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The first time Kairi’s hidden fear showed itself, Sora was too young to know what any of it even meant.
She’d washed ashore Destiny Islands out of nowhere and had made it her home in no time. Sora had found her, but she didn’t need his help fitting in. There were so few kids on the island that anyone new was excitedly welcomed, and none of their friends had given a second thought to where she might’ve come from.
A few weeks after she’d settled in, a game of hide n’ seek brought their friends and parents to the Play Island. Sora was “it” as he often was, tasked with finding his friends across the island. As unfair as it was, he focused on finding the new girl first, since she hadn’t learned the island’s best hiding spots yet.
A shifting box followed by a poorly concealed giggle revealed her choice, the island shack. Sora snuck up slowly, counted to three, and burst through the door, his hands stretched out like claws in front of him.
“I found you, Kairi!”
The noise that followed made him pause. She screamed, but not in a fun, giggly way. She sounded...really scared, and it only continued as she huddled tightly in the corner of the shack, facing away from him.
“Hey, it’s okay! It’s just Sora, see?” he said as he sat down beside her. When she came out of hiding from behind her hands, he shot her the biggest smile he could. But she couldn’t stop crying. “Kairi, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”
“No. I-I don’t know. Please make it stop.” She curled in on herself again, hugging her legs and rocking from side to side.
He had no idea how to help but followed her lead by shuffling in closer and hugging her from behind. “Whatever’s scaring Kairi, go away!”
They both jumped when the door opened again, but it was Riku and some grown-ups who came running in. Many questions followed, none of which Kairi knew the answer to, and the more that came, the more scared she looked. Her new mom, the mayor, checked her for injuries, Riku punched Sora’s shoulder, thinking he was the one who’d scared her, and even more kids crowded around them. The grown-ups spoke amongst themselves where the kids couldn’t eavesdrop. All the while, Kairi looked like she’d seen a monster. A big one, maybe invisible too, since Sora never saw it.
Soon, the mayor came and picked Kairi up. “Are you giving me back?” Kairi asked.
“Of course not, dear.” The woman kissed her head. “We’re just going to see what we can do for you.”
Riku intervened before they could leave. “Will Kairi get to play with us again?”
“Absolutely.” The woman looked at their group. “Friends are the ones we need most during hard times.”
Her words stuck with Sora until his mom tucked him into bed that night. “What did the mayor mean when she said ‘hard times?’” he asked. “Kairi just got really scared.”
His mother sat beside his bed. “She means that Kairi is new here. It’s hard enough being the new girl, but she also can’t remember anything about her old home.”
“How could that be bothering her if she can’t remember?”
“Sometimes our bodies remember before our minds do.”
“So how am I supposed to help if she doesn’t even know?”
She smoothed his hair flat, but his spikes popped right back up. “That’s easy, dear, you just keep being her friend. Don’t pry her for answers she’s not ready to give, but be there for her when she needs it.”
So Sora did exactly as his mother had suggested for the next several years. He paid attention to what made Kairi panic and did his best to prevent it. It only really happened whenever someone loomed right over her, but unfortunately, it happened quite often since she was so little. Standing in front of her seemed to help because of their similar height, but Sora couldn’t prevent all of her panic attacks. Despite becoming less frequent as they grew older, something would trigger them once in a while.
One day, when they were all playing frisbee with Tidus, Wakka, and Selphie, it happened again. Selphie threw the frisbee chaotically to avoid being tackled by Riku. Kairi caught it and searched for their nearest goal. When she turned around, however, she faced Wakka’s form barrelling towards her, arms wide and ready to stop her.
She didn’t throw the frisbee but dropped it right where she stood. Sora watched her body tense up, her smile vanishing in a flash as her eyes grew wide, and fortunately Wakka noticed too before he could tackle her.
Kairi sank to the ground, hugging her knees closely. Riku’s response was much more swift and direct than Sora’s as he pushed Wakka away and asked what he’d done. Wakka just shrugged his shoulders, and the commotion only caused more eyes to be drawn to the girl sitting in the sand.
But Sora noticed the look in her eyes. Normally such a bright girl who naturally drew the gazes of those around her, she now turned away from the attention. Her eyes locked with his, and he knew that she didn’t want this.
“It’s not Wakka’s fault,” she finally said. “Just give me a minute. I’ll be fine.”
“You sure, Kairi?” Wakka dared to step closer, and Riku begrudgingly allowed him to. “We can find something else to play if it’s too much for ya.”
“No, don’t treat me differently. This—whatever it is—it isn’t me. I don’t want to coddle it. Please, I just...I just want to overcome it.”
A collective silence followed as their friends exchanged looks. Sora still didn’t understand much about what was plaguing Kairi, but he remembered his mother’s words.
He was beside her in a few steps, extending a hand to help her up. “C’mon, Kairi, you’ve got this. We’ll help you.”
Riku nodded. “However long it takes.”
Wakka rubbed his head. “Just don’t tackle me next time, ya?”
Kairi needed many things from Sora over the years—a hug when she felt down, a word of encouragement, an ear to confide in. But she never needed him to go easy on her. He felt a strange sense of protection towards her, but it wasn’t until their island was attacked that he actually feared for her safety.
And it wasn’t until he found her again that he ended up being the one who needed protection. He’d thought that losing his heart would’ve been the end of it. That he’d fade away and only exist as a Shadow mindlessly wandering the halls of the abandoned castle. But his heart heard her calling out to him, and the dark wisp of a body that had replaced his own had enough of a will to follow it.
Her voice grew louder, closer, and he could make out words. Something about protecting him. But why would he need protecting? His heart didn’t even exist anymore.
He wanted to yell for her to just run. Instead, her voice cried out to him again, calling his name. An overwhelming warmth surrounded him before he could even try to speak, and a bright light pierced the vast emptiness that he’d faded into. He could see again, and the hands of his reforming body instinctively reached out to meet the welcoming light.
The light consumed him neither forcefully nor violently. His body took shape around something—no, someone—and he didn’t have to wait long to know who had brought his heart back. Brought him back.
Before his eyes even opened, he spoke. “Kairi, thank you.”
From the evaporating remains of Heartless surrounding them and Donald and Goofy’s readiness to fight, Sora knew they’d faced danger solely for his sake instead of running. She’d faced danger head on without even a moment’s hesitation. Her eyes showed neither fear nor panic.
It was then that he knew she’d accomplished what she’d wanted to years ago—she’d overcome the fear that had hidden itself deep within her. He would’ve hugged her again if it hadn’t been for the danger pursuing them.
Even though she couldn’t be with him on every following adventure, her bravery and determination grew with each reunion. She leapt from balconies to come to his rescue. She embraced her role as both a Princess of Heart and a Guardian of Light. She accepted Axel’s friendship despite his actions. She walked side by side with their friends, old and new, to face the Organization.
He knew that together, they were strong enough to face anything, but a sinking feeling still rose in his gut as they stepped forward. If she were to get hurt at all, he’d never forgive himself. It only worsened in a matter of seconds, when the silver-haired man who Ven called “Terra” suddenly struck Ven down.
Then he confirmed Sora’s worst fear and went for Kairi. Axel stepped in faster than Sora could, but he wasn’t fast enough to protect himself from the man’s sheer strength. He too went down.
Kairi was open, unguarded, before a man who was not holding back, and Sora’s muscles snapped out of their stasis. Understandably, she froze, but it wasn’t with the same shock and confusion that Aqua had after Ven fell. Kairi’s arms stiffened at her sides, unable to even call Destiny’s Embrace to her aid. Her violet irises blew wide, and her jaw locked open and stiff. He knew that look well, for he’d witnessed it many times.
Calling her name would’ve wasted the precious energy he needed to get to her quickly. He didn’t even have time to summon his Keyblade as Kairi’s attacker raised his own, so he did for her exactly what she’d done to bring his heart back without a second thought. His body shielded her, with his back turned to their imminent danger. He’d helped her with an embrace many times throughout their childhood, so he hoped the gesture communicated what he didn’t have time to say.
You’re not alone, Kairi.
It’s okay to be afraid.
Thanks to his friends, Sora never took the strike that had been fated for Kairi, but it did come for her later when Xehanort knew how far to keep them apart. Sora lost count of how many times he’d defied fate that day, but he did it one last time for her. Merlin’s voice echoed in his head from many months ago, warning him never to change events that were fated to happen as they stood before the door leading to Mickey’s kingdom’s past. He threw the wizard’s advice aside before jumping through time’s gate.
Whether or not Kairi actually knew that Sora had been trying to help her, he didn’t know. She rarely spoke of her lost memories outside of when they’d tormented her. What mattered was that he’d helped in some way. Given her what she needed to face her fears head on. Maybe she’d never actually needed him to overcome it.
But as they sat unseen upon the walls surrounding Disney Castle, with fireworks illuminating the night sky with every color imaginable, he didn’t care how large a role he’d played in her growth. As long as he could be a part of her life, the rest didn’t matter. That’s all, she’d said to him while offering a paopu fruit, unaware of just how significant she was.
“You know,” she said to break the silence, still staring at the cacophony of colors. “I never did find out what scared me so much as a little girl.”
“You don’t need to,” Sora answered. “You’ve overcome it all on your own.”
“That’s true.” She smiled before finally turning to him and winking. “Though, maybe not entirely on my own.” So she had noticed. The realization left Sora flustered and speechless, and she didn’t give him time to recover before speaking again. “I’ve heard that some people react the same way to fireworks. It isn’t the fireworks themselves, but what the sounds and lights remind them of, memories that either haunt them or are lost like mine. Maybe it doesn’t matter whether or not I remember, but a part of me is still curious.”
Sora glanced down at his hand, hoping it wouldn’t begin to fade away soon. He didn’t know how much time he had, but he wanted to make the most of it. He moved closer to her, covering her hand with his own.
“Maybe it’s not necessary, but if you ever do want those answers, I’ll do everything I can to help you find them too.”
She giggled with a sweet smile. “I can’t keep asking you to save me, Sora.”
“You don’t have to ask,” Sora said, then laughed. “Whatever you need, Kairi, it’s yours.”
