Chapter Text
The award ceremony was over and after the Shiratorizawa volleyball team finished their stretchings, they left the hall. Behind them, they could still hear the fans of Karasuno cheering, but this became much quieter when the door closed behind them.
None of them had expected defeat, so their disappointment was big. Large tears still rolled down Tsutomu's face, and Tendou Satori had placed a hand on the younger man's back and was gently pushing him forward.
A crowd of fans and students of Shiratorizawa were already waiting in the large hall. It was completely silent and the crowd opened a little so that the athletes could pass through unhindered. Suddenly, a slow clap from one person broke the silence. Gradually more and more of the fans clapped and after a very short time, the losers of the final were loudly cheered. None of the players lifted their eyes, they couldn't look their fans in the eye at the moment, but it felt good to know that people were still behind them.
An aching lump formed in Tendou's throat as well, but the redhead was good at suppressing such feelings. At least on the outside. The group started to move again and as they came out of the building, the setting sun briefly blinded them.
Slowly, one by one, they boarded the bus and Tendou sat down in the second to last row at the window. He propped up his arm and rested his chin in his palm, fixing nothing in particular with his eyes, when he saw a girl in the Shiratorizawa school uniform run out of the building and toward the bus. It was Michi Itô, his best friend in high school since 2nd grade. She stopped a little distance from the departing bus and waved at her friend, then formed a heart with her hands to show him that she was sorry they had lost. Tendou waved back and had to smile.
Tsutomu had sat down next to him and was still sobbing. "There, there." Said the red-haired third grader as he patted Goshiki's knee. "You'll get your chance next year." The younger wiped tears from his face with his arm, took a deep breath, and nodded resolutely.
Tendou looked out the window again. Normally he was in high spirits when he was with his team, even when they lost a game, which wasn't often, he enjoyed spending time with them, however this trip home had a bitter taste. It was the last time Tendou Satori would travel home from a game with this team. It was also the last time ever that he had played an official game. He didn't want to say that he would never play volleyball again, just for fun, but he wouldn't play on a team again. However, it had also been a good ending. The game against Karasuno's crows had been an epic game. However, he would have liked to play a little longer.
After they gathered in the Shiratorizawa gym and they had a little debriefing of the game, with the coach not being as loud as the students would have thought, they were dismissed. They could do the 100 serves, they should have done, the next day, their coach had said, and left. The coach knew his team had played well and despite a few mistakes, they could hardly have done better.
For the next two weeks, the third graders would still participate in practice, but not as often because final exams were coming up then. Therefore, the coach postponed the meal that was planned for after the game until the day they said goodbye to the third graders. He saw in the eyes of his students that they were all completely exhausted, tired and depressed and he wanted to give them rest for today.
Dejectedly, the athletes left the hall and slowly, one by one, they went home, not wanting to do anything else.
As Tendou walked through the school gate with Semi and Goshiki, he noticed Ushijima standing slightly off to the side, probably waiting to be picked up. His large and muscular body seemed much smaller than usual. However, not only because it was a very tiring game. Tendou apologized to his friends, who walked together a bit in the same direction, and then walked towards Ushijima. "Wakatoshi-kun, don't let your head he-" Tendou was about to place his hand comfortingly on Ushijima's shoulder, but stopped his movement when the other's gaze met him. A shadow had settled over the eyes of Shiratorizawa's ace, but like a large bird of prey, his green-brown eyes seemed to almost glow.
After looking into each other's eyes for a moment, Ushijima averted his gaze and stared at the ground again. Standing side by side, the two remained silent. Normally Tendou knew how to build up his comrades, but just now, when Ushijima needed it urgently, he couldn't think of any words that could have helped. Therefore, he put his hand on the other's shoulder and pressed it gently until a car turned the corner. It was already dark and the headlights blinded the two students.
Tendou patted his friend's shoulder once more. "Well, I'll be off to the dorm, see you tomorrow." Then he turned on his heels and marched off. "Thank you..." he heard a dark and slightly hoarse voice say behind him. Without turning around, Tendou continued walking, but raised his hand once more in farewell. He heard a car door slam shut and the car drive off.
The redhead sighed, put his hands in the jacket pocket of his uniform and looked up. Now he was alone and a dark veil tried to settle over his thoughts again, as it often did when nothing distracted him. He hated this feeling, but he could not stop it. It was as if someone was sitting on his chest and astounding him. He clenched his hands into fists in his jacket pocket to prevent them from shaking. His heart began to beat violently against his chest and Tendou could already feel that he was about to feel really bad. He took a few deep breaths and tried to stay calm.
"Satori-kuuuun!" he heard an all too familiar voice call out behind him. He turned in the direction from which he had come and saw Michi running toward him, waving. His hands were still clenched into fists, but he felt himself relax a little. He forced himself to smile. "Mi-chan! What are you doing here?" Completely out of breath, the girl had to brace herself on her knees for now, and it took her a moment to get her breath back decently. When she straightened up again, she hugged her friend and because he was over 20cm taller than her, she pressed her face into his chest.
Tendou let his hands hang down by his sides. He resisted the urge to hug her too. The redhead didn't want to be pushy. They stood like that for a while and Tendou could feel his friend's warm breath through the shirt on his chest, and it gave him slight goosebumps. After a few minutes, the girl broke away from him again, feeling a little ashamed because the embrace had lasted longer than she actually wanted.
Tendou looked at her with his head slightly tilted and his eyes wide. "That doesn't answer my question." The girl looked him in the eye.
He was kind of a weirdo. At first, she had even been warned not to make friends with him. Quickly Michi had noticed that Tendou was a bit strange and different, but by no means dangerous or malicious, as he had been accused of being. However, there was another side to him. Every time he stood on the volleyball court, he was confident, strong and the usually gentle guy could get really provocative. However, he was her best friend and she knew him all too well. She was the only person Tendou had talked to about his "dark moments" as he called them and once she had even witnessed such a moment. At that time, she was afraid for him. That's why she was here now. Michi knew it was his last game and wanted to make sure he was okay.
Embarrassed, she scratched her nose. "Well, I can't leave you alone on a night like this." Tendou put his head on the other side and made even bigger eyes, which probably meant he didn't know what it was about. "You know what I mean, dumbass!" Michi punched him in the chest and Tendou rubbed the spot completely exaggerated, but then they both laughed.
"Let's go somewhere else!" the girl suggested. Tendou didn't seem to be enthusiastic and he hung his head and shoulders. "Everything hurts, I'm tired and I haven't showered yet, I'm sure I stink like an old donkey!" Michi leaned forward toward him and inhaled deeply through her nose. "No you don't, you've used enough deodorant." She smiled at him. "Besides, you had to be hungry after such an exhausting game, let's go eat something!" "I'm not hungry..." "And I'm not leaving you alone now!" He looked at her, puzzled. "You may fool everyone else around you Tendou Satori, but not me. I can see it in your eyes. I won't leave you alone now!" Tendou sighed. He remembered when Michi had seen him behind the gym that time. He will never forget the way she had looked at him. He had scared her so much. But not because she was afraid OF him, but because she was afraid ABOUT him. He had never experienced anything like that before. Moreover, he was terribly sorry that she had witnessed it then. "All right, let's eat." He admitted defeatedly. "But I really want to take a shower first."
Michi could live with that. She walked with him to the dormitory where many Shiratorizawa students lived. Since many minors lived there, each floor had two counselors. Since Tendou was one of the older students, he hardly knew his counselors and they usually left the students in peace.
Tendou's room was on the third floor. On that floor the rooms had their own toilets but no showers, for that they had to go to the communal shower on that floor. The redhead took Michi to his room and asked her to wait, he wouldn't be long.
Michi sat down on his bed and looked around. The bed on the other side of the room was empty. Other than that, there was only a desk, a closet and a mini-kitchen in the room. A few pieces of clothing along with a few issues of Shonen Jump were scattered on the floor and a poster of a band called Babymetal (Michi didn't know them) hung on the wall. Otherwise, the room seemed pretty empty.
After less than 10 minutes Tendou was back, dressed only in boxers, a towel over his head and his school uniform under his arm. For a moment, Michi's gaze lingered on the almost naked body of the redhead. Under his clothes, he always seemed very thin, which was also due to his height, but this way she could see that he actually had a very good figure. Quickly she looked away with flushed cheeks. What was she thinking?
Tendou threw the school uniform carelessly on the bed next to Michi and rummaged in his closet. He put on a pair of loose, gray cloth pants and almost another black T-shirt. Only the bare arms peeking out of the sleeves of the T-shirt still indicated that he had a very muscular body, otherwise it was again well hidden under the much too large clothes.
With the towel, he rubbed his hair dry, they were now completely messed up. A quick glance in the mirror. "Fits." Said the redhead to his reflection.
Michi shook her head and laughed. "What's there to laugh about?" "Nothing. I like it when your hair looks like that." Tendou just shrugged.
The two walked outside and stood in front of the dorm. Tendou put his hands in his pants pockets. "So, where are you going?" Michi pondered. "Hmmm... there's this little diner, I used to go there with my girlfriends, it's never busy, but it's really great." The redhead just raised his shoulders again. "Fine by me."
As they walked to the diner, the girl tried hard to keep a conversation going, but Tendou became more and more silent.
The diner wasn't far away and there really wasn't much going on. 'Thank God,' Michi thought to herself. She knew Tendou didn't like to be around many people, except when playing volleyball, there he enjoyed it. However, when they were doing something it often happened that other people looked at them askance and Tendou always noticed it, even if he wasn't looking directly.
The two sat down in a corner from where they could see everything.
"Order what you want, I invite you." said Michi while Tendou studied the menu. Actually, he had skipped the first pages immediately and was already at the desserts. "I want chocolate ice cream." he said still hiding behind the menu card. Michi sighed, "Shouldn't you have some real food first? I mean, this has been a really busy day today." Tendou put the card on the table and he rested his forehead on it. "And that's why I want chocolate ice cream..."
Futile. Michi, his teammates and the coach had already brought up Tendou's eating habits, but he only ate what he was in the mood for. "Alright, chocolate ice cream then." the girl gave in and she heard Tendou, who still had his face on the table, say softly "Yes." which made her smile.
The waitress looked a bit confused because Tendou didn't raise his head either after she tried to take the order, but Michi took over to place the order and the waitress was very friendly.
For a while, they sat there in silence. Tendou with his head on the table and Michi watching him cautiously.
"...I thought I had a little more time..." Tendou spoke so softly that Michi barely understood him. "For what? Volleyball? You can still play if you..." "No, that's not what I meant..." Tendou raised his head slightly, looked Michi in the eye for a moment, and then looked to the side. "What did you mean then?" she asked in a calm voice. "I..." Tendou hesitated for a moment and Michi noticed that his cheeks were reddening. "I thought I had more time to be with him..." and again Tendou was so quiet that Michi had to strain to understand what he was saying. She then remembered a conversation she had with Tendou. One of the few conversations in which he was honest and told her about himself.
At that time, Tendou had been waiting for the bus with her. They were sitting together on a bench and no one else had been around.
Michi had confessed to him that she had a crush on a boy, who went to a parallel class, but he had no idea and it was very hard to see the boy every day. "I know what you mean." Had said Tendou in a very calm voice. After that, he had confessed to her that he too thought a boy was great who went to another class. For a moment, Michi had been shocked. "But... aren't you totally into that actress who played Sadako?" had been her question and he had only responded with "So what?" That day he had told her that he found both girls and boys attractive. It always depended on the person. She was the only person he had confided in and that made Michi a little proud, even if he had not talked about such things with her afterwards.
Now Michi briefly remembered the conversation. "You're talking about Ushijima-kun, aren't you?" she asked Tendou quietly. When the girl mentioned Ushijima's name, she saw Tendou wince briefly. Therefore, she was right.
When the waitress brought their order to the table, they both fell silent. She put a big cup of chocolate ice cream in front of Tendou and Michi got a portion of gyoza and a big glass of water for both of them.
After the waitress asked if everything was okay and Michi answered yes, she left them alone again.
Before Michi knew it, Tendou had already eaten almost half of the sundae. She now also made herself over her food and for a while, it was completely silent between the two, until Tendou dropped his head in the neck. "AAhhh... I never thought we would lose!" he said rather loudly and Michi almost dropped the gyoza she was holding between the chopsticks in shock. The girl knew that Tendou was really in a bad mood because of the defeat, but by now, she also knew that this was just one of his attempts to divert the topic, because otherwise the conversation became too profound for him, so she simply "overheard" his statement.
"It's not like you can't see him anymore, after all, school's still going on for a few more weeks.", she said after she swallowed. She waited a moment to see if Tendou had anything to say about it, but as he silently shoved another spoonful of ice cream into his mouth, she continued speaking. "If you really like him, you should talk to him. I'm sure you'll be in training together a few more times, too. There would definitely be an opportunity where you." Tendou interrupted her. "And what should I tell him?" Seriously, he looked at the girl. "Tell him how you feel!" Michi held his gaze. Tendou laughed. "And what good is that going to do? Besides, making an idiot of myself once again? Do you really think, even if he was into boys, he could like ME?"
The girl tried to remain calm. "I don't know. But if you don't talk to him, I'm sure you'll regret it someday." "Tss..." Was all the redhead gave her in reply.
Again, his heart was hammering in his chest. He was so angry and had to pull himself together a lot not to take that anger out on his friend. After all, she wasn't to blame for everything. Tendou felt tears welling up in his eyes and tried to hold them back with all his might. The defeat, the fact that it was his last game, even though he had decided to stop playing volleyball, it was harder than he had thought. He didn't regret the decision, but he had been convinced that he would make it to the finals and play a few more games at the Nationals. That they had lost today came as quite a surprise. He hated himself for Michi trying so hard and making her feel useless, even though he was really glad that she was with him.
Tendou tried to calm down a bit, taking a deep breath and running his hand through his hair.
"Listen Mi-chan, I know you mean well but... I just want to end this day. I'm really tired and everything hurts." Michi nodded in understanding. "I understand that, but I just don't want to leave you alone when you're not feeling well. I'm afraid that..." Tendou raised his hand and interrupted her. He knew what she was alluding to. "I know… but don't worry about it. I'll feel better after I sleep a little bit." Said the redhead smiling, but Michi wasn't sure if the smile was serious or not. This guy was really hard to read, he tried his hardest not to be seen through. Whether that was intentional, she didn't know.
Suddenly she had an idea. She leaned forward and put her hand on top of his, which was almost twice his size. "You know what? How about I stay with you tonight?" Tendou looked at her with wide eyes and tilted his head. "Not like that, you idiot!" Immediately she let go of his hand again. "There's the second bed free in your room, isn't there? I can sleep there. I'll tell my parents I'm staying at a friend's house, it's Friday and you don't have to go to practice until the afternoon tomorrow."
Now Tendou leaned forward a bit and pointed his index finger at himself. "You do know... that I'm a boy, right?" Michi shrugged his shoulders. "I trust you."
That made Tendou's face turn almost the same color as his hair. Then he scratched his nose in embarrassment. "But... I wonder if I can trust you. Maybe you won't be able to resist my incredible charisma and you'll get lost on me." Michi threw the napkin in her friend's face. "You're so stupid sometimes!" To which the redhead just laughed.
Michi went outside briefly to make a phone call. The phone call to Michi's parents was short. At the last moment she had decided not to lie to her parents and told her mother the truth on the phone, namely that her friend was not well and that she would stay with him. Her mother replied that she would trust her, but that she could call her anytime if she needed anything.
Shortly after Michi hung up, she got a message from her father. - I trust you - and a raised index finger smiley. She knew her father wasn't angry and really trusted her.
After she sat back down with her red-haired friend, he looked at her with wide eyes. "What is it?" "Well..." he hesitated a bit. "Do you really want to stay the night, with ME?" The tall redhead leaned back in his chair and had his gaze down. "Why not?" Said Michi, meaning every word.
Tendou nervously slid back and forth in the chair. "I..." he started, but didn't speak further. Although he trusted this girl more than anyone else in the world, it was very hard to be open. He had learned that it was better to build a wall around yourself, and then you didn't get your heart broken. He had learned it in a painful way.
Tendou felt his friend's warm hand, again on his. She gave him time to find his words. "I just... can't imagine... someone... spending so much time with me... I'm..." He couldn't find the right words and suddenly he felt tears running down his face. Michi jumped up and went around the table to hug her friend tightly, now that he was sitting she was even a little taller than him and she rested her head on his, her arms wrapped around his neck. "You're such a big idiot...", she whispered into his hair.
Very carefully, Tendou raised his hand and touched his friend's arm very lightly at first. She did not react. Didn't seem disgusted or to flinch. His hand shook, but he now held onto her arm, his hand so large that he could loosely reach around it. She still didn't pull her arm away, as he expected, and his grip tightened a bit. For a few minutes, they remained in this position until Michi finally lifted her head, pressed a peck on the redhead's red hair and loosened her grip around him.
A little while later, the two made their way to the dorm where Tendou had his room. While they were on the way, neither of them spoke a word, but Tendou enjoyed the presence of his friend.
Just before reaching the dorm, Tendou slowed Michi down by holding her by the strap of her bag. "What the...! What's wrong?" Tendou looked at her seriously. "Well... I guess... well, I wasn't paying attention when they read out the house rules, but I don't think it's allowed for us to take girls to the room...", he said with a wry smile on his face. Then he raised his index finger. "So we have to be quick, usually no one is out at this hour."
Michi nodded and her heart raced. She had never done anything forbidden before, even if she saw nothing wrong in spending the night with Tendou.
They quickly scurried up the stairs and then into Tendou's room. "Okay, I don't think anyone saw us." The redhead said, while Michi was completely out of breath. She could barely WALK up stairs without almost suffocating and now she had RUN to the third floor.
Tendou smiled, for he had noticed, but said nothing.
They took off their shoes and Tendou turned on the light. "Oh my!" said Michi and Tendou was almost scared to death. "What is it?" he asked while holding his chest, thinking his heart would jump out. "I didn't bring any sleeping clothes!" Tendou pondered. "Hmm... if you don't mind, you can wear one of my t-shirts. I'm sure I can find another clean one." He said and walked towards his closet. "Should be like a nightgown for you." Then he laughed.
He rummaged through his clothes for a while, sniffing many shirts until he found one. "There, that smells fresh." He held it out to Michi. When she hesitated to take it, he pulled the shirt back a little. "Or do you think it's gross to put something of mine on? I'd understand." "No! It isn't! Jerk!" she yanked the shirt out of his hand. "But...where do you want me to change?" "There's the bathroom up ahead, it's not big, but you can change there." He pointed to the door that was almost next to the front door, just behind the small kitchen.
The girl nodded and walked towards the toilet.
Tendou sat down on his bed and waited. When they were out, it all sounded like a great idea, but now that they were here in his room, all alone, he felt a little uncomfortable. What had they been thinking? If anyone saw them, they would be in big trouble. No telling what kind of rumors would spread and what it would mean for Michi. He himself was used to being the victim of strange rumors, but he really didn't want to do something like that to his friend.
He quickly set the alarm for the next day very early so they could go to the bus stop before the other students woke up.
Michi stood in the meantime in the small room, with sink and toilet. Briefly, she looked around. There was a tube of toothpaste at the sink. There was also a toothbrush, a comb and some hair wax, which Satori probably used to get that crazy hairstyle. Then the girl stared into the small mirror. What had they been thinking? Just like Tendou, she began to doubt if this was a good idea. She wanted to be there for him, yes, but it still felt strange to be here in the room with him at night. Even though she actually trusted him, it was a strange feeling.
As she took off her school uniform and folded it neatly on the toilet lid, and then put on Tendou's shirt, she had to laugh. The shirt, which was probably too big for the red-haired giant, like all his clothes, went down to her knees and hung completely loose on her, as if she had put on a potato sack. Somehow, she felt better now. She walked back into the room with her bare feet and turned in front of her friend, who was staring at her with his mouth open, but she didn't notice. "So, does it suit me?"
Tendou swallowed before he could answer. "Well, it looks better on me..." he replied, though he could barely look at her, she looked so cute right now.
When the girl went back into the bathroom to get her clothes, Tendou slapped his forehead. What was he thinking? Just a moment ago, he was in despair over Wakatoshi-kun, and now he was glaring at his best friend just because she looked totally gorgeous right now? Michi put her clothes down on the desk and put her glasses on top of them. Then she crawled into the empty bed. "Man, this is comfortable. Maybe I'll move in here." And she laughed. Tendou laughed along, but he could hardly look at her. She trusted him and he wouldn't stare at her like a crazy person, he liked her too much for that.
Normally Tendou slept in the clothes he was currently wearing, just without pants, but since he didn't want to embarrass himself in front of Michi, he put on another T-shirt in the bathroom, which was definitely too small to change into for his long arms and legs. He couldn't tell if it was fresh, though.
With the new black T-shirt and boxer shorts, he came back to the room. Before, when he got out of the shower, he had less on, but didn't worry about it as much as he did right now. He was uncomfortable and quickly went to his bed and tucked himself in.
As he relaxed a bit he didn't realize how much his muscles hurt. It would be hard to get out of bed tomorrow. The game today had really taken a lot out of him. Slowly he turned his head so he could see Michi. "Sorry, I won't be awake much longer...I'm knocked out." Michi smiled at him. "That's okay, I'm tired too. Good night."
Tendou stretched out his long arm and turned off the light. Then he looked up at the ceiling. When was the last time someone had wished him good night? He couldn't remember. He realized again that his friendship with Michi was priceless to him.
"Mi-chan?" "Hmmm?" "I'm glad you're here..."
He heard the girl turn in bed, but didn't look in her direction, instead continuing to stare at the ceiling.
Michi on the other hand, tried to make out her friend without glasses and in the dark. The light shining through the window was bright enough for her to see his outline. Actually, she wasn't tired yet, but knowing what an exhausting day her friend had, she didn't object to go to bed.
It wasn't long before she heard a steady breathing from the bed on the other side of the room and the girl had to smile. He must have been really tired if he fell asleep so quickly.
She pulled the covers over her head and played some more trivial games on her smartphone under the covers so she wouldn't wake Tendou up.
After about an hour, she heard strange noises from outside the blanket and carefully pulled it off her head. It was Tendou, who appeared to be rolling around in his bed, breathing heavily and moaning. He had to be having a nightmare.
Concerned, the girl looked in his direction again, but with the glare of the cell phone light, she had been looking into a short while ago, her eyes had to get used to the darkness again, but she still saw the redhead fidgeting in his bed. It had to be a really bad dream. He was also talking something to himself, but at first she couldn't understand what he was saying.
But suddenly and jerkily Tendou straightened up and screamed. "NO!" Then there was silence. Michi, whose eyes had slowly become accustomed to the darkness, saw the dark outline of her friend sitting in the bed, burying his face in his hands.
Then she heard a sob. He was crying. Tendou was crying. Even though she had seen him cry before today and had seen him cry before, it was always surreal to her when the redhead cried. She knew him as the one who built others up, made them laugh with his silly sayings, and didn't care what others thought of him. To see him cry then was the exact opposite of the Tendou Satori he seemed to be on the outside.
Quietly, the girl pushed the blanket off her body and threw her legs over the edge of the bed. Almost silently, she got up and walked across the room. When she lifted the blanket in the bed across from her, the boy sitting in it startled and his body flinched. Neither of them said a word, but she sat down next to him and threw the blanket over her bare legs. She could feel the warmth of the other under the blanket and she hugged him. He was very warm. Even slightly sweaty, probably from the nightmare. His big body was trembling. Whether it was from the dream or from the gentle touch, the girl couldn't tell.
Now she could feel him wrapping his long arms around her and pressing her tightly against him. Since her head was pressed against his chest, she could hear his heartbeat. It was very fast, her pulse also quickened, and she pressed herself even more against Tendou's warm body.