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The abandoned apartment where the Red Lotus took shelter was less than ideal, with its crumbling walls, cracked windows, and damp smell. Still, it was miles better than the horrific conditions of the prisons they had just broken out of. The tree in the middle of the living room and the spirit vines with a mind of their own even made Ming-Hua think of the Foggy Swamp Water Tribe. Oh, how long it had been since the last time she was home...
With Zaheer off gallivanting on Air Temple Island, his friends had nothing to do but sit and wait for him to come back with news of the Avatar's whereabouts. Ming-Hua spent her days napping and drinking water, the scratchy, dry feeling in her throat never fully going away no matter how much she drank.
Despite the time of year, nights in Republic City were cold. After so many years in the blistering heat, Ming-Hua relished in it. She would climb up the rusty fire escape to the roof of the building and soak in the moonlight. At that moment, she'd never felt more alive.
"Hey."
Ming-Hua jumped, startled. How did he, with his notoriously heavy footsteps, manage to sneak up on her?
She spared him a sideways glance. "How's P'Li?"
"Finally asleep," Ghazan answered, plopping down next to her on the edge of the rooftop. "I had to go into the apartment next door to get some extra blankets. The cold's really getting to her."
"I can imagine. I spent all of five minutes down in that hole of lost souls and nearly froze my ass off. It's gonna take her a while to adjust." Her voice cracked on the last sentence and she broke into a coughing fit, the taste of sulfur ever-present on her tongue.
Ghazan rubbed her back as she took a swig from her water skin. The sympathetic look he gave her burned into her skull and she scooted away from him, muttering curses under her breath.
“I’m surprised how you got used to it so quickly. You were shivering after we first got you out, and now you’re up here without even a coat on.” Clearly, he did not get the message to drop the subject. Did thirteen years out at sea really make him this dense?
“I was not shivering!” Ming-Hua snapped, desperately trying to hold back another cough. “And whatever. I don’t care about the cold. Anything’s better than that torture chamber.”
She was deflecting, stalling, and they both knew it. Following her prison break, neither of them could bring themselves to breach a certain topic. The adrenaline was running too high, their focus directed entirely at rescuing P’Li. Now, both of her lovers were safe, one sleeping soundly downstairs, and the other right next to her, patiently waiting for when she was ready.
For the first time since Ghazan joined her on the roof, Ming-Hua fully turned to him. He was looking at her expectantly, raising an eyebrow in silent question. They didn’t have to do this now, they could wait until after their mission was completed, he wouldn’t push her…
But she knew that the longer she waited, the harder it would be. Better to do it now, before the craziness in their lives picked up again and she’d lose her only chance at a peaceful moment.
“What’s the time?” She asked suddenly. Ghazan blinked in surprise, before turning his gaze to the sky. There was no need for him to ask her why, he was well aware of what day it was tomorrow.
During their journey to the North Pole, he had revealed that if his years on the wooden rig had taught him anything, it was how to accurately tell the time of day by the colour of the sky and the position of celestial bodies. She’d never say it, but she was jealous that he at least had some way of differentiating one day from another, morning from the afternoon. She wasn’t given the luxury of a view of the sky back in the volcano.
After a few moments, he responded. “About a quarter till midnight.”
She hummed absentmindedly, in her head trying to string together enough words to tell him what was weighing on her mind ever since she woke up in that spirits-damned cage. She was never one for flowery language and purple prose. Ghazan was the same way, one of the things she loved about him. Quick and to the point, and so unlike Zaheer, who seemed to only speak in Guru Laghima quotes nowadays.
Taking a deep breath, she once again cut through the quiet of the darkness.
“I miss them.”
Three simple words, but with so much weight behind them.
She stiffened when Ghazan moved closer and wrapped an arm around her, but soon relaxed into his chest. He didn’t say a word, giving her plenty of time to gather her thoughts. She had still not gotten used to how serious he could become, how jarring it was from his usual, easy-going demeanor.
“We never should have gone that night. None of us.” She choked out, emotion seeping into her voice. “We never should have left them.”
Ming-Hua felt the dam inside her breaking, years of guilt, grief, and worry coming out all at once in the form of tears. She wasn’t aware she could still produce those.
“I promised myself that I’d be a good mother. That I’d always be there for them, no matter what. I never wanted them to grow up all alone.” Her whole body shook as she sobbed into Ghazan’s shirt. He ran his fingers through her hair, verging on playing with the silky locks. It had always calmed her down back in the day.
“They were so small… so happy and bright-eyed and innocent… How could we do that to them, Ghazan? How could we abandon them? How could- how could I abandon them…?”
“Ming, look at me.” She reluctantly pulled away and met his golden-brown eyes, the same ones she had fallen in love with as a young girl.
The same ones their oldest daughter inherited.
“What happened wasn’t your fault. We couldn’t have predicted things would end up this way.” He put a finger on her mouth when she opened it to protest. “You think I don’t miss them? You think I didn’t damn near lose my mind wondering what happened to our little girls? I wish everything was different, too. I wish we could’ve watched them grow and been there to guide them through life. But we can’t change what happened and you can’t blame yourself for it.”
As he spoke, he tenderly took her face into his hands. He pressed their foreheads together and smiled. She couldn’t help but smile back.
“You’re a good mother, Ming-Hua. Even prison can’t change that. And once all this is over, we’ll get them back. We’ll find them, My Love.”
Her smile wavered and she faltered. “But what if they don’t even remember us anymore? It’s been thirteen years, Suiren is-“ Her eyes widened as she did the math in her head. “Suiren is twenty . That’s how old I was when she was born. She’s not the little girl we left behind anymore. And Midori was only four when we left… There’s no way she remembers, even if Suiren does.”
The tears had ceased, but something heavy still tugged at her heart. From Ghazan’s expression, she could tell he felt it too.
“And if they do remember… what if they hate us for leaving?”
Something in Ghazan changed the moment she said it. He gripped her firmly by the shoulders, his touch didn’t hurt, but it wasn’t as gentle as before. Arguing against whatever he was about to say was useless.
“Don’t say that. Not even if you’re just listing possibilities. I’m not saying it’s definitely not true, but I’d prefer to think it’s not.” He paused, lost in the bittersweet memories of the past for all but a second in her eyes, but what must’ve been an eternity for him.
“They called us the best parents in the world, remember? They loved us back then, we can only hope they’ll love us now.” He spoke quietly, but with a hard, final tone. All Ming-Hua could do was nod.
Hesitantly, he opened his arms again, and she gratefully fell into them, settling in his lap with her face resting in the crook of his neck. He hugged her tight, and yet she felt as if she could breathe more freely now.
“What do you think they’re like?” She heard him ask as he resumed stroking her hair.
She merely pressed herself closer to him and sighed. “As long as they’re happy, healthy, and taking care of each other, it doesn’t matter to me. Well, unless they’ve joined the White Lotus or willingly went to work for her hypoallergenic majesty Queen Hou-Ting. Then we’re gonna have to have a little chat once we get them back.”
She forgot how much she missed his obnoxious, booming laughter.
Just as he stopped guffawing, a distant clock tower in the centre of Republic City struck twelve. Ming-Hua lifted her head, the corners of her mouth twitching upwards as Ghazan kissed her right temple. A low, warm whisper escaped her lips.
“Happy birthday, our little Seedling.”