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Naminé knows what’s bothering her. It’s not something she needs to reflect upon. The worry that stirs in her chest comes to her easily. She’s afraid of being forgotten. What she wishes for the most is to be treasured by someone, to be wanted. It’s something she can’t quite vocalize, but she feels it in the tips of her fingers. It festers in her stomach. It sits behind her eyes, never quite reaching the surface.
In the presence of greatness, among heroes and immortal beings, Naminé has no right to want for anything, much less impose those wants onto other people. In this time of peace, they’re all chasing their own needs and goals they'd set aside before. One would think Naminé would do the same, but it’s not her place. She watches them frolic around, words coming easily to them because of past experiences.
Naminé fits herself in the corner and watches, pretending to be busy as she colors in her sketchbook, but internally, she cries out for interaction, for genuine want and friendship. It’s pulled back tightly, never allowed to make itself known to anyone but her.
Her powers likely have something to do with it. Naminé can’t wield a keyblade, and her magic is unlike anything they can replicate. She is an outlier in their gang of heroes, cursed with a unique power that she will never use again.
Even now, she refuses to draw memories. She draws wishes. She’s unable to stop herself from expressing her feelings in some way, and so she is in no way surprised to find her sketchbook filled with places she wants to go, worlds she wants to visit that she’s caught glimpses of in his memories and in the memories of those close to him.
Naminé wants to touch the stars in Neverland. She wants to explore the deep in Atlantica. She wants to see the fireworks in the Land of Dragons. And she wants company on her journey to these destinations. She wants someone who genuinely wants to be with her, not out of obligation or pity, but out of curiosity, out of love, out of wonder.
She wants the friendship he speaks of, that they all believe in, but she’s afraid to start here, in this place filled with hardships, some of which she has caused. It would be selfish and wrong for her to begin here, but when she thinks of befriending those that know not of her powers and the circumstances of her birth, she freezes.
Naminé flips the page of her sketchbook and grabs her violet colored pencil. She imagines flying on a magic carpet above desert dunes. She imagines jewels larger than her hand.
The wind blows her hair gently and rustles the edge of the paper she’s drawing on. When she lifts her head and casts her gaze out to the center square of Radiant Garden, she watches with a somber expression as keyblade wielders walk about, catching up and showing off their latest skills. Everyone is gathered here in the nice spring breeze, and Naminé is sat against the stone wall a good distance away.
She turns her attention back to Agrabah skies. What would it feel like to ride on a magic carpet? To touch the sky? To have the wind blowing through her hair? To enjoy something? To embrace freedom at its most?
“Is that Agrabah?”
Naminé jolts and clutches her sketchbook to her chest. She looks up to find Kairi staring at her.
Kairi immediately stands straight. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”
Naminé calms herself. She’d been so engrossed in worlds she may never get to see that she didn’t notice anyone approaching. That’s not something she’s well versed in anyway, those...senses and instincts that come with being a keyblade wielder. “It’s okay,” Naminé says slowly, lowering her sketchbook back down into her lap. “It… It is Agrabah.” She pauses, looking up at Kairi curiously. It’s been a while since Naminé has looked, but she doesn’t remember Kairi herself ever visiting that world. “But how do you…?”
Kairi smiles. “I remember from the time I was in Sora’s heart.” She smooths down her skirt and takes a seat beside Naminé on the flat stone. She sits with her knees bent and rests her arms atop them. “It’s hazy, but I remember some parts of his journey.”
Naminé blinks slowly before nodding. It’s the same situation as Ventus…and Roxas, to an extent. Sora’s emotions are so vividly infectious that they leave impressions upon the other hearts held within his. Those impressions create connections that make tracing the chains between them that much easier. In Kairi’s case, those memories must be truly foggy for Naminé to not know of them.
“Interesting…” she mutters, lost in thought. It doesn’t cross her mind that, because Kairi sat down next to her, she’s interested in having a conversation. At least, it doesn’t come to her immediately. When it comes to the complexities of Sora’s heart, Naminé’s thoughts take hold of her and one quickly leads to another, which sends her down a spiral of examination and understanding.
But Kairi speaks up once more. “Do you want to go there? To Agrabah, I mean.”
Naminé holds tight to the colored pencil in her hand. She looks down at her drawing so far. The sky is a lovely dark violet, mixed with black so that the stars in the sky are lit and beautiful, a map in the night sky. “Yes,” she whispers, her index and middle finger touching that sky delicately. “I would like to.”
“Me too!” Kairi agrees. She’s still smiling when Naminé looks up at her, her bangs falling in front of her eyes. “It’s on my list of worlds to see. I really want to see this place called The Caribbean. Sora told me about it.”
Naminé remembers that world, and she remembers every single one that Sora has ever been to. And while the conversation is nice, Naminé wonders… Why is it that Kairi is sitting here with her? A quick glance toward the flower garden reveals that all of the other keyblade wielders are still there, and yet… Kairi is here instead.
A part of Naminé tells her that she should be thankful for the consideration. It’s not every day that people deign to sit next to her, much less strike up a conversation. They’re always so busy, and Naminé is no longer useful. There’s not much for her to relate to them about. They have traveled the stars. They’ve bathed in the depths of the ocean in-between and seen galaxies that Naminé can only dream of.
“…Naminé?”
She refocuses on Kairi, who has scooted closer to her in the time Naminé’s mind was wandering. “I-I’m sorry, what did you say?”
Kairi doesn’t seem bothered. “I asked if you’d want to go with me.”
“…Where?”
“To Agrabah!” Kairi answers, full of life despite everything. As the most inexperienced of the keyblade wielders, Naminé imagines she’s under a lot of pressure, but she’s here, smiling, instead of letting it get to her. And now she wants to take Naminé to Agrabah.
Naminé shakes her head, a refusal on the tip of her tongue. “I—You’re too busy to—“
“The two of us have never really gotten a chance of our own,” Kairi interrupts. Her smile looks sad now, and her eyes are downcast to look at Naminé’s sketchbook and the shimmering dunes. “I thought…we could go see worlds together.”
Naminé’s gut twists with indecision. When presented with this opportunity, it looks as if it’s everything she’s wanted. It’s the very thing she’s been wishing for, but is Kairi serious about this offer? Naminé’s afraid to get her hopes up. She’s afraid to care. She’s afraid that if she trusts in this, Kairi will turn her away, that she’ll forget about her and that their time together will be as fickle as the time Naminé’s spent with others.
Just moments she’s granted. Days, minutes, seconds.
“I don’t…want you to offer just because you feel sorry for me,” Naminé mumbles. She closes her sketchbook to loosen the captivation the drawing has on her.
Kairi looks crestfallen at Naminé’s words, but it’s what she truly feels. A girl sitting far removed from everyone else as they talk and have fun. Of course such a sad picture would inspire pity. It’s a look she knows well, one that she’s received so often in her life. And in the end, always in the end, Naminé is left alone.
A hand touches her own, warm fingertips against her lithe ones. Naminé looks down to see their hands touching as they rest on top of her sketchbook. And how long has it been since Naminé’s touched anyone else? How long has it been since she’s held a hand or been given a hug? Not since Sora returned, she thinks.
“I’m not doing this out of pity,” Kairi tells her, looking at Naminé with furrowed brows. The indigo of her eyes reminds Naminé of Sora in their determination. That emotion, that resoluteness, it resides deep in the heart of every wielder Naminé has met. “I’m doing this because it’s what we both deserve.”
Naminé blinks. “Wh-what?”
Kairi shakes her head and takes a moment to get her words together, a moment that Naminé greatly gives her, because Kairi’s previous statement is still ringing in Naminé’s ears. Her heart is beating madly and her gaze flicks between Kairi’s expression and their hands. It’s nearly to the point of overwhelming, but Naminé’s sense of wonder propels her forward. She wants to understand and a part of her, that same part not dedicated to protecting herself, wants to believe.
“Naminé, you’ve done so much for so many,” Kairi says, squeezing Naminé’s hand now, looking at her with insistence. “I think…you should get whatever you wish.”
Whatever she wishes? There isn’t much that Naminé wants. But is it wise to wish? Is it wise to hope, when Naminé’s failings and her feelings have been pushed to the side so many, many times before?
Should she allow herself this bit of indulgence even if it may lead to heartbreak later on?
Naminé hesitates. “I can’t fight. I’d only be a hindrance.”
“You’re not a hindrance,” Kairi states. She squeezes Naminé’s hand again. “I’ll handle the fighting. I’ve gotten much better, you should see me!”
Naminé sucks in a breath and holds it, those words getting to her with the firmness in Kairi’s stare. It’s such a hard thing to believe given what she’s been told since her birth. It’s difficult to trust in that.
But…that’s not Kairi’s fault.
“Do you really want to travel with me?” Naminé whispers.
Kairi’s smile turns gentle. “We could get to know one another more. It would be fun, don’t you think?”
Naminé chokes back a sob as she returns Kairi’s grip on her hand. She squeezes and hopes and prays and wishes with her entire heart that this time will be different.
“I do.”
Kairi smiles and her eyes glow, lightening them to an almost blue. She moves in close next to Naminé but keeps their hands connected. “Nice! So, Agrabah first, and then where? Ooh, have you ever wondered what you’d look like as a mermaid?”
Naminé listens to Kairi ramble about their upcoming spontaneous journey that has now grown to encompass many worlds. Naminé’s bottom lip quivers, tears in the corner of her eye as she keeps her head bowed. It’s cathartic, in a way, that the one who held her heart for so long would be the first to show her the stars. They both need this, don’t they? An adventure of their own, a chance to carve their own path, to learn and experience things for themselves and not through memories.
Naminé should’ve known that her first connection would never, ever leave her.