Work Text:
Spring
"Lucien, dear?"
The small, bright-eyed boy looked up at his father, mildly unsettled by the interruption to his reading time. "Yes, Pa?"
Davidicus carefully sat, cross-legged, on the floor beside his son. "You know you sometimes ask Ma and me for a baby brother or sister?" He nodded, and tilted his head curiously. "Well… how would you feel about an older brother, instead?"
Lucien thought for a while, staring around at his playroom, which was full of wonderful games and nobody to play them with, because grown-ups just weren't quite right somehow. "That's not how it works, though? You get babies, not bigger boys..?" He was… pretty sure that was how it worked, at least.
"Well, that's often the way of things, yes. But sometimes, well, sometimes children don't have a family of their own, or… Or their family can't take proper care of them. And sometimes, families can't have children of their own, or can't have as many as they'd like… Well, sometimes, a child without a family can be welcomed into a family with more than enough love to go around, you see?"
Lucien considered that. Picked up the thought, turned it around, looked at it, and nodded, satisfied. "That makes sense, Pa! Is that what we're going to do?"
Davidicus nodded. "As long as you'd be happy with it, son. Once we've made the decision, he'll be here for good, just as much a part of the family as you and I."
"All right. I'd like a brother, and a big brother sounds more fun than a baby, really!"
His father gave him a smile, but his eyes looked a little sad. "I hope so, but… Well, he's had a hard time, so sometimes he might not feel like being fun, just like Ma sometimes doesn't, only he's only a boy, so he might… find it a bit harder? You're a very caring boy, Lucien, do you think you could manage that?"
Lucien thought some more. "I think so. When is he coming?"
***
A few days later, the new brother arrived. Lucien was very impressed to realise that he was not much shorter than Pa, even though he was only ten years old. He held out a hand and beamed up at the very serious face. "I'm Lucien, pleased to meet you!"
The older boy stared at his hand for a moment, and nodded. "Kaidan." Lucien let his hand fall awkwardly to his side, but kept beaming and started heading towards the playroom.
"That's an unusual name! Where are you from? Ma and Pa just said it was 'complicated'?"
Kaidan shrugged and followed, to Lucien's relief. "Dunno. Around? Skyrim, to start with, I think. Not a Nord, though…" Lucien looked over his shoulder at the boy's dark hair and red eyes, and grinned.
"Well, nor am I, so we've got that in common!" Kaidan's face screwed up a bit, as though he couldn't work out if Lucien were serious. That didn't phase him, though, he got that look a lot. "Well, anyway, this is the playroom. That shelf over there has my favourite things, that shelf is for you to put your favourite things, and everything else is fair game!" He pointed out the right shelves, and beamed up at his new brother again.
"Erm, right. Don't really have no favourite things, though? Well, 'cept my sword and hunting knife, I s'pose?"
Lucien flustered a bit. "Oh! That's… Those probably aren't allowed in here?" He looked uncertainly around the room, then turned back to Kaidan, his eyes filling with wonder as he properly processed the notion. "You have a sword..?"
Kaidan scowled a bit. "Aye. Didn't live in a nice big 'ouse like this one, you know? Got to… Be useful, when you live like me and…" His face did something very complicated, like Ma's sometimes did, and Lucien reached out to pat his arm, like Pa sometimes did, but stopped short. "Anyway, no point in telling it. Don't matter now…"
"Well, if there's anything here you'd like on your shelf, and it's not already on mine, you can put it there, if you like?" Kaidan shrugged and looked around, his eyes pausing briefly on a stuffed tiger before he made a small, cross noise and turned back to Lucien.
"Dunno, never had toys, not fussed." Lucien nodded and decided to just take his new brother's hand, this time. He was a little surprised that it was so easy, actually, the big, warm hand wrapping around his without any protest as he began to lead the way to the bedroom that he had help prepare for Kaidan.
Pushing open the door, he grinned to himself as the bigger boy stepped inside.
"What's this?" Kaidan looked around, his eyes narrowed.
"It's your room!" His grin faltered as he watched the bigger boy's face go from solemn to frightened for a moment, before he got it under control. "Don't you like it? We can change things!"
Kaidan shrugged. "'S fine. Never had a room. 'Spect this is a nice one." He glanced around and shrugged again.
"All right…" Lucien wasn't really sure what to say next, so he did what came most naturally to him, and picked up a book from the case which was packed with books full of stories and interesting information. "I thought you might like these? Oh… you… *Can* read, can't you?"
Kaidan glared at him. "Course I can bloody read!" He looked doubtful. "A bit. Don't exactly get the opportunity to sit around and read Olaf and the bloody Dragon though…"
Lucien gave him his best sympathetic look. "Well, you will now, if you like? And I can help, if there's any words you're not sure about! Ma and Pa say I'm precocious," he beamed. Kaidan frowned.
"Aye, maybe… Look, it's very nice of your family to give me a room an' that, but…"
Lucien frowned back. "Our family, Kaidan. This is your home, now. Or… don't you want it to be..?" Oh, dear. He had been so excited to have a new brother, but maybe..?
Kaidan looked at him seriously for a moment, then sighed. "Never mind it, Lucien. Just... might take me a while, yeah? Never even lived in a normal house, before, only stayed in them sometimes. This place is… A lot."
Lucien looked around and nodded. "I suppose so? It's all I've ever known, really!" He thought a bit, turning the pages of the book to give his hands something to do. "Would you um. Tell me about where you lived before? So I can understand a bit?"
Kaidan gave him a suspicious look, but nodded and sat on the floor, his back straight in a way Lucien couldn't quite seem to match, though he tried as he moved to sit opposite Kaidan. "D'you know the word 'nomadic'?"
Lucien nodded and began to reel off a definition, but Kaidan gave him a look and he stopped.
"Right, well, suppose that's the word for it. Never stopped in one place long, never had a home. Been to all different bits of Tamriel, though we mostly would go back to Skyrim if there weren't owt better to do…" he sighed and folded his hands in his lap. "Me and… Brynjar, my… Guardian. Slept under the stars, most nights. Or sometimes in taverns. More often in taverns, lately…" His expression changed, and Lucien remembered a phrase that had never quite made sense in his books before - 'their face darkened'.
"Gosh…"
"Anyway. You probably want to hear about the exciting stuff, getting my first sword, helping Brynjar with bounties, all that stuff that little boys with houses and mums and dads always want to hear about..?"
Lucien looked at him and thought. "I mean… That stuff sounds exciting, in stories, but… I think in real life it just sounds… scary, and hard..?"
"Never really had the luxury of bein' scared, Lucien. Just had to get on with it…" His face softened a bit, though. "But, aye, you've the right of it. Definitely not much like in stories."
***
Lucien woke up and stretched. He was very excited about having the whole day with his new brother, he thought, and swung his feet off the bed. Huh. That was strange. There was something on the floor. He looked down.
"Kaidan..?" The other boy woke with a start, his face turning red.
"Couldn't sleep. Never been in a bedroom on me own before." He immediately started gathering up the blanket he'd brought with him, muttering under his breath as he did so, and got up to leave.
"You could have woken me, I wouldn't have minded." Kaidan turned to look at him.
"Just… forget it, yeah, Lucien?" Lucien nodded, and Kaidan turned away again and left the room.
Lucien stared at the closed door for a while, unsure what he should do. Eventually, he got up, got dressed, and headed to the playroom. No Kaidan. Making a small, worried noise, he carried on to the stairs and down to the dining room for breakfast.
He was very relieved when Kaidan showed up halfway through breakfast, though he worried more when his new brother just sat quietly and ate some toasted bread with only a little butter. Ma and Pa seemed to think it was best to let him, though, so Lucien didn't say anything.
***
"Leave it, Lucien…"
Kaidan had been living with them for a week, now, and every morning, Lucien had woken to the sound of him quietly slipping out of the room.
"But I'm just saying, if you want to share a room, I'm sure Ma and Pa would be happy to move the bed!"
Kaidan glared at the wall, sitting cross-legged and straight-backed in the middle of the playroom. "Don't want to share a room, Lucien, it's just… I'm getting used to it. Okay? Just. Leave it…" His eyes glanced over the stuffed tiger again, and he frowned more, picking at a thread on his breeches. "All this lot, it's… Too much for me. Umpteen types of bloody breakfast, all them clothes your mum and dad bought me…"
"Our parents bought you them, because everyone needs clothes. But if you'd prefer something else, I'm sure they'll happily take you shopping!"
Kaidan made an exasperated noise - one of Lucien's favourite new words, but not so nice to hear - and closed his eyes, speaking slowly. "I don't want a fuss. Everyone's being Ever So Nice," he imitated Lucien's own way of speaking for a moment, then returned to his usual soft-yet-rough speech patterns. "And I want to… To be good, and fit in, but I'm… I'm not like you lot." He opened his eyes to stare at his feet, and kept picking at the thread.
"Well… I don't think we're asking you to be?"
Kaidan sighed, and shrugged. "Just, let's leave it, yeah? Show me that game you were on about at breakfast?"
Lucien took a slow breath, and nodded, getting up to fetch the pieces and explain the rules.
***
Summer
Lucien looked around him in panic. He and Kaidan had gone to the Market District with a shopping list for the Housekeeper, and they had been talking as they usually did, which was to say, Lucien rambled away about something he'd read, and Kaidan occasionally made a small noise of agreement, or dissent. But after Lucien finished explaining a particularly exciting piece of Dwemer technology which was described in his new book, Kaidan had been silent.
Because he wasn't there.
Lucien's hands scrunched up into fists as he tried to stay calm, his eyes filling with tears as he felt his thumbs start to hurt from his fingers being wrapped so tightly around them.
"Got to keep your thumbs outside a fist, Lucien. If you throw a punch like that, you'll hurt yourself."
He spun around, dizzy from the motion as well as the relief that his big brother was back. "Where did you go?"
Kaidan wouldn't say anything, and as Lucien stared up at him, he saw a bruise starting to form around his eye, and a trickle of red from his nose.
"You're bleeding..?" He scrabbled through the small pack he carried with him, and held out a pink vial. Kaidan raised an eyebrow down at it. "Don't look at it like that, it's just a healing potion! Come on, you've got to look after yourself…"
Sighing, Kaidan nodded and took the vial between thumb and forefinger and swallowed the contents, making a face, even as the bruise around his eye began to calm down. "Don't tell your mum and dad, yeah..?" His eyes were pleading, and Lucien looked back at him with concern.
"Our, Kaidan, but what happened?"
A hand went up and rubbed the back of his neck. "There were a couple of lads. They were whispering, about you. Said…" He glanced around, looked sheepishly back at Lucien. "Said you were a little… twerp, and easy pickings… Suppose they hadn't noticed me, or didn't realise I were with you." Kaidan had, in the end, been found some clothes that were more to his liking - simple, dark breeches and tunics, rather than the soft, embroidered outfits Lucien and his Pa preferred. He shrugged. "Taught 'em not to mess with my… with you."
Lucien beamed up at his brother, and decided not to mention the slip, though he held it close to his heart. "Well, thank you! Come on, if we get the things on the list quickly, we'll have time for a stop in First Edition, and Slash 'n' Smash!"
***
Autumn
Lucien was, as always, the first into the playroom. He sat down by the regiments of toy soldiers they had been setting up the evening before, when he noticed something was different in the room. It took a while of looking around before he saw what it was - the stuffed tiger had a new home, on Kaidan's shelf. Smiling to himself, he went back to his pile of soldiers and began sorting through them, making sure each battered or bent soldier had a group of intact comrades to keep them safe.
"Morning, Lucien. Sleep well?"
Kaidan still slipped into and out of Lucien's room some nights, though these days, he was more likely to show up while Lucien was still awake and chat for a while before they both fell asleep. Other nights, he seemed to get on all right with sleeping in his own room. Last night had been the latter kind.
"Like a baby! Or a log! Oh! A baby log! Yes, like that!"
Kaidan gave a small chuckle, and sat down by his own pile of soldiers. "Glad to hear it…"
"So, your turn to be the Glorious Legion, yes? I'll be the Wicked Dominion Forces…" It certainly wasn't Lucien's preferred side, but he did at least get to practice going 'mua-ha-ha!' and so on. Kaidan nodded, and picked up a soldier, turning it over in his hands.
"Your…" He paused. "Mum, was in the war, weren't she..?"
Lucien smiled down at his pile of soldiers before looking up, his face more serious.
"She was. She was very brave, and kept the Emperor alive. Was… Was your guardian..?"
Another nod. "Aye. I think that's why he… Why he were like he were. Too much in his head, sometimes. I'm glad your… I'm glad Mum has Dad, and you…"
"And both of us, Kaidan. I'm very sorry for… For whatever happened, and when we're both a bit older, I'll be more than happy if you want to talk about it? But you're a Flavius, now, and you're stuck with us!"
He caught the slightest smile on his big brother's face as he set the soldier down at the head of the regiment. "Aye, suppose I am. Well, let's see how Captain Lyra and her lads do, yeah?"
***
Winter
"Kaidan! It's snowing!" They were staying in the Jerall Inn, a very nice tavern in Bruma, a city in the North of Cyrodiil, while Davidicus was in the city meeting with a group of fellow academics. Lucien was standing by the window of the room the two boys were sharing, his eyes wide as he pulled on his boots.
Kaidan glanced out of the window, then looked back at his book. "I can see that, Lucien…"
"But it's exciting!"
Kaidan made a grumbling noise. "We're in Bruma. It's always bloody snowing."
Lucien beamed and held out Kaidan's own boots. "I know! Isn't it great?!"
Kaidan rolled his eyes and set down his book beside the tiger on the bed. "Every day, I understand you less and less…"
Lucien grinned as his brother began to pull on his boots and look around for his cloak. "And, you love me more and more!"