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“Louis! What the fuck?!” Harry’s voice carries through the bathroom curtain. Louis rolls his eyes at the sound of his exasperated voice, knowing just how Harry looks with his face contorting with his annoyance. He chooses not to respond and focuses on washing up, the same as anyone in the shower.
“I know you can hear me,” Harry continues, his tone showing just how upset he is, but Louis is stubborn and still won’t say a word. “You’ve exceeded the shower limits. Ten minutes, that’s it.”
Louis knows full well what Harry will be griping about this time, but he’s annoyed and irritated, as he always is lately. Harry’s focus on recycling and saving the world have taken over their home. There are the stipulations that go along with it, which are beyond frustrating when there’s no room for error.
There’s always something he’s not doing as Harry wants, and Louis knows that it’s important to Harry. He tries. He really does, but at times, it’s too much. Louis’ use of disposable water bottles is the latest battle, but it’s one of so many. He remembers clearly what it was like when things weren’t so awful with them. Hell, they still had sex then, but right now, he can’t even remember the last time they slept in the same bed or shared a shower together.
He turns off the shower and climbs out, grabbing a towel and rubbing it roughly over his face as he feels Harry’s glare from his side. He’s waiting for a response for Louis’ thirty-minute shower, but there is none. There’s almost no point anymore because no matter what Louis does, it’s wrong. He lowers the towel and looks at him, his stomach sinking with how little he knows this man now, but shrugs anyway, feeling defiant.
“What?” Louis asks nonchalantly, as though nothing is wrong. Harry scoffs and throws his hands in the air before storming out of the bathroom. Louis closes his eyes and sighs heavily, frustrated that he can’t even have a proper bath without getting the attitude.
After he dresses for the morning, Louis enters their kitchen but frowns when Harry’s not to be seen. There’s no note on the fridge, and he begins to wander but finds he’s not anywhere. A glance out the window tells him that his car is definitely gone.
Harry’s left without saying goodbye, and the guilt creeps in, knowing it’s his fault this time. He realizes he’s pushing Harry too far, and it hurts because they’ll never talk of this. Like all the other arguments, it’ll be brushed away, as though it never existed at all.
Louis stares for a long time, lost in the finality of it all. They’ve been falling apart for months, but it’s only recently that he noticed how different they now are. Harry’s hell-bent on saving the planet, something Louis only cares a little about. He thinks he’s always supported the other until it became too much. So many rules and guidelines, and it’s the worst week for Louis to become defiant due to the Earth Day party the following day.
By dinnertime, Harry still hasn’t returned, and Louis truly begins to worry. Maybe he’s actually pushed him off the deep end this time, and he’s not coming back. More guilt seeps into his pores, and Louis sits on the couch, rubbing his hands roughly over his face in frustration. He’s never done this to Harry, purposely riled him up and got him going, but he does now, his only retaliation to Harry’s behavior.
He stares at the wall, wanting to go out and search for him, but he’s saddened when he realizes he doesn’t even know where Harry will go. He doesn’t know the names of his earth freak friends or the stores he frequents, now that he’s all organic. Louis’ chest tightens uncomfortably, and a part of him wants to cry, just for the fact that he doesn’t know what to do.
The door suddenly opens, and Louis is up on his feet in an instant, unable to hide the worry and concern from his features. But Harry is whistling and jovial, his hands filled with bags, most likely for the party the following evening. Louis stares in surprise, and Harry’s smile falls when he meets his gaze.
“What’s wrong?” Harry asks, his tone conveying that he’s genuinely concerned, which pisses Louis off even more.
“Nothing,” he says simply because it’s easier than talking. He walks from the room and into their spare, knowing there’s a game to play to distract himself. It’s another twenty minutes before he realizes that Harry never followed him. With that thought, he’s no longer interested in the game.
Louis falls asleep in the chair, lost in pouting and not talking to Harry about how he feels regarding things. He wakes with a start, and a glance at his phone indicates that it’s well after one o’clock in the morning. Louis sighs and walks towards the bedroom, but a light in the living room stops him. Harry’s fallen asleep on the sofa again.
He walks into the room and is surprised to see that Harry’s still awake. He’s up and decorating for the party. When Harry looks at Louis, scowling dramatically, and it causes him to falter. He doesn’t know what to say to him just then. Louis swallows and walks towards Harry, who immediately walks away from him and into the kitchen.
“Decided to finally help then,” Harry says sharply. Louis sucks in a breath, trying to hide the rising anger and undeniable hurt he feels. Harry turns though and points at Louis, his eyes filled with fury, enough for Louis to know it’s his fault. But the reason is different than expected. “You know how important this is to me. And instead of helping, you take a nap. How is that being a supportive boyfriend?”
“Supportive,” Louis repeats and shakes his head, scoffing loudly at Harry. Suddenly it’s as though everything is too much. He can’t hold it back anymore and speaks without thinking, words cruel, “You’re barely my boyfriend anymore, so don’t throw that in my face.”
“What?!” Harry exclaims, his face fills with surprise, “What the fuck does that mean? Of course, I am! But you could just do what I ask for once, and everything would be fine!”
“No! I’m so sick of following your rules and getting yelled at every time I do a single thing wrong!” Louis yells back, his hands curling into fists at his side. Without meaning to, he slams one hand down against the table, the sound echoing above the thunder of his voice. “I’m fucking sick of you.”
“Lou,” Harry speaks softly. The word is barely there, and Louis can hear it, yet he can’t. His frustrations and anger are there, and he can’t stop it from yelling more.
“You care more about saving the world than you do about me,” Louis rants, throwing his hands up in the air, “This hasn’t been a real relationship in ages. And you should know it.”
“I—Louis,” Harry says softly. Louis shakes his head, backing away when Harry tries to come close.
“I love you, but I’m over this,” Louis says, waving his hands around the room. “I just—I can’t even look at you right now.”
Tears fill Harry’s eyes, and Louis can’t comfort him, too lost in it all. He walks towards Louis again, his movements slow and hesitant. This time Louis lets him, but he doesn’t return the hug that’s given. It’s too late for that, too late for them. Harry can save the world, but he can’t save this relationship with a hug.
Louis backs away after a minute, calming down but still so out of sorts, knowing he’s meant everything he said. Harry tries to reach for him again, but he shakes his head, knowing he’s difficult, but he can’t help it. Being in second place for so long has him unable to accept any promise Harry’s about to make.
“I think,” he says after a long moment of silence, glancing towards Harry, “I think I’m going to stay somewhere else for a few days.”
“What? No, Lou, no,” Harry whispers, coming towards him. Louis moves away, falling back into the couch, but then Harry is there, climbing into his lap. “Please, please. Don’t do this.”
“I’m not sorry for what I said,” Louis whispers in response, closing his eyes to the feel of Harry’s lips along his jaw and then his throat. “I meant every word,” he continues, trying to convey that this isn’t going to fix anything.
“I know,” Harry says against his skin, licking and kissing in a way that Louis loves, something he hasn’t felt in so long. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too,” Louis says quickly, hands moving Harry away from his neck and off his lap. The wounded look Harry has is painful, but Louis can’t get into this, not now.
He stands up, and after a moment of meeting Harry’s gaze, he walks from the room into the bedroom. Louis finds a bag from the closet and, of course, it’s got a quote about saving the world. He rolls his eyes and begins to put a day’s worth of clothes in there, knowing he can’t be around for the party.
“I’ll cancel the party,” Harry suddenly speaks from behind him. His voice is thick, as though he’s been crying, but Louis doesn’t turn or stop what he’s doing. “I’ll stop. I will.”
“Me leaving is what it takes for you to see how insane you’ve been,” Louis mumbles, and he feels Harry come close, but he doesn’t touch Louis.
“Yeah,” Harry confirms with a nod. Louis sighs and sits at the edge of the bed, bag packed but not zipped.
“I think I need some space,” Louis says quietly, glancing towards the other, “I’m not happy, Harry. And even you canceling the party doesn’t make me feel any better. What does that mean?”
“I don’t know,” he responds in a weak voice. Louis had always known how to heal Harry’s hurt, but he’s never been the one to cause it before, not like this.
“I’m done being tossed aside,” Louis says after a long while, “And that’s how I feel. I’m there, but you barely notice me unless it’s to yell about something I’ve done.”
“I’ll do better?” Harry asks, but Louis shakes his head, “Please, Lou. Don’t leave.”
“I’ve texted Zayn. I’ll be there for a few days until I figure out what I’m going to do after,” Louis says in a tired voice. He stands up and begins to zip up the bag, struggling with it for a moment before it goes the way he wants. Harry’s full-on sobbing, but Louis can’t comfort him in the way he needs. It isn’t his job anymore.
“Please,” Harry pleads with him. Louis shakes his head, staring down at the first items he’s packed, and for some reason, he knows it’s not the last. There’s such a finality at that moment, and he can’t stop it.
Louis leaves Harry crying in the bedroom, sure he’s doing what’s best for himself. It’s not until he’s outside that he allows his emotions to fall over, and the tears begin to fill his eyes. Louis glances back to the windows of their home and realizes he doesn’t have an urge to go back inside. It makes him sad and disgusted with himself.
By the time he reaches his car, Louis is reduced to more tears, unable to stop them. He’s always loved Harry for his obsessions but never thought that saving the world would lead to his and Harry’s end. As he sits, he finally feels it, the urge to go back and fix it.
Still, Louis starts the drive, but he goes slow, knowing full well if he receives a single call, he’ll turn around. But the call never comes, and when he arrives at Zayn’s home, he leaves the phone in his seat. He walks inside, leaving behind the relationship and man he still loves with his whole heart.