Chapter Text
He had heard it a million times growing up: what is hidden must be revealed.
Of course, he never believed it. Everyone had their secrets - the women they met deep in the night, their wives none the wiser; the poker games their money went to instead of feeding their children; the bodies they piled behind them to claw their way to prominence. People went their entire lives with their true selves hidden right beneath the surface, so why would he be any different?
Perhaps it was foolishness or pride that made him believe so, as he was often as slippery as his name suggested - Kolzak. His mother would shake her head, as fond as she was exasperated, as she wondered why she had chosen to give her only son such a name, a name that frequently brought trouble. But, as much trouble as his name brought, it could not be argued that it did not fit, for he was as adept at getting out of it as he was at attracting it.
It was this cunningness, this devious nature that made him too relaxed and compliant with his secret, believing it to be set in stone that none who he did not tell would find out. But, sayings do have truth in them - everything hidden must come to light, and the bigger the secret, the larger the calamity that ensued afterward. And his secret was larger and more important than most, although he did not know it yet.
He was Grisha.
Kolzak sat outside his tent, sketching absentmindedly in a notebook he had managed to procure from the cartographer's tent - not steal, he reasoned, just...borrowed indefinitely. Of course, he was not a cartographer himself - while he enjoyed sketching, he was nowhere as skilled an artist as Alina. No, he was a rifleman in the First Army, and a damn good one if he said so himself, although he wasn’t sure how much of it was skill and how much came from his...abilities, he would call them.
He was Grisha - had known since he was a young boy, but had managed to avoid being tested by hiding when they came to Keramzin, protected by his mother. She knew what happened to Grisha in Ravka - they would be taken to the Little Palace, and while they would have every material object their hearts desired, they would not have the thing that mattered the most - a loving childhood. Instead, they would grow up soldiers, cold and hard and unyielding. And Kolzak’s mother did not want that for her only son, the only memory she had left of her late husband, and so she taught him to be as slippery as his name suggested and outwit the testers every year until he was old enough that everyone assumed he was tested.
However, his mother also had heard rumors that Grisha who did not use their powers would waste away, eaten by the power inside them that was not allowed to be set free. So, although she was not Grisha herself, she taught her son how to use his powers in small ways - adding to a breeze on a windy day, shutting doors when he was alone, helping leaves to fall from trees in the autumn. She encouraged him to use it daily, even in public, but in ways so small and unnoticeable that no one thought it strange. However, there was one skill she warned him never to use around others, not only for its danger but for its uniqueness: he could never allow anyone to see him summon lightning.
Everything he had read suggested that summoning lightning was impossible, even for a squaller like him - squallers controlled air pressure to create winds and storms, the idea of creating lightning was unthinkable. And yet, there were nights when Kolzak would sit in his room, a blanket pulled over his head, and would watch as the electricity sparked between his palms with wonder and fear. As he got older, he could even shape it, creating small balls of light or even shapes.
Despite his mother’s warnings to never share his powers with anyone, he did tell his two childhood best friends, Alina and Mal. He met them one day, in a field by the orphanage, when he was adding to the breeze whipping the flowers and grass back and forth. He didn’t share his secret until later, of course, but their mutual feelings of not belonging bonded them together and they became a trio, protecting each other from whatever dangers they encountered, real or perceived. When the time came, they all enrolled in the First Army, hopeful that they would be assigned together.
“Kol!” Speak of the devil, he thought, and looked up to see Mal and Alina walking towards him, Mal’s arm around Alina’s shoulders. He smiled and shook his head fondly - honestly, the fact that the two of them weren’t together at this point was just sad. He put down his sketchbook just before Alina launched herself at him, laughing. He joined in, spinning her around before dropping her safely on the ground in front of him and next to Mal, who had finally caught up.
“Alina! When did you get in?” Kol asked.
“Just a little while ago - I found Mal first and we decided to come look for you,” she explained, swaying into Mal with a devious grin.
“Well thank god - I was here with this one for two months without you, Alina! I thought I might feed myself to the Fold before you got here!” Kolzak joked, laughing when Mal gave a friendly scowl and shoved him enough for him to stumble a bit.
“Oi, if any of us was stuck here with anyone, it was you! You know how many times I had to cover for him while he went and did his... nightly activities ?” Mal complained, wiggling his eyebrows at the end. Kol rolled his eyes - they always liked to make it seem like he was going out to meet someone for sex whenever he slipped off to stretch his abilities. It was annoying, but it also kept other people from prying too much, besides a few crude jokes, so they kept it up.
“Alright, alright, we were stuck here with each other - either way, I’m glad you’re here, Alina,” He said, smiling warmly at her. And it was true - it was...lonely, without her around. He had Mal, sure, but it always felt like a piece of them was missing when the three weren’t together. It’s not like Kolzak had any other friends, also - he was friendly with people, sure, and well-liked enough, but it was too risky to let anyone close in case they found out his “secret”. So, just like when they were children, it was just the three of them against the world.
“And for the foreseeable future, too - our units are together, going South through the mountains,” she said proudly, as if it were her arrival that had caused this pairing and not just random chance. Still, her excitement was contagious, and he couldn’t help the grin that spread over his face at the thought of being reunited with his two best friends. He swung an arm around each of their shoulders, ruffling their hair and sending a quick breeze through it to muss it up even more, before leading them further into the camp.
“Well, that’s a cause for celebration, I think!” He exclaimed, happy to be surrounded by friends and people he could trust again.
Kol stood next to Mal and Alina in the tent, full of other First Army soldiers, as they began what Mal liked to call the “nightmare lottery” - the announcement of who would be selected to travel through the Shadow Fold. It was well-known that anyone chosen had a losing chance of making it to the other side and even less of a chance of making it back in one piece. Still, Kol wasn’t too worried - the three of them were still relatively new recruits, and they usually chose more experienced and skilled soldiers to travel across the Fold. They hadn’t been chosen yet, at least, and that was a point in their favor.
He should’ve known better.
“Tracker: Malyen Oretsev!” The commander called out, and Kol’s back straightened, his mind going blank. He turned to see both Alina and Mal looking shocked, whispering something to each other, before he heard something else that took the remaining feeling from his body.
“Rifleman: Kolzak Solovev!”
It was the thing of nightmares, being chosen to go through the Fold. Now, not only was Mal chosen, but so was he. He slowly turned to face Mal and Alina once again and saw the fear and shock on both of their faces, expressions he was sure were mirrored on his.
He and Mal were headed into darkness and evil incarnate: the Shadow Fold.