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Kaname stirred in her sleep. Sighing, she pulled the covers from her face and blinked sleepily. Was someone there? Planting her feet on the ground, she yawned as she stood up, stepping over to grab her bat that she never kept far from her reach. Opening up her bedroom door, she paused, seeing a familiar form sitting at her kitchen table. She dropped the bat and walked over, rubbing the back of her head, "Sousuke."
"Kaname. I'm sorry I was gone for so long," he whispered hoarsely, looking up at her with regret.
She dug in the cabinets for a pair of glasses and filled them with water. Setting a glass down in front of him, she sat down in the seat beside him. Playing with her glass before drinking it, she squeezed her eyes shut. "I wish you wouldn't leave for so long. I'm so lonely without you," she murmured.
"I know," she felt a hand on her cheek, and she looked up with a sad smile.
Reaching her hand up to cover his, she leaned against his warm, surprisingly soft hand. "I get so lost. I worry and worry and I can't seem to do anything else."
"I know," he repeated, slowly drawing his hand away and taking hers with it. "I'm sorry."
"Don't, just, don't leave me again?" she whimpered.
His eyes were remorseful and he shook his head slowly, "You know I can't promise that."
Glaring down at her glass, she took another sip with a sigh. Changing topics, she looked at him and shook her head, "School has been interesting. I'm glad I chose a challenging major. I would be bored to tears if all my classes were math or science."
He smiled to her and nodded, "You're extremely intelligent and competitive. I'm glad you found something you enjoy."
"Thanks," she laughed shortly and began detailing the friends she had made since he had been gone. She talked about shopping, about the teasing her new friends gave her, about anything at all that came to mind until her voice was catching too much.
Standing up, Sousuke motioned her to her feet and she obeyed. Strong arms enveloped her and he kissed her on the forehead. "You need your sleep. Come on."
"Yeah," she followed him to her room, fell into bed, and back to sleep.
Waking up the next morning, she reached her arm out to find the bed empty. The open spot wasn't even warm. Typical. Frowning, she pulled herself out of bed and walked into the kitchen. On the table sat two glasses, one drained and one untouched. Plopping down in a chair opposite the cups, she stared at them for a long while. She dropped her head into her hands and felt her body shudder with a sob.
Again.
The one-sided conversation, the ghost feelings, the water, the water... Always untouched.
Body shaking, she could not help the tears that flowed down her cheeks or the strangled sobs. He hadn't been there. He was never there, not anymore. Not since that mission. That time, that phone call...
That funeral.
They buried an empty casket. She would never know what happened to him. No one did, just that there was no way he could have survived. That lack of closure, well, it did a number on her psyche. The conversations she had with the memory of him, they were all that allowed her to sleep some nights, but come the morning was another matter entirely.
Those mornings were the worst of tortures.