Chapter Text
Summer has come again. Warm air shook the trees in an entrancing lull that inspired tranquility.
Daichi shook off the entrancement of sleep and kept his eyes focused on the street ahead. The blue sky stretched in an endless expanse above and seemed to be moving forward, guiding all to one point ahead. All roads leading to home. The overhead was clear, not a cloud in sight. The forecast for the entire week would be...sunny.
Sunny. A pit grew in his stomach. He had chosen that name. His wife got to name their daughter and he got to name their son.
He was so happy when he heard their second child would be a boy. He loved his daughter with everything he had, but there was something special that could be shared between father and son.
He would get to watch him grow, teach him all the lessons his father taught him; have that special bond. He wondered what his son would grow to like and want to do. Maybe he’d go into sports, become an athlete. Or maybe business? He could start his own company and make a lot of money. Or maybe he’d follow where his sister seemed to be headed and go into music?
Whatever his son ended up doing, he would get to see him grow, become successful and start a family- and he’d be there to guide him. He was excited.
He remembers getting the call at work, rushing to the hospital, adrenaline pumping as anxious thoughts ran through his mind. What if he didn’t make it in time? What if something went wrong? What if? What if?
He was able to calm down, he’d done this before, after all. Everything was going to be okay. Their neighbors had been gracious enough to take Mrs. Kaneko to the hospital; they had two kids of their own, so surely they’d be able to handle it well. Everything was going to be okay. He would be able to hold his son soon.
Barging in just in time, he was able to join the hectic scene. All the chaos of birth broke loose with yelling and screaming and doctors and nurses dashing about. With triumphant work (and a few curses from Mrs. Kaneko) there he was-his son. Small and fragile, but glowing vibrantly. Suddenly, there was beeping. A cacophony of tools and shouts filled the room as doctors moved more frantically and he found himself being pushed out of the room. Something was wrong. Very wrong.
“He’s having trouble breathing.”
He remembered how those words crushed him. All his fears became reality. Everything else the nurse said became white noise. He wanted to burst in there and do something. But he couldn’t. He knew it was better left to the professionals. Minutes felt like hours as he dwelled in agonizing deliberation. Pacing back and forth, dread began eating away at him until the door finally opened and he braced himself.
“He’s breathing steadily now and shows no other signs of complications.”
The world was lifted from his shoulders and relief inundated him. He let out the most alleviating sigh in his life and walked in. His wife was laying in her bed, holding their son close and bawling over him. He hugged them both and heard through heavy sobs,
“He’s alive!”
Thank God. He looked down at the little newborn who had come so close to the grave. The baby’s face had an expression so peaceful it practically radiated comfort. Daichi knew exactly what his son’s name should be.
“Sunny”
Sunny was bright. Sunny had shone through the darkness and conquered death. Sunny was strong. Sunny was resilient. Sunny was the perfect son. Daichi knew he would do great things. He knew how wonderful of a child he had.
“Sunny, I love you.”
He knew the future was bright for all of them. But, things don’t always work out the way you believe they will. His mind slammed back to present as his eyes locked on to the oncoming sign.
Welcome to Faraway
It had been five years. Five years since he lost his daughter...and his son. Well, only one was actually physical.
There was nothing special about this particular day he had chosen to do what he was going to do. It was simply on a whim. He thought of her. How he hadn’t seen her grave since the funeral. He had to see her.
She was the light of his life. Kind, caring, hardworking, smart, independent and mature. His daughter. He was so, so proud. Always good grades. Always getting compliments from teachers. Always at the top of extracurricular activities. Always level headed. Even when the going got rough, she never gave up or cried or spaced out. She overcame it. Only Fifteen and she was already looking at college. Hours upon hours on the piano and through all that she still found time to help around the house and spend time with her brother.
But, more than all of that, she just gave him so much joy. Seeing her happy, it was the greatest feeling in the world. She had so much to offer. So much talent. So much promise. So much love. All ripped away in an instant. His heart sank.
Oh. He was at the church. To Daichi, the suburban sanctuary’s one pillar seemed to be much taller than it actually was, stabbing into the sky with a foreboding presence. The cross adorned at it’s crest bore down on him, searing him with guilt and dejection.
Once a place of solace and community, the church was now only adjacent to the sorrow of the past five years. It was a reminder, a symbol of all the anguish and solitude, all the regret and rage. The grave, her grave, lay beyond it’s pale gates.
He took a deep breath and began to push through the doors. The monotonous sound of the small town shifted to muffled noise as he entered the chamber, leaving him alone in the silence of the church. The pews were empty and the priest was nowhere to be found.
Daichi preferred it this way and began the slow walk to the graveyard out back. Halfway, he paused for a moment and took in the still air and vivid stained glass windows, the atmosphere was gilded with a restless density despite the sereneness of the nave.
His only reason for being here remained a mere few yards ahead-yet he subconsciously delayed his arrival as the present purgatory offered a distraction from the horror of acknowledgement. The acknowledgment of her death. The acknowledgement of his Son’s sin. The acknowledgement of his own cowardice.
After minutes of repose, he took a step to overcome that cowardice. And another. And another.
He passed by the Omori piano behind the pulpit, but took notice of its existence. Although, desperately trying to ignore the bittersweet memories it invoked.
He steps outside and is greeted by many rows of graves. He’s only been here once, but he knows the way. The summer breeze ceased, giving way to an uncomfortable stillness. Still not a cloud in sight, the sun shone upon her gravestone, even in death she was a beacon of light. A bouquet of flowers sat upon her grave, but were beginning to wilt. However, a beautiful potted white flower was placed nearby and looked well kept. At least someone still cared, it seemed.
“Hey, Mari. Dad’s finally here. Sorry I didn’t come sooner. Sorry I’ve been gone for so long. Heh, I wasn’t even in the right mind to pick up any flowers for you. But, hey! Looks like someone’s looking after you.”
He pauses for a moment, pondering what he really wants to say.
“Sorry...sorry I lied.”
The silence was deafening.
“You’re probably more angry with me for leaving though, huh?” Daichi let out a pained chuckle.
“You were always too nice. I wanted to believe that you’d be angry with mom and...him. Maybe you were for a time, but I thought you’d hate him, want me to hate him and want me to punish him.”
Daichi held back a sob and let out a huff.
“...that was just what I wanted at the time. That isn’t you. You’ve probably forgiven him, wherever you are. I...I don’t know if I can do that. And even saying that, I hope you can forgive me for what I’ve done. For lying and running away. For abandoning them, even if it felt right at the time. I’m really selfish.”
He stared at her grave and a familiar ache weighed down on him. All the awful scenes and feelings of the torturous past five years relentlessly bombarded his head.
That day, that horrible day that changed everything was burned into his memory. Yet, the droning of the passing years has left it as a blurred nightmare, a faded scar that spontaneously revives phantom stings and nights of drowning in liquor and sorrow. That night Mari and Sunny were going to play a recital together, one that they had been rehearsing for months. It was going to be the talk of the town. It was going to get all eyes on Mari and Sunny and cement their success. But, when he got home to pick them up…
Sunny was sobbing on the couch, despondent, lost in a whirling storm of anguish. His blond friend was sitting next to him, shifting nervously and consoling him.
“She...she told us not t-to follow her…” The blonde’s voice trailed off as he stared in the direction of the backyard, a lost look in his eyes.
Daichi rushed outside and was nearly thrown to the ground by the nightmare confronting him. Mari’s body gently swayed in the wind, hanging from a tree. She killed herself. His daughter killed herself. He failed her and now she was gone forever. The screech of his wife turned to white noise and the world stood still as he approached his first child’s corpse.
He let her down, gently.
Then delusion came over.
Maybe...could she..?
He desperately and irrationally began any CPR he could remember. In vain, of course.
When that proved fruitless he mumbled incoherent pleas to God, or anything, to trade his life for hers; to make any deal to have her back.
Nothing happened.
He hugged her close, then realization came over.
Her neck.
Her face.
Twisted in postmortem and disfigured from her deed. The cloak of death had enraptured her in a cold embrace, dispelling her light and leaving only a shadow of her grace behind. He shakily hovered his palm over her eyes and closed them, the once exuberant orbs never to see the Sun again. He cried. Cried harder than he ever had in his life. He stroked her hair as he sobbed, removing wooden splinters from her flowing locks.
...wood?
The confusion could not pierce through the grief, but the seeds of doubt were implanted as he noticed bruises along her arms and legs. The following days are where the blurs begin-fragmented memories of anger, confusion and sadness, accusations and yelling. Nothing added up: a spontaneous suicide of his perfect daughter right before her recital. Bruises and wooden splinters. A missing violin from a little brother who seemed completely detached from reality. Then, a dark confession.
All hell breaks loose. Daichi couldn’t accept it. Couldn’t accept any of it. He chops down that damn, cursed tree.
He avoids (what he views as) his sociopathic son at every turn and ignores his wife’s increasingly dwindling mental state. She tries everything to keep it together. He tries everything to drown it out.
It hurts, but they keep the lie. Any contact with the other two members of the dread-filled house generally results in raised voices and harsh words.
He feels himself become a husk. He lives the lie, everyday. He hears hushed whispers around town of how his daughter threw away her life and now burns in hell for a selfish and degrading sin. It takes every fiber of his will to not break the lie and defend her. It makes him sick, that after all she did, all she accomplished, all that she was, this is how she’s remembered. But, if the lie was broken, then what? They had already crossed the point of no return, there was no going back, Daichi believed that.
The days got worse and worse. His wife does everything to protect her son and lets him get away with it all. She lets him close himself off all day and do nothing, avoiding all the responsibility and the harshness of facing reality, of facing the town, of facing his dead sister. Sunny walks the house like a corpse, having to be forced to do anything. Daichi can’t stand to look at or be near him.
Daichi begins to eat alone. He begins to sleep on the couch. He spends more time at work and the bar. He does anything to not be home. Arguments become more frequent and reach a boiling point until he can’t take it anymore. There’s nothing left for him here, only misery.
He packs everything he needs and stomps down those damn, cursed stairs. His wife is shouting at him. His son stares at him with an emotionless expression that hides all the pain in his heart.
Daichi mutters nasty things, slams his car door and drives away. He has no destination. He drives on and on until he finds a decent hotel. He calls work and gives his two week notice. They’re surprised, but allow him to leave right away for all he’s done for them. After a sleepless night, he keeps driving and doesn’t look back.
He settles into an apartment far from Faraway, and finds a job similar to his old one, albeit being paid less. He continues to struggle, constantly fighting the quicksand that threatens to consume him everyday. He never rests. He works harder than he ever has to distract himself. All his bosses and coworkers praise him. He gets decent raises. Some women flirt with him at the bars he’s started to frequent. He doesn’t care. He feels nothing, nothing at all. All he does is live that horrible night and last days in Faraway over and over.
Every single possible outcome is entertained in his mind, but it doesn’t matter. There’s no changing the past. Mari’s dead, Sunny killed her, everyone thinks it’s a suicide, and Daichi left it all behind like the coward he is.
He gazes at her grave again. He supposes he came here to try to have some closure, or something close to it. He doesn’t find much, but he’s happy to see her again, even if the sight is painful.
“I love you Mari, and I’m sorry, for everything” He sighs.
“I...I don’t want to hate Sunny. But, what he did to you is…” His voice trails off.
“Ugh, I don’t know what I’m trying to say. Just, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I failed you. I’m sorry I couldn't be better. I love you. You’ll always be my little girl and...I promise you I'll try to be better.”
The dam breaks and he begins to cry.
Through the tears and outpouring of bottled-up emotion, he finally starts to recall the happier times. He remembers bringing Mari home on the night of her birth, settling her into a purple cradle and watching over her all night. He remembers the overwhelming joy when she first uttered “Papa”. He remembers her giggles while playing house with her. He remembers her smile, almost never seen without it.
Birthdays and Christmas’ could not hope to match the way her face lit up when she found out she was going to have a little brother. He remembers when she would surprise the whole family with dinner or a picnic. He remembers her strongest hug when he revealed the grand piano to her.
He remembers helping her practice and seeing immense pride in her eyes when she played her first piece perfectly. He remembers every time he consoled her when she thought she wasn't good enough-if only she knew. She was always good enough. More than that. All these memories...he’ll hold them close and try to move forward. Honestly, he thought coming here would only exasperate his depression, but seeing her again and saying all that out loud lifted a great weight from his shoulder. He still bears many burdens, though.
He doesn’t know if he’ll ever be back again, so he cements the image of her grave in his mind, then begins to set out. He drives through the familiar streets, and on another whim, turns into the upper left corner of the neighborhood. The house he bought years ago seems untouched by time despite its new occupants and unfamiliar decorations. A tinge of disappointment stings his heart. Even after everything, a part of him wants to see the-
-No. None of them would want that. He hasn’t had much contact with his wife after he left. After the finalization of the divorce, it was radio silent until she felt the need to tell him they were moving and that he may come back for some of Mari’s things. He didn’t respond. He was just always running. Oh, well. He takes one final nostalgic look and is glad he can’t see the backyard, then he leaves his old life behind once again.
Not having the strength to drive all the way back home, he books a hotel at the outskirts of town. One final night in Faraway, why not? He settles into a surprisingly well kept room, finally decompressing from the day’s-no, the past years events. He is thankful to feel some alleviation, as small as it is.
Suddenly, the growling of his stomach interrupts his wandering mind. Right, he hasn’t eaten...well, all day. Not really knowing what else is around that delivers, he settles on a classic: Gino’s Pizza. He wasn’t a fan of such food, but he couldn’t deny the satisfaction of indulging the town favorite every once in a while. He scanned through the menu and quickly zeroed in on his favorite topping: Philly cheesesteak! The person taking his order mumbles about how the delivery may take a little longer than expected. Whatever, he doesn’t have the energy left to care. The hour (s)? Pass by without notice, until there’s a knock at the door and a sudden shout,
“PIZZA DELIVERY!!!!!!!”
Well...someone’s enthusiastic about their job. Daichi can respect that. He opens the door, only to be face to face with...air? His eyes trail downward a bit and meet one black orb. Before him stands a slightly below average height teenage delivery boy, thin, pale and adorned with an eye patch. Black strands of hair sprout out from his uniform’s hat, giving way to the dread of familiarity. Daichi feels like he’s been hit by a truck. Sunny feels very much the same. The two just...stare at each other for a long time. Neither saying a word, silence fills the chasm as the two tortured humans try to process the chaotic storm of shock and emotion. Surprisingly, it’s Sunny who breaks the silence.
“Erm...y-your order…” He manages to squeak out as he thrusts out the pizza box.
Daichi momentarily snaps out of his daze and takes the pizza box, trading a $20 bill (and a $3 tip!!!) for it.
“I...uh, I thought you moved.” Is all Daichi can mutter.
“Mhm...we did....just visiting.” Sunny speaks slowly and awkwardly, every word deliberate yet shadowed by doubt.
“Visiting?”
“My friends.”
You don't deserve those after what you did. Do they even know?
Daichi isn’t sure what to feel in regards to thinking that. He was filled with rage at Sunny for so long, but the years of wallowing have gave way to mostly apathy.
Sunny seems to read his mind perfectly.
“I...I told them.” His voice wavers slightly.
“...what?” Daichi does a double take and his heart rate speeds up.
“I told them what happened. I told them the truth.” His voice does not waver this time and a look of resolution unfamiliar to Daichi covers his face.
Daichi feels the clutches of anxiety and uncertainty. He feels the emotions of the past five excruciating years he thought he just came to terms with crawl back up.
“Oh...does anyone else know?”
Sunny’s expression shifts to slight annoyance and something that gives off a scoff of really? That's your first response?”
“I don’t think so…” He solemnly shakes his head.
“Hmph” Daichi feels some relief.
Silence once again fills the space between them for a few moments.
“I...I have to go.” Sunny spins around quickly and begins striding to the exit.
“W-wait!” Daichi has been operating on a lot of whims today. At the sound of his Father’s raised voice, Sunny grinds to a halt and tenses up. Slowly turning around, he begins to tremble.
“Can...we talk?”
“I uh, I-I have other d-deliveries.”
“Can you come back later?”
Sunny steels himself, takes a deep breath and that look of resolution returns.
“Sure.”
Daichi had not expected his trip take such a turn. But, he now decided he had come to tie up loose ends-to find closure. Now, the universe was hanging a chance to confront the wildest thread right in front of him.
He was gonna take it.