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When Fujiko woke up, Lupin's arms were around her and she felt at peace. However, that peaceful feeling didn't last long. It never did.
Waking up in a comfortable bed with a man she cared about, it should have made Fujiko feel good. It should have made her happy. It didn't. Fujiko wished that it would make her happy, but it was the same every time. Whenever she became conscious of how wonderful a moment was, it scared her and the previous joy from said moment disappeared nearly as quickly as she then would.
Frowning softly, Fujiko turned over in Lupin's arms and looked at his sleeping face. He looked so happy in sleep, peaceful even. Biting her lip, Fujiko was jealous that Lupin could feel the things that scared her. She reached out and touched his face. Did she love him? Sadly, she did. Fujiko leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Lupin's lips. He stayed asleep and unaware.
Deep down, Fujiko knew there was a part of her that wished Lupin would stop loving her. It would make things so much easier on them both. She sighed and took her hand away from his face before sitting up in bed. Lupin's love for her, Fujiko hated to admit, was the reason she felt like she did. She was terrified of the idea that if she gave herself over to Lupin, fully gave herself to him like she wanted to, then she would lose her status as the 'unattainable woman' and Lupin would lose interest in her.
Even though Fujiko knew that this fear was irrational, she couldn't help how it consumed her. Lupin was the only person in the world who would love her no matter what, she knew that from the countless times she double-crossed him, or was present in an attempt on his life; and he always welcomed her back. But still… With every step Fujiko took working against Lupin, she was torn. Torn between wanting it to be the final straw for him and him finally writing her off as a bitch like Jigen had done long before, and him forgiving her like he always did.
With a shake of her head at her own stupid feelings, Fujiko got out of bed. She picked up her clothes from the floor and put them on, careful to smooth out any wrinkles or pick off any dust bunnies she saw on them. It was the same as it always was. Looking over at Lupin as she smoothed out her shirt, Fujiko felt horrible. She had to get out of there before she could find a reason to stay any longer.
Fujiko picked up her heels from the floor on her way to the door. Opening it as quietly as she could, she looked over her shoulder at Lupin once again and smiled sadly. That man was an idiot, but she was the bigger idiot. At least he wasn't scared of his own feelings. Fujiko brought her hand up to her lips and blew Lupin a kiss. "Sweet dreams, Lupin… See you soon."
And Fujiko left Lupin's bedroom and snuck out of his flat without making as much as the smallest noise. She held her heels over her shoulder and walked down the street barefooted, knowing very well that the next time she ran into Lupin she would be working against him.