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"W-What do you mean?" The first idea that came inside Nobara's head made her chuckle.
Absurd. It was impossible.
"Of course, he'll cry. It's his brother."
Maki felt her fiancee's grip on her tightened, as if she didn't want to hear the reason anymore, but the older one already made up her mind. She already told her a lot and she wouldn't ignore it now. She had to tell her the truth.
"We're nothing compared to their emotions, Bara. Sukuna cherished his brother in more ways than needed—he saw something in him that he shouldn't have." Maki slowly said. She wanted her to understand and see where she was getting at.
She pulled their joint hands together, pulling her fiancee's hand to her lips and ever carefully kissed it. She wished her gentleness could reach the creases and confusion of the other.
Maki turned her kind eyes to Nobara as she spoke, "He loved him in a way he shouldn't."
"A-and, there will be things—people, who would ruin what y-you have, d-d-d-on't–Fuck!"
Sukuna frustratingly shuffled his hair hard. He was mad with how his tear glands seemed to not know when to give up, and how he kept hiccuping in the middle of the speech—even now when he wasn't even opening his mouth.
The load kept coming and it's heavy. It was full of tears, hurt, regret and expectations. None of it ever helped him sleep at night.
Sukuna used to be strong. He used to be full of praise and was very powerful. All in every way, he was feared.
But now he was weeping. That and only that, for five months now. He couldn't lift a spoon to help himself and all he could think of was how to bury himself to die.
That was the sight Maki saw when she visited Itadori's house, forgetting that Yuuji already moved in with his fiance, Megumi, half a month ago, and came in uninvited.
Yuuji had a habit of leaving the door unlocked as it was easy to open in case of an emergency. It was stupid and he could get robbed from it but no one from his residence dared to change that about him. Rather, Sukuna made sure to watch the door and protect the shine and warmth of their abode.
Perhaps, Sukuna got used to it and picked-up the habit too. For the moment Maki turned the knob of the main door, it automatically welcomed her to go in and help herself.
However this time, there was no sunshine to take care of and to protect.
The air smelled different… like smoke. The walls had punctures and the frames were cracked and shattered, not at the corner, but piece by piece. The pillows were on the floor and the couch itself was scratched. The curtains weren't drawn and the lights remained off. It was dark. Too dark and gloomy.
Before Maki could think of anything dangerous that may have happened with the house, she heard a voice slipping from the room upstairs, shaking. She could immediately identify Yuuji's older brother's rough tone—cussing, screaming and angry.
The way Sukuna used to be, the way he used to sound, before Yuuji did all his best to convince his brother to start living a better life. To start living with him.
'I thought he's changed? What in the hell is this now?' Maki thought.
She hurriedly took her shoes off and scrammed her way towards the stairs. The carpet on it was disheveled and dirty. The kitchen she passed by smelled rotten and pitiful. Maki wanted to lecture Sukuna. She would lecture him from thick through every thin. She couldn't believe after everything Yuuji did for him, it would all crumble down just because the latter wasn't there?
What had become of the oldest Itadori? Would he really want to throw everything Yuuji did for him and what they had now?
Maki remembered the very first night Yuuji brought his brother home. In the middle of the night, a very exhausted Yuuji called her and Nobara for help. A call to help tend his 'brother's' wounds because he couldn't risk him going to the hospital and getting questioned. He wanted to help his brother but didn't know how to.
Nobara and Maki also had questions though.
They wanted to ask how Yuuji suddenly got a brother. They wanted to know the reason a man with the same hair as their friend was full of scratches, slashes and wounds. They wanted to ask what happened. Was he on a run? Were they getting involved in something more dangerous that they could see with their naked eyes?
Yet once they asked the younger of the two, he only smiled. Yuuji's eyes were glistening and red. His shoulders were slumped and gravely punched down. Yuuji wasn't dumb. He knew what was circulating in their minds.
"He's a good man. He's my brother."
They didn't have any choice but to nod at Yuuji's reason-less explanation.
That night, despite being relatives, Maki and Nobara found out it was their first time sleeping under the same roof.
It all happened two years ago, and since then, their relationship as brothers only got better and closer.
That was why to see Sukuna wilding the life he, himself, worked hard to build made Maki angry. As she ran up the stairs and reached out for a door that was slightly opened, she grabbed the phone in her back pocket and kept her hand busy trying to find Yuuji's name in the contacts.
She stood in front of the occupied room and heard the phasing on the floor got louder. The huffs and groans she heard earlier suddenly turned into sobs.
Maki freezed, put one of her knees down and listened for a moment.
She was sure it was Sukuna's voice. It was loud yet trembling and bumpy. Like he was fighting someone. As if he was crying, but she couldn't understand what he was saying.
Maki turned her phone off and settled on the ground. She thought it was better to be sure first before jumping into any conclusion, so Maki bravely held the door and tore it open slightly. She made a space big enough to see that the messy room was as dark as the whole house was. She could taste the bitter taste of the air coming from inside, like rain, and saw Sukuna with his head down–unmoving–in front of a mirror.
She was sure now—he was crying.
Maki then felt the coldness rushing out of the space she made. It was so cold that she wondered how Sukuna was barefooted, didn't have a shirt on and was enjoying the freezing point of his surroundings.
He looked thinner than he used to. Without the tattoos, he'd look more like his younger brother than ever. She saw his nails turned black and saw the crumpled paper he held between his fingers.
Maki was scared it would be a letter of farewell. She couldn't see what was written so she thought of running inside and helping the poor man. But before she could do any gesture she planned, Sukuna started talking again. He raised his head and faced the mirror with blank eyes and heavy breath.
"F-From here on, vow to be honest and t-to love with your everything. Although, sometimes, Yuuji would… would love Megumi more and some days, Megumi would love you more… I-If that happens, know that you c-c-c-can come to me," Sukuna's shoulders shook, "Because I–I will love you more than anyone else in this world can. More than he can. I'll give you everything. I'll be better. J-Just come to me. Come back to me—Fuck! Fuck! Fucking hell! I'm a piece of goddamn shit!"
Maki saw Sukuna break down in front of a mirror, gritting his teeth and failingly controlling his tears to fall down.
"This is not what it should be! I'm not supposed to say any shit like that. Fuck! How can I–How can I…
I'm a scumbag. I'm so sorry, Yuuji, I miss you so fucking much."
With Yuuji's name repeatedly coming out of his brother's mouth in remorse and pleading, Maki finally realized what was happening. She could hear the weeping, see him collapsing, but she knew she could never understand the pain Sukuna was feeling.
'So all along, it was like that.'
Maki wondered if she knew the truth all this time, she could have helped them. She wondered if anything would change, and either if it was for the better or for the worst. She wondered if anyone could do something.
Help him.
Talk to him.
Tell his brother…
how much he loves him.
"Yuuji, damn, I love you. I love you." Sukuna's trembling voice echoed.
Maki knew there was nothing she or anyone could do to make Sukuna's feelings change. Not Megumi, not Yuuji and not even Sukuna himself. Maki whispered an apology at the door. As thankful as she was that the man didn't notice her arrival, she was guilty of knowing something important that could possibly shift the course of her friend's life.
She knew he was hurting... but there was a lot at stake at the moment. She couldn't do it. She shouldn't do it. She wouldn't.
Yuuji was happy.
She wouldn't.
"Maybe in… maybe in another life, Sukuna."
Maki cautiously rose from the ground. She turned her back around and made sure to keep it silent at the stairs. She made one last look at the kitchen, dining room then living room before she placed her shoes back at her feet. Maki locked the knob before she opened the door, closed it back and left.