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mountain flower

Summary:

Like a rare orchid that only grows 3,000 feet above the sea, Hyunsuk is an unreachable flower that Jihoon can only take pictures of as he basks on the beauty and sweet scent from afar.

Notes:

Re-posted here from Twitter

Based on the leaders' constant ice cream dates and TMAP Ep.45

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Jihoon knows something is wrong.

He knows it--can sniff it like a foul odor flower exudes when he walks into his room and finds them withered. 

The same scent greets him the second he opens the door to one of YG dance rooms. Instead of flowers, it's his Hyunsuk-hyung. Which one might argue, for Jihoon, they're practically the same thing; pretty beings that shine under the sun, emitting an irresistible fragrance that makes Jihoon stop and stares. 

But there is a difference between the two. While Jihoon can attain and keep any flowers to himself, he cannot with the other pretty being. Jihoon cannot wrap Hyunsuk in a glittery carton or a hug as much as he wants to. Like a rare orchid that only grows 3,000 feet above the sea, Hyunsuk is an unreachable flower that Jihoon can only take pictures of as he basks on the beauty and sweet scent from afar.

But on this evening, the scent goes sour--Hyunsuk is pouting sadly when Jihoon steps into the dance room.

Sitting on the sofa across the mirror, the eldest of the group stares at the broken strings of a diamond-studded necklace in his hands. There is a deep loss and regret reflected in the eyes as his thumb gently brushes over what's left of his precious 'ices'. Jihoon can't help but want to laugh and pity him at the same time. 

Such a reaction he can only expect from his hyung that cherishes dead objects like it's alive. But Jihoon guesses, he can somehow relate, though not up to Hyunsuk's extreme level of care, if it were his flowers he finds them dead, Jihoon would experience a certain kind of loss too. The flowers are his, after all. He puts a lot of effort to keep them fresh and bloom. He reckons the same goes for Hyunsuk's 'ices'. The older probably polishes them every night to get rid of dust so they stay twinkling like wearing stars around his neck. 

But the stars went supernova on the owner, leaving only the remnants scattered on his hands. At the sight, Hyunsuk's lips tremble and the shockwave reaches Jihoon's heart. The younger leader can't take it anymore, having to watch his hyung's gloom. That's when Jihoon decides to make his presence known. He knocks on the door. 

Hyunsuk immediately looks up at the approaching man. "Jihoon-ah."

"You're done, hyung?" Jihoon asks as he sits beside the older. 

Hyunsuk nods before raising his palms toward the other. "Jihoon-ah, my necklace--"

"Yeah," Jihoon cuts in, inspecting them closely as if he just saw it the first time--as if he didn't spend a minute studying them, along with the owner, earlier by the door. "How did it end up like that?"

"I dunno. I was rapping then suddenly, it fell off," Hyunsuk explains. His lips grow pouty again. With eyebrows bent up and watery eyes, Jihoon is really scared Hyunsuk will seriously cry. If the latter do, Jihoon doesn't think his lovesick heart can stand it. He might join, and anyone who peeks into the room will be shocked and confused on why there are two grown adults shedding tears for a goddamn necklace. So Jihoon pats the other's back, up and down, to give comfort.

Maybe the gesture works because Hyunsuk sighs deeply before cracking a bitter smile. "I got the footage on the T-LOG, though. Something our fans could talk about later." 

Jihoon lets out a breath of relief. He murmurs, "Bet they'll be surprised too."

The older hums, eyes still glued on the fractured necklace in his hands. Silence falls but not inside Jihoon's head; the gears are working, trying to find a solution like he always does in the face of challenges. Jihoon is a problem solver and after a couple of seconds, he solves one.

"Ya, hyung, we can fix it tomorrow. After my Inkigayo."

It immediately gets Hyunsuk's attention. The smaller of the two tilts his head, puzzled. "We can?"

"Yeah, I have some free time tomorrow. How about you?"

Hyunsuk curls his lips as he recalls his schedule. Then, he nods. "Yeah, me too, I guess."

Jihoon gives an OK before a gear in his mind ticks. An idea just pops in and he has to clench the sofa tight and control himself to avoid appearing giddy about it. He shifts his eyes away and clears his throat. He casually adds, "Oh, actually I've been wanting to try this mint-choco flavor Baskin Robbins that came out a little while ago."

Hyunsuk's mouth forms an 'O' before telling, "I think I saw you answered some fans' suggestions on Weverse about it."

"Yup."

"And I saw your post about persuading me to try it."

Jihoon bits the inside of his cheek to repress a smile. "Yup. How about it? Wanna try, hyung?"

From their reflection across the room, Jihoon can see hesitation flickering across Hyunsuk's face. The younger waits then. Until the older replies, "You know I don't like mint-choco."

"I know but we're going together tomorrow, anyway. To fix your necklace. After that, let me treat you. And if you still don't like it, just give the ice cream to me. I'll finish it," Jihoon says quickly. The answer has been brewed since the beginning since he already expects rejection. He just hopes it manages to persuade the other.

But judging from the change of expression, from bleak to bright--a shift of scent from sour to sweet--as Hyunsuk shoots a smile a little wider than before, maybe Jihoon does succeed.

Hyunsuk nudges the younger's shoulder, giggling. "Okay, sure but this almost looks like your way to get more ice cream, Jihoon-ah."

Or to get a date with you, Jihoon corrects the older mentally. But in reality, the younger goes with, "Yeah, it is." Hyunsuk is a rare flower, after all, and Jihoon the photographer knows it's best to relish it in the wild where under the right climate, its beauty blooms long-lasting. Let Jihoon be its secret admirer who guards the flower against any danger or gloom, such as the case with the broken necklace. Frowns don't fit right on Hyunsuk's face so when the older finally agrees for tomorrow, in his mind Jihoon pumps a hand to the air in victory. 

The date is set. 

Soon after, they decide to go home. Hyunsuk stops making sad faces as he tucks the broken necklace into his bag. Jihoon considers it a win. 

They walk side by side back to their vans,

to their dorm,

to the next day, 

as the sun hangs high and Jihoon bows to every Inkigayo staff and fellow MCs after another job well done. He checks his phone and finds Hyunsuk is already parked at the parking lot to pick the younger up. So the latter quickly packs his stuff and exits the building. 

First, they drive into a trusted jewelry shop recommended by the staff to fix Hyunsuk's necklace. When the shop manager takes the soon-to-be-repaired necklace off of the owner's hand and into the backroom, Jihoon has to stifle a snort from catching a glimpse of Hyunsuk who gives an aura of a mother sending her child off to surgery. He looks so damn worried, Jihoon is afraid the other's mouth falls out of his face from curling so low down to the chin. 

Jihoon circles an arm around the smaller man's shoulder, trying hard not to smirk amused but shows concern, and when the shop's manager gets back and explains the necklace will be fine after two days in the workshop, Jihoon breathes in relief at the same time as Hyunsuk. 

After another ten minutes of Hyunsuk bombarding the manager with minuscule details, the leaders finally leave the shop and drive to their next destination. They have two, actually. One, the nearest Baskin Robbins to grab some scoops of the new mint-choco flavor. Second, an outdoor spot scarce of people for their T-Log shoot. Last night, when they update their manager about their plan to hang out after Jihoon's MC gig, their manager asks to record their free time together for stock footage for the next T-Log episode. The leaders obviously don't mind since they're already used to impromptu Vlog so after they buy two cups of mint-choco ice cream, the driver steps on the gas and steer the van to the last place on the list. 

On the way there, Jihoon never takes his eyes off of Hyunsuk. Not that he can--he never can ever since he knows the guy--but this time, it's because he's anticipating the older's reaction to the ice cream. 

Perched side by side in the middle seat of the van, Hyunsuk scoops a chunk of the pastel green-colored dessert while Jihoon holds his breath. The latter carefully follows how Hyunsuk's expression shifts the moment the small spoon goes into his mouth; a little bit perplexed, then surprised, before amusement when Hyunsuk notices Jihoon has been watching him intently. Maybe too intense, Jihoon doesn't realize he's stopped eating his own ice cream and flat out frowning at his hyung.

"Relax, Jihoon-ah," Hyunsuk says between his chuckles. 

Jihoon quickly pulls himself together before asking, "Not bad, right?"

Hyunsuk eats another spoonful of mint-choco, savors it for a brief while, and just when Jihoon can't take anymore of the suspense, the older's face lights up. "You know what? I kinda like this! Why is it so different from any mint-choco ice cream I've tasted?"

Oh, the relief that washes over Jihoon is immense. He plays it cool, though, simply shrugging as he answers, "Dunno. Maybe the flavor is right for you. Or maybe it's the timing. Maybe you're in need of some sweet to cheer you up after you broke your necklace."

Hyunsuk seems to agree. "Yeah, I guess."

An urge to draw down the car window and yells happily to random pedestrians creeps under his skin but Jihoon controls it, suppresses it. No one needs to know that his effort to cheer his hyung has paid off. Just him alone, that's enough.

Oh, but maybe his fans do. He already announced once he would get the ice cream with his hyung, after all. 

"Hey, hyung, let's take some photos and post them," Jihoon asks while fishing his phone out of his pocket. The other nods and soon, a photo of their hands holding the ice cream cups circulates online. Not a big deal, from Jihoon's perspective. Just keeping a promise and being a caring idol. 

Without him realizing it, the car has stopped. The group arrives at a deserted area near Hangang Park; a narrow road for one car with steel yellow rails built along the pavement overlooking the Han River and the cityscape beyond. No busy passerby around so it's safe for the leaders to get off the van and stroll around. The managers maintain their distance in the back to let the idols do their job while watching the surrounding for any wild fans. 

The leaders stop by the rail and take in the view. It's sometime before dusk. The river water reflects the glow of the sun, mixing orange with deep blue, mirroring the color of the sky above. Flowers bloom along the pavement; a familiar fragrance enters Jihoon's nose blending with the smell of the river. With his other senses, Jihoon also detects no usual crowd noises or cars honking--for once, the city is mute. There is a comfortable silence cloaking the air along with warmth and he wonders if it's the sun doing it or the person next to him. 

Jihoon turns to his side but only to find Hyunsuk already staring. For some reason, he's smiling. The ice cream in his cup almost melted and for a second, Jihoon did too under Hyunsuk's warm gaze. So the younger shies away and looks ahead to the river instead. True to his talkative self, he starts some small talk to hide his flustered self. 

"Not sad anymore?" Jihoon asks while scooping his ice cream. Three more and the cup will be empty. 

"Sad?" Hyunsuk is sounding confused. 

"Your ices."

"Oh, it's fine. It's being fixed, anyway."

"Two days, he said?"

"Yeah, two days. I should be able to pick it up around Wednesday noon."

"Right."

"Jihoon-ah."

Hearing the sudden call of his name, Jihoon's head turns. A similar scene greets him--Hyunsuk offers a smile, small and tender, and if Hyunsuk was beautiful before, then he is much more now. 

"Thank you for this," the older utters, gentle, and anyone with working ears can hear the sincerity behind the words. In the face of such affection from the one he longs in secret, Jihoon cowers. He throws his face away before playing with his food.

"Naah, I just don't wanna see our Hyunsukie cries over some necklace. And I got my ice cream so it's a win for me," Jihoon says and he hopes Hyunsuk doesn't hear the way his voice shakes out of nervousness. 

If the older did, well, he doesn't say anything. Hyunsuk replies with a short hum before gazing ahead at the horizon. 

Jihoon takes this chance to calm himself down and finish his ice cream. Hyunsuk is back to his usual cheery self and that's enough. The date is over and time to get on with their job. 

"Come on, finish your ice cream," Jihoon says, nudging the other's shoulder, "We still got to record some T-LOG. I can feel our managers waiting and glaring at us from behind."

"They're not here, though."

Jihoon is surprised at Hyunsuk's answer. He spins around to see no one monitoring them; only an empty road and alley. The managers are nowhere to be found. Maybe they go back to the van, parked not far from where they are, to grab something. 

"Here, finish mine," Hyunsuk says, pulling Jihoon's attention back. The older pushes his ice cream cup to the younger. There's only a little left, five more scoops. Jihoon is lying if he doesn't want it. So he asks, "You're sure?" 

"Yeah."

After getting one last confirmation, Jihoon exchanges his empty cup with Hyunsuk's and eats the rest of the dessert. Too much sugar intake today but it's fine. He just needs to avoid eating more sweets for the next two weeks. 

The sun is near to set so Jihoon gobbles the ice cream faster. In thirty seconds, in fact, it's a wonder he doesn't get a brain freeze. As he's done, he juggles to click the vlogging camera on with the other hand. The screen blinks before displaying his own face, captured by the front camera. By then he notices the mess he made for eating on a clock; the mint-choco leaves a spot on the corner of his mouth but before he can wipe it off, he feels small fingers latch on his arm. 

Suddenly, everything moves fast. Like a gust of mountain wind blowing through a field of flowers and spreading the pollen, Jihoon also feels the touch of a petal gracing his face-- that petal is Hyunsuk's lips, kissing the spot where the last of the mint-choco is. It's soft and shocking and quick, only last a second or maybe less before Hyunsuk steps back, leaving Jihoon speechless and numb. Is this what it's like to get hypothermia when in the mountain? Jihoon can feel neither his fingers nor any body nerves--only ragged breath and racing heart. 

"Just kidding. I still want some ice cream after all."

Jihoon hears the other's murmurs but he doesn't dare to turn and face him. Instead, he glances at the camera screen in front, and what it records almost lurches him into a laughing fit.

There's a matching shade of red spreading across both the leaders' faces. It's natural if Jihoon is flustered but why the initiator, Hyunsuk, does too baffles the younger. Though it seems Hyunsuk has more balls than him since the older still has his eyes glued on Jihoon, unlike the latter who can't even crack his neck to the side. 

Hyunsuk then joins looking at the screen before he giggles. The sound is music to Jihoon's ears but the poor man hasn't even recovered from his paralyzed state when Hyunsuk suddenly hooks an arm to Jihoon's. The older joins him, steadying the camera by the handle before steering them both along the vacant road. 

"Let's start the vlog, Jihoon-ah~" Hyunsuk chirps so merrily, Jihoon worries if his hyung is drunk. But he's not. In fact, through the camera screen, Jihoon never sees his hyung grins so goddamn wide and free as he yaps about random things when Jihoon hasn't found his voice back. 

And it's a wonder, Jihoon thinks, because he always views Hyunsuk as the mountain flower blooming outside everyone's reach but maybe all those time alone at the peak makes the flower lonely.

Maybe it is waiting for a photographer who doesn't just use their lens to see its beauty, but brave enough to climb the cliff and keep its company. 

When Hyunsuk's body pressed to Jihoon throughout their vlog--when his eyes grow crescent as he laughs and giggles and beams to Jihoon with all his charm and beauty--Jihoon guesses, 

just maybe, like the flower, 

Hyunsuk has been waiting for Jihoon too. 

 

Notes:

Thanks for reading! Comments & kudos are appreciated💙

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