Work Text:
Feeling sick of myself
Bad felt self-conscious of his looks. His fans would always say how pretty he was, but he couldn’t help but have his doubts. In the past, viewers would often make fun of him when he had facecam, resulting in Bad often hiding his face. Now, he felt as though his viewers only said Bad was pretty out of pity.
Think I’ll try to be someone else
Bad was streaming with Skeppy. They were eating hot wings, meaning Bad needed his facecam as proof he was following the rules. Bad was still scared to show his face. He wished he could look like someone else.
Can’t be hard to paint a person, In my head create a version, A parallel
Bad put a filter on, hiding his face with fake sunglasses, Skeppy started watching his stream, and began laughing as he saw Bad’s facecam. That laugh that would usually make Bad’s heart flutter now made Bad’s heart drop. Bad thought he knew what Skeppy was about to say. That he looked weird. That he was ugly. Bad should have been used to it from the comments he was given in the past, but for some reason coming from Skeppy it hurt a thousand times more.
Pull my head out of the sand, Try as hard as I can
What Skeppy said left Bad confused. Bad couldn’t understand.
Guess I must be satisfactory, You said you love me exactly the way I am
”Bad! What’s with the stupid flames and the glasses? You don’t need that, you’re pretty!” Bad’s heart melted at those words. How could thousands of people tell Bad he’s pretty, yet he doesn’t believe it until Skeppy tells him the same thing?
And you know I find it hard to understand
“I-I know I’m pretty, Skeppy, but I want it,” Bad stammered. Skeppy didn’t understand why Bad wouldn’t show his face, but he wouldn’t try to pressure Bad into doing so. It was obvious to him that Bad felt uncomfortable with it.
Pay a visit to the doctor ‘cause I have, A sweet tooth for you
Bad often rewatched that clip, heart melting each time Skeppy called him pretty. Skeppy is too sweet for his own good, Bad thought. Bad couldn’t help but have a sweet tooth for Skeppy.
I’m wide awake
Often, when Bad couldn’t sleep, he’d call Skeppy. They’d talk until they’d both inevitably fall asleep. Bad felt as though he were bothering Skeppy on these nights, but Skeppy would always insist that he enjoyed the calls. Sometimes, Skeppy would call Bad when he couldn’t sleep, too. Falling asleep on calls together became normal for them.
The sugar went, Straight to my brain
Bad felt as though he were spoiled with Skeppy’s sweetness sometimes. He wondered why Skeppy still even talked to him. Bad felt that he was too needy.
Feel like a kid, I double tap, My chest with my fist
Bad was on a late-night call with Skeppy, since he couldn’t sleep due to his nightmare. Bad felt childish for it, and quickly apologized for making Skeppy worried with Bad’s panicky tone. Skeppy refused to accept that apology, telling Bad how it wasn’t childish to be scared. Bad was crying, frustrated at how sweet Skeppy was. He wanted to say something about it. He needed to say something about it. Bad felt like he couldn’t hold it in anymore. Skeppy was interrupted.
I like you
Bad held his breath. He said it. The secret he was hiding from Skeppy for months now. Bad instantly regretted it, fearing rejection. The call was painfully silent.
Say it back
”I like you too.”
Say it back