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Severin hasn’t been home from the hospital after the incident in the army, where the plane crashed and he lost his leg, long when it happens.
He and Richard are lying on the bed, Richard more on Severin than on the bed, truthfully, careful of the other’s missing leg, not wanting to hurt him. It has been years since they have been in a position like this and neither of them had fully realized until this moment how much they missed this part of their relationship.
Severin’s arms are around him, holding him close as the two of them kiss. What had started as an innocent peck on the lips has quickly escalated to making out, hands wandering over skin. Severin has one under Richard’s shirt and, in return, has one of the other man’s in his hair, pulling lightly.
“Missed you,” Severin whispers into the kiss, eyes closed, “Missed this.”
“You too,” Richard mumbles, sitting back a little to pull away from the kiss as he feels one of Severin’s hands sliding down to his arse and squeezing.
“You thinking what I’m thinking, baby?” He asks, smirking a little, leaning into Richard’s neck to give him a little time to catch his breath.
Richard’s hips move against Severin’s thigh as his arse is grabbed and a moan leaves him. As he feels lips on his neck he pulls back more. This isn’t the first time this has happened, Richard pulling back as things start to go farther. At first, he had assured Severin he just didn’t want to hurt him, the stump from his missing leg was still tender, after all. By now though, he’s running out of excuses.
Catching on with Richard pulling back away from him, Severin drops his hands, carefully pushing himself until he’s sitting up. “What’s wrong, Richie?” He asks, arms going out for the smaller, giving him the option to crawl into them if he wants the comfort, which he gladly accepts immediately. “This isn’t the first time this has happened and I know it’s no longer about me, if it ever was.”
“Long story, and I really didn’t want to hurt you,” Richard mumbles, hiding his face against Severin’s neck, his thoughts spiraling to Crystal and everything that had happened while Severin was gone. A logical part of his brain is telling him that Severin won’t mind the scars, they both have some, after all, and Severin has a lot of new ones as well. But part of him doesn’t believe that. He thinks Severin will be mad that he had tried dating someone, despite how many times Severin told him to, that Severin will be mad at the scars covering his thighs, disgusted by them. Richard can’t let him see them, can he?
“I’ve got time and I’m not going anywhere,” Severin replies, “You don’t have to tell me now, no need to feel pressured, but anytime you’re ready to talk about it, I’ll be here to listen and make sure you know it’s all okay.” He adds, just to make sure Richard isn’t pressured, even if he is starting to worry about what this means.
A small smile crosses Richard’s face and he knows Severin can feel it against his neck, “Thank you, Lion. I-I think it’s someth-thing I should j-just go on and say. Get it over with.”
Severin nods, “Alright then, what is it?” He asks, placing a kiss on Richard’s hair and rubbing his arm, trying to soothe him.
“Y-y-you know how you kept t-telling me to d-date someone while you were g-gone?” He asks.
Severin pauses before nodding slowly. He’s not normally one to get insecure or worried, but now he can’t stop himself from worrying. Is this why Richard doesn’t want to do anything more? Did he meet someone else? Someone he would rather be with that isn’t so broken? It would explain why he’s always pulling away when things start to go further, it’s not like Richard to cheat, after all. And he had been pushed away, it wouldn’t have been his fault.
Seeming to pick up on what Severin is thinking, Richard shakes his head, “N-no, nothing like th-that. I tr-tried. They were hor-horrible.” Richard admits, feeling tears in his eyes and trying to blink them back, “Her n-name was Cr-Crystal. Sh-she…She’s dead now. J-Jimmy killed her. She c-called me names, wanted t-to use me as an actor b-boyfriend. Sh-she hated the sc-scars on my th-thighs. S-so…” He pauses, taking a shaky breath as Severin pulls him closer and holds him tight, occasional gentle kisses being placed on his cheek and neck.
Richard stays for a moment and then, carefully, he pulls himself out of the hold to stand next to the bed, his hands going to his belt, taking it off, and then pulling his jeans down, not bothering with the button and zip. He can feel Severin’s eyes on him, knowing the other is curious about what is going on, but Richard carefully doesn’t meet them as his hands find the band of his boxers and, with a deep breath, he closes his eyes and pulls them down.
There’s a silence in the room for a moment, it’s almost overwhelming to Richard and Severin feels it’s almost painfully quiet. For a moment that Severin isn’t proud of, he stares at Richard’s legs, burn scars covering the upper half of the pale legs, seeming to wrap the whole way around them, pink in color and disfigured from the soft milky white it had been the last time he had seen them.
Realizing he’s staring, he snaps himself out of it. He carefully slides himself closer to Richard, getting the man as close to between his legs as he can, giving he only has one at the moment, the other waiting next to the bed.
Once he’s closer, he looks up at the other, “Richie, bunny, can you open your eyes for me?” He asks, softly, smiling a little when he gets to see the warm brown eyes. “I’m not going anywhere, alright? No worrying about that. This isn’t going to make me run. But we need to talk about this a little. I have some questions. Of course, you don’t have to answer anything you aren’t comfortable with, it’s completely up to you.”
Richard nods, looking down at Severin and there are tears in his eyes once again but he moves to pull his boxers back up and sits down on the bed next to Severin, his legs draped over Severin’s left leg, leaning against his side.
Severin, seeing this as a good sign, wraps his arm around the smaller man and holds him, “Okay, I’m reading this situation right, right? This is something you did because Crystal thought your scars were ugly?” He asks, keeping his voice soft and gentle.
Richard nods and then speaks after a beat, “Yeah, she hated th-them and th-thought they were d-disgusting. I thought th-this would be a way to cover them a-and it was when I-I thought I had lost you and everyth-thing was just too much. I-I didn’t know what to d-do and everything was t-terrible,” He explains, eyes closing again. “I thought I-I had lost e-everything good in my life and I-I was going to b-be stuck with someone like her. I-I hated myself, th-the scars, the pain… was a nice d-distraction.”
“Okay,” Severin says slowly, “And Jim has taken care of her?”
Richard nods again, “Y-yeah, she’s d-dead.”
“Good,” Severin whispers and feels Richard tense, still he can’t bring himself to take back what he said. Richard is too nice and sweet to have to deal with someone so evil who will cause him pain. Who could do such a thing? Everyone loves Richard.
Neither of them speaks for a minute and then Severin leans in, kissing Richard’s cheek loudly, smiling as he sees his favorite smile appear, even if it is a small one.
“How about you get into some comfortable clothes, I’ll hop out to get some ice cream and you can choose something to watch?” Severin asks, “Anything else can wait until you’re feeling more like it.”
Richard smiles a little and nods, standing up. “Th-Thank you, Lion,” He whispers, holding a hand out for Severin to take.
“One more question, and it might seem odd but I want to check in, just in case.” Severin stands up, pulling Richard into his arms.
“Yeah?” Richard asks, curious and a little worried about what he was about to be asked, the worst things coming to mind.
“How do you feel about your thighs being touched? I don’t want to lay my hand on your leg if it’s going to cause you any sort of pain.” Severin says, keeping his voice soft, knowing it’s something he often does unconsciously but if it hurts Richard he’ll be sure to stop himself from now on.
Richard pauses, that is something he hadn’t really considered before. “I think it’ll be okay as long as I see it coming, let me see that you’re doing it, or let me know somehow and I’ll be alright.”
Severin nods and smiles a little, leaning down and kissing the shorter man’s cheek, “Go find those clothes now, and I’ll go find that ice cream,” He orders lightly as he turns to hop out of the room.
Richard stays behind for a moment, changing out of his clothes and into a pair of soft pajama pants and a t-shirt. He walks out of the bedroom, stopping on the way to grab a blanket, and then makes his way to their DVDs picking one out and getting it ready before sitting on the couch.
As soon as Richard sits down, he finds himself in Severin’s arms. He had found his way onto the couch with the chocolate ice cream while Richard was getting the movie set up.
“Ready then?” Severin asks, receiving a nod before pressing play on the remote before reaching for the tub of ice cream, opening it, and holding a spoon out for Richard.
“Thank you, Lion,” He whispers, kissing his cheek, then settles in against his side, watching the movie. Maybe Severin is okay with the mistakes he’s made and the changes they have resulted in. Just maybe they’ll be okay and he’s not ruined anything permanently, he thinks as he laughs softly at the movie, comfortable, safe, and loved in the other man’s arms.