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The volleyball teams decided on having a big party for the third years that were to graduate. They had planned the party in one of the bigger gyms and a few of the younger classmen were deciding on how to decorate the gym. Of course it was a party, but in the end everyone would be in tears. One person was supposed to be in charge of the speech for the night, which suddenly everyone had agreed on letting Sugawara take over. Sugawara was not the biggest fan of speeches, especially right now because he was extra emotional. So he found himself in the gym, talking to other players and learning how each third year was coping with it all. They had graduated, were walking into their adult lives now and it all seemed sudden. The gym in colors and music played softly in the background and some students shed tears in the darkly lit area already.
The night started to calm, the stage being set up for the speech Sugawara was supposed to be giving and he felt nervous, wondering how small he would look up there alone and wondering if he would break down crying up there. He took in a deep breath, smiling softly at Asahi who was concerned for him. He calmed the others' worry, putting a wall up over his own emotions and he headed towards the stage when he saw one of the coaches wave him over there. As he walked, his brown eyes scanned as people gathered around, surprised to see when Oikawa had pushed his way to the front with Iwaizumi. The Seijoh boys were standing next to Daichi and Asahi, the rest of Karasuno seeming to flood at their side. He finally made it over and he shakily smiled at the coaches. Walking up the stairs, he tried to keep his head held high and he was thankful to see the written out speech was already on the podium he would be standing at. He held his head up, finally managing to get to the stadium and he flicked the microphone and it gave out a good sound.
He smiled at the crowd of volleyball players, fear and the pressure of doing good clouding his mind, “Hi I am Sugawara Koushi, I am Karasuno’s backup setter and I was forced out here to give a speech. So you all better cry to make me feel good!”
The crowd had erupted in giggles, laughter, and sad smiles. The players staring at him, one player in general was very focused on him. Oikawa. Oikawa stood in the front row, hazel eyes staring at him with interest and curiosity. Oikawa had given him this lopsided smile and it made him remember every memory they shared together. He was thankful for the day Oikawa asked for his number after a practice match, even if he was a little hesitant with trusting the brunette at first. Then their days seemed to blend together, texting every minute they had and soon hanging out for days on end. Often times ending up on the couch and entangled in each others arms and legs, watching crappy movies that both made fun of. Words were spoken in those times as well, words the outside world wouldn't hear or know. Words even Sugawara himself wasn't supposed to be hearing.
The glance at Oikawa made him feel more confident however and he took in another deep and shaky breath, starting at the speech he took too long to write. Nights of being hunched over a desk with an aching back and nonstop tears of frustration. There were many drafts to this speech, each one not being to entirely pull out the emotions he wanted. Then one night, he finally managed to write something good and here he stood on stage with speech in his hand like a sword. He hoped his parents were out in the crowd, he had made this speech and told them it was the best thing he had written so far. He didn't let them read it either, only telling them they would have to show up to hear it. It was a gamble if his parents would in fact show up though.
“Remember how we forgot? Remember how no one ever really died in the wars we fought? Because each gunshot came from our fingertips and we never really kept them loaded just in case. Cause each enemy was a friend and none of it was about oil, religion, or land and it was all just pretend. Remember how we used to bend reality? Like we were circus strong men, like our imaginations were in shape then, like we were all ninjas trained in the deadly art of "did not" Like "I totally got you", "Did not",” He spoke out and his soft voice roamed through the now steady and silent gym, sometimes a small yet sad giggle would come from the people.
They all remembered when they were kids, they all remembered how each was they played was about something stupid. Their finger guns never held true bullets because in the end they were friends and would laugh about it later. They remembered when they were kids and how reality seemed to bend just right for them, for them to ignore the dangers of growing up. But here they were now, graduating from high school and now alone in the journey of adulthood. The guns that once held no bullets had upgraded and now there were bullets in the guns they possessed. Each gun shooting at them for things they didn’t have to care about until now.
“Remember how we forgot? Remember how our parents told us never to look directly into the sun and how we were their son. And so we never looked directly into the mirror, in fear that we would go blind,” Sugawara’s eyes had flickered over to Asahi. Asahi turned a bright red and sent him a soft glare. A glare that meant nothing but still made a sad giggle leave him. He continued on with the speech and moved his eyes away from Asahi, “Remember how we used to find any old reason just to call someone we were crushing on? Like we could just pawn off our sense of embarrassment, buy a chunk of courage that would last just long enough to have us askin 'em about math and stuff. And how stuff was just stuff, like I heard you're getting braces, now braces somehow were and still are kinda hot.”
Sugawara had his eyes flicker to Oikawa, their eyes meeting and both of their cheeks burned red in color as they remembered. When Oikawa and him exchanged numbers, everything went different. He would go home and wait for Oikawa to ask him about some math problems. But it was never about math, the brunette always lingered on call and asked about things to keep them talking. He didn’t mind, he did the same thing and dared to make the conversation always continue, even though he felt clingy about doing so. He tried to keep the conversation going, especially when his parents weren’t there to fill the empty home. He stayed on the safe topics and embarrassing ones, like when he mentioned he might be forced to get braces and Oikawa had shamelessly said they look hot on some people. But nonetheless he had burned bright red when Oikawa had confidently and ever so shamelessly claimed, ‘You’ll look hot in them!’.
“Remember how we forgot? Remember how we all caught mono and our folks would go, "oh the kissing disease" and our first steps into gangsta hood had us saying “mother please.” Even though we’d never really kissed anyone, even though we never did half the things we said we’d done, we just spun yarn like Rumpelstiltskin spun gold,” The boys shivered some as they recalled what the silver haired setter was talking about and he just smiled sheepishly as he continued, “We told ghost stories never realizing we would one day ourselves become ghosts. Haunting the hallways of schools and breaking all the rules of silence in the library. But we had no chains to rattle, no voice to battle the fact that we had no vocal chords and we had only finger nails on chalk boards. We would scream, shout, and yell trying to tell ourselves what experience can teach is what no teacher taught.”
No teacher taught them of the outside world they were experiencing, no one prepared them to be the ghosts of the schools and the haunted lockers of the graduating class. No one taught them what it would be like to walk around and have no chains holding them down to a certain seat or chair. The new experience had left them speechless, ripping their vocal cords out and leaving a void of curiosity and fear. The two emotions went hand in hand and they won the battle against the fear of growing up. Some failed and some held their heads high, some didn’t make it and others remained children and had no longing to grow up. They still went to high school parties to try and feel young, some lost their footing as they realized life had begun. They were walking on tightropes and hoped life wouldn't be the one to push them off the edge. The rope before was thick, but now they were left with a thin string they now had to walk on for the rest of their lives.
“Once upon a time, we were young and our dreams hung like apples, waiting to be picked and peeled and hope was something needing to be reeled-in. So we can fill the always empty big fish bin with the one that got away and proudly say that "this time, impossible is not an option". Because success is so akin to effort and opportunity they could be related and so we took chances, we figure skated on thin ice and believed that each slice of life was served with something sweet on the side and failure was never nearly as important as the fact that we tried. That in the war against frailty and limitation, we supplied the determination it takes to make ideas and goals the parents of possibility. And we believe ourselves to be members of this family, not just one branch on one tree but a forest whose roots make up a dynasty and so when I call you sis or bro, it’s not lightly,” Sugawara spoke strongly, his head held high and the fear had long since melted away. His brown eyes looking around the crowd, looking around how each team teared up slightly as he spoke.
Each boy remembering how they all tried, they all tried so hard to win and if they lost it was okay, because there was always next time. Even though sometimes, people couldn’t escape death and some grew angry over the situation. Failure was always around the corner, lurking in some of the teams minds and some tears were fueled off of it. Karasuno being a team to rise up from failure and escape it when it hits them in the face and they always knew there was next time in the end. Some people, like Oikawa, strove to do better and be better, no matter the outcome of what it brought. The time Karasuno beat Seijoh was hard for Oikawa, but nonetheless Sugawara was there to comfort him and spill his own dark secrets in the night. Both wept in each other's arms, the goals they had sprouted to life at a young age filled their hearts and left them craving to do better and achieve the goal.
Sugawara blinked softly as he pushed past tears and he took in a breath. He smiled, his smile seeming to grow sadder and more soft. He spoke out, “And when I ask you to remember,
it’s because the future isn't what it used to be. So remember now and pay tribute to every sacrifice laid upon the altar of somehow. For all the times, somehow we overcame, somehow we pushed on and somehow we’ve gone the distance. And in going there we possessed the freedom to map the uncharted lands of any and everywhere, we are unbound. Six feet above the underground where we will all one day rest so until then, test the limits and test the boundaries and borders. As if the headquarters of potential lay just beyond the world's edge and let the belief that hope belongs to us all. Be the pledge you take to make the unachievable as inconceivable as the false fact that we were never here, we were here.”
Not everyone’s future stayed the same, easy things could change your future and what you hoped the outcome would end up as. Sugawara knew this well, from a young age he wanted to go into playing volleyball, but with discouragement from his parents, he had settled with being a middle school teacher. His future changed before his eyes and for a second he believed he could change it again. But he finally accepted being a teacher, working hard in school to be able to go to a good college and get scholarships for it. His future had changed and he accepted it, but that didn’t mean he forgot how it was before it changed. He remembered wanting to be this star volleyball player and be able to come home and have people dying to take pictures. Life though helped him out, deciding that wasn’t for him and led him to a poor calm lifestyle. He still got to watch others though and watch them achieve their dream in playing volleyball. He would always cheer on a certain one, Oikawa. He wanted so badly for Oikawa to be able to achieve his dreams and he hoped they would be. He hoped the future wouldn’t change for Oikawa and if he did, he hoped it changed for a good reason.
“And our memories are as dear to us as every slow motion moment or held breath. So remember every instance before death, every first kiss, first dance, near miss, last chance, yes, no, maybe so. Let us go the distance once more, let us remember all the moments that were and were not, like the point is something we can get and what we can get is what we got because all we have are the times between the moments we connect each dot. So live and remember, burn like an ember, capable of starting fires. Like each moment inspires the next, like memories are the context we put ourselves in so that life becomes the next of kin we need to notify in case of a big bang or extinction level event. Let now be our advent and let us live like we meant it, let us burn like we mean it! Because this world doesn't give a shit if we end in a train wreck or a car crash, if our story ends with a dot or dash or if we were dust or ash. Because all we were is all we’ll be, and all we are is the in-between of so far, so good,” By this time he had tears falling down his face and his brown eyes glimmering with tears in the gym lights. But his lips stayed in a proud smile as if to say the tears were okay to be there and this wasn’t a sad type of crying being done.
The crowd watched in awe as they listened to the silver haired males words and took them to heart. They watched as Sugawara collected himself together, all in tears and each one of them feeling their heart strings being tugged by every word spoken. They knew the speech was coming to an end and they knew after the speech..they would finally graduate and nothing could tell them they weren’t. Oikawa blinked back his own tears and he fought the urge to climb up on stage to hug the setter. He knew the end of the speech was coming and he knew this might be his only chance to confess his feelings for Sugawara. He let his tears slip as each word spoken hit somewhere inside of him and he looked to see even Iwaizumi had teared up from the speech being made. The world could care less on how they went on with their lives or how they’re clocks finally stopped ticking the same tune. All Oikawa knew was that he wanted to express his feelings and live his life without the regret of never doing so. He wanted to be able to live and be able to tell his kids he had no regrets in high school. He wanted a life with no regrets and the start is now.
Sugawara had taken in a shaky breath, forcing back the tears as he tried to focus on the paper in front of him. His brown eyes trying to grasp the words on the paper with tears in his eyes. He smiled though, trying to reassure people he was okay. He then got back to speaking, finishing his speech with confidence, “The memories we are amassing will stand as testament and that somehow we bent minds around the concept that we see others within ourselves. That self-knowledge can't be found on bookshelves so who we are has no bearing on how we appear. Look directly into every mirror and realize our reflection is the first sentence to a story and our story starts: "We were here."”
As Sugawara finished, he took a step back from the podium and the crowd erupted in applauses, screams, and even whistling. He laughed softly, thanking the audience and he wiped his eyes once more as the tears endlessly poured from his brown eyes. He walked off the stage and let one of the teachers take over, the teachers and coaches in tears as well by his speech. He nodded his head towards the people who thanked him and complimented his speech. He though was overwhelmed by it all and headed towards the outside of the gym. He let himself lean against the wall, brown eyes staring up at the night sky and at the stars that shimmered for him. He let his eyes close and more tears seemed to fall down and he knew why he was so emotional. This was his graduation speech and his parents hadn’t come along to hear it and congratulate him. His parents had promised to come, promised to be there for him and the speech he was to give. He was so excited for them to come, that he called Oikawa that night to tell him the news. Though, the brunette told him to be cautious and not be to excited, they may not come. Oikawa had been right. He opened his eyes as he heard the gym door open, brown eyes flickering over to find a familiar face.
“Kou-chan! That speech was absolutely amazing!” Oikawa had grinned, bringing him into a bone crushing hug which he let out a weak laugh about.
“Thank you Ru..you were right though. They didn’t show up tonight,” He sniffled and nuzzled his face more against the captain's chest. Tears sliding down his face as he grew slightly more upset. His parent’s didn’t come and they promised.
Although, Oikawa had pulled away some to cup the silver males cheeks in his hands. His thumbs trying to wipe the others tears and he gave a comforting smile. “Of course I was. Screw them Kou-chan. You don’t need their opinion. Clearly it was good or else the whole gym wouldn’t be in tears! You even had Iwa-chan in tears and he hugged me! Now stop crying, those tears don’t look good on that pretty face of yours.”
Sugawara had turned pink in color at the others and actions, blinking up softly as he listened. He let out a faint giggle at how he brought Iwaizumi in tears. Oikawa had been right once more, he didn’t need his parent’s opinion, their opinion anyway was always harmful and it never helped him. He blushed even darker, huffing quietly as the other once more called him pretty. It was often that Oikawa had told him he was. They could just be cuddling and Oikawa would mumble he was pretty and other compliments. In those times, he knew he shouldn’t have been awake. He shouldn’t have been hearing what the brunette had mumbled to him.
“Right, I don’t need their opinion! But I guess my speech was good if I got Iwaizumi in tears over it! Can you imagine if I got Ushijima in tears? I would be a god then!” He giggled faintly, his voice soft and he nuzzled against Oikawa’s hands on his face.
Oikawa let out a laugh, his cheeks flushing pink in color as he felt the smaller boy nuzzle into his hands. His brown eyes staring down at the other and his heartbeat quickened inside of his chest. He needed to confess, this was the perfect time to do so but he couldn’t get the words out. All he could do was stare at Sugawara and sometimes his eyes would flicker to his cherry tinted lips. All of those pent up emotions getting to him, remembering the countless times Iwaizumi would tell him just to confess. He should’ve listened, he should’ve just confessed and maybe then he wouldn’t be so scared. So scared of time running out and losing Sugawara all together. He snapped out of it when the nickname for him was said, blinking softly as he looked at Sugawara.
“Ru..? You okay? You’ve been awfully silent,” Sugawara had tilted his head some as he asked. His brown eyes lighting up with concern for the brunette.
Oikawa had nodded his head, giving a reassuring smile to the smaller. “I’m okay Kou-chan. I have a weird question though..you can say no. Can I.. can I kiss you?” His voice was hesitant as he asked. His cheeks burning a darker red color and his heart beating out of his chest.
Sugawara blushed a dark red color and his eyes had widened just a little. Oikawa just asked to kiss him? It took him to register it before he nodded his head. His brown eyes staring up at the other and he gave a shy smile. It would only take a second before a pair of lips had touched his own, the softness of Oikawa’s lips touching his own was an electric feeling. He kissed the male back and he let his eyes close. His arms snaked around the others neck and he then would feel a pair of arms around his waist. He felt alive in that moment and for once he felt okay with getting older. His regrets of never confessing were put to rest and so were Oikawa’s.
The two kissed as if the world had stopped for them, kissing in each other's arms out in the midsummer air outside the gym. Both boys were happy, both of their worries seeming to melt away and leave them nothing with happy feelings. They would be growing up, they would change and their futures would shift around, but they both knew one thing. They both knew they would be growing old together and in each other's arms they would find themselves. They weren’t scared of the future, they now had each other and that was the most important thing. During this whole thing, a few people had stepped outside of the gym and smiled softly at the two boys. Some clapping and some whistling, which caused them to pull away. Sugawara hid his face against Oikawa’s chest and Oikawa gave a small laugh, ignoring how Iwaizumi sent him a look that said ‘finally’.
The group laughed together though, Daichi gave a small cough and that earned a huff from Sugawara. Sugawara let go of Oikawa and headed over to where Daichi was, bringing him into a hug. The two hugged and each of them shed tears when realizing they would be separating. It wasn’t long before Oikawa and Iwaizumi had also joined the hug, all four of them trying to hold onto each other. They had graduated and now he wasn’t scared to grow up anymore.
For he would be growing up with hopefully Oikawa by his side and the other two also by his side.