Chapter Text
Chapter 1
Sylvain decided that it was probably best to just remain still, let Paola do as she pleased. The older woman had already unpacked and repacked his things, forced him to eat twice, and paused to hold back tears a grand total of four times. He feared she’d lose her sanity if he tried to do anything without her explicit orders. Currently she was digging through the closet muttering about a shirt Sylvain hadn’t seen since sophomore year. He could barely hear what Paola was saying, but he knew that it didn’t really matter, she was just stalling for time.
“It was the one you wore to homecoming, or was it your brother's graduation? Doesn’t matter, it was a button up, brought out your eyes, it matched with Ingrid’s dress, how is she by the way, you haven’t mentioned her in a while,,,”
It just went on and on, Sylvain added in small sounds of acknowledgement wherever it was appropriate, pretending that he didn’t care, all while savoring every moment. As much as he’d love to let Paola continue on, he did have a schedule to stick to and his phone said that it was already 8:48. Felix was probably already pulling through the gate so he could be exactly ten minutes early. He felt a quick rush of urgency, but after carefully mulling it over, he decided Felix could wait. Sylvain really was going to miss Paola’s mother hen tendencies. Besides, he couldn’t pass up the opportunity of mildly inconveniencing his friend.
In the moment he was distracted by thought, Paola had somehow left his closet and crossed the room to his dresser. She was holding something close to her chest. And he had to strain to see what it was.
“I remember when you earned this trophy I was so proud of you,” She said.
Sylvain stood from the bed so he could see which one she was holding, “That one? It’s just a participation prize. Are you sure you didn’t mean this one?” He picked up the biggest one, his soccer team had won district the year before, not like it was a huge deal or anything. Just that it had ended a twenty year victory drought for his school.
“Hold this one so when I remember this moment I’ll look better.”
Paola, used to his nonsense, just ignored him, “It’s my favorite because it was the first time you ever stuck around long enough to earn even a consolation prize. Plus, you looked cute in those long socks” She sat down with a faint smile on her face, and turned to face Sylvain, “Now look at you, eighteen, off to college, all grown up.” She had to stop talking, Sylvain could see her eyes starting to well up, and there was no holding back tears this time. Not knowing what to do he set the big trophy back down and stood awkwardly by his bed. Without thinking, Sylvain began to pull at his right sleeve cuff with his left hand. It was a habit he had been meaning to stop, during SAT’s he had pulled his left cuff until it looked like a bell bottom jean. But for his hand.
Paola made a quite strangled noise startling Sylvain. He plunged his hands into his pockets, vowing never to do the nervous tic once he left. Paola was still clutching the trophy and was trying to take deep, steady breaths to compose herself. Sylvain started to reach out to her but quickly realized he didn’t actually know what to do to comfort her. So instead he scooped up his duffle bag full of clothes and tried to abscond before the uncontrollable ugly sobs started coming.
He was halfway down the stairs when Paola caught up to him again, and she was brandishing what appeared to be his bag of toiletries as a club.
“Don’t you run from me, Brat,” Apparently he’d been wrong, it had been very easy to control her tears, “I should slap you upside the head. But we’re on the stairs. I don’t want you falling.” She pushed passed him and marched to the bottom of the stairs, “Come”
Sylvain laughed, “Well now I don’t want to, you’ve already made it clear what you’re about to do. I’d rather avoid any unnecessary pain.”
“You can’t stay up there forever, I have your toothbrush. Which you so carelessly forgot in your haste to get away from me.”
Before Sylvain could retort, a honk came from outside, causing them both to jump.
“Oh”, Paola gasped, “That must be Felix,” She grinned up at him, “Now you have to come down to me.”
Sylvain didn’t respond, only ran down the stairs full force, lunging for the bag she was holding. Paola had to jump out of the way, laughing as Sylvain futilely grasped for his things. Even though Sylvain had a foot and twenty years on her, he couldn’t wrench the bag from her grip. Paola gave an almost witch-like cackle, “The trick is that once I let go of this bag, I have to let go of you too, and I don’t want to do that either.”
Sylvain made another attempt at the bag, once again failing, “Well now you're just holding me back, if you don’t let me go how will I get my degree, how will I have wild youthful romances. You single handedly are holding me back from meeting the girl of my dreams.”
An elbow to his gut, that wasn’t quite enough to hurt, shut him up. “I swear to God if you get a girl pregnant I’ll kill you myself.”
“No girl would want to be with me if you’re-”
‘Sylvain Jose Gautier!!” The shout came from behind them. Both Sylvain and Paola extricated themselves from the tangle and stood at attention. He cringed at the sight of his mother; pants suit, dark hair pulled into a tight bun, and flawless makeup she spent more time doing than she’d spend with Sylvain the whole week. It meant she was heading off to work. Not even slotting his departure into her schedule. That didn’t bother him though, he hated how all she did was lecture him about things that didn’t even matter. As she marched towards him, he mentally steeled himself for the one that was coming.
“You have a stain,” She pointed at a smudge of sauce just above his left breast, “Clean that before you leave.”
Sylvain groaned, “I have ‘a stain’ because I’m wearing all white, it’s bound to get dirty again so why bother cleaning it now.”
Mrs. Gautier sneered, “You will clean it because it is tradition, take it off,” it was embarrassing to disrobe in front of his mother, but he knew better than to refuse. He pulled the shirt off and thrusted it into his mothers arms. She only gave it a small glance of disdain before tossing it Paola. “Clean this”
“Yes Ma'am”
And suddenly Sylvain was alone with his mother
“You will wear that shirt as soon as it is cleaned, it is important that you respect the traditions of Garrag Mach University,” Sylvain resigned himself to another hour of this, “The white has meaning and it is meaning that you should well know. I wore it on my first day, as did you father, as did every other incoming Freshman and the fact that you would sully tradition in this way……” And on it went.
After only thirteen hours his mother’s rant was interrupted by another car horn. Sylvain quietly thanked God for Felix’s impatience. “While I’d love to stay, that’s my ride I’ve got to go.” He tried to push past his mother only for her to grab his wrist.
“Don’t you dare go outside without a shirt, you look like a homeless bum!”
Luckily Paola had returned at that moment with his shirt, stain-free, and somehow already dry. He was quick to snatch it from her hands, and race out the door, not listening to whatever his mother was shouting after him. With the door fully shut behind him, Sylvain took a deep breath as he put on his shirt. He paused to smile to himself, last time in a long while he’ll have to deal with his mother. He lugged the duffle over his shoulder and began down the steps, relishing his first moments of freedom. The air certainly felt cleaner, the sky bluer. His thoughts moved away from his years trapped in his parents house, onto the bright future that was college life.
It was then that his brief moment of tranquility came crashing down, Felix was driving away. Apparently he really did not appreciate being made to wait.
“It’s just one thing after another,” Sylvain muttered to himself, before taking off after the black car. It was lucky he was a decent runner, because Felix did not seem to be slowing down to let him in. Six years of soccer was finally coming in handy as he chased down his bastard of a friend. It was only when Felix reached the front gate that Sylvain caught up. Felix was punching in the code to be let out as Sylvain tugged open the passenger door and threw himself into the seat.
“You’re lucky your family has so much money you need a gate. I would have left you,” Felix had that same dour look he always had, and Sylvain could do nothing but pant, trying to catch his breath. Neither of them said anything as Felix pulled out of the driveway and onto the main road. Sylvain tossed his bag into the back, glad to be rid of the weight. He glanced over to see Felix staring ahead at the road, hands at a perfect ten and two.
“Two honks?” He asked, “You could have gotten out of your car and knocked. Or maybe have sent me a text ‘Hey, just a heads up, I know you’re my best friend and everything but I am about to abandon you in your time of need, just because you’re being a little slow XOXO love Felix’”
“One honk should have been enough.”
“Probably for the best that you’re an ass. If you had come to the door my mother would have seen you and that would have been bad. Not only for your current quality of life, but also because she thinks that Morgan is driving me?” That earned a confused glance from Felix, and Sylvain latched onto it.
“Do you not remember Morgan? We dated like a month back, after Allison but before Soibhan. She was one of my Dad’s Very Important Businessmen Colleagues ’s daughter. Had the pretty brown hair, long legs, kinda small boobs though. Anyways, my mom still thinks we’re dating, she wants us to be highschool sweethearts, grow up, get married, have a bunch of kids, combine our fathers assets, and then buy her the nicest nursing home on the market. Not sure why we broke up, to be honest. Whatever the reason, I think it was a good one and I obviously wasn’t in the wrong. Speaking of nursing homes, I think my dad is finally locking up my Aunt Margie, the 4th was the last straw...”
This was how most of their conversations went, Sylvain talked and talked about nonsense while Felix sat there and pretended(Sylvain hoped) to hate every second of it.
As he talked, Sylvain started to dig through Felix’s glove compartment, pulling aside car insurance and manuals, tossing them onto the ground at his feet.
“You’re going to put those back before we stop,” Felix once again without any notable inflection
“Don’t worry, don’t worry. Once I find what I’m looking for, everything will be back as it was before. You won’t even notice that I had been here”
Felix frowned at that, it was basically his go to emote, “And what are you looking for.”
“Pen, but it looks like I found something better,” He pulled out a folded piece of paper with handwriting on it. Sylvain gave it a quick scan before clearing his throat loudly to prep his spot on impression, “ ‘Dear Felix, my son ’ Great start, real loving Father vibes, ‘I have hidden this here because I know you don’t want to hear this in person,’ And yet I need you to know my feelings because they are more important. ’I just want you to know how happy I am that you made the GMU soccer team, I expect great things from you and want to be as proud of you as I was of your broth-’ ”
Felix snatched the paper with one hand, crumpled it up, and chucked it out the window, all without letting go of the steering wheel, “There’s a pen in the front pocket of my bag,”
Sylvain grinned, “As thanks for letting me have this pen I will forgive you for being an unashamed litterbug.” Felix only grunted in response as Sylvain unbuckled to try and get his bag. Sylvain had to crawl halfway into the back seat, bumping into Felix which earned him a shove. The pen was right where Felix had said it would be, along with a multitude of other school supplies. Which made Sylvain think about how he really should have bought some of his own. Pen in hand, Sylvain shimmied back into his seat. It was a fairly fancy pen, Felix really is so persnickety about his writing utensils. He started to unscrew the top so he could begin to dismantle it.
Felix spared him another glance, not bothering to ask what he was doing, “Put your seatbelt back on.”
“Can’t,” Sylvain laughed, “I don’t want to get any ink on your brand new car.” That certainly got his attention. Felix tried to lunge for the pen but it was too late. Sylvain was already snapping the tube full of ink, which promptly splattered his pristine clothing with jet black globs.
“I told my mom that they’d just get stained again” he continued his laugh even as Felix's grasping hand turned into a fist and slammed into the side of his head.
“What the Hell Sylvain!!” It was the first time any real intonation filled his voice, and Sylvain was filled with glee, “I just bought this car, don’t you dare let that ink get on my seats.”
“Sir, yes Sir,” Sylvain even added a mock salute. He then reached down to his stained shirt and pulled it over his head for the second that day. He balled the shirt up, ink on the inside. Then he stood up to go for the pants but Felix tried to stop him again.
“What are you doing?! Sit back down. Don’t get naked in my car!”
Sylvain slapped away Felix’s hand, causing the car to swerve, “I’m not stripping fully, I’ve got my underwear” He successfully pulled his no longer white pants off and pushed both them and the shirt out his window. The car swerved again as Felix tried to get back into his lane and several horns went off. “Eyes on the road buddy,” Sylvain loved riling him up, “I know I’m hot but this is the highway.”
Felix said nothing, knuckles white from gripping the steering wheel. Sylvain rolled the window back up and with the rushing air gone the car was suddenly very quiet. Sylvain did not like that. He once again reached into the back seat, this time for a new pair of clothes, calling back up to Felix, “Besides it’s not like you haven’t seen me naked hundreds of times, shouldn’t be anything new.”
Back in the front seat Sylvain wiggled into jeans and a new tee shirt, “Also I would like it to be known that it was not lost on me that I made fun of you for littering and then littered myself.” He pulled his seatbelt back on, remembering that Felix apparently cares about that. “In my defense, when I littered it was funny. Making it okay.”
Felix still didn’t respond, he was somehow staring at the road even more intently than before. The rage was practically flowing off of him in waves. It finally occurred to Sylvain that he might have gone too far. As much he liked to cause Felix strife, he didn’t actually like seeing him angry.
“Speaking of seeing a bunch of naked guys,” Sylvain said, “How was that GMU summer training thing?”
Felix grunted, “So now you actually care about what I have to say?” He sounded genuinely surprised, that hurt a bit.
“You know I hold onto your every word Felix.”
“Ha, I have a hard time believing that,” He said it with a shadow of a smile, so Sylvain counted it as a win. He glanced over at Sylvain, as if to make sure it was ok for him to continue. It was, of course, Sylvain was only half joking when he said he hung onto every word. Felix rarely talked so when he did, Sylvain wanted to listen. Unless it would be more fun to mess with him.
“It was fine.” He glanced at Sylvain again, still testing the waters, “I actually had a lot of fun, almost no one there knew anyone so I got to meet a lot of cool people.” Sylvain thought he saw Felix blush a little, but it was gone as soon as he saw it. “Not to brag but I already got invited to a party. Before we even made it to campus, I might add.” His ghost of a smile had turned into a smirk.
“Good for you man,” Sylvain gave him a light punch in the shoulder, “Not like you would ever go to a party though,”
Felix gave a small chuckle, “That’s true. But it still counts, how many parties did you get invited to?”
“That would be a big fat zero. It’s fine though. If you got invited places, I’m sure Dimitri did too. I’ll just get him to let me tag along.”
Felix’s face scrunched up, “Dimitri. What a pig headed fool.” Sylvain was floored, mouth agape.
“PIGHEADED FOOL!? What did he do!? Take the best spot on market day, forcing you to peddle your wares at a severe discount to attract the townsfolk to the shady alley you had to put your stand on!? But seriously. Do we not like Dimitri anymore?”
Felix’s face returned to his neutral disdained look, “Well I don’t like him anymore, you’re free to make your own judgment.”
“No, no, no, I’m all on board. Fuck Dimitri. What did he do?”
Felix smiled, just a smidge, but Sylvain could tell. “I dunno, he was just a real asshole the whole time, I mostly avoided him the whole training camp.” Siri interjected with directions that Felix followed promptly, “You could have seen for yourself if you had tried out, you could have easily made the team.”
“I know I could have, I was the best on the team.” He wasn’t and they both knew, “Besides soccer is a thing of the past. We’re about to be in college, we can leave anything we want behind. All that highschool drama is a thing of the past. We can be whole new people if we want to be. The only thing that’s certain is that we’ll be moving onto bigger and better things.”
Felix actually laughed at that, “Like what?”
“Who knows, but by definition they will be better. Plus, I was only on the soccer team so I could pick up chicks, and we both know that worked amirite?”
Felix groaned, “This is going to be a long two hours.”
The conversation continued on to more pointless things, but that didn’t make Sylvain unhappy. In fact he was an expert and blathering about nothing and enjoyed when others engaged in the same. But eventually the conversation did die out, and they sat without speaking. Which for Felix was basically the same as before but with a little more peace of mind. For Sylvain though, it was a little harder. Felix didn’t listen to music while driving because he was a psychopath and Sylvain didn’t really have the energy to fight for it at the moment. So he sat in silence watching as the city faded and turned into tall trees and big hills. He really was looking forward to GMU, but he couldn’t quite put his heart into it. He leaned his head against the window, feeling the rumble of the car down in his teeth. He only sat back up when a sign passed by.
‘Garreg Mach University, Faith, Education, Prosperity ’ -20 Miles
He took a deep breath, not sure if he was entirely ready to start the next phase of his life.
“You’re upset.” Felix’s voice made him jump. Sylvain turned to face him, but Felix was still looking dead ahead, focused on driving.
“No I’m not, I think you’re projecting. You’re probably still upset about me breaking your pen.”
All Felix had to do was give Sylvain a stern look, “You’re right, I’m still hurt that you almost ditched me for being just a little late.”
“No.” was all he said.
Sylvain sighed, “Fine” he leaned his head back against the window, closing his eyes, “I didn’t get to say goodbye to Paola.”
“That sucks.” Sylvain smiled, because he knew Felix meant it.