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Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Taiga repeated this for a good minute, ending it with a final deep breath. He had noticed himself getting episodes where he's short of breath and he figured it must be because he was out of practice after his last supposed musical got cancelled. He recently picked up vocal lessons once again thinking it might actually help.
"You're early." A voice said from behind him and before Taiga could turn around, a hand was ruffling his hair and he was met with the charming smile of his member.
"Didn't know we had the same schedule today, Juri." Taiga said as he watched the younger take out a bottle of energy drink and a tomato juice, handing the latter to Taiga. He smiled happily thanking Juri. The younger man had been doing this ever since the first time Taiga blurted out about having tomato juice before the lesson. At first, Taiga thought it's a one time thing, but three weeks have passed and each time they had the same schedule for the lesson, Juri would bring him the tomato juice. He was grateful but he also thought it's really sweet of him. After all, Juri's mom probably stocked his apartment with the same tomatoes she sends over to his mom yearly
"You should check with the manager once in a while, Kyomo." Juri snickered and shook his head while Taiga looked on. He realized he'd been holding his breath because the instructor suddenly came in and Taiga exhaled. He thinks he's really being weird these days.
The vocal lesson started as usual, with routine practice and some breathing exercises. Both of them have the same exercises since Juri took the lessons because he was casted for Dream Boys recently and wanted to improve his vocal ability for stage. After that, they would practice pieces in turn. For Taiga, it's mostly Newsies pieces, just in case it gets revived. For Juri, it's his piece for Dream Boys.
"Kyomoto-kun, focus. You're holding your breath longer before that line." The instructor pointed out. He didn't even notice he was holding his breath. He met Juri's eyes who was sitting on the side, watching his practice, who just smiled at him reassuringly. There were a few more of those moments during the entire lesson, and he was honestly disappointed in himself after. He was always hard on himself, and it's something he's learning to change. But habits die hard.
"Are you feeling okay? You know you can skip the lessons if you're not in a good shape." Juri told him on their way to their next schedule which is filming for their YouTube.
"Nah, I'm okay. I'm just feeling weird recently." Taiga replied. He knew he was okay but he couldn't pinpoint what's wrong with him. Even the instructor had told him before that he was great and perfect on some days, and the other days, just like today, he seems to be having problems.
"Take a break if you need to. And also. Don't be hard on yourself, Kyomo." Juri said, tapping the top of his head lightly before entering the room first, leaving Taiga stopped in his place. Juri has always been considerate and nice, and he always looks out for others because he's very attentive of everyone. Even Taiga thinks he likes this side of Juri a lot since he isn't the same. Those words were helpful to lift his spirits up though, and he soon followed inside where the others are waiting.
Two days later, Taiga had another lesson, but this time, he is with Kouchi. Members have been taking vocal lessons as much as they can so the schedules for members aren't exactly the same each time. He received great feedback from the instructor today when he hit a not steadily that he had some trouble with before.
"That was amazing, Kyomoto-kun. Keep up the good work." The instructor told him proudly and Taiga was elated. Even he thinks that he was in a great condition and was satisfied.
"That was great, Taiga. Juri's worries are unfounded." Kouchi said nudging Taiga lately on their way to eat out after the lesson.
"What do you mean?" Taiga asked curiously.
"Ah. Juri contacted me a while ago. He said during your lessons you seem to be having problems so he told me to look out for you. Well, me and Jesse too. It's a given though that we'll look out for you, but we told him during our lessons, you were doing fine. Jesse said the same thing." Kouchi shrugged. Taiga appreciates that Juri worries for him but something clicked in his mind.
"You know, I think I just realized something.." Taiga said a bit to Kouchi but more to himself.
"Yeah? What is it?" Kouchi inquired as they found a seat at the cafeteria of the jimusho after lining up for their meal.
"The times that I was unusually not okay is during lessons with Juri. Maybe I am not comfortable with Juri being in the same lesson?" Taiga wondered but Kouchi just laughed at him.
"Uncomfortable? There's no discomfort between you two. You even hold hands like you're a couple." Kouchi shook his head and Taiga definitely felt a rush of blood to his cheeks at that.
"Hold on… wait…" Kouchi saw Taiga's expression and something clicked. "Taiga. Do you like Juri? Like that?"
"W-what do you mean,," Taiga couldn't comprehend what Kouchi was implying, or more like, he didn't want to comprehend that.
"Oh wow. Now it makes sense. Oh woaah.." Kouchi had this look of realization on his face but Taiga could see more of an amusement there.
"What makes sense??" Taiga was curious.
"I told you Juri told us to look after you right? And I did. And you know, I might've witnessed a few times when you would suddenly freeze or hold your breath when Juri's around. Mostly when he's near you. I didn't think it could be something about you having feelings for him. Oh man.. It's not that you were being bad at what you're good at. You're just unaware of his effect on you. You mentioned it was only when you're in lessons with Juri too. That really made sense now." Kouchi said all of these and Taiga's head was a mush.
"No no wait. It's not like that. I mean, we all like Juri because he was kind and considerate, but I don't like him that way. And does Juri even go for guys? Didn't he have a fling just recently?" Taiga denied. He wasn't convinced it was like Kouchi said.
"Hmm okay. But see for yourself one of these days." Kouchi smirked, amused at the last words of the younger man.
Taiga was surely aware of Juri after that, the vocal lessons with him, the practices with groups, the radio job, he can't seem to stop noticing it and it's all because of what Kouchi said.
A month after, Juri had noticed that he's not getting any vocal lessons with Taiga for quite a while, so he found out from the instructor that Taiga asked his lessons to not be matched with his. This rubbed Juri the wrong way. He couldn't think of anything that he did wrong to the older man.
"Kyomo. Can we talk?" Juri approached Taiga after their dance rehearsals. He immediately could tell the older man was trying to run away from him so he held his wrist.
"Did I do something wrong? I thought my schedule was just packed, that's why our lessons are not matching but I found out today it's because you asked to not have lessons with me. Now that I think of it, you seem to be avoiding me for the past month. If I did something wrong, please tell me?" Juri almost begged with his voice and face. Taiga didn't speak and never looked straight in Juri's eyes, so the latter soon let him go.
"I don't know what I did wrong. I'm not gonna say sorry for something I don't know. I'll be the same, and you can avoid me as much as you want, but I'll be the same as I've been to you before. Okay? Jaa, take care going home." Juri left after patting his head and Taiga felt bad. After what he did, Juri was still nice to him.
"What's up with you two? No, actually, what's up with you?" Kouchi came afterwards on their way home and tapped his back. All members were still there when that happened so they heard everything.
"It's because of what you said. Ah shit, this is bad. Why is Juri so nice?!" Taiga complained and not in a way that he's blaming Kouchi.
"What did I say??" Kouchi asked.
"You asked if I liked him that way." Taiga murmured to himself. Kouchi didn't follow up and waited for him to continue.
"I do, okay! I do.. damn, I do like Juri that way. I didn't want to admit it so I tried keeping my distance, working around my schedule so we don't have the lessons together.." Taiga sighed, feeling defeated and guilty.
"Oh wow. Oooh, you did realize it finally? But man, that's really mean of you." Kouchi reprimanded him.
"I know.. but what can I do? It's not like I can just say I did that because I don't want to fall for him or uncrush him right?!" Taiga groaned in frustration. "He said he won't be sorry for something he didn't know he did so he will act the same."
"Really? Juri is really nice huh. No wonder girls and boys are attracted to him." Kouchi nodded. "I think you should just tell him. You don't have to confess if you don't want to, but at least tell him he didn't do anything wrong to you." The older man advised, patting his back.
After that, their schedules continued like usual and Juri still interacted with him like before. The only thing that changed is probably the amount of attention Juri gave him. Sure he still cared for Taiga like before, but it seemed careful and limited. He never gave him tomato juice anymore. He still talks to him, but Taiga would notice when Juri would pull back on touching him. He kinda misses the head pats, if he's honest. It went on for months and Taiga still never told Juri. Until one day, when he found Juri patting Hokuto's head. There was something about it that ticked him off. Was he jealous? But Juri only head pats him like that, and now he never does it and seeing him do it to another, it sparked something inside him.
"J-Juri." Before Taiga can think, his body moved by itself and he found himself holding at the edge of Juri's shirt.
"Kyomo? What's up?" Juri turned to him in surprise. It's the first time in months that the older man approached him first, so he was definitely surprised. Hokuto excused himself but not with a lingering look. Juri acknowledged his leave and turned back to Taiga.
"Kyomo?" Juri asked again because Taiga was still holding on to his shirt but not looking at him. Juri haven't been able to understand him since that time months ago, so he sighed. "Did I do anything wrong again?"
Taiga bit his lip, tightening his grip on Juri's shirt, he spoke. "Headpats were mine.." It was so low and soft that the other didn't catch it and asked him to repeat it.
"...pat my head too! Why are you not patting my head anymore?! But you pat him?!" He sounded like a child even to himself, unreasonable and whiny. He waited for Juri's reply but only felt the gentle hand on his hand.
"Calm down, Kyomo. Let's go somewhere." Juri spoke no more and held Taiga's hand leading them to a place where there's only them. Taiga was left on the bench until Juri came back with a canned drink, handing it to him and sitting beside him.
"So? What was that about?" Juri started in his calm and casual voice. Taiga had calmed down so what he did earlier had already sunk in and he's feeling very embarrassed. "You were ignoring me for months. Are you ready to talk to me now?" Juri continued. Taiga knew it was long overdue. He wanted to talk to him way back before, but he didn't realize months had passed.
"You didn't do anything wrong." Taiga started and Juri hummed. "It's.." Taiga was struggling to tell him so he took a deep breath and gathered his courage. "It's me. I'm sorry I avoided you by not matching our vocal lessons and even after that, I avoided you. I.. That time, you thought I had problems, but I soon realized that only happens when you're around."
"So, it was my fault." Juri offered but Taiga looked at him and shook his head frantically.
"No! No, no, it's not like that. Back then, I didn't know what it was. At first, I thought it's just because it's you that I get so distracted but I realized.." His cheeks is tinted pink now, struggling to say the words. Confessing is really hard, he realized.
"Don't give headpats to others. Only give them to me." Taiga said and Juri blinked, confused for a second.
"Kyomo. What do you mean?" Juri asked, now turning to face him.
"I mean I like you so don't give headpats to Hokuto or to anyone else!" Taiga was annoyed so he stood up saying that. He saw Juri's surprised face, speechless and the silence that stretched between them made him blush even more, too embarrassed to confess like that. "Geez..!"
Taiga turned motioning to run but his hand was caught by Juri's. His heart was beating fast, unsure if it was because he was embarrassed, or because he finally confessed, or because Juri was holding his hand right at this moment. And then suddenly, arms where wrapped around him, his back against a comfortable chest. Taiga's eyes widened, he isn't sure what was happening at all.
"You could've just said so from the beginning.. I thought you really hated me and I did something wrong to you." Taiga could hear the relief in Juri's voice. He felt for him but like, there were multiple things he needed to understand here. What does Juri mean, why is he hugging him, why--
"Headpats are yours only. So don't ignore me anymore hm?" Juri said by his ear, tightening his hug. Taiga was pleased with that since that's what he demanded earlier, but it feels a little off. He was not satisfied with that so he pulled away and faced him.
"No, I mean, yeah I want that, but.. didn't you hear what I said a minute ago? I said, I like you." Taiga repeated, embarrassment now gone. He was more concerned with this vague answer. Juri was nice and all, but on relationships, he was the type to not commit and Taiga was suddenly worried. Juri just smiled at him, that oh so charming smile that made Taiga's heartbeat beat a little bit faster. But he tried to stay strong. Sure, he confessed, but he can't settle for being his side person. It's either Juri rejects him or be with him, no vague relationships.
"Hm? Ah." With a smirk, Juri reached for his cheeks and moved closer, pressing their lips together in a soft and gentle kiss. It isn't Taiga's first kiss with a man, he did it during a stageplay he starred in years ago. But doing it for real was something else. It felt like time stopped and he could only feel Juri's lips against his, his eyes fluttering in slow motion. It felt like forever that he was shocked until the warm lips left his and he stared at Juri.
"I like you too, Kyomo." Juri said with the sweetest voice and smile ever. And Taiga, his breath hitched, charmed by this man. He wasn't sick or had problems in his ability. His breath was just caught by someone.