Work Text:
She wakes him up past midnight.
A muffled sound at first, hysterical crying barely a few seconds later. Nesta does as much as shift in her sleep and mumble a couple of intelligible sounds, but she doesn’t wake up. And he doesn’t blame her, really — she’s barely had a full night of proper sleep in three days.
And plus, the moment he hears her cries, he’s fully awake in a heartbeat.
Cassian enters the nursery quietly, his sight already adjusted to the darkness. His eyes immediately land on the white crib at the end of the room, where his little baby girl is kicking her legs and waving her arms in discomfort.
“Hey, little princess,” he smiles down at his daughter as she continues to scream her lungs out, “Bit whiny, huh? Let’s see.”
Cassian picks her up carefully, afraid she’ll break under his strong grip, and he’s ashamed to admit that he still hasn’t gotten used to holding her with confidence after three full months.
Their daughter was born a tiny baby, and she hasn’t grown that much since. So fragile, like a spring flower, and all he wants to do is protect her, yet he’s afraid he’ll do the exact opposite. Nesta keeps telling him that he’ll never hurt her, because he’s literally incapable of such a thing, and he really wants to believe his mate, but...
It’s not like he has the best examples to look up to when it comes to fatherhood, although so far he’s feeling confident. At least he’s had Rhysand give him some pieces of useful advice, yet Nyx was a very different baby.
Despite his mild insecurities, his little sunshine seems to like him well enough, especially when he rocks her between his arms. She usually quiets down once he holds her, but not tonight.
The baby keeps crying as he rocks her from side to side, and Cassian soon finds out that she didn’t wake up just because, “Let’s get you changed, little one.”
He lays her down carefully on her changing mat, and it’s pretty clear that she’s not amused by it, “Shh, calm down, sweetheart. We don’t want to wake Mommy up, do we?,” he runs a soothing finger through her dark hair, and she seems to calm down at the contact.
“Good girl,” he smiles as she’s finally on her clean diapers, the loud screaming now turned into soft whimpers. So he picks her up again, and starts walking across the room and back in an attempt to make her fall asleep.
The House of Wind falls completely quiet, except for his daughter’s intermittent but soft whimpers and his bare footsteps on the hardwood floor. He can only hope Nesta is getting a decent sleep, at least.
A few minutes later, his daughter has undoubtedly fallen asleep, but Cassian can’t bring himself to put her down on her crib just yet. He takes her closer to the window, where the faint lights of Velaries shine on her little face, and he’s immediately mesmerised by her.
Cassian can’t believe this little human is half his, half the love of his life. He can’t believe they created something so pure, so perfect, that he’d give his life for in a heartbeat. Her long lashes rest against her pale skin as she snores softly. She’s perfect, and she takes his breath away.
She has him wrapped around her little finger, there’s no doubt about that.
“My little girl, my sweet princess,” he whispers then, gently so he doesn’t wake her up, “Daddy loves you so much, do you know that? With all his heart.”
His daughter keeps snoring softly, and he smiles to himself at the sight of her. She’s so tiny, so fragile, he wishes he could protect her forever.
“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, princess. I love you more than anything or anyone else in the whole world. I can’t believe how happy you make me,” he continues, and just then the baby’s arms move a little, and he momentarily freaks out.
But she doesn’t wake up, so Cassian takes the chance to give her his finger, even if she can’t really see it, and to his surprise she wraps her small hand around it. His heart melts away. His little girl is holding his finger in her sleep, and he’s pretty sure he’s never felt a kind of love stronger than this.
“Your Mommy and I are completely and utterly in love with you. Yes, we are,” he softly brushes his nose against her hair, breathing her in. God, he loves her so damn much.
Cassian continues to swaddle her gently, the darkness of the room wrapping around him until there’s nothing more than his daughter, his whole universe, “You’re the love of my life, princess. You make me want to wake up everyday just to be your father. I can’t wait to watch you grow up, although it scares me a lot,” he chuckles softly to himself, eyes threatening to fill with joyful tears, “But I’m sure you’ll become an incredible and fierce woman, just like your Mommy.”
Right after his words, he hears a soft sound behind him, the unmistakable sound of footsteps against the hardwood floor. He turns around and, sure enough, his mate is standing right at the door, a sleepy smile on her face.
“How long have you been standing there for?”, he swallows, feeling disappointed that he actually woke her up, “You need to sleep, Nes.”
His mate only smiles, “I’d rather be watching this.”
She walks up to him and wraps her arms around his middle, resting her head on the firm muscles of his bare back as he gently sways their daughter in his arms and hums some song she can’t recognise. This is what peace feels like.
“She’s asleep,” Cassian murmurs then, “Sorry we woke you up.”
Nesta shakes her head, because this is far better than any dream she could be having right now, “I love you, Cassian,” she says then, “Both of us love you so much. You’re the best father she could ever ask for.”
His heart fills with love at her words, but the fear of not being good enough for their little girl soon comes crashing in. He’d hate himself if he ever broke her heart, if he became the kind of father his own dad was. Or wasn’t. Deep down, however, he knows his insecurities are just that.
He’s in love with his two girls. He deserves this family. He deserves a happy ending. They both do.
“Let’s go back to bed, babe,” Nesta says softly as she plants a small kiss on his back, making him shiver.
“I don’t want to leave her,” Cassian almost pouts, and looks down at the small bundle of joy between his arms, who’s snoring peacefully.
Nesta chuckles, “We’re just down the hall, Cass,” she presses a faint kiss to her daughter’s head, and whispers her goodnight.
He knows he won’t win this one, so he eventually puts her down carefully into her crib, and covers her with her little lavender blanket Elain and Feyre gifted them the day she was born. His daughter always falls asleep with this blanket around her, something that Nesta’s sisters are pretty proud of. Aunties know best, as they’d put it themselves.
“Sleep well, princess,” Cassian murmurs softly as he tucks her in. “I love you with all my soul,” he takes one last look at her, and smiles.
His little girl, his sunshine, his whole universe.
Cassian has never felt luckier.