Archive of Our Own ^beta

The first thing Vanden noticed was the softness of the bed underneath him. Next came the dull ache in his ribs and head. Memories came back in pieces. Fighting. Seeing Cassian fall, and pulling him back to his feet. Not noticing the beast’s huge tail until it was coming directly for him. Astra and Sariel screaming, one in pain, the other in terror. The tail, slamming into him. Being thrown against hard stone. And then. . . nothing.

He opened his eyes to a dimly lit room he didn’t recognize. It was dark outside. The only light in the room was a single, floating orb which hovered beside the bed, illuminating Cassian, who sat in a chair, awake, but clearly deep in thought, his eyes unfocused. They were the only two in the room.

“Cassian?” Vanden rasped, surprising himself with the dryness of his voice.

Cassian immediately looked down, relief flooding his face. “Thank the Gods,” he sighed, “I thought we’d lost you.”

“The others?” Vanden asked.

“They’re fine. Astra took a nasty hit to the leg, but he’ll be alright. We’re in a temple to Avandra,” he added, “You weren’t waking up, so we thought it best to take you where you could get proper healing.”

“That fight. . .” Vanden’s voice was still raspy, “What happened? I remember that thing’s tail hitting me, and nothing after that.”

“You flew backwards,” Cassian’s words were measured and toneless, but Vanden could see the effort it was taking him to keep emotion off his face, “And you slammed into the rocks. Sariel sent her hare to heal you, but. . . you were still unconscious. You hit your head pretty badly on the rock. I killed the thing—it was on its last legs already—and we brought you here as quickly as we could. That was mid evening, about four hours ago.”

The door to the room swung open, and a middle aged half-elf in sky blue clerical robes walked in. Cassian conjured two more dancing lights. The cleric smiled at Vanden, “Good! You’re awake.” He crossed over to the foot of the bed, and sat down, careful to avoid Vanden’s legs. “I just need you to do a few quick things for me, so I can ensure that we’ve properly healed up any potential concussion or other issues.”

“Okay,” rasped Vanden.

“Here,” the man pulled a cup from a pocket in his robe and held a hand over it. The cup filled with water. He passed it to Vanden, who took a sip. “Okay, first of all, do you remember what happened?”
“Yes,” answered Vanden, voice far less dry, “Up until I was knocked out.”

“So no missing memory of any sort?”

With a wry expression, Vanden replied, “No.”

“Can you tell me what year it is?”

“1744.”

“And how old are you?”

“24.”

The cleric glanced at Cassian for confirmation. He nodded.

“Just one last thing,” the cleric held out his hand, pointer finger raised, “Follow my finger with your eyes.”

Vanden did, trying not to turn his head too much, as it was now aching in earnest.

“Okay,” the cleric sat back, “It seems like you’re fine. No signs of concussion or amnesia. We’d like you to stay overnight, just to be on the safe side. I’ll give you some more healing now, which should lessen the pain, and then someone will be in to do the same in the morning.”

“Okay,” said Vanden. He sighed in relief as the healing spell was cast. The pain in his head dulled substantially, and he could hardly feel it in his ribs anymore. 

“Better?” the cleric asked.

“Yes, much. Thank you.”

“Thank you very much,” said Cassian.

“Of course,” said the cleric. He stood, speaking to Vanden as he did so, “Your friend’s a good one. Has hardly left your side since you arrived.” He made for the door. As he went, he turned and said, “Get some sleep, both of you.” With that, he left. 

Cassian turned his gaze down to Vanden, who looked very haggard. Gently, he brushed some stray hairs out of his face. Vanden hummed quietly in response, and turned almost imperceptibly towards Cassian’s hand. Cassian took it as encouragement, and gently stroked Vanden’s hair.

“Cassian?” Vanden whispered a minute or so later.

“Yes?”

“I could have died. I almost died.”

“Yes,” Cassian’s hand stilled in Vanden’s hair.

“Either of us could die any day. . . I wouldn’t want things to go unsaid,” he paused for a long moment, “What are we? What am I to you?”

Cassian sighed. “I don’t know.” He caught Vanden’s frown. “I don’t know what we are, but I do know that I want you.”

“In what way?”

“All the ways. I want to have your back in battle, and kiss you, and hold your hand, and touch you anywhere you’ll let me,” he smiled softly, “I just want you, Vanden, however you’ll let me have you.”

“I want you too. Even if you are an asshole on purpose sometimes.”

Cassian’s smile turned devious, “Maybe I’m just trying to goad you into shoving me up against a wall again.”

Vanden pretended to glare at him, before grabbing him by the collar and yanking him down into a kiss. Cassian was taken by surprise, but caught his balance quickly, leaned over the bed. Vanden kissed harder than expected. There was something desperate and hungry about it. He was still holding Cassian’s collar, pulling him ever closer, and his other hand slid up the side of Cassian’s neck to rest against his jaw.

Cassian returned the kisses, revelling in the hungry neediness of it. They’d never kissed like this, not with this desperation mixed in fervor. Vanden only kissed harder, rougher, teeth grazing lips and biting down lightly. He groaned as Cassian’s tongue slid into his mouth.

After a few more minutes of this, Cassian steeled himself and drew back. “As much as I’m enjoying this,” he said, panting slightly, “The others told me to fetch them the moment you woke.”

Vanden licked his swollen lips, “ Fine .”

Cassian rose to leave, but Vanden grabbed his hand. “Don’t go.”

“Okay,” he sat back down, “I’ll write to Sariel.” He pulled out his book and balanced it on his knees. Vanden still hadn’t relinquished his hand, so he had to rather awkwardly scribble a note onto the wobbling book. ‘Vanden’s awake. You can come see him. He’s okay.’

It was a minute before Sariel’s response came back. ‘I’ll fetch Astra. Be there soon.’

“Sariel says they’ll be here soon.”

Vanden nodded, “Okay.” He took Cassian’s hand in both of his own and held it close to his cheek.

They sat in silence until the door swung open once more, this time revealing Astra and Sariel. Both looked tired, and Astra walked with a bit of a limp, but they were otherwise okay. They both smiled at Vanden and approached.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” said Astra, taking a seat at the foot of the bed.

“We were worried about you, angel,” added Sariel. 

“Well, I’m fine now. Or I will be.”

“The cleric said he should be good to go come morning. They just want to give him healing one last time,” Cassian explained.

“That’s good,” said Astra. They turned to Vanden, “How are you feeling?”

“I’ve been better,” he replied with a weak laugh, “How’s your leg.”

“Oh, this?” they waved a dismissive hand, “It’s nothing. I’ll be right as rain soon enough.”

“It’s very good to see you awake, Vanden,” said Sariel, tears beading at the corners of her eyes, “I really thought we’d lost you.”

“Hey, hey,” Vanden freed one of his hands and held it out to her, “I’ll be fine, okay? It’s going to take more than some monster to kill me.”

Sariel took his offered hand, nodding through her tears.

The four of them spent a few more minutes in quiet, enjoying each other’s company, grateful that the others were even alive. Cassian finally broke the silence, “Everyone should get some sleep. Vanden and Astra in particular.”

Sariel nodded, “You’re right.” She looked to Cassian and Vanden’s entwined hands, and smiled softly. “Come on, Astra. Let’s go to bed.”

“Good night, Vanden, Cassian,” said Astra.

With that, the two left the room, leaving Cassian and Vanden alone once more. Vanden sighed and leaned his cheek against Cassian’s hand. 

“Is it bad that I just want to kiss you all night?” 

“No, but you shouldn’t. You must be exhausted.”

“Only a little,” he lied.

“You need to sleep, Vanden.”

Vanden pouted at him, “Fine, but only if you join me.” He scooted to the side, making room in the narrow cot.

Silently, Cassian slipped out of his shoes and crawled into the bed. It really wasn’t designed for two people, but neither of them minded the closeness. 

Vanden yawned and Cassian raised an eyebrow at him. “Only a little tired, hmm?”

“Okay, maybe a lot tired.”

Cassian’s expression softened, “Sleep now, angel.”

Obediently, Vanden nuzzled his face into Cassian’s neck and put an arm around his waist. He held their still clasped hands between them. “Goodnight, Cassian.”

Cassian wrapped his free arm around Vanden, holding him closer, so very glad that this man was still alive. “Goodnight, Vanden. Sleep well.”