Archive of Our Own

Kitty did not like Audrey. Not only had Audrey made it perfectly clear that Kitty was an outsider and not likely to be accepted ever, she continually looked down her nose at everything Kitty did and was smug when things went wrong for Kitty. She also insisted on being at war with Richard. And so Richard’s (what Kitty called) 'obsession' with pleasing Audrey was even more infuriating. Where was his loyalty to her - his own wife?

She had heard the rumours about Richard and Audrey - spotted coming out of the woods together, brushing off their clothes; a romantic picnic spoiled by the Scouts raft race, and; Audrey’s tale of her engagement to Richard which ultimately saved his precarious financial situation and allowed him to keep control of Cavendish and Grantleigh. Richard denied it all of course, there was nothing between them he insisted, they had onlt been friends. Now Kitty looked around the bedroom as she walked out to leave the manor. 

Audrey followed the events at the manor with her binoculars. It looked like Kitty was going on a holiday, on her own, and Audrey was both excited and relieved at the thought of her absence. In Audrey’s opinion Kitty was not suited to the country lifestyle. From her high end, flashy fashion to her lack of interest in anything rural it was bound to end in disaster. Then there was unbearable jealousy and anger that Audrey harbored from Richard marrying another woman. It was almost too much to bear. But bear it she had, for fourteen long months now. 

What had seemed to be a promising encounter went wrong and instead of bringing Audrey and Richard closer together, ended in them being torn apart. If only that encounter had have been six months later, Audrey often mused, when she had inherited the bulk of Uncle Greville’s estate. If only she had been braver in sharing with Richard her true feelings for him that night. It was too late now. He had hardly waited a month after that encounter in announcing his engagement to Kitty Windsor-Smythe. 

The hurt was too much to take and had manifested as anger and resentment of Richard. He could do no right, no matter how hard he tried. In fact, their relationship had disintegrated to a new low in the last few weeks after a particularly nasty attack Audrey had orchestrated against Richard and Kitty, or ‘the cat’ as she liked to call her. 

Richard waited at the bottom of the grand staircase for Kitty. She swept down, barely acknowledging him and he admired her composure and resilience in the face of what she had experienced at Grantleigh. He should have expected it of course, based on his own early days there. But Kitty was impatient and condescending and even without Audrey’s interference the locals could not take to her. 

She was a beautiful woman with the prettiest face he had ever seen and a figure any Bond girl would kill for. Unfortunately, her initial charm had worn away and Richard found her to be self-centered, nasty and still immature at 28. She was continually threatened by Audrey’s presence, despite them not being on good terms and complained about everything. It was clear that she wanted to be back in London. 

Despite her behaviour, Richard felt to blame for, at least, some of it. He should be more attentive to her and her needs, his mother had made it clear she did not like Kitty and, worst of all, he still had feelings for Audrey. He knew his marriage to Kitty was a mistake, and subconsciously aimed at upsetting Audrey but all he ended up doing was creating a mess for everyone. 

“You’re off now?” he asked with a sad smile. At first he found her energy and presence exiting and fun and he wondered where that feeling had gone only to be replaced by annoyance. 

“Yes.” Kitty replied, with some satisfaction that he looked a little forlorn. She had had such high hopes for their marriage after their whirlwind romance. But the reality of life at Grantleigh with a preoccupied husband was not what she signed up for. She hoped the break, and her absence would help Richard to see what he was missing. It was said that absence makes the heart grow fonder. They walked out the front together where Richard's driver John was waiting. Kitty could have had Richard fly her to London in the helicopter but she wanted the scene of her car driving away for Richard to remember. Richard put her case in the car and kissed her cheek. "I'll call you." he promised.

She nodded and turned away to hop into the car. Richard closed the door and watched the car disappear down the long driveway. He hoped to feel despair at Kitty's departure but instead felt distinct relief that she would not be in his presence for the foreseeable future. She was so demanding of him and he could not do anything right. Some peace and quiet was exactly what he needed. He decided to walk around the estate and embrace his semi-freedom, knowing that he did not need to meet any kind of schedule set by his wife. 

Audrey watched the whole farewell from her drawing room with satisfaction. Good riddance pesky cat, she thought as the car passed the lodge. She saw Richard walk into the fields and thought about if she should set out, hoping to accidently bump into him. Audrey decided against it, she was still too hurt from Richard's marriage and had proven that she could not trust her emotions in front of him. Instead, she focused on the upcoming village fete and brushed away thoughts of Mr Richard DeVere. 

Richard didn’t need to wonder where it all went wrong. He knew the exact date, the exact time. 

When Audrey had convinced her Uncle Greville to back his finance for the refrigeration plant in Argentina Richard finally felt that Audrey accepted him, that she too may have been hiding her true feelings for him. He thought there might be hope for a future for them together. 

In the following weeks they had grown closer. He wanted to show Audrey his appreciation for her support and leverage this time to consult her on his ideas about the estate. He found her to be delightful and open with him, not condescending and bossy as she had first been. This time together had been magical, they had gotten on better than ever before. Walks around the estate together, dinner at the Marlbury Arms and Audrey accompanying him to a charity gala in the city with an overnight stay in his Mayfair penthouse apartment. They flew up together in his helicopter. It was Audrey’s second time flying with him and he wanted to make sure she was comfortable.

In his apartment he set Audrey up in the guest bedroom and he went into his own bedroom to get ready. They met in the drawing room and he prepared their drinks. Audrey looked wonderful. It was the same gold dress she had worn the night of the Summer Hunt Ball and it took Richard’s breath away again. She smiled at him and his heart melted. He’d been in love with her for years now and the night ahead had him feeling both trepidation and excitement. 

She accepted the flute of champagne and they clinked glasses, their eyes staying connected. The chemistry between them was palpable and electric and his heart pounded in his chest. Nothing made Richard DeVere nervous but here alone with Audrey he didn’t quite know what to say, quite know how to act.

Audrey's eyes looked over Richard. He was as handsome as ever, with his dark groomed hair - a few silver specks just starting to appear - and his deep brown eyes searching hers. He seemed uncharacteristically nervous. She smiled at him to try and put him at ease. "Richard?" she prompted him.

"You look beautiful. Thank you for coming with me tonight." Richard tried to get his breath normal, but when Audrey's smile grew, his attraction to her grew with it.

"My pleasure, thank you for inviting me."

She had enjoyed the closeness that had developed between them over the last couple of months. He confided in her and valued her opinion. Audrey couldn't deny that her feelings for him had deepened even further, and that she was well and truly in love with him. They were perfect together and the time they spent together was easy and fun. Audrey always looked forward to it, just like she was looking forward to tonight. A night of dancing together and then time alone at the apartment, away from everyone's prying eyes. 

They settled on the lounge as they sipped their champagne and Richard calmed himself by telling Audrey the details of who would be there and how he knew them. "The press will be there too," he added, "will you be okay to be photographed with me?"

"Of course." Audrey smiled reassuringly at him. In the past, Audrey would have been embarrassed to be so closely associated with new money but just as time had changed Audrey's feelings towards Richard, it had also given her a new perspective of the world. Less conservative and more open, even if only marginally.

They entered the charity gala arm in arm. As expected, the press were waiting to capture the rich, powerful or famous as they arrived and Richard put a protective arm around Audrey's waist as their photo was taken. They made a spectacular couple. Once passed this they mingled with the other guests, Richard proudly introducing Audrey. Not only did she have instant credibility as Greville Hartey's niece, she knew how to be charming and make interesting social chat.

"Let's go to the dance floor." Richard murmured into her ear, having had enough of the socialising and wanting a good excuse to hold Audrey in his arms. He guided her there and, finally, put his arms around her and pulled her close, like the dance on her terrace. She fit perfectly against him and as his cheek rested against the side of her face he breathed in the scent of her - a mixture of shampoo and a light musky jasmine, sweet and sexy. His hand on her back felt her skin, warm and smooth. They felt so right together and he closed his eyes as he thought about how he would tell her his feelings later that night. 

It felt exciting and safe to be in Richard's arms, it was quite a thrill to be with such a commanding man. He was strong and powerful, yet so gentle with her. This was as close as they had been for a long time and Audrey was enjoying every second of it. Richard was generally a physical man - even from their early interactions he had not been shy in appropriately touching her - steering her by her shoulders, holding her hand to take her with him, touching her arm or leg responsively. But being in his arms was something else - she could feel his body breathing in and out, his hand on her back sent electric currents of excitement through her body. Then she heard his voice whisper in her ear, "I'm looking forward to later, there's so much I want to tell." and her whole body flushed in anticipation.

"I can't wait." she replied and now it was her turn to be breathless, and then she felt his arms around her pull her just that fraction closer to him.

The rest of the night passed in a daze of champagne, dancing and social banter. Richard was immensely proud to have Audrey by his side, together they were a great team. He hoped this would be the beginning of more events together and nights in London. Audrey enjoyed herself more than she thought was possible. Richard was fun to be around, she enjoyed his company and he made her feel special, like she was the only person in the room, despite being surrounded by hundreds of people, many vying for his attention.

Back in the apartment, Audrey kicked off her heels and sat on the lounge curling her long legs under her while Richard poured their night caps. He brought them over and sat next to Audrey, "Cheers," he tipped his glass towards Audrey and continued, "here's to you Audrey, you were a big hit, very impressive."

She laughed, "Thank you, but it was you who was impressive." Her eyes danced as she remembered the feeling of being his partner at a big event in the city. People wanted his attention, but he was concentrating on only one person - her.

Richard loved her laugh and the little crinkle that appeared at the top of her nose when she was happy. His hand moved to her knee, as his eyes took her in. The gold dress clung perfectly to her curves and his mouth went dry at the thought of kissing her lips.

"Audrey," he started. There was so much to say but he didn't know where to start.

"Yes?' she smiled at him with encouragement and placed her hand gently on his, lightly rubbing his knuckles with her thumb. His mind went blank from how good their physical interaction felt.

Audrey could sense his nerves. Her own stomach was turning circles as she wondered what Richard wanted to tell her. 

His hand started to rub the same spot on her leg. Dizzying circles of warmth that created tingles in her body. "Audrey, I have feelings for you. I have for a long time now." He looked at her to gauge her reaction. It felt like his heart had stopped. Her eyes softened with his admission and her smile became even more alluring. He swallowed, his throat dry, and then took another sip of his whiskey. "I'm in love with you."

The air between them hung as Richard waited to hear her rejection. Not being able to stand the silence, he rushed in, "Could you feel the same?"

"Perhaps." she whispered, overwhelmed with what she had just heard, but she was still smiling. She put her drink down and bought her hand to his face, her finger tracing along his jaw and her eyes looking into his. She hoped they conveyed the love she felt for him. Richard closed the distance between them and brushed his lips against hers. When he felt her responding, his arms wound around her body, pulling her into him. Their kiss deepened as years of feelings were finally acknowledged and embraced. 

Richard's kisses moved from her mouth as they trailed down her long neck. He yearned to kiss every inch of her. As he heard the hitch of her breath and soft, barely perceptible moans, he continued down between her breasts. "Oh darling." he sighed, as he moved her spaghetti straps down so that he could kiss along her collarbone to the freckle on her right shoulder. "Richard." she breathed out his name and it was the sweetest noise he had ever heard. She moved his face back to her so that they could kiss again.

His breath and lips on her body created waves of pleasure Audrey had not experience in a long time, if ever. She wanted more of him, much more. As his tongue touched hers, she felt that she was surely in heaven being ravished by the man she loved with all her heart. The heat between them was rising, and Audrey suddenly realised that she had to stop this. 

"Richard, darling, stop. We can't do this." she said. Her voice was meek and she knew it. She didn't want to stop, not one bit, but to go on would only end in heartbreak.

"What's wrong?" he whispered confused. He held her face in his hands and kissed her softly again, "What is it, my darling?" he asked her. He waited for Audrey to tell him that she wasn't ready for them to make love yet. But what she said next blew him away.

"We can't do this." she repeated, "We can't be together." 

Her heart broke as she saw his face change and fill with hurt. "Why not?"

"I can't be with you Richard." she said sadly. It just was not proper for him to be involved with a pauper, always wondering if she loved him or wanted to be with him for the manor.

"Why not?" he asked again. He was hurt, this rejection from Audrey was more than he could bear. His heart felt as though she had smashed it with a hammer, and anger rose up quickly. "Am I not good enough for you? Is that it?" he shook his head and continued, "Don't worry about my success, if it's not old money or an aristocrat your not interested?"

Audrey tried to interrupt him to explain that his assumptions were wrong, but he went on, "I can't believe you! Well, I can, I just thought that you had opened your mind, that you might just have feelings for me too. And now I can see that I was wrong, this is some kind of sick game for you!" Richard stormed out of the drawing room and into his bedroom, slamming his door. For the first time in his life, he actually cried, deep sobs with his head buried into the pillow so that they would not be heard. He just could not understand how he had read the situation so wrongly.

Tears streamed down Audrey's face as she watched him leave the room. She wanted to call out to him, tell him he had it all wrong, that she did love him - more than she had ever loved anyone. But it was all a matter of pride. It was the only thing that she had left, and so she allowed him to believe his own reasons, because she didn't want to admit that it was her poorness that was dividing them, not his heritage.

Audrey poured herself another whiskey, and then another. She would need it if she was to sleep that night. Her breath was uneven as she fought to control her emotions. What a mess she had created! She would never forgive herself and she cried herself to sleep.

The next morning Audrey dreaded getting out of bed and facing Richard. What could she possibly say? What would he say to her? She found an envelope on the coffee table with her name on it and opened it.

Dear Audrey,

John will come and pick you up at noon, save you having to travel back to Grantleigh with me.

Regards,

Richard

Regards? she thought to herself, hmph. How dare he treat me like an office memo. Then she remembered the hurt in his eyes and her stomach dropped. She ran to the bathroom and vomited. He was saving face for both of them she guessed. 

Richard could hardly concentrate on his flying, he was so distracted by the encounter with Audrey. It still seemed like a bad dream. A rock formed in his throat that he couldn't swallow as sobs started again. Get yourself together man, you've survived worse than this, Richard told himself. And he had. He had built his business from nothing, taken on the city and lost his wife. Audrey fforbes-Hamilton's rejection of him should be water off a ducks back. But it wasn't. It hurt deeply. And that was the moment, the exact moment that it all had started to go wrong. Since Audrey's rejection nothing had gone right.