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Akihiko was supposed to be watching TV, but his attention never stayed on the screen for long. Nearby, Haruki sat on the floor, lost in his bass practice. He had his headphones on and his eyes closed, his entire being concentrated on the vibrations only he could hear.
To anyone else, the room was silent, but Akihiko saw the music in the way Haruki moved. He looked breathtakingly handsome when he was engulfed in his craft.
A subtle, serene smile played on his lips, and his agile fingers danced across the neck of the bass. Akihiko watched the shift of emotions on his face, from intense focus to brief flashes of frustration, and finally, the quiet glow of accomplishment.
It was Sunday afternoon, and the sunset had bathed the living room in warm, amber tones. Akihiko wished he could always witness Haruki practice.
Moving quietly so as not to break the spell, he slid off the sofa and sat on the floor beside him. Haruki didn't even notice. Akihiko eventually laid down, his green eyes fixed on his boyfriend, filled with raw, unshielded adoration.
"Eh?" Haruki finally finished, pulling his headphones down only to realize Akihiko was right by his side. "When did you get down here?"
Akihiko reached out, his thumb tracing the line of Haruki's cheek.
"Just wanted to be closer. The sofa was lonely."
Haruki chuckled, a soft sound that made Akihiko's heart skip, as he tucked his bass back into its case. He stretched out on the floor too, facing Aki.
"Are you staying the night?"
"Can I?" Akihiko asked, brushing a stray lock of hair from Haruki's eyes.
"Of course," Haruki smiled.
"You know... it's almost Valentine’s Day," Akihiko murmured, his voice low. "Is there something you want?"
"Not really," Haruki replied gently.
"It’s our first Valentine’s together," Akihiko insisted. "I want to get you a gift, especially since I have no idea how to make chocolate."
Haruki smiled, reached out, and cupped Akihiko’s face.
"You don’t need to worry about that. It doesn't have to be a 'thing,' right? We could just do something nice together."
"What kind of 'nice' thing would you like to do?"
"Honestly? Just hanging out with you is already perfect."
Sometimes, Haruki’s kindness was actually frustrating. He was so selfless that he didn't seem to notice Akihiko’s desperate need for direction. Akihiko wanted to do everything right for once, but he was flying blind. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to Haruki's forehead.
"Tell me about what you did in the past. With your ex-girlfriend, or that other guy you dated."
"No way," Haruki said, his expression immediately shifting to one of mild displeasure.
"Why not?!"
"Because you’re the jealous type."
"I am not!"
Haruki sat up, facing him cross-legged.
"Okay, to be fair, you aren’t a 'psycho' about it, but you're definitely jealous, Aki. You think I don't notice the way you glare at everyone when you come to see me play support?"
"I’ve never said a word!"
"You don’t have to. Your face is naturally intimidating, especially when you look like you want to murder anyone who gets within three feet of me."
"Groupies have no restraint," Akihiko countered, crossing his arms as if he’d just won the ultimate argument. "I’m just... keeping my guard up. I don’t want some drunk touching you."
Haruki let out a genuine laugh.
"What are you even talking about? No one is interested in me!"
Akihiko leaned in close, his green eyes settling into a terrifyingly serious stare.
"You’re far too clueless about your own charms, Haruki-san."
Haruki snorted; Aki’s intense expression was just too funny.
"Well, either way, I’m not telling you anything."
He started to get up to grab some water, but Akihiko caught his hand, pulling him back.
"Please," he asked, his voice dropping into a gentle, soft plea. "I just want a clue for our first Valentine’s Day. Pleeeease?"
"Ah, fine!" Haruki gave in, climbing onto Akihiko’s lap and wrapping his arms around his neck. "Why are you so persistent?"
Akihiko grinned, his hands settling naturally at the small of Haruki’s back.
"Well... with Aya-chan, we went to an Italian place for dinner. She gave me a mini chocolate cake, too. It was cute."
"Is that so?" Akihiko murmured.
"Yeah. We weren't together for very long."
"You never really told me why you broke up."
Haruki immediately hid his face in Aki's shoulder. There was no way in hell he was going to admit that Akihiko was the reason his last relationship ended.
"Just... one of those things," he mumbled into Aki's shirt.
"I see." Akihiko rubbed his back gently, mistakenly thinking the topic made Haruki sad. "What about your ex-boyfriend? Did you two do anything special?"
Haruki pulled back, looking at him with surprise.
"Why are you so obsessed with this topic?"
"Because communication is important," Akihiko said firmly, before leaning in to kiss him. Haruki felt a flicker of annoyance at how easily he crumbled against Aki’s bouts of sweetness.
He sighed, giving in.
"There wasn't much to it. We were just dumb kids. It was my last year of high school, so we just ordered pizza and hung out at his place. We broke up when I moved to Tokyo for college."
"Ah." Akihiko felt a pang of disappointment. It was the first time Haruki had offered any real details about the guy, and it sounded... ordinary.
"Satisfied?" Haruki asked, resting his head back on Aki's shoulder.
"Yeah. I guess it really doesn't have to be a big production, does it?"
"That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you." Haruki nibbled playfullly at his cheek, making Akihiko chuckle.
"Sorry, sorry." Akihiko pulled him into a tight embrace. They stayed like that for a while, basking in the warm orange and reddish glow of the apartment like two cats in the sun. "Hey, Haru..."
"Yeah?"
"Was he... your first?"
"With a guy? Yes," Haruki said quietly. "But my other first time was with you."
Akihiko’s hands gripped Haruki’s shoulders. Before Haruki could process the change in atmosphere, Akihiko had pulled back, staring at him with wide, disbelieving green eyes.
"What... what do you mean?"
"Eh?" Now Haruki was the confused one.
"First... first time?! Haruki, what are you saying?!"
"Oh, that..." Haruki’s face flushed a deep crimson. "Before you... I’d never actually..."
"Why didn't you tell me?!" Akihiko’s voice was strained with sudden nerves.
"Why on earth would I tell you that?! It was embarrassing! Besides, I was already complaining that you wouldn't touch me, if I'd told you, you probably never would have!"
Akihiko’s head dropped into his hands, his posture collapsing under a wave of sudden, crushing guilt.
"Shit... shit, shit...!"
"What kind of reaction is that?!" Haruki was half-laughing and half-horrified.
"I don't know what to feel!" Akihiko confessed, his face a deep, burning shade of crimson. "Should I go and apologize to your parents?! Aaaaaah, man! Shit! I actually... I took your virginity!"
"What are you even talking about?!"
Akihiko suddenly grabbed Haruki’s hands, his expression shifting into something terrifyingly solemn.
"Do you want to top me?"
Haruki felt like the floor had been pulled out from under him.
"Excuse me?"
"Do you!?" Aki pressed, staring straight into Haruki's amber eyes with a sincerity that was almost painful. "It’s okay if you want to! I’ll do it!"
Haruki wondered how a calm, golden afternoon had spiraled into such absolute chaos. He took a long, shaky breath and reached out to squeeze Akihiko’s cheeks between his palms.
"Akihiko, breathe. You’re too worked up, there’s no oxygen left in your brain. Just breathe."
Too panicked to protest, Akihiko obeyed. Haruki pulled him into a firm hug, his fingers gently soothing the short hair at the nape of Akihiko’s neck.
"You didn't 'take' anything, Aki," Haruki said, his voice steady and kind. "I was the one who gave myself to you." He pulled back just enough to pepper Akihiko’s face with soft kisses. "I've always wanted to give everything to you."
"Haru..."
"Since the very beginning, I wanted to be embraced by you," Haruki whispered, his nose brushing against Aki's cheek. "Our first time was perfect. You were so gentle, so good to me. You are always good to me. You don't need to feel guilty about anything."
"Really?" Akihiko rasped, the worry still lingering in his gaze.
"Yes. It's more than fine," Haruki murmured against his ear. "Besides, I love the way it feels to have you inside me. Don't I make that clear enough every single time?"
Akihiko tensed instantly when Haruki punctuated the sentence by nibbling on his earlobe.
"Doesn't it make you feel good?" Haruki teased, his voice dropping to a sultry register. "Knowing that you're the only one?"
Akihiko groaned into Haruki’s shoulder, hiding his face as he squeezed him tight.
"You're too mean sometimes, you know that?"
Haruki just smiled, a playful, triumphant glint in his eyes.
"Let's just spend Valentine’s Day here. Just the two of us. I’ll make you chocolates."
Akihiko’s face lit up instantly.
"You know how to make them?! For real?!"
"Yeah. When you grow up in a house full of women, you tend to pick up a few things about sweets and baking."
"Can I tell you a secret, Haru?" Akihiko asked, his voice becoming small and vulnerable.
"Sure."
"This will be my first time... the first time I’ve ever received chocolates like that. Real ones."
Haruki’s expression softened into pure adoration. He reached up to caress Akihiko’s face.
"Good. Give me more of your 'firsts' too."