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After dark, on a deserted stretch of highway, Kurt spied a stopped car and reduced his speed. Seeing it was a young man around his age convinced him it was safe enough to pull over.
Ten minutes later he was closing the hood and placing a call for a tow to his dad’s garage.
*
Sitting at a coffee shop later on, Kurt found out that Colin was a student at Ohio State. By the appreciative looks he was sending Kurt, he was also gay. Fortunately for him, Kurt was flattered by the attention of a good looking guy. Unfortunately for him, Colin mentioned going to school in Westerville.
‘Oh, so you were there at the same time as Blaine and Matthew?’ Kurt asked, and by the guilty look on Colin's face knew there was more than a passing acquaintance between them. He felt no remorse about asking ‘So which were you: the guy who never spoke up against the bullying, the bully, or the one who took it to the next level at that Sadie Hawkins dance?’
‘The latter’, Colin whispered ashamedly. ‘I did change though. I had NO idea, back then, no idea at all. And I've been trying to make amends...’
‘By not apologizing to Blaine and Matthew, right?’ Kurt delivered with an arched eyebrow. ‘Look, it doesn't matter. You seem like a nice guy from the five minute talk we just had, but this is as far as it goes.’
‘Kurt, if you would just...’
‘I wouldn't. I believe there should be at least three degrees of separation between a former bully and his victims. Blaine and I were engaged. So you and me, we’re not going to date, we’re not going to be friends or even friendly acquaintances. Don’t message me on Facebook, don’t follow me on twitter. Don’t become a fixture at The Lima Bean or Breadstix.’
Colin was silent at the finality of Kurt’s announcement and the evenness of his tone. He realized there was no way for him to appeal to Kurt, and felt only a slight sadness that a relation that looked really promising a few minutes ago would never have the chance to happen.
‘That’s very... considerate of you,’ he finally found the words to say.
‘It’s nothing of the sort. I just know I’d rather set my entire wardrobe on fire than have anyone else feel like I do. Knowing the guy who terrorized my for years, threw me in dumpsters and assaulted me, is the one who gets to put his hands on the one man I ever loved. Sure, he’s a great guy now.’ And I survived, Kurt reaffirmed to himself, after finally closing his mouth. And yet it still feels like I’m the one breathing underwater while he floats effortlessly.
Colin watched Kurt as he got up, paid for his drink and left. He wanted to feel some anger at having been dismissed so completely. But other than a strong physical attraction and the tantalizing hope for a guy who knew his cars, he was no too invested. He finished his coffee, pleased he did not waste several dates on a dead end, and slightly envious. The kind of devotion he just witnessed was not something he had ever considered before. But, Colin reflected, it would feel nice to be the object of it.
*
Three days later Colin was in line at the Lima Bean. He fully intended to listen to Kurt, but curiosity got the better of him and here he was, waiting to find out what was so special about the coffee in this place. Before taking the first sip he spotted Kurt sitting alone at a table and decided to let the young man know that he would not be found lurking around, present day excluded.
It was during the two sentences he addressed to Kurt that Dave walked in and recognized him. And there, by Dave’s side was the last person he expected to see. Blaine looked much changed from his high school days and yet he was instantly recognizable. Dave waved happily, but Kurt who had gone stiff at their entrance shoved his paper in his messenger bag and left without a word. Colin glanced back at Dave, wanting to invite him over, and had the dubious advantage to see Blaine’s face lose all color. While Dave shook his hand, oblivious to the look Colin was giving his boyfriend, Blaine bypassed their table and headed straight for the bathroom.
While Blaine was trying to convince himself that he had not seen Kurt and Colin share the same table, Colin was trying to let his friend know that him and Blaine were not exactly strangers.
Maybe it was just crowded, Blaine thought to himself. And anyhow, Kurt was dating Walter, so he would have no interest in anyone else, let alone Colin. Why God, was Colin there, smiling at Kurt? And why couldn't he have seen Kurt’s expression!
After realizing he could not hide anymore without it becoming obvious, Blaine headed back to the table. His boyfriend was talking animatedly with a guy he had last seen kicking Matthew in the face, at a high school Sadie Hawkins dance.
*
‘Blaine,’ Colin started as soon as he sat down ‘I wanted to say I’m sorry. I should have said it then, or looked for you later on, when I figured out some things about myself. I have no excuse, but I would like your forgiveness.’ Colin seemed nothing if not genuine.
Blaine had imagined countless times what he would feel when confronted with his attackers. But none of those scenarios involved Kurt; not in any other way than his strength at Blaine’s side. The attack itself was in the past, and however it had changed Blaine was irreversible. Nothing Colin did or said would change anything. There was no closure Blaine needed, no satisfaction to be had. There was nothing he felt like saying other than ‘It’s fine. I've put it behind me.’ He was surprised to know he meant it. And yet, as his thudding heart attested, everything was not fine. All because Colin has spoken to Kurt.
Dave was not sure what exactly happened between his boyfriend and the friend he met at one of the various support groups he visited. But despite the apology, neither seemed too bothered, so he continued his questions about Colin’s love life.
‘Oh, I met someone all right,’ Colin was quick to confess. ‘Looking like all my wet dreams come to life and wearing the tightest jeans known to man. He helped me when both my car and cell phone decided to call it a night in the middle of nowhere.’
Blaine felt like the air was being sucked out of the room and the only reason he stayed put was the uncertainty he would make it to the bathroom without embarrassing himself. He must be talking about Kurt, Blaine though hopelessly.
‘So when are you seeing him again?’ Dave asked.
‘Never,’ and this part Colin appeared to direct to Blaine. ‘He made it clear he wanted nothing to do with me’. Was it his imagination, or did Blaine’s death grip on his coffee ease the slightest bit?
‘By met I thought you meant you hit it off,’ Dave insisted. Blaine was starting to suspect Colin was aware of more than he let on.
‘We did,’ Colin insisted. ‘But after I told him where I went to school, it was made clear to me that he would rather set fire to his wardrobe than see me again.’
Blaine could not help the half laugh, half sob that escaped him. ‘No way!’ was all he managed by way of explanation, and by this point Dave was certain there was part of the conversation he was not hearing.
‘Thing is,’ Colin said, getting up from the table ‘I believe him. And I could not possibly condemn those fine jeans to such a fate. Besides, my days of torturing gay teens is over. Dave,’ he shook his friend’s hand. ‘I’ll see you some place that isn't here. Blaine,’ he nodded to the younger man.
Blaine had miraculously recovered enough of his composure to hold out his hand, that Colin shook after the slightest hesitation. ‘You are damn lucky,’ he added in an undertone, though of course, Dave could hear him.
*
After watching one of his high school attackers exit the Lima Bean, Blaine felt more at peace than in the last half year. He did not have all the pieces sorted out, but suddenly, he knew where each would fall down, and the picture they would make. Holding on to that certainty, and telling himself it was the opposite of courageous to continue as before, he turned to his boyfriend.
‘Dave, we need to talk.’
THE END