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You watch the birds fly beyond the castle walls, unrestricted by the stone barrier cutting the royal family off from the rest of the world. The weight of the silver and gold adorning your outfit is a burden accompanying your birthright, sinking you away from the freedom you yearn for. You know that the respect and decorum others show you are merely out of deference for the blood running within your body. And some days, you feel shackled by this shell itself.
It’s the night before the coronation. After the passing of the previous monarch, the court descended into a frenzy to appoint a new heir to the throne. The other royal relatives did everything in their power to persuade the aristocrats to stand behind them, using promises of titles and jewels to grow the influence of their parties. The more they tried, the more you stood out in contrast. At the end of the day, to everyone’s surprise, the crown will now fall into your lap quietly and easily.
You are wandering in the garden alone, away from attendants and the pile of paperwork that require your attention. It’s a dark and quiet corner of the otherwise busy palace. But it seems like you are not the only one here tonight.
“Your highness,” Akaashi greets, circling his arms out and bowing his head down.
You take two quick steps over, reaching under his arms, you help him up. “Keiji, please don’t do this. Not when it’s just the two of us.”
“But it doesn’t change that you are a ruler and I am your subject.”
The grip on his arm falters, as you take a step back and shake your head in disbelief. “Even you now? I’ve had enough of it all. I never wanted the throne, never wanted to be the ruler.”
You turn your back on Akaashi and walk through the maze of flower bushes. Each of them are beautifully maintained by Akaashi, the royal gardener. There’s not a single branch out of place, and each bud is vibrant in its color.
“But it’s your duty—”
The flowers anger you. Their perfection seems to mock your flaws. Before Akaashi can stop you, you begin to tear and rip at the petals with your bare hands. As the petals shake and fall onto the ground, your skin gets cut from the edges on the stem. You look at the pile of destroyed flowers with rueful pity. Now they’re free.
“Y/N!” Akaashi grasps your hand and begins to look at your hands, checking the small scratch marks. He quickly leads you over to the fountain where he rinses off any dirt, rips a strip of cloth from his shirt and carefully wraps the wound for you. “I’ll go get the physician, wait for me,” he instructs you, preparing to go back to the palace.
You grab his wrist to stop him. “I’m fine, Keiji, just sit with me for a while.”
Akaashi seems conflicted and reluctantly sits on the edge of the fountain next to you. “Your highness, why did you do that?”
“Earlier…you called out my name.”
“That was…I apologize.” Akaashi fails to come up with an excuse. That was because I panicked when I saw you hurt.
You lean your head onto Akaashi’s shoulder, closing your eyes, listening to the sound of the fountain behind you. The tranquility of the night is but a temporary escape from the reality you find yourself in.
“Keiji, I know you have feelings for me. And you know of my affections for you. Are you drawing away because you dislike my position? Am I now unworthy of your love?” You are afraid of the day where Akaashi will no longer be honest in front of you, terrified of a moment where Akaashi’s actions in front of you will also be out of deference for your status. You don’t want that to ever happen.
Akaashi wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you closer into his embrace.
“Y/N,” he begins, smiling slightly when he feels you react to your name. “I know more than anyone else how little you care for the throne. I know the burden you will have to bear; how can I possibly dislike you for that? I love you, ardently so. But I’m just a gardener. I don’t know if I can be the support that you need. I’m afraid that…you won’t need me anymore.”
Akaashi finds you trembling and he fears that he has made you cry, but the quiet laughs that escape from your mouth tell him that you’re only amused. You sit up straight and cup Akaashi’s face so he’ll look at you. With conviction you tell him, “We’re both shackled by our roles, thinking of ourselves as unworthy of another. But when I’m with you, I’m just myself. Before anything, are we not just humans first?” And lovers next?
Akaashi covers your hand with his. “It seems like both of us were riddled with worries.”
Yes, much like how the weeds try to fight their way amongst the flowers, the insecurities plaguing both of you tried to draw you apart.
“Love taken root cannot be unearthed so easily, let’s work hard for us.” You whisper, pressing your forehead against his. Any opposition that may happen…you’ll fight them all if only Akaashi will accept you. You can just barely sense his breathing on your face. “Give me a little time, Keiji. If you will have me…”
Akaashi leans forward and presses a gentle kiss on your lips, murmuring in the shared breath, “It would be my honor, to love and cherish you.”
You acknowledge his vow, capturing his lips once more, this time with more excitement and passion, as your hand threads into his hair. You can feel Akaashi smiling into the kiss as he holds you close. Misunderstandings slowly get erased away.
When you pull away, you find Akaashi’s glinting eyes teasing your gaze. “What are you looking at,” you ask with embarrassment.
“Your highness, earlier you messed with my rose bushes. The poor flowers are collateral.”
You think back to your little tantrum earlier and apologize. “That’s my fault, sorry about that. How should I pay you back?”
“Anything?”
“Anything,” you reply easily. What can you possibly not give him once the ceremony is over tomorrow?
Akaashi chuckles and whispers, “I’ll have you. Always and forever.”