Work Text:
“I Almost Lost You”
It’s been two days since the heart-wrenching conclusion of the Tri-Wizard Tournament, and Harry finds himself becoming more despondent by the minute. He can’t shake the feeling of guilt that’s been clinging to him about the tragic death of Cedric Diggory. If it weren’t for him, Cedric never would have been transported to that graveyard; He never would have come face to face with Voldemort, and he wouldn’t have been killed. What Voldemort had said before Cedric won’t stop echoing in his mind. “Kill the spare.” As if Harry’s life was worth more than Cedric’s, more important. Harry hates that these were the last words Cedric heard before he died, that he was the “spare”, unimportant, worthless. And it’s not true; Cedric was by far a better man than Harry, a better man than most of the people Harry has encountered. He didn’t deserve this, and Harry will never forgive himself.
Harry is snapped out of his morbid musings when Draco enters the Slytherin Common Room. Draco, whom Harry loves with all his heart. The person that Harry has been picturing in Cedric’s place. The person that Harry can’t lose. And Harry has been ignoring him, the most important person in his life, ever since the conclusion of the final task, because every time Harry closes his eyes, he sees Draco, lying at Voldemort’s feet, begging, pleading for Harry to save him, and then a blinding green light that fades to reveal Draco’s dead, lifeless eyes, burning a hole through Harry’s soul. Harry can’t protect him. He’s too weak, too afraid. He doesn’t deserve Draco, and he just knows that, one day, he will get Draco killed.
Harry feels the couch dip as Draco takes a seat next to him, but he refuses to look up, instead burying his head in his hands.
“Harry?” Draco says, trying to draw Harry’s gaze to his own. Harry still refuses to look up, holding his ground. “Damnit, Harry, will you just look at me!” Draco exclaims, raising his voice slightly in desperation. After a brief moment of heavy silence and a defeated sigh, Draco adds, “Please let me in, Harry. I know you’re hurting, but for the love of Merlin, don’t push me away. I need you. So please, just look at me.” Draco’s voice breaks as he finishes speaking, and at the sound of his lover’s distress, Harry finally looks up, locking eyes with the worried blond sitting beside him.
Harry is crying, his cheeks wet, with a batch of fresh tears brimming in his emerald green eyes. “Harry…” Draco whispers, taking in his boyfriend’s state. He notices the raw guilt in Harry’s eyes, and he feels his heart ache at the sight. “Come here.”
Draco pulls Harry to his chest, wrapping his strong arms around him and rubbing his back comfortingly. He feels Harry shudder as he finally lets himself feel the full force of his anguish, releasing all of his pent-up emotions in waves of melancholy and pain.
“I killed him, Draco. It’s my fault; I killed him .” Harry sobs incoherently, his words rushed, his tone manic.
“No, Harry. Voldemort killed him. This- This isn’t your fault.”
Harry calms slightly at Draco’s words and takes a shuddering breath. “He shouldn’t have even been there, Draco. I got to the cup first, but I wanted to share the victory with him because he deserved it more than I did. If I hadn’t done that, he would still be alive.” Harry’s voice lowers to a whisper as he finishes speaking.
“Harry, you had no way of knowing that the cup was a portkey. You were just trying to let him win with you. There’s no way you could have predicted what would happen, you hear?” Draco pulls Harry up so he can look him in the eye. “This is not your fault.” Draco says, punctuating each word. “You have to stop beating yourself up and blaming yourself. You’re tearing yourself apart.” Draco sighs, his next words losing their authoritative tone. “I need you, Harry. I feel like I’m losing you, and I can’t bear it. I almost lost you in that graveyard. I can’t go through that again. I won’t. Please, Harry. I need you to understand that none of this is your fault.” Draco is crying freely by the end of his speech, but he still holds Harry’s gaze. Because of this, he sees the moment where Harry realizes the truth of Draco’s words.
“You’re right, I’m sorry, Draco, for ignoring you. You don’t deserve that. I can’t promise that I’ll be okay, because I’m not, but I can promise that I won’t hide my pain from you anymore. I trust you, and I need to start acting like it.” Harry leans in to kiss Draco. “I love you.” Harry whispers, his breath ghosting over Harry’s lips.
“I love you too, with all my heart.” Draco responds, raising his hand to Harry’s face, cradling his cheek, and pressing their foreheads together.
They share an intimate gaze, both reeling from the emotional conversation they have shared. During these few moments, Harry realizes that he’ll never lose Draco. He won’t let it happen. He will walk to the ends of the Earth, face fire, and go through literal hell to keep him safe. And now he knows that Draco will do the same for him. He may not be perfect, but Draco loves him, and that’s all that really matters.