Archive of Our Own

It's about six o'clock when the kids start showing up. Some of them with their parents, some in groups with a guardian. The food is already prepped, spread out on a folding table with a tacky plastic tablecloth. There's a huge fake tree in the far corner of the room, a tall pile of donated toys underneath. Knock-off Barbies and Mega Blocks and stuffed bears from the clearance section. The decorations are sparse- cheap tinsel clinging to the windows and tacky stickers of Santa stuck to the unfogged glass. The entire affair reeks of insincerity, and it digs itself directly into the chip left in Will's shoulder.

"Sup, Scrooge?" Beverly asks, joining Will where he's been brooding in the hallway all evening. The bell on her elf hat jingles as she leans against the wall.

"Remind me again why I have to be here?"

Beverly smirks. "To reinvigorate your Christmas Spirit?" She offers.

Will scoffs. "It's not Christmas," he reminds her, pointedly tugging at the loosened collar of his green flannel. It's the middle of July, which renders this party even more pointless than it already would've been.

Zeller and Price appear, then, each holding paper cups of overly-sweet punch.

"I just think it'd be better for everyone, including myself, if I could've spent tonight actually working, instead of-" he gestures around them. "This nonsense."

"Generally, the point of a party is to have fun, Graham," Zeller says.

"And generally," Will retorts, "Those doing volunteer work actually volunteer for it."

Bev rolls her eyes. "Come on, are you really such a Grinch that you can't see the merit in doing something nice for these poor kids?"

"It's not as nice as you think it is." Will frowns. "Am I a Scrooge or a Grinch in this scenario?"

"Depends on your views on consumerism," Price quips.

Bev sighs. "Your reputation is in the trash right now, Will. Freddie Lounds is making you look like an unapproachable, dangerous asshole. People already don't want to cooperate with us, we don't need the public seeing her paint you as a villain."

"It's not my job to be approachable."

"Just talk to the damn kids. Give them some Oreos and a cup of milk. Ask them if they're excited for school to start in a couple weeks and smile no matter what they say. That's literally all you have to do."

Will scowls, but he nods. "Fine."

"And Will?"

"Hmm?"

"Put your antlers on."

He shoots her a glare and she grins. With a sigh, Will puts on the headband, tiny bells on the brown felt antlers tinkling as he walks back in.

-

Will keeps his eyes on the cups as he fills them with punch, handing them off to tiny hands with dirty nails. His mind keeps drifting off, getting lost in the heat and the melancholy coming off of every small 'thank you' he receives.

He's pulled back when a little boy fumbles his cup, spilling red liquid all over the table and himself.

"I'm sorry," he says quickly, picking up the fallen ice and putting it back into the paper cup piece by piece.

"It's fine, it's okay," Will says, grabbing a fistful of napkins from the other end of the table. He hands some to the boy and uses the rest to soak up the spill. "See? No worries." He looks up to the boy, wiping off a too-big t-shirt. He tries to smile.

"My hands are sticky," the boy mumbles. He sounds upset.

Will looks around for another adult, panicking. Bev is helping a woman who appears to have several children with her- an orphanage worker or youth group leader, probably. No other grown-ups in sight.

He sighs. It's not that he doesn't like kids, quite the opposite in fact. He's always wanted to be a role model for a child- someone they could rely on, look up to. Unfortunately, he wasn't even good at making kids like him when he was a kid himself, and years of introversion and stress haven't exactly done much to soften his rougher edges.

The kid sniffles, like he might cry soon.

"Okay, hey, let's get you cleaned up. Here, uh- Bev?" He calls, getting her attention. Most of the kids have been served, at this point. "You got things under control here?"

She frowns, before looking at the boy and nodding to Will. "I've got it, go ahead."

Will guides him down the hall, looking for a bathroom.

"My mom's gonna be mad at me for getting my shirt dirty," the boy mumbles.

Will looks down at him, feeling his heart twist. "I'm sure it'll be fine. It was an accident."

The boy nods, looking at the ground.

Will feels a stone settling in his stomach. This whole night is torturously familiar. Well, at least he and Doctor Lecter will have plenty to discuss in therapy this week.

"Hey," he says softly. "We can tell her it was my fault, if you want."

He looks up at Will. "Really?"

He smiles around the discomfort swirling in his chest. "Yeah. If she gets mad, she can get mad at me."

"Thanks, mister."

They finally manage to find the bathroom and Will leads him in, grabbing some paper towels to wet at the sink. "It's Will," He says. "What's your name?"

"Jonah."

Will wrings out a paper towel, taking one of Jonah's hands and cleaning it. He falters. He knows he should say something else.

"...Are you excited for school to start soon, Jonah?"

Jonah shrugs.

Will chuckles dryly. "Yeah, that sounds about right."

"...The other kids don't really like me."

Will furrows his brows, swallowing hard. "I'm sure they do," he says. "You seem like a good kid."

Jonah just shrugs again.

"Kids are jerks, anyway," he blurts out without thinking. He coughs, anxiety flooding to the surface. "I-I mean, not all kids, obviously, but, you know..."

Will finishes cleaning the mess in awkward silence, struggling to think of something better to say. He really should've asked Bev to take care of this. When the task is finished, he braces himself, forces a smile and says "Come on, let's get you back to the party, yeah? Little bit of free food, make some fun crafts, then soon you'll get a present."

The boy nods and lets Will start to lead him back. Will watches Jonah as they head back down the hall. Kids don't know how to put up walls yet, so Will's Empathy is slipping in with ease. It's all very familiar, the profound loneliness this boy clearly feels. Like he's invisible. He wishes he could tell him something, anything. Nothing feels right.

"Hello, Will."

Will jumps, looking up at the sound of that familiar voice.

"Doctor Lecter," Will says, blush rising to his face in an instant. "I-I didn't know you were here."

Doctor Lecter nods in the direction of another large room. "I've been helping the children with an arts and crafts project. To be honest, I'm surprised to see you here, as well."

Will laughs nervously. Doctor Lecter looks perfect, as always- cutting a gorgeous figure in a dark red suit. He's smiling at Will, too, which is sending his pulse through the roof. Maybe it's unhealthy to have a huge crush on your psychiatrist, but when he looks at Will like that-

No. Looks above Will like that. Oh God. The blush spreads to his ears and he grabs the antler headband, quickly removing it and running a hand through his hair. He coughs, trying to seem natural. "Jack thought volunteering would be good for me. Some of the forensics guys are here too, somewhere."

Doctor Lecter's eyes shine with amusement, glancing down at the headband now being clutched in Will's hand. He tilts his head, gaze drifting. "And who is this?"

"Oh, this is Jonah. Jonah, this is- um, this is Hannibal," He says. Will's never actually referred to Doctor Lecter by his first name, but the other man doesn't seem to mind it. Maybe he'll do it more often.

"Hello, Jonah, it's a pleasure to meet you. Are you enjoying yourself this evening?"

Will feels his heart tighten. Hannibal's voice is warmer when he addresses Jonah. Soft and gentle, nurturing.

"Yes, sir. Mister Will spilled punch on me."

Ah. So the blush will be permanent, then. He'll die with it on. Well, he did say Jonah could blame him.

Hannibal smirks. "Did he?" he prods, looking back to Will. "Well, he can be very clumsy, I'm afraid."

Will laughs for what may have been a second too long. "Um, I should probably get Jonah back to his mom. But I'll see you later?"

"Of course, my apologies for interrupting you." He smiles down at the boy. "I hope to see you soon, Jonah."

"Yes sir, thank you."

They part, and Will takes a deep breath, shaking his thoughts back to the moment.

"My mom isn't here," Jonah says quietly. "She's at home."

Will frowns. "Oh."

"I'm with my church."

He nods. "Okay, well I'll make sure you get back with them, then. They're probably wondering where you went."

Jonah sighs. It makes Will stop in his tracks. "What's up?"

"...I don't wanna go back with them. Do we have to?"

Will looks around. No one in sight. Jonah sounds like he's moments away from tears, again. He crouches to his level, brows furrowed. "Why not?"

He shrugs.

"Hey," Will says, as softly as he can manage. A part of him feels like he should be minimizing interactions with any of these children, like it's a matter of moments before he says something upset one of them.

He can't stay silent.

"Listen, Jonah. I know I'm a stranger, but I'm not gonna tell on you, okay? I..." He swallows. "I know what it's like, when you feel like nobody's gonna listen to you. But I'm listening, if you have something you need to say."

Jonah is practically boring a hole into the tile floor, but he doesn't speak.

Will takes a breath. Forces a smile even if it kills him. "Alright. Okay, we don't have to go back right away if you don't want to. You and me can hang out for a bit, if you want."

"We can?"

Will nods. "Sure. I'm supposed to be helping you kids have a good time, right?"

Jonah nods back, a wobbly smile coming to his face. "Okay, that sounds like fun."

"Cool," Will says. "Are you still hungry? We can go get a snack. I promise I won't make a mess this time."

Jonah laughs and it makes Will breathe out a sigh of relief. "Okay."

-

"Everything good, Will?"

He nods to Bev, shooting a pointed glance down toward Jonah. She nods back, looking every bit like she understands.

"Who's that lady?" Jonah asks as they sit at a tiny table.

"Who, Beverly? We work together."

"What do you do at work?"

Will thinks it over before settling for "We catch bad guys."

"What kind of bad guys?"

"Very bad guys."

"Is it scary?"

"Sometimes."

"Is she your friend?"

Will chuckles. Jonah reminds him a lot of his younger self. Questions by the dozen. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Is Mister Hannibal your friend?" Jonah asks, stumbling over the name a bit.

"Um..." He adjusts his glasses awkwardly. "That's a complicated question."

"You got happy when you saw him."

"That's true," he admits.

"Your face got all red."

Will grimaces. "You're a very perceptive kid, aren't you?" He says. Jonah grins. "Why are you so interested in him, anyway?"

"He's nice, like you."

Will laughs at that. "He's not nice. He's weird."

"Are you weird?"

He sighs, popping a cookie into his mouth. "Sometimes."

"Maybe that's why you want him to be your friend."

Will stammers for a second, shocked that he's been read by a child. If it's this obvious to a kid, Hannibal must've caught on ages ago.

"Do you want to go make kaleidoscopes?" Jonah asks, completely casual.

He narrows his eyes. Jonah doesn't look up.

"Finish your food first."

-

"Mister Lecter, can you help me?"

"Mister Lecter, do we have any left-handed scissors?"

"Mister Lecter, are there any more pink beads?"

Will's face breaks into a grin. The kids are swarming him, but he's calm as ever. His cranberry red suit jacket is draped over a metal folding chair, the sleeves of a light grey shirt rolled up so that the material is out of the way. He isn't the only adult in the room, there's a mousey-looking woman buzzing around as well, but most of the kids are clamoring for Hannibal.

It's a bit strange to Will. Hannibal is incredible, but he wouldn't exactly expect him to be popular with children. He's so lofty and proper, and he has a tendency to be a bit...clinical. And yet, the little girl he's helping just laughed. Hannibal grins, and Will's heart sets to racing.

"Hi, Mister Hannibal," Jonah says.

Hannibal smiles at him. "Well, hello again, Jonah." He looks up. "And I see you've brought Will along. Isn't that lovely?"

And just like that, Will is blushing again. "Thought we could make some kaleidoscopes."

Hannibal gestures to some vacant stations near him. "Just a moment, I'll fetch you some supplies."

Will chuckles. "I'll get 'em, thanks. You hold the fort."

He moves to grab some scissors, glue and paper from the stack of supplies in the corner, listening intently to the conversation on the other end of the room.

"Are you and Will having fun, Jonah?" Hannibal asks, and God, he sounds so...paternal. It's almost unbearably cute.

"Yes sir! I like Will, he's nice to me."

Will smiles to himself.

"I'm glad to hear that," and then, softer, so that Will almost doesn't catch it, "I like him, too."

He bites his lip to keep from laughing out loud, chest cavity suddenly feeling so full that it borders on painful to keep it in. He returns with supplies in hand, and joins Jonah at the table.

"So," Will says, "What brings you to Christmas in July, Doctor?"

"I make it a point to give back to the community however I can," he answers easily.

"Guess I always pegged you as more of a Charity Gala kind of guy."

Hannibal smirks. "Children are much better conversationalists than socialites, don't you think?"

Will laughs, and Jonah tugs at his sleeve.

"Your face is turning red again," he tries to whisper. Children are terrible at whispering.

"Mister Lecter?" A blonde girl calls.

"Yes, Darling?"

Will almost melts. 'Darling'. So fucking cute.

"Um, do you know how to draw a kitty? I wanna put one on mine."

"Certainly, here,"

He moves to help her. Will turns his attention back to Jonah, walking him through the printed instructions on some sheets in the center of the table. His attention is a bit split, though.

"Which color crayon should I use, dear?"

"Purple!"

"One purple kitten, as you wish. Are kittens your favorite animals?"

"Mister Will," Jonah whisper-speaks again.

Will clears his throat, willing himself to focus. "Um, you can just call me Will, Jonah."

"How old are you?"

"Thirty-eight."

Jonah's eyes go wide. "You're older than my mom."

Will snorts. "Not as old as Hannibal. He's forty-six, I think."

"That's old."

He chuckles. "Don't let him hear you say that."

Jonah frowns. "Is it weird to be friends with a grown-up?"

"Maybe. We can still be friends if you want, though."

"Then I'll be weird, like you and Mister Hannibal."

Will shrugs. "There are worse things to be."

The little girl across the table squeals. "Wow! Alexis, look at my kitty!"

The kids are sent into a new frenzy, crowding around Hannibal.

"Show-off," Will mutters to himself.

"Can you draw a frog next?"

"Oo! Can you teach us to draw a monkey?"

"No, Mister Lecter, I want a unicorn!"

Hannibal looks very pleased. "I can draw whatever you'd like, but you must be patient. Take turns, please."

"What's your favorite animal, Will?" Jonah asks.

Will opens his mouth to speak.

"May I hazard a guess?" Hannibal asks, looking up at him.

Will smiles. "Sure."

"Would you like me to draw a dog for you, Will?"

He laughs. "I'd hate to take the first turn."

"I want a dog!" Jonah says.

Hannibal nods to Jonah. "Well, there you have it. What sort of dog shall I draw?"

Jonah thinks it over for a moment before saying "A big dog, with floppy ears!"

"Of course," He says. "An excellent choice."

"What's your favorite animal, Mister Lecter?"

Hannibal chuckles to himself, eyes twinkling. "Would you like to guess?"

Jonah furrows his brows. "I dunno. What do you think, Will?"

Will meets Hannibal's eye. "Something proud, I think. Like a lion or a panther."

He returns his attention to the page. "Not quite. But a very interesting guess."

"A peacock, then, perhaps," He says, voice just on the edge of teasing.

"Another good choice, but still no."

Will grins. "Can I at least have a hint?"

Hannibal looks to Jonah. Holds up a hand like he's hiding a secret from Will. "It lives in the ocean," he says in a mock conspiratory tone.

Jonah lights up. "Oh! Is it a shark?"

Hannibal nods. "Excellent guess, Jonah, you're exactly right," he says, and winks.

Will wants to live in this moment forever, watching Hannibal doodle and play and answer questions. It's such a fascinating change of pace, but it suits him so well. Will wonders if it could suit himself, too.

-

"Starting to think they wasted their money, with all the beads and glue and everything."

Hannibal smiles as he settles against the wall beside Will. "Do you?"

Will nods. "Those kids were having way more fun learning to draw an owl than they were with that paper crap they were making."

He laughs. It's beautiful. "Who knows, perhaps a future artist is in our midst this evening."

Will shakes his head fondly. "You're a natural with them, you know that?"

Hannibal casts him a sidelong glance. "It's not entirely natural," he says, watching the children as they're handed their gifts. "I practically raised my younger sister, after all."

He frowns, searching his memory. "I didn't know you had a sister."

"I don't. Not anymore, that is," he says quietly.

Will freezes. "Shit. Sorry, I didn't-"

"It's alright." A soft smile comes to his lips. "It helps, doing something for these children. It's cathartic, in a way."

Will nods. "I guess I get that. Although to be honest, I find it more depressing than anything."

"And why is that?"

He frowns, glances around to make sure that none of the children are listening. "Kids are smarter than people give them credit for. Most of them realize that this is charity, you know? That they're only here because their families are struggling, or because they don't have families to begin with. It just confirms that they're...Other. Weird. Even if it comes from good intentions."

Hannibal turns to him, gives him a searching look. "You sound like you're speaking from experience, Will."

"This is a party, not a therapy session, Doctor Lecter."

An awkward silence blooms for a minute or two. Hannibal seems unwilling to break it, so Will speaks again.

"I just admire how good you are with them, that's all I wanted to say," he admits. "I feel like I never know what to say to kids. I look at them and I just..." He sighs. "I don't know, I think about how fragile they are. How easy it is to scar a mind that's still developing. And I want to be good with them, like you. I've always wanted..." He trails off.

He's always wanted to have a family of his own. Hannibal knows that by now. He knows about the mountain of what-if's weighing Will down, too.

"Jonah seems to like you," Hannibal offers.

Will looks toward the tree. Jonah has a large plastic dinosaur, as well as his kaleidoscope and a drawing of a basset hound. He moves to join a larger group- his church group, Will's guessing. They barely seem to notice him.

"He's a good kid."

"Yes, he is."

"It bothers me that I can't do more," Will confesses. "I look around at all this and it just reminds me how badly I wanted someone to just...see me, when I was Jonah's age. Just to be acknowledged. Known."

"You see them."

Will looks back at Hannibal. The other man is giving him his full attention.

"You are healing the wound, Will, as am I. By taking young Jonah under your wing tonight, you were seeking to make up for where others failed you. There's no shame in that."

He sighs, runs his hand through his curls. "Maybe so."

Another brief silence. Hannibal watches the little girl from earlier bring a doll to her mother, begging her to open the clamshell packaging.

"I'm afraid I lied to those children, you know."

Will looks at him, arches a brow.

Hannibal smirks. "My favorite animal is the Oceanic Sunfish, commonly known as the Mola Mola. But they wouldn't have guessed something so specific."

He laughs, shaking his head again. "Of course it is. I don't know what those kids see in you."

"Well, what do you see in me?"

Will feels the blush creeping up again. "I'm sorry?"

"You clearly enjoy my company, there must be a reason."

He breathes out a nervous laugh. "W-well, I-"

"Will!"

Will turns to see Jonah running up to him. "Hey, what's up?"

"Ms. Ashford says we have to go after everyone gets a present, but I wanted to thank you for hanging out with me before we left."

Will is practically beaming. "Well, thank you, Jonah. I had fun. I hope you did, too."

"I did!" He looks up at Hannibal, gesturing with the hand clutching the drawing. "Thank you for the dog, Hannibal!"

Hannibal nods to him. "It was my pleasure."

He starts to leave, and Will can't stop himself from speaking.

"Hey, Jonah. I wanna tell you something."

Jonah frowns up at him, and Will kneels to meet his level.

"Listen, uh," he swallows. "You're a special kid, alright? And people don't always get that. They don't know how to treat people who are different. But one of these days-"

Will takes a slow breath, forces himself to smile again. "One of these days, you're gonna meet somebody who's weird in all the same ways you are. And then, you'll feel glad that you're different."

"You think so?" He asks, voice small and unsure.

Will leans close and whispers, sharing a secret.

"I did."

Jonah smiles. Will catches the eye of an older woman with glasses, giving him a pretty severe look. "I think it's time for you to go," he says. "But you be good, okay?"

"Merry Christmas in July, Will!"

Will laughs, moving to stand again. "Merry Christmas in July, Jonah."

-

"It's a fascinating concept- Christmas in July," Hannibal muses.

Will snorts, tossing another empty plate into a black garbage bag. "Yeah, it's weird, right? One of those regional things, I guess. It doesn't seem that strange to me because I grew up around it, but when I take a step back, it's definitely weird."

"It's charming, though," he says, and he's giving Will that look again. It sets butterflies off in his stomach.

"And what does Christmas look like back home?" Will prods.

Hannibal shrugs. "More similar to yours than you might expect. Trees, snow, Santa Claus. We have a large family meal. Twelve courses, traditionally."

Will whistles low. "That sounds like quite the undertaking."

He laughs. "It is. Many Lithuanians fast the day before in preparation."

"Do you go for the full twelve, when you celebrate?"

"There are quite a few courses at the Holiday Party I throw every year," he says. "But I dine alone on Christmas, so it wouldn't be practical to cook so much."

Will frowns. The idea of Hannibal alone on Christmas twists his heart. "Yeah, me too, actually," he admits. "Just me and my dogs."

"Come to think of it, this is the closest I've come to spending Christmas with another person in quite some time."

He swallows, nervous energy setting his heart pounding. "W-we could always make plans to spend Christmas together, this year. If you wanted to."

Hannibal gives him a quizzical look. Will is blushing fiercely at this point.

"I don't know if I could manage twelve courses, with how decadent your cooking is, but I could certainly give it the old college try."

To his relief, Hannibal smiles. "I'd like that," he says. "Although, perhaps we could use tonight as a trial run, of sorts. Before we commit to such a dinner."

Will furrows his brow. "What do you mean?"

"Come home with me, Will," He says, nonchalant as ever.

Will balks for a moment, flushing to his ears in an instant. "I- Doctor Lecter," he flounders, too stunned to say much more.

Hannibal steps closer to him, brings their faces just a matter of inches apart.

"I see you, Will. I do. You are no longer alone, not if you don't want to be."

Will's heart stops. "I..."

A set of warm fingertips come to Will's jaw. "I was overjoyed to see you here tonight, do you know that? Purely delighted. I always am."

Will feels a buzz tingling on his skin, starting at his fingertips and spreading throughout his body.

Hannibal moves to stroke Will's cheek with his thumb, eyes so brimming with affection that it threatens to spill over, fill the space between them and drown him. "You were so precious, watching over little Jonah. Perhaps it's selfish, but I'd prefer if this Christmas- however seasonally inappropriate it may be- did not have to end just yet."

He swallows hard, feeling lightheaded. He lets his eyes flutter closed, lips parting.

"Hey, stop slacking off!"

Will jumps back, heart hammering as he turns to see Beverly peeking her head in. "The faster we get done cleaning this mess up, the faster we can all go home," She adds, giving Will a pointed look that makes him want to sink into the ground.

"Okay, okay, we're cleaning. Calm down, boss," Will says, waving her away.

When she leaves, Will catches Hannibal by the tie, pulling him in for a quick, soft kiss. It feels like a warm fire on a cold night, like mulled wine and frosted windows and a sense of gratitude for seasons passed.

"Yes," he says, grinning from ear to ear. He releases the tie, moving to continue cleaning up. "Be quick, and when we leave I'll be right behind you. Mery Christmas."