Work Text:
It was a cold night. Even that the day had been sunny, the sun still wasn’t as strong in spring as it would have been in summer. The nights still came early and with them it fast started to get colder too. Still, it wasn’t as freezing as it had been in winter for the last few days at least.
Dean took in the fresh night air with a deep breath. Slowly strolling around his car, which he had parked somewhere in the middle of nowhere, so it seemed. But it wasn’t, not for him.
When he was still a child he had come here, after he once had highjacked their father’s car. His father had been off hunting and Sami had been gone to a friend and would stay overnight. Dean had wished him luck with the girl that clearly had a thing for his brother, but he didn’t even seem to care. He had hoped that day his father would finally come home, or at least to the motel room they called home for the last couple of weeks. In the end it had been a lonely night, so he had taken off. Thanksgiving for Dean had always been a family day, and even that their father never had been a typical holiday person, he had liked every holiday they had spent together. He still remembered that his mother had once made this amazing turkey which had let him feel stuffed for a week. He hadn’t known back then that his mother couldn’t really cook a thing. It had been nice.
But that one Thanksgiving had seemed to become the worst one ever. He had loved the car back then already so he just had drove it around, not caring that his father would be mad at him. He had only been 13 years old back then. But that night he had found this place. With only some small bushes and trees around, there were a field full of wildflowers and plants. Green high grass grew there, and it had seemed as if no human had ever been there. It had been quiet, maybe a bit too quiet for a young boy. Back then he had turned on the music as loud as he could and stole one of the beers of his father out of the cool box. But all that singing, and drinking hadn’t brought him any nearer to his family. He had still felt alone. But since then, when ever they were near there, and he had needed time for himself, he had come here. He had sat in the grass and listened to his favorite music. It was one of the few places, where he felt he could be himself. Truly and without someone judging. It was a secret place only he knew about. Not even Sam knew about this place.
Leaning against the cowling of his baby now, he placed the two beers on it too. His eyes wandered up to the stars at the clear spring sky. Taking another deep breath, he closed them. Listening to the only softly playing music, coming from the tape deck of his car. A tender smile appeared at his lips when the tape deck switched to the next song.
“Over the hills and far away” by Led Zeppelin was one of the last songs on the tape. They all were important, but it had cost him weeks to create the perfect tape for today. It was time-
Biting his lips, he pushed himself away from his baby. Only a short last look over his shoulder told him everything was prepared. On a small blanket which he had placed on baby’s cowling for her protection, he had set up two small plates with homemade burgers, a bigger one with a pizza, that might have been a bit burned at the bottom and a bowl with fries, he had brought with him from the last burger joint he had passed by. And obviously there were a pie, from one of the best pie bakeries in the whole country. Or at least near enough for him to pick it up on his way here. Everything was perfect.
Closing his eyes, he started to pray.
“Cas. I hope you can hear me. I hope you already followed the coordinates I send you an hour ago, so you should be nearby. If you are there, follow the sort of path to the northwest. You will find me there. And there is a flashlight in the glove compartment. Use it so you don’t trip. Be quick.”
After the prayer, he got a bit unsure about the whole thing. Maybe he should have rather called the angel then to send him a prayer that felt like a scavenger hunt for an unsolvable riddle. His prayer would have only rise questions in Cas’s head, which would keep him from following his instructions.
Taking out his phone he gave the path his car had made a last look, then he let his phone sink. The flashlight which could only have been the angels was coming nearer. Half in a hurry half carefully to not fell. Gladly he had already put on the small light in the Impala, which would help Cas to find him easier.
Showing his phone back in his pocket, he started to walk two steps in the direction where Cas would come from. Placing his hands in his pockets, he suddenly decided to turn away to walk back to the front of the Impala. Taking his hands out of his pockets, he tried to stay calm. Leaning against the cowling his hands nervously tapped on it before he finally crossed his arms before his chest. Looking up to the stars his left foot started tapping too. He clearly should have prepared words or something, maybe even in front of a mirror. But he really wouldn’t have wanted to tip his brother off or get caught in the middle, which would have been very embarrassing.
“Dean.” It came not long after he had finally found a nearly safe position. Pushing himself off the car, he turned to Cas a little too sudden, and nearly slipped.
“Cas.” It came from Dean with a totally insecure smile, trying to covering up his thoughts.
The angel by now had come near enough to uncover the food at the cowling, after he had looked at the surroundings. But when he was about to ask what all of this was about, Dean just held a beer in his direction.
“Thought you could join me, for some food and a beer.”
Cas took the beer, even though he didn’t usually drink or ate at all. They clinked their bottles and while the angel only took a small sip, Dean took a long deep one, half emptying the bottle.
“What is this all about?” Cas still asked, what he wondered about since he found the hunter here in the middle of nowhere with a kind of picknick.
“Told you. I maybe have exaggerated with the food.”
Cas inspected the selection again. All of it was some sort of Dean’s comfort food. But still the angel didn’t really believe that Dean would have bought all of it for himself then came out here and after placing everything here suddenly found it would be too much for him to eat. Also Dean had sent the coordinates over an hour ago and the food still seem to be warm. But he wouldn’t ask further. Usually, when Dean acted strange, it had a reason.
Walking around him, he joined the hunter to lean against the cowling, letting his gaze wander along the location.
“It is nice here.”
“I wanted to show this place to you.” Dean admitted with a tender smile on his lips. For a moment they just stood there enjoying the view, the whole scenery only enlightened by the stars and the moon.
“I come here sometimes. Mostly if I want to be alone.” He told the angel relative calmly, but avoiding eye contact for the moment. But he knew he couldn’t say what he wanted to say while looking into the night. Dean took another deep sip of the beer and turned towards the angel.
“No one knows about this place, except me. And now you.” He slowly said.
“I will keep it a secret.” Castiel promised right away and with a smile, that let Dean empty his bottle in a blink of an eye. He was way to nervous. There was way more behind this place and the night picknick Dean would have called his version of their first date. Only that he hadn’t told Cas what it was. He was even sure that Castiel hadn’t noticed which day in February they had, let alone would he know what it meant.
A short insecure smile appeared on Dean’s lips, after he looked back to the angel, who was again inspecting him.
“Bottle’s empty. I’ll shortly get a new one.” He told him and nearly sprinted back to the backseat of his car. Reaching through the window, he switched the bottle against a fresh one, taking his time.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid.” Dean mumbled to himself. After planning the whole evening for weeks now, he should have better looked out for signs. He didn’t even know if Cas as an angel would be able to feel the same as he did. And even if, it didn’t mean that he would reply to his planned confession in the same way. But to nearly saw Cas die by the Lance of Michael, had given him the urge to do something. At least telling him, before something bad might happen again. And bad things did happen all the time in their world.
But now they were here, and he couldn’t even bring out these three tiny words.
“This will never work.”
His heart was already racing.
“What won’t work, Dean?” The angels voice came to him, from right aside him, and with it his heart stopped. Dean froze for a moment. Getting the fresh beer out of the cool box, he turned to Cas with a smile, that couldn’t have been more insecure.
“Uhm, what?”
“You said ‘this will never work’. What won’t work?”
“Uhm nothing. Just, I should have put more cool packages in the cool box. The beer is barely cold.”
There it was again. The inspecting eyes of the angel, who already said, that he didn’t believe him, but again Cas didn’t say a thing.
“My beer is still cold. You can have it. I will take the warm one.” Cas offered, and for a moment the hunter thought about it, starring at the beer and then back at the angel in a strange way.
“It’s fine. Shall we eat?”
Without waiting for a reply, he went to the food and looked at it. When Castiel reached the front of the car again, he had already put away the beer and bit into one of the burgers.
“They are self-made, you have to try them.”
Even that the angel knew, he would probably only taste the molecules, he had gotten used to some of these things and if the hunter had really made them himself, he would do him the favor to taste them. Taking a bite, he had to admit that they weren’t bad, even better than any burger he had eaten before.
“Tasty right?” Dean grinned at him, half of his burger still in his mouth before he more choked it down.
“It is delicious.” Castiel answered truely, which let Dean even grin more.
For a moment they ate in silence, before Castiel finally asked.
“Why did you bring me here? I mean, to show me the place, you could have easily taken me with you in the first place.”
Dean gulped down the last bite of the burger and looked down. Avoiding Cas’s gaze, he started to look aside.
“I had planned to be alone here. But then, I didn’t want to.”
“You are making no sense, Dean.”
The hunter had known he wouldn’t be able to bring out the three tiny words, but to his luck the music just jumped to the last track of the mixtape.
“This song is perfect. Listen to it.” He said when Led Zeppelin’s Thank You started to play.
Castiel’s eyes got confused again, since the Hunter still didn’t made sense at all. Looking to the car he still listened to the music.
“If the sun refused to shine
I would still be loving you”
Dean slowly looked up to Castiel, insecure, his gaze asking. He hoped the angel would understand.
“When mountains crumble to the sea
There will still be you and me”
Castiel still listened to the song, but he never met Dean’s gaze. And when he finally turned back to him, the hunter again looked into the far wide of the beautiful location.
“I like the song.”
“You do?” It came way too fast from Dean, even surprised, when he finally looked back to Cas. Hope rose in his eyes when he heard the next words.
“I do.” Castiel said a soft smile on his lips. “And I do understand.” Cas now turned his gaze to Dean. “It has a nice sound, that is why you like it so much.”
Dean still looked at him, waiting for more.
“It has a meaning too.” He hoped to make the angel understand.
“It has. The woman who it is written to must be a very lucky one.” Castiel finally said and let his gaze wander to the nature himself. He would need to distract himself. If this was a test run for Dean to impress a woman, he found for himself, it would surely work. And that would mean Cas never would be more to him than a friend.
With Cas’s words Dean’s heart dropped to the floor instantly. His mouth opened, there were just no words. He so had hoped that Cas would understand the meaning behind the song. How much he just wanted to shout at him. Scream, that Cas himself was the one for him. How much he just wanted to tell him the truth. These words, he just couldn’t get over his lips. ‘It’s you Cas. I love you.’
This confession was the true reason behind everything. But not a word came out of his mouth and with the last song, the music went silent. After a moment Dean finally came back out of his shock. Walking around the car, he opened the front door and pushed the tape out of the tape deck. Taking it with him, he held it in front of the angel.
“Take it.”
Cas again looked confused but took the tape.
“Thank you, but…”
“Just listen to it very carefully.” And maybe one day, so Dean hoped, the angel would understand the meaning of the songs he mixed at the tape especially for tonight. For their night. His eyes were now steady and directed at the angel. Cas wouldn’t be able to withstand this eyes much longer. Placing them on the tape, he nodded slowly. ‘Deans Top 13 Zepp Traxx’ it read and now he leaned them to him.
“Thank you, Dean.” Honestly the angel answered, he would hold it higher than the Hunter would probably expect. Carefully placing the tape into his coat, his eyes followed the older of the Winchester brothers who was taking his place aside of Cas again. Dean now leaned against the cowling and raised his beer.
“To a beautiful night.”
“At a beautiful place.” Cas added when they clinked their beers.
>>With the most beautiful man of all. << The angel thought, sending a tender smile to the hunter, who had his eyes closed. A soft smile also appeared on Dean’s lips when he felt his heartbeat rose again. Only being near the angel did this to him. And only to be here with Cas made this place, this night even more perfect.