Chapter Text
Cold. The feeling of low temperature in a given area, especially in relation to the human body. Cold wraps around the body in the same way warmth does, making it the other side of the same coin. Both were two spirits posing as both devils and angels simultaneously, looming over one’s shoulder. On certain days, cold is preferred over warmth, providing a blissful chill that lets the body return to equilibrium. However, warmth is preferred over cold on days where the biting winds are just too much, needing that sweet glow to melt away the frost that has accumulated over someone’s skin.
Cold can be interpreted in many different ways. Cold can be the feeling of isolation, socially or emotionally. It can mean the complete lack of regard for emotion in a person, or it can mean loss, something not filling a void where it should. To Aether, cold was all he knew. It was like a home to him, giving him an oxymoronic sense of comfort and tenderness. It was always there for him, caressing him and taking care of him, feeding his thoughts. As such, that’s why he didn’t mind that he was presently soaked to the bone. He had forgotten to check the weather for the coming walk. Living in the midwest was difficult—blazing heat that quickly flipped around to shuddering cold, which then whipped back again to douse everyone in a blanket of water. Aether left his home in a light sweater, expecting a calm breeze to sweep by, barely penetrating his jacket. The weather gods had other ideas, as when he was two blocks from his apartment, he found that his clothes were drenched with the pungent smell of rain.
He sighed. It was already too late to turn back around. If he did have the time, he didn’t have the energy to do so anyhow. Aether was perpetually tired, sunken by his own family troubles. A lot had happened within the past couple of years. His father died when Aether and his sister were young, leaving his mother in a depressed and crazed state of mania. She took to drinking and fell into abusive habits, taking out her grief on him and his sister. Lumine was his saving grace. She blocked punches, slaps, and kicks for him that left purple puddles all over her skin. However, despite all of that, she put on a smile for Aether, reassuring him as their mother rode out the episode.
Once both of them saved up ample money from doing odd jobs and acquired real jobs upon entering high school, the twins found an apartment to live in. It took a bit of coercion and convincing. Still, the two teenagers were allowed to stay in an apartment near their high school for cheap, as their landlord took pity on their situation. There they lived by themselves, away from the wanton tornado that was their mother. Every once in a while, they returned home to check on her, but she remained the same, each and every time. Aether and Lumine heard their mother sobbing when they left again, the only thing ringing in the twins’ hearts being heartfelt pity and sadness for their mom.
Everything was fine after that until Lumine disappeared without warning, leaving only a note on their table that simply read, “I love you. I’m sorry.” Aether was sent into a panic, scrambling around trying to find information about his sister. Anything. A few people here and there had little scraps of knowledge of where she had gone, but outside of those very vague leads, Aether was stuck. Her trail, as quickly as her disappearance, went cold. His sister was gone. She was alive, he presumed, but she had run away, leaving Aether a mess. His emotional state spiraled downward into depression; he was a wreck for a solid week, not even showing up to school.
In the time he was gone, however, he delved into the hobby of geospatial mapping. He figured that since he was pouring all of his energy into trying to find his sister with the few geographical clues that he had, he may as well put it toward something useful. As he grew more familiar with the subject, he took on small commissions alongside school and his normal job. They were fairly simple, just filling out and updating maps with current geographical information he pulled from reports and surveys. However, he found a certain solace in filling out these maps, taking immense pride in his work. It was killing two birds with one stone—he was contributing to the general public, and he also got to scan reports of the area and the people that have come through.
However, that did not do much in the way of filling the coldness that plagued his whole body. The one source of familial warmth was taken away from him. The light of his life and the only person he could trust. Gone, whisked away by the wind of fate. His apartment, while only being 600 square feet in size, felt enormous without Lumine. The fridge was always stocked. The living room was breezy, despite having all the windows closed. The dinner table that could seat four was used by one person, an aching reminder of how lonely his apartment was. Coming home should’ve been something he looked forward to. Now, coming home felt like a chore.
Aether looked up at the sky, feeling the fat droplets fall on his face. They fell down his cheeks like bitter rivers, collecting at his chin. On days like this, he couldn’t tell the difference between the rain and his own tears. They all cascaded down his skin equally. He shoved his hands in his pockets and kept walking forward, contemplating the soggy forthcoming day. That was, until he heard some footsteps pitter-pattering toward him. All of a sudden, the rain stopped, battering against a vinyl dome.
“Hey, didja forget an umbrella?”
Aether turned to the voice that had spoken to him. It was a girl just slightly shorter than him, sporting a long brunette hair held back by a red hairband. She was dressed in a matching red raincoat and knee-high rubber rainboots, all over black leggings. The girl held her umbrella over the soaked boy as she awaited his answer.
“I guess.”
“Well, it doesn’t matter. We can share this one if you’d like!”
He supposed it wouldn’t hurt. Besides, he was already soaking wet, so it’s not like it mattered if he got any wetter or drier. It was going to be a sticky day for him regardless of whether or not she had shown up.
“Thanks,” he mumbled. The two began walking, and the girl turned to him.
“Hey, you go to Barbatos High, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Cool! What year are you in? I’m a junior.”
“I’m a junior as well.”
“Hey, great!” the girl chirped. “I’m Amber, nice to meet ya!” She extended a hand to Aether.
“I’m… Aether. Likewise.” He took her hand apprehensively and shook it. When he shook her hand, the first thing he felt was that her hand was abnormally warm. Like she had just stuck her hand in coals and then walked off to school. Aether looked at her in the eyes, and she had a smile plastered on her face to match the bright burning embers of her hand. Aether’s expression wilted slightly as he regarded her. It had been a long time since he had seen a smile like that, especially directed at him. He wondered what mechanisms lay behind that smile, deep within her psyche. The pair walked to school in relative silence until they got to the main campus parking lot, where they parted ways with a slight wave.
The following day, Aether found himself in more comfortable weather. It was only overcast, and the only adverse condition was perhaps a mild breeze blowing by like a whisper in his ear. Aether blew a loose strand of hair out of his face. He really should cut it, but it’s gotten so long at that point that it’s become a personal challenge to see how far he can grow it out without it looking ridiculous. He padded on as his braid swung in tandem with his footsteps. His cadence was interrupted by the sound of feet rushing toward him. The blonde turned around to see the girl that provided him an umbrella the day before. What was her name again?
“Aether! Nice to see you again!” Today, the girl was clad in a bunny-themed red crewneck, an above-knee black skirt, stockings, and red Chuck Taylors. Her hair was pulled back by the same headband she wore the day before. She seemed to really like red.
“Good morning… uh,” Aether paused, scraping the reaches of his archives for her name.
“Didja forget my name already?” she smiled at him, slightly exasperated.
“Sorry,” came the gruff reply.
“It’s Amber! And don’t you forget it,” she winked playfully.
“Right. Sorry, Amber.”
“You know now, so it’s all good!” she hummed.
Amber joined Aether’s side as they made their way to school for the day. Aether became lost in thought as they walked in silence for a few minutes. Why had she come up to him for the second day in the row? In the same exact spot, no less? He crammed his hands in his hoodie pockets as he contemplated the girl’s actions. His musings were suddenly sliced through by Amber’s words.
“Do you always walk this way?”
“Always have been.”
“How come I haven’t seen you until now? It’s like, March.”
Now that he thought about it, that was an incredibly good point. In the months since he moved to his apartment, why hasn’t he seen Amber at all on his walks to school? Granted, the walk was only about seven minutes (he had pulled out his phone and timed it out of curiosity). Still, since the school year started in September, he hadn’t the foggiest idea as to how the peppy girl evaded his route.
“No clue.”
Amber crossed her arms in thought.
“Maybe I’ve just left at a completely different time than you.”
“Probably.”
“Hmm…” the girl thought before sighing loudly.
“You don’t talk that much, do you?”
Aether simply shrugged.
“You’re no fun!” the girl pouted.
“So I’m told.”
“It’s fine. Regardless of how little conversation you make, it’s nice having a walking buddy.”
“I’m glad.”
“Well, we’re here, and this is where we part ways. Until tomorrow, Aether!”
“Sure.”
Aether wasn’t sure why she felt the incessant need to talk to him. He appreciated the gesture the day before with the umbrella, but he didn’t think that warranted a follow-up. She seemed nice enough, and there didn’t seem to be any ill will behind her actions, but Aether still found it all so confusing, nonetheless. As Amber walked away, lightly jogging to meet up with her friends, he felt an odd sensation drift further away from him that left the hairs on his arm standing up. Aether quickly stuffed that into the back of his mind as he walked to class, however.
The rest of the week was about the same. Amber would jog up to meet him, engage in a spot of small talk, then would walk with him in relative silence to school. By the end of the first week, however, Amber began to slowly ask him questions about himself. In his typical fashion, he gave her short answers that were enough to satisfy her.
“Do you have any pets?”
“No.”
“Do you want one?”
“Maybe.”
“Dogs or cats?”
“Hmm, cats.”
No matter how sparse his answers were, the girl kept pressing, like a stubborn mule pulling an impossibly heavy load. He wanted to ask why, but he knew that she would give some throwaway answer like ‘Because I want to!’ or something dumb like that. Despite his initial annoyance at her antics, he answered every question without fail. Even the silliest of questions, such as ‘What does water taste like?’ got her an answer. (Water, he answered, much to Amber’s chagrin.)
“Do you have any siblings?”
Silence. It was the only question Aether did not respond to.
“Aether?”
The girl looked at him and saw his hollow gaze focus upon the sidewalk ahead. The rest of his facial features seemed to drift down the more prolonged the silence was upheld.
“Sorry,” she murmured, feeling bad about being insensitive. They finished that day’s walk in gloomy silence. Lumine’s name rang in his head again, reminding him of the empty space in his apartment, haunting him with her absence. However, not all hope was lost as Aether returned to his usual self the next day; he was typically quick to rebound off minor things like that. The weeks dwindled on, and Aether began seeing Amber more during their passing periods
1.)
between classes. A simple smile and wave were the extent of their hallway exchanges, where they then continued with their day.
In passing, Aether took note of the friend group that Amber hung around. He saw quite a few ‘big names’ in there, so to speak. She hung out with people like Barbara, Kaeya, and Eula. They weren’t bad people by any means, but they were very prolific around the school. It seemed as if Amber was one of those ‘popular’ people. Interesting. Why was she insisting on talking to some bum like him, then? It’s not like interacting with him would bring her status or anything. But hey , to each their own , Aether thought. If that’s what she wants, that’s what she wants.
One day, Amber didn’t show up to school. Amber not being there in the morning and during the day felt a little odd to him. There was a deafening silence ringing in his ear as he walked to school. The typical (mostly) one-sided banter that Amber would run his ear with was replaced by the occasional car rushing by, the sound of his shoes against the pavement, and the cacophony of the morning birdsongs. Most of all, though, there was a sucking void next to him. One that he wasn’t used to. It was cold. Even though it was right at the beginning of May, a sensation of coolness lingered on his left arm. It was like a leaf stuck in his shoe. Too small for him to go out of his way to remove it, but big enough for him to absently notice it.
During school, Aether found himself expecting to meet Amber's eyes at specific locations around campus. When he turned a corner, the sight of Amber's golden-brown eyes eluded him, causing a feeling of… disappointment? That was odd. She was just some girl that insisted on pestering him every morning, so why should he care? Even at a distance, he found his eyes scanning Amber's friend group, looking for the organized mess of brunette hair. He sighed to himself. If he asked himself 'why?' over and over again, he was confident that more questions than answers would come to fruition.
Amber was back alive and well the following day, though. She said that she had a minor stomach bug or something, which was why she opted to stay home from school. Aether simply smiled and said, "welcome back," which caused Amber to jolt and divert her eyes.
"Th-thanks," she stammered. Aether quirked an eyebrow at her reaction but wrote it off as another item to add to the list of things that Amber does that struck him as odd. The pair walked to school and parted ways as usual, at least until midday.
When lunchtime came around for Aether, he had a routine that he would always stick to. He would go to the deli lady, get a turkey sandwich with extra pepperoncinis, then sit down in the same corner every day. He ate alone, as was the typical fashion for him. Aether sat himself in the corner that allowed him to face the entire cafeteria, which gave him right-of-way to observe all those who came and went. He had gotten good at people-watching as a result. The tendencies of groups became more familiar to him the longer he sat by himself, and he could reliably predict what a specific type of person would do in a lunchroom environment.
That’s why when Amber decided to sit by him that day, Aether felt like he was going to be launched out of his chair in shock.
“Hi, Aether!”
“Hello, Amber.”
“Do you sit here every day?”
He nodded.
“By your self ?”
“Always have.”
“ Sheesh, you’re lonelier than I thought!” Amber exclaimed, putting her hands on her hips.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Aether questioned, mock offended.
“I knew that you don’t talk to anyone, but to think that you don’t even have anyone to sit with at lunch!”
“What’s it to you, then?”
“What do you mean ‘what’s it to me’? I’m gonna sit with you now!” Amber declared, flashing him a bright smile. Aether gulped, and his throat squeezed. As the brunette brought her lunch out, Aether was at a loss for words. He wasn’t usually one for conversation, but this was the first time someone had actually made him lose his capability to speak. Why? Why couldn’t he say anything? Looking at Amber, he felt his face heat up, dispelling the icy mask that he wore, just for a second. Seeing her smile as she happily chewed on her sandwich only served to melt him more. After a second of consideration, all Aether managed to choke out was,
“What…” he cleared his throat. “What about your friends?”
Amber looked up, surprised that Aether had said something to her.
“What was that?”
“Your friends. Don’t you usually sit with your friends?”
“Oh, yeah,” she laughed awkwardly. “They, uh, got moved to a different lunch.
2.)
”
“Right…” Don’t they all have the same fourth period? As he said that, Aether realized he had no business knowing that. She probably told me that at some point. Yeah, let’s go with that.
The two ate their lunches in relative silence from then on, mainly because Aether was too inside his own head to say something cohesive. However, Aether wasn’t completely tuned out of the world as he noticed the sideways glances that the pair were getting. After a few minutes, it became unbearable, and Aether had to ask.
“You do realize that people are staring at us, right?”
“Yeah. What of it?”
“Doesn’t it bother you?”
“Not really,” Amber shrugged. “If they wanna judge, let them. I’m just sitting with a lonely boy at lunch; what’s the big deal? Besides, it’s you, so I don’t really care.”
She had done it again. It was like her words had grabbed his entire respiratory system and crumpled it up into a ball. Aether had been silenced by Amber against his will.
“Amber, I-” Aether coughed.
“Hm?”
“...nevermind.” He turned his attention to his sandwich, trying and failing to focus on anything but the nagging warmth on his face. Slowly but surely, Amber had managed to thaw the rime that Aether had collected upon his soul. Amber noticed it too, as she found that Aether had started to wait for her outside of his apartment in the mornings before they engaged in their early hour walk.
“You’re waiting for little old me? Does that mean that you’re actually starting to like me?”
“You were going to run to catch up to me anyway, so I thought that I may as well save you the breath.”
“Uh-huh,” she said, a smug smile spreading along her lips. “The dumb smile on your face says otherwise.”
Aether bashfully looked away.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Amber giggled heartily. “I’m just teasing you! You should know this by now.”
Aether sighed, having fallen right into her trap. Regardless of her friendly jabs, he began initiating more conversations, giving her more than one or two words in response to her questions. Much to Amber’s delight, Aether started asking her questions of his own, too. He didn’t know what it was. For some reason, being around Amber put him at ease. She dulled his edge whenever she was with him, and she allowed him to relax. He could forget his troubles just for a moment when he heard her laugh or when her voice simply washed over his body. For the first instance in a very long time, he found himself smiling, too. A natural, passive smile broke out whenever he saw her, and it felt nice. Even if it was just the slightest of smiles, Aether’s cheeks would hurt after a short while. The ice that had settled upon his psyche dripped in greater volumes the longer he spent with Amber. He wasn’t used to it, but for once in his life, he had a friend. Someone he could come to on a rainy day.
The school year was coming to a close, and soon enough, posters were popping up around campus for the senior prom. Right, prom. The biggest dance of the school year that was the social culmination of every 12th-year student’s romantic life, or, rather, lack thereof. Aether really didn’t see the point in it. It was just an excuse to dress up nice, only for it all to be ruined in a matter of seconds, getting sweaty in a mingle of bodies. Looking forward at his own life, he realized that he would soon be a senior. Time flies , he supposed. He figured that he should go to prom since it was a once-in-a-lifetime thing, but did he really have to? It was all so superficial and stupid. It would be a few hours that he could be spending working, looking for his sister, or doing literally anything else.
Aether suddenly felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up as a voice pierced his auditory senses.
“Whatcha thinkin’ about there, Ae?”
“Just how dumb prom is. Also, Ae?”
Amber cheekily grinned. “We’re friends now, so I felt like I should give you a nickname!”
“R-right…” Aether’s heart swelled.
“Anyways, what’s so dumb about prom? It’s supposed to be a night where the seniors can just cut loose and hang out with their friends in fancy clothes.”
“But won’t your makeup and clothing get ruined by getting all sweaty?”
“They can, but most of the time, people are sitting around at dances or talking to their friends.”
Aether was thoroughly dumbfounded. “Doesn’t that… defeat the purpose of the dance?”
“Hmm, I guess, but the whole point is to just have fun with your friends! It doesn’t matter whether or not you dance; you just go to mess around in fancy clothes.”
“I’m still not convinced.”
“I kinda figured. Don’t worry, you’ve got a whole year to decide whether or not to go! Although, I’m probably gonna drag you into it, regardless of what you decide.”
“Knock yourself out. That doesn’t change the fact that it’s kinda dumb.”
“You’re really stubborn, you know that?” Amber pouted.
“I know,” Aether smirked.
Graduation came and went, and as Aether stood outside of his sixth and final period, the weight of him being a senior finally settled in. He was going to have to start thinking about what he wanted to do in the future. He liked doing all of the geospatial information processing, so he figured that he was going to end up doing that for a career. He already had good foundational skills from freelancing, so he may as well take classes to further his efficiency and knowledge. Aether shrugged his shoulders as he began his walk home. He would have to find a good school that suited him at some point, but he’d burn that bridge when he got there.