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Wei Wuxian hadn’t understood what was happening. A moment ago, he was beginning to drift into a slumber, after successfully securing prey, and now he was being pinned to a tree. Immediately, he began struggling, trying to break free from the hold and lift the blindfold but the person pushed their weight onto him, refusing to set him free; the lack of killing intent confused him, leaving him conflicted as to what the person's intentions were and to what he should do in this situation. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t break free to grab either his talismans or Chenqing but it was odd to him that the person was trembling as if they were nervous when he was the one being subdued.
Slowly, Wei Wuxian could feel them leaning in closer, he could feel their breath tickling his skin nearing his lips. Oh. He was beginning to understand what was happening and felt himself getting flustered at the sudden realisation but just as it had dawned on him what was happening, the weight left him and he heard the deeply frustrated grunt from the other person. Wow, this maiden seems to have a deep voice to match her strength. He could hear their footsteps begin to turn away and Wei Wuxian quickly ripped off the blindfold. To his surprise, there had been no maiden.
“Lan Zhan?”
Lan Zhan immediately stopped. His back had been to Wei Wuxian and his head held down, his fists were clenched and he was still trembling, his breathing was heavy and shaky. Not his usual calm demeanour. Neither of them moved for what felt like hours but it could have only been a few minutes; Wei Wuxian was still processing what had just happened and the sudden reveal that it was Lan Zhan from the beginning. “Erm, Lan Zhan? W-what…” he didn’t know what to say. He tried his best to put on his usual carefree voice but the adrenaline still had him shaking and it was evident in his voice. Lan Zhan tried to kiss me? Lan Wangji? Kiss? Me? He couldn't help but feel confused as he ran a hand through his hair.
Suddenly in a quick motion, Lan Zhan unsheathed Bichen and began slashing at the tree to his side which made Wei Wuxian jump. He was shaking, frustrated grunts left his lips and his eyes were red as if he was going to cry...Wei Wuxian was stunned, to say the least. He’d never seen Lan Zhan like this. Just as fast as he’d unsheathed Bichen, he threw the sword to the ground and began punching the tree until it snapped in half. “I’m sorry.” It was barely a whisper, the sadness and anger in his voice made Wei Wuxian’s heart tug. Lan Zhan sat down with his head hung low in what appeared to be shame.
Wei Wuxian took a deep uneasy breath and moved to sit beside Lan Zhan. They sat in silence and for once Wei Wuxian didn’t know what to say he was stunned by not only Lan Zhan’s attempt at kissing him but his behaviour afterwards; he’d always been so graceful and rarely displayed too much emotion, believing it needless. To see him so angry and shaken…
“I’m sorry,” he said again but this time he sounded slightly calmer yet more distant. “Upon my return to the Cloud Recesses, I’ll discuss my punishment with uncle and Xichen.” He still didn’t look at Wei Wuxian but rather was glaring at the ground as if the earth had done him wrong.
Wei Wuxian lifted up a leg and let his arm rest on it, he leaned back on the trunk of the tree and looked up at the sky. The sun was still blazing but there was a cool breeze accompanying it. Faintly in the distance, the sound of the long-forgotten hunt could be heard. Wuxian left out a sigh then a little chuckle. “Lan Zhan Lan Zhan Lan Zhan” he shook his head as he said it then turned to look at the man, who was also looking up at the sky, his emotions once again masked but his jaw was set tight like he was bracing for something. “And here I thought you always hated me. That you couldn’t stand my presence but now…” He trailed off and let out another chuckle. Lan Zhan always seemed like he hated him, never engaging with him or wanting to be around him but thinking about it, his behaviour made a bit of sense.
Lan Zhan closed his eyes and let out a sigh. “I’ve never hated you. Irritated sometimes but never hate.” Finally, he turned to look at Wei Wuxian with a hint of sadness and guilt tracing his beautiful features that were usually devoid of any emotion. Strangely enough, Wei Wuxian liked seeing him like this. It showed that, unlike popular belief, he wasn’t made out of stone and he had emotions that ran strongly through him and sometimes not even the great Lan Wangji could tame those emotions. Those desires.
“Tell me honestly, Lan Zhan” he twisted his body so he was properly facing him and moved noticeably closer to him but Lan Zhan responded by slowly shifting away. “What am I to you? You’ve always been so hard to read and to be honest, it gets a little annoying. After Xuanwu Cave, I thought we’d be closer but you always push me away.” It felt strange, talking to Lan Zhan like this, but also nice. Since coming back from Burial Mounds, it felt like he hadn’t really been open with anyone as if he was retreating back into himself. Kind of like Lan Zhan always does, I guess.
“You’re the first person to ever approach me, want to be around me...want to be friends with me” Wei Wuxian felt pain hearing those words and he could hear the pain in them. “I-I thought of you as a friend, as a soulmate and more but I can understand if you don’t feel the same, especially after-”
“But I do! I mean, I am still your friend and there’s no denying that we were soulmates” Wei Wuxian felt a small flame begin to light and warm his heart, burning away some of the darkness that had taken refuge there. Someone wanted him. Lan Zhan looked at him with surprise, his lips slightly agape and his eyes searching for something on Wei Wuxian’s face. “As for the ‘more’,” he looked down and cupped his chin in wonder as he thought about the ‘more’ Lan Zhan was talking about. Did I like Lan Zhan that way? Do I like men? He thought. There was always something between us but was it those feelings? He looked up at Lan Zhan as if he’d find the answers there.
There was something there. Wei Wuxian knew it. He’d never felt such persistence like he did when trying to get Lan Zhan’s attention; he liked making him smile and he hated seeing him so lonely, he wanted to make him happy but he always felt he was a nuisance to him. He felt a sense of relief knowing that Lan Zhan actually enjoyed having him around and his past reactions were most likely him trying to figure out his own feelings or push them away. I’d be irritable if out of everyone, I fell for someone who was so different yet so similar to...oh.
Dragging him from his thoughts, Lan Zhan let out a breath of air and stood up. “Wei Ying, I’ve accepted if you don’t feel the same-”
“You haven’t even given me a chance to say whether I do or not,” Wei Wuxian lifted himself up as well and faced him with feigned confidence, as the fast pacing of his heart reminded him how nerve-racking this whole situation was. “I know I see you as more than a friend too, I know that I like you a lot Lan Zhan and that I’ve liked you for a while” Lan Zhan’s eyes widened, the corner of his lips lifting slightly as relief washed over him. “I guess we could explore the ‘more’ and see where it takes us...yeah?” Wei Wuxian knew he was blushing and he was too nervous to look at Lan Zhan’s face any longer.
“Can I kiss you?” His voice was soft and after sneaking a peek through his eyelashes, he could see that the tips of Lan Zhan's ears were pink which made Wei Wuxian’s heart flutter; too shy to speak he simply nodded then felt a soft pair of lips grace his own. They both smiled into the kiss as it deepened. Separating, they pressed their foreheads together and sighed with content.
“To think that all this time you were just horny, Lan Zhan.”
“Don’t ruin the moment, Wei Ying.”
“Sorry.”