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“And it’s Hinata with the spike to win the match! Japan has won gold!”
Everything felt like it was in slow motion as Kageyama watched Hinata land back onto the court. This was it. The moment he’d waited for. Winning Olympic gold with Hinata.
Hinata glanced down at his own hand before clenching it into a fist and letting out his victory cry.
Kageyama didn’t even register the screams around them as Hinata turned to him, locking eyes with him.
“Kageyama, we did it!” Hinata shouted as he charged at him. “We won!”
Kageyama raised his hands and Hinata jumped to high-five him. His smile shined the brightest he’d ever seen.
“Shouyou!”
Hinata turned and shouted “Atsumu!” as he took off towards the other man. He threw his arms around Atsumu, who pulled him into a tight embrace.
Kageyama felt his gut twist as he looked at them. This wasn’t how he imagined it would go.
Other teammates swarmed Hinata and Atsumu for a group hug. Kageyama felt someone nudge him forward with a “come on!” His body sluggishly moved forward to join the rest of his team.
This wasn’t how he envisioned this moment would go at all.
After the ceremony and post interviews and photos, everyone went their separate ways. It wasn’t a total surprise. Except Kageyama really wanted to, no, needed to talk to Hinata. He already waited too long to confess. He needed to set things straight between them from where they left off years ago.
He lost sight of which way Hinata went so he picked a direction and looked around for him. He didn’t realize until now how big this place was.
Kageyama rounded a corner and froze. Just ahead of him were undoubtedly Hinata and Atsumu.
Hinata was pressed back against the wall as Atsumu leaned into him, kissing him.
Kageyama knew it was wrong to stand there and watch, but his body wouldn’t move. Surely, Hinata didn’t want this. He should step in and stop Atsumu, right?
That thinking went out the window as he watched Hinata not push Atsumu away but instead pull him closer as he wrapped his arms around his shoulders. One hand found its way into Atsumu’s hair. Hinata wanted this from him.
Atsumu pulled away and glanced in his direction. Even with the distance between them, Kageyama felt him stare directly at him and he darted back around the corner before Hinata could see.
Kageyama leaned against the wall, breathing deep. This wasn’t supposed to be how it went.
He lost track of how long he stood there. Kageyama knew he needed to leave before they passed by.
“Hey, Kageyama! There you are,” Bokuto said too loudly, walking his way.
“Shh!” Kageyama said, not wanting those two to hear.
Bokuto stopped in front of him. “Something the matter?” he asked in a lower tone. “You don’t look good.”
Kageyama didn’t know how to answer. Bokuto started to move to look around the corner when Kageyama threw his hands out to stop him. Despite the range of emotions he felt, he still wanted to protect Hinata from anyone else seeing.
“Okay, you're scaring me Kageyama. What’s going on?” he whispered.
“It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it. We should go.”
Bokuto looked at him for a moment before peeking around him to look down the hallway. He shook his head as he pulled back. “They just can’t control themselves still. We should give them their space.”
Bokuto wrapped his arm around Kageyama’s shoulders and stirred him away from the hallway.
“This - isn’t the first time they’ve done this?” His tongue felt like lead as he asked.
“Oh no. This was common after we won when Hinata was still with us at MSBY. I guess they can’t help it here either. Can’t blame them though with the long-distance relationship.”
Kageyama clenched his jaw and stopped walking, causing Bokuto to stop as well. It had gone on for this long? He couldn’t tell what hurt more; the fact Hinata was with someone else or that he didn’t know after all this time?
Bokuto didn’t say anything for a moment as he studied him. “You didn’t know, did you?”
Kageyama shook his head, unable to speak. He felt Bokuto squeeze his shoulder.
“I’m sorry to be the one to break that to you. I thought you already knew.”
“It should have been me,” Kageyama said under his breath.
“Hm? Did you say something?” Bokuto asked.
Kageyama shook his head, realizing he said that out loud. “Ah, it’s nothing. Where are you headed to, Bokuto-san?”
“I’m meeting up with some of the team. Come along with me!”
Kageyama tagged along and being with the rest of the team helped distract from his thoughts at least. That was until Hinata entered with Atsumu right behind him. Hinata was giggling at something the other said and playfully hit him.
“Look who’s finally decided to join us,” Ojiro said, earning some whoops and hollers from their teammates.
Did everybody know but him?
Hinata had the decency to look somewhat embarrassed as he hung his head but Atsumu looked smug as ever.
“Yer all just jealous,” Atsumu said once they were closer to the group. His eyes scanned the group and when they landed on Kageyama, he draped his arm over Hinata’s shoulder. Kageyama got the message loud and clear. He’s mine.
They sat down away from Kageyama so he tried to avoid looking over in their direction. Bokuto resumed the story he was telling and it was easy to focus on him.
As time passed, some of the teammates took their leave. Hoshiumi beside him left, leaving the seat open. But it didn’t say that way for long.
When Kageyama heard someone else sit down, he glanced to his right and saw the last person he wanted to see.
“Hey, Tobio-kun,” Atsumu said.
Kageyama acknowledged him with a nod before he turned away. He picked a spot across the room to focus on to keep himself in check.
Atsumu leaned towards him. “You saw us earlier, didn’t you?” he asked, his voice low so no one else heard him.
Kageyama felt heat rise on his cheeks as he nodded.
“Thought so," he said, pulling away.
“You couldn’t have picked a more private spot for that?” he asked, keeping his voice low too.
Atsumu laughed. “You can blame Shouyou for that, not me. I didn’t think you’d get this mad over it though.”
Kageyama’s shoulders tensed. He was at a loss for words.
“You didn’t know, did ya?” Atsumu sounded genuinely surprised. “Well, I guess you two aren’t as close as I thought.”
Kageyama didn’t need to look at him to know he was smirking. “It seems so. Excuse me,” he said as he stood up. He couldn’t sit there any longer.
“You’re leaving?” Bokuto asked when he noticed.
Kageyama looked around at the rest of the team now that all eyes were on him. “Yes, just feeling a bit tired is all.”
That must have been convincing enough since no one questioned him. “Alright, see you in the morning then!”
The others said their goodbyes as Kageyama made his way to the door.
Right as the doors closed behind him, he heard them open.
“Kageyama!”
If it had been anyone else but Hinata, he wouldn’t have stopped. He came to a halt but he didn’t turn around to face him as the other drew closer. “You didn’t have to come chasing after me.”
“Something seemed off about you so I wanted to check on you. What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing for you to be concerned about.” Please, don’t ask and just let me go, he thought.
Hinata sighed. “Did Atsumu say something to you?”
“Was it that obvious?”
He’s met with silence and Kageyama wishes he could see Hinata’s expression, but he doesn’t have the heart to look. He doesn't know what to do in this situation. Should he try to talk or just run away and pretend this didn’t happen?
Kageyama took a deep breath. No, he was done running away. It was time to face this and his feelings head-on. “Are you happy with him?”
“Yes, I am.” There was no hesitation in his answer.
Kageyama turned around to face Hinata, his resolve broken. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He tried to keep his tone neutral but his voice cracked anyway.
Hinata didn’t answer right away but he didn’t break eye contact. “I didn’t know how to tell you,” he said after what felt like an eternity.
“Didn’t know or didn’t want to tell me?”
“I was going to - ”
“No, I don’t think you were. I had to hear it from Bokuto instead. And then have it rubbed in by Miya himself.”
Hinata took a step forward. “I am sorry you found out that way. You’re one of my oldest friends so of course, I wanted to tell you myself, but I could never find the words or time.”
“Why was it so hard?”
Hinata tilted his head to the side and gave him a pained smile. “Because we sort of dated before, whatever it was that happened between us, and after that, it felt awkward to tell you about my new boyfriend. Then as more time passed and we saw each other less, I didn’t know how to bring it up.”
“So others got to know but not me?” Kageyama shouted. He didn't mean to, but this was just all too much for him.
Random athletes passing by glanced their way and hurried their steps. Kageyama didn’t care how they looked at that moment.
“It’s because they were either our teammates or friends that were around us often enough, so they know. It’s not like this was something we could go public with, so we kept it secret as much as possible. I wanted to -”
“Says the guy who was just making out in a public venue where anyone could see!”
His interruption caught Hinata off guard and his eyes widened. But it only lasted for a few seconds as his expression took on a dark look.
“Maybe if you attempted to be more active in my life that would have made it easier.”
Kageyama felt the knife twist in his heart. They each went their separate ways, chasing after their common goal but always found a way back to each other. He thought that was enough for them.
“Just why him?”
Hinata shook his head but a smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “Well, for a lot of reasons, but he loves me for me. On and off the court. And he was there for me in ways you weren’t.”
Kageyama felt tears well up but he would be damned if he cried right now. Thoughts swirled in his mind. I should have spoken up sooner. Should I say something now? No, that would be inappropriate since he’s with someone else. It doesn't matter now.
In the end, all he could say was, “It’s okay, Hinata. Don’t worry about me. You should go back in there to him.”
“Kageyama, I -”
He was already turning away from Hinata to take his leave. “Please, not right now.”
Hinata didn’t try to stop him as he continued down the hallway.
He was so foolish to think he could come back into Hinata’s life like this. But it wasn’t until they were separated for so long that Kageyama realized where his feelings lied. And it was clear he was too late. He missed his opportunity.