Archive of Our Own

“You’re late.”

Oikawa paused from closing the door. He just got home from work and this is the first thing he will hear? He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before closing the door fully. 

“I texted you that I’ll be late because of overtime. Didn’t you read it?” he asks while removing his coat and his shoes.

His whole body is beat. He could feel his bones already protesting from moving too much. All he wants to do right now is to lay down and sleep. He doesn’t even have the energy to eat right now and just simply wants to go to bed. Oikawa could already feel the incoming headache so he went straight to their kitchen. 

He opens the fridge and finds a couple boxes of chinese food. This is all he ate?

Oikawa grabs the nearest bottle of water and moves to the cupboard to get a glass. He hears the television going off and soon enough, he could hear the soft padding of feet against their wooden floor. Seconds later, Iwaizumi shows up in the kitchen with a deep scowl in his face. Oikawa looks at him for a second before drinking his water and the medicine for his headache. 

“You didn’t say you would be this late. It’s already 11: 30,” Iwaizumi grunts, there’s a hint of accusation in his voice but Oikawa shrugs it off. 

“It’s overtime, Haj, what do you expect? I’ll be home by 9?”

“Yes.”

Oikawa stares at him incredulously. This guy can’t be serious…

He takes another deep breath. He really doesn't want to fight with Iwaizumi right now. His body is all worn out and his limbs are already shouting at him to rest. And arguing with him right now will clearly not help him and honestly? Oikawa doesn’t have the energy for this right now.

So turns around and forces a smile on his face.

“Okay, sorry. I’ll try to go home earlier tomorrow.”

That’s all he said before grabbing his things from the counter. He just walks past him but Iwaizumi grabs his arm.

“I’m not—”

“Haj, please. Can we talk about this tomorrow? I really want to rest right now,”

Iwaizumi must have noticed the tired look on his face because he lets go of his arm and Oikawa softly bids him goodnight before walking to their bedroom.

It’s been two months since Iwaizumi started acting like that. He started asking Oikawa for updates; where he is, who’s with him, what time are you coming home, and all that stuff. At first, it was okay for him. It felt great, even, because Iwaizumi is concerned for him. Oikawa appreciates the sentiment and thought that maybe his boyfriend is just really worried for him so he let it go.

But it gets worse as weeks pass.

Oikawa clearly remembers that day. Their boss suddenly treated them to dinner after their work and he forgot to message Iwaizumi that he’ll be home late. He thought his boyfriend had gone to bed because the lights were all out except for the lamps in the living room when he got home. He didn’t expect Iwaizumi to be still awake and was actually waiting for him.

Oikawa was ready to apologize at that time but Iwaizumi beated him to it and started shouting at him while he just stood there, stunned. That was the first time Iwaizumi ever shouted at him like that. It’s not his usual playful shout but rather, full of anger that he doesn’t know what to reply. He remembers standing there in utter silence while his boyfriend was reprimanding him. Telling him that he got him worried, he was not answering his phone, not replying to his text, etc. 

Iwaizumi realized immediately that Oikawa’s not replying and stopped. There was a tense silence before the latter broke it by apologizing. It was his fault for not informing him and he was terribly sorry for it. Iwaizumi also apologized for raising his voice like that. They talked and resolved it after that but when they got to bed, Iwaizumi’s loud voice was still ringing in Oikawa’s ears.

He thought that was the end of it but it wasn’t. Before, Iwaizumi only asked what time he’ll be home. But now, he wants Oikawa to be home before 10. He wants Oikawa to reply to him immediately. Iwaizumi even started getting jealous of his co-workers. 

And honestly, Oikawa doesn't have any clue on why he is acting like this. He tried several times to talk to him, to ask him but it seems like Iwaizumi is purposely avoiding the topic. So Oikawa was left with nothing but to adjust in his boyfriend’s attitude even though it’s getting suffocating at times.

He still loves him despite that. Very much so.

A week had passed after that incident. Strangely, Iwaizumi went back to his usual self. He wasn’t being overbearing like he was last week and the past months. He’s back to being his grumpy, tsundere boyfriend and Oikawa couldn’t be happier. Not because he was out of his back but because Iwaizumi was finally being himself again. It’s been a while since Oikawa saw that smile on his face and it’s such a pleasant sight.

Whatever the reason is for Iwaizumi’s behavior these past months, Oikawa is more than willing to listen to it if his boyfriend is ready to tell him. He always tells him that communication is important in their relationship and he wants him to do that. If he needs some time then Oikawa will wait until he’s ready. But for now, he’s glad that he’s fine.

They even went out on a date last weekend. It was Iwaizumi who asked him and of course, he gladly accepted it. It’s been a while since they got out on a date because they were both busy with their work and barely had time to go out. The date was absolutely perfect. They went to this new spa house near their apartment complex and went to the amusement park. Oikawa had a really great time and really enjoyed their date.

And for the first time in months, Oikawa allowed himself to breathe. It doesn’t feel suffocating anymore. And he’s happy, truly happy. He just hopes that Iwaizumi will talk to him soon. 

But it seems like those happy moments are short lived.

“Congratulations, guys! Another deal has been secured thanks to your hard work!”

Everyone in the office applauded their leader’s kind words. They just finished a major presentation and fortunately, the client signed the deal with their company. Everyone is smiling wide, even Oikawa. They’ve been working on this presentation for a week and it’s such a nice feeling that it was successful. He couldn’t wait to celebrate it with Iwaizumi.

Speaking of…

He quickly grabs his phone from his back pocket to check if Iwaizumi left a message. He was supposed to pick him up from work and they would eat dinner together. Oikawa already made a reservation for their favorite restaurant. His smile grew wider just thinking about it. He’s feeling really giddy today if he would say so himself.

From: Iwa-chan <33

I will be a bit late. There’s a mild traffic. Just wait for me at the lobby, okay?

To: Iwa-chan <33

Okay!! Take care, love you!!

Oikawa put his phone back and started fixing his things. He couldn’t wait to spend the night with his boyfriend. He could feel his cheeks heating up just by the thought of it. 

"Hey."

"Fuck!"

Oikawa turned around and saw Ushijima laughing at him. He grabbed the nearest folder and slapped him with it. 

"You scared me, you fucking giant!" 

"Aw, sorry, sorry. Stop hitting me."

He's still glaring at him but he drops the folder and puts it back to his table. 

"What do you want?" He hissed.

"Boss is treating us to dinner, you gonna come?" The taller man asked and leaned on his cubicle.

Him and Ushijima had been friends for a year after working together in the same department. Oikawa didn't actually expect that he'd be friends with him. This guy is really introverted and the serious type. Not to mention, he's really blunt and straightforward (people don't like that about Ushijima) but Oikawa found it cool. At least, the guy doesn't know how to be fake. It's a good characteristic. 

"As much as I love to go, I can't tonight," Oikawa declined. He takes his messenger bag and shuts down his computer. 

"Eh? Why not?" 

They started walking together towards the elevator.

"Haj will pick me up and we'll eat outside," Oikawa said smugly. 

Ushijima simply raised his eyebrow and clicked the button. "You guys made up?"

"Not yet but he's back to his old self. I consider that as a win, I guess."

They both enter the elevator. Oikawa pressed the ground floor. A comfortable silence settled between them. He started humming the song he heard earlier and was slightly bobbing his head while Ushijima remained silent. 

They were near the ground floor when Ushijima called his name.

"Hmm?" he replied.

"Do you remember what I said months ago?"

That made Oikawa turn to look at him. The taller guy is not meeting his eyes and just fiddling with his bag. Oikawa sighed. 

"We talked about this, right?" 

Ushijima nods. 

"Then my answer will stay the same. I have a boyfriend, you know that very well." 

Ushijima nods again. Oikawa can't help but feel a bit sad. The guy confessed to him months ago and he immediately rejected him. He was flattered that Ushijima likes him but he can't accept his feelings. Oikawa loves Iwaizumi and he wouldn't dare to cheat on him. 

But still, it's hard to reject someone. Especially people like Ushijima who are honest and pure. 

Thankfully, they remained friends after his confession and he hadn't brought it up until now. 

The elevator pings and they both go out. Ushijima is still silent beside him and Oikawa doesn't know what to do so he stops walking. Ushijima stopped, too. 

"Ushi, I told you this already but I'm deeply flattered that you like me but I think you need to move on," he muttered softly. "You know I can't give you any chance, right?"

"Yeah, I know. I was just hoping," Ushijima replied.

"It's not really gonna happen," Oikawa smiles sadly at him and taps him on his shoulder. "There are plenty of guys there, though! Move on from me and find yourself a man."

That made Ushijima chuckle. "That will take some time but sure."

Oikawa beams at him and opens his arms. "Come here, you big baby." 

The taller guy reluctantly accepts his hug. Oikawa hugs him tighter. 

"I'm still your friend, okay?" 

"Yeah."

Then everything happened so fast.

One second he was hugging Ushijima. The next second, the latter was on the ground, wincing while holding his right cheek. And Iwaizumi is in front of him, shaking from anger.

When did he get here?  

Iwaizumi was about to go in for another punch but Oikawa got back to his senses and stopped him immediately.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he hissed and dragged him backwards. He glanced worriedly at Ushijima who’s still nursing his cheek. This jerk must have punched him pretty hard.

Iwaizumi turns to look at him and he instinctively takes a step back because of the raw anger reflecting in his eyes. He ignores him for now and crouches down to Ushijima. 

“Are you alright?” he asks gently.

“Yes, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me,” he answers, still wincing from the pain. 

“You’re not fine. Let me call—”

He doesn’t get to finish what he’s saying because someone is already pulling at his arm and dragging him up. Iwaizumi.

“We’re going home. Come on.”

Oikawa pulls his arm back. “I’m staying here. You go home.”

“If you don’t want me to cause a scene here, let’s go home.”

“You already caused a scene, dumbass! What were you even thinking?!” 

Oikawa glares at him. People are already staring at them and some of them are their co-workers but he couldn’t care less. He could feel his anger bubbling inside him while looking at Iwaizumi. This guy just barged in and punched his friend with no absolute reason. If he thinks he’s gonna accept it as it is, then he’s wrong. What he did is not acceptable for Oikawa, even if he’s his boyfriend. 

He was about to say something but Iwaizumi, being the good talker that he is, grabs his arm once again and forcefully drags Oikawa with him. The latter tries to break free from his hold but he’s holding him tight.

“Haj, let go—”

“Hey, you’re hurting him.”

Iwaizumi stops abruptly at that. It’s Oikawa who turned around first and saw Ushijima walking towards them. 

“Ushi—” but he got cut off.

“This is none of your business,” Iwaizumi butted in and turned around. And now Oikawa is stuck between them.

“It is.”

“Do you want another punch in your face? I could do it on the other side.”

“Will you stop being so violent?” Oikawa glares at him . He turn to Ushijima and smiles apologetically at him. “I’m sorry, Ushi, but we better go.”

He didn’t wait for his reply. Instead, he pulled Iwaizumi with him until they both got out of the building. Oikawa lets go of his arm and turns to the direction of his car. He didn’t need to say anything because Iwaizumi already understands that he’s not coming with him. 

Oikawa slammed his car door shut. Him and Iwaizumi had a lot to talk about once they made it at home.

They arrived at their apartment at the same time. Oikawa pulled over and got out. He saw Iwaizumi doing the same. He ignored him and went straight to the door to unlock it. He managed to calm himself down on the way home but he's still pissed at what Iwaizumi did at the office. 

What he did was uncalled for and so unreasonable. Oikawa reminded himself to apologize properly to Ushijima the next day. But for now, he needs to deal with his boyfriend.

"What the fuck was that?" he demands once he feels Iwaizumi's presence behind him.

Oikawa got no answers, though. Instead, Iwaizumi walks past him and completely ignores him. The former gapes at him, disbelief written all over his face. Looks like talking will be hard this time. 

He follows him through the kitchen. He watches silently from the doorway as Iwaizumi grabs a can of beer from the fridge, hastily opening it, and taking a sip. All his movements are stiff, his jaw is clenched, a deep frown is settled on his face. Oikawa could even see how he's breathing hard from how his chest is moving up and down. 

It's like he's barely restraining himself to calm down.

If it's any other day, Oikawa would have done everything to wipe that frown off of his face. But today's different.

If Iwaizumi is annoyed, so is he. 

They're both holding themselves. But they wouldn't solve anything if they're dancing around each other like this. So Oikawa breaks the silence by asking him the same question. 

"Why did you punch him?" he asks, calmly this time.

Iwaizumi shrugs. It's like he's not interested in the topic. Oikawa sighs. He's slowly getting frustrated. 

"He's not doing anything and yet you barged in like that and basically punched the daylights out of him. You didn't even say sorry! You just—" 

"If we're gonna talk about that damned guy all night long then I'll pass." 

Oikawa stops. He stares at Iwaizumi in confusion. 

"We're talking about your rude behavior here. What you did was uncalled for," he sneered. 

Iwaizumi has the guts to scoff before throwing away the can of beer. For the second time that night, he walks past him.

"Let's save the scolding for tomorrow, I'm tired,” he replied with a dismissive tone. That made Oikawa snap.

"Iwaizumi, I'm still talking to you!" he shouts. "You've been like this lately! Avoiding the questions, dodging every time I ask, and now I’m talking nicely, you're gonna turn your back on me? What the heck is your problem?!" 

Iwaizumi stops. Oikawa is breathing heavily after that outburst. He can't remember when was the last time he shouted like that but he's been holding that for months. Iwaizumi always avoids his questions but he could only wait for him this far. Not after pulling that stunt he did earlier. His patience is already at his limit. 

His boyfriend turns around and looks him straight in the eyes. It was void of any emotion and Oikawa wanted to look away. It's unusual to see his eyes like this. It's lime staring in an empty box and it slightly scares him. 

“You want to talk? Okay, let’s do that. The reason why I punched him? It’s because I got jealous,” he spits. 

“We’re just friends! What’s there to be jealous about?”

“What would you do if you saw your boyfriend hugging someone else?”

"That meant nothing. It was just a normal hug!" Oikawa rebuked.

Both of them are breathing heavily and glaring at each other. Oikawa knows it's not a good time to talk right now, with both of them angry and with their emotions clouding their minds. But this is the only opportunity he had to finally talk to Iwaizumi. 

Oikawa heaves a deep breath. The silence that settles between them is suffocating. It feels like his source of oxygen was cut off, the heavy atmosphere is making him gasp a little for air. This is the first time he felt this annoyed towards iwaizumi and it's a foreign feeling. He's already scared that he might say something he would regret later.

But if not now, when?

He closed his eyes and let out another sigh. He could feel the tension leaving his body. This is not their first fight but this kind of fight, an ugly one , drained his energy. and they're not even close to resolving it. 

"What's the problem, Haj? You're not like this," Oikawa mumbled. He got tired of shouting. 

"Like what? The jealous type?" Iwaizumi replied, voice laced with accusation and mocking. 

Oikawa stared at him straight in the eyes before answering. 

"Being overbearing." 

His answer must have surprised him. but it's the truth. Maybe he's doing it unconsciously but it doesn't matter. Iwaizumi became overbearing these past months and while Oikawa appreciates the gesture— of Iwaizumi being concerned, his boyfriend just crossed the line. And he could see that it's not care anymore. It's something else that Iwaizumi won't tell him about. 

"Since when did I do that?" he tried to deny.

Oikawa chuckled dryly. "Don't try to deny it, Haj. You know very well what you did."

He smiled weakly at him. "I just don't understand what urged you to suddenly act like that. You were not like that before. You never cared who i was with, you never cared what time I go home as long as I text you that I’m doing fine. You never cared about those trivial things because you believed that even though we're in a relationship, we are our own person and we're not entirely entitled to each other."

"What changed?" 

And instead of answering, Iwaizumi did what he has been doing this entire evening, avoided his eyes and gave another shrug. But Oikawa could see there's a hint of emotion reflected in his eyes now. 

What he thought earlier is right. Talking would be hard right now. 

"Don't you trust me anymore?" he asked with a little voice.

To be honest, this is the only conclusion he thought. The only reason he could think of was why Iwaizumi was acting strange. because he doesn't trust him anymore. Maybe Oikawa did something. Maybe he didn't. but ever since that thought crossed his mind, he can't get it out of his head.

And everytime Oikawa thought about it, he felt a little hurt. Iwaizumi losing his trust to him is a very scary thought. 

Oikawa could feel the back of his eyes stinging with unshed tears. He's been holding this inside him for months— these pent-up emotions. This pent-up feelings and now that he's letting it all out for his boyfriend to see, he couldn't help but cry. 

He wiped his tears and smiled again. "I've been trying to talk to you. Ask you what's wrong or is there anything I could help but you never answered..." just like what you're doing right now.

"So I can't stop thinking that maybe I'm really the problem and—"

"No!" Iwaizumi interrupted. “You're not the problem..."

"Then what is it?" 

Iwaizumi looks conflicted. It's obvious he's debating whether to tell Oikawa the reason or not. And Oikawa waited for him. He's willing to wait until Iwaizumi is ready. They could only resolve this through proper communication and he'll wait until he's ready to talk to him properly. 

It took him minutes before finally meeting Oikawa's eyes. The latter gave him another sad smile. But Iwaizumi still looks conflicted. he sighed.

"It's not you," Iwaizumi started. "You're not the problem, Tooru. It's just that..." he closes his eyes.

And when he opened them, Oikawa could see different emotions reflected in his eyes. But the one that stands out the most is—

Guilt. 

"It's just that I love you so much that I did those things. I— I don't know what to say anymore, Tooru. That's the only reason I could think of..." 

A tear drops. Followed by another. Until it continuously fell from his eyes. Oikawa looked down. He couldn't bear to stare at iwaizumi right now. He tried to wipe his tears away but they kept on falling. 

"I think that's just an excuse," he sniffled. "Because that's not how you love a person. That's not how you love me ." 

He took a deep breath and looked up. The guilt in Iwaizumi's eyes is now mixed with pain. Pain from what? Oikawa doesn't know. All he could think right now is how his chest is constricting lightly because of his own pain. 

"If this is how you love people now, then I'm sorry, Iwaizumi but please, get that love away from me. I don't want it." 

Oikawa took another deep breath and smiled bitterly at him. "Let's talk some other time. I think we need to take a break for now."