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Perhaps she is a bit reckless in the Leviathan facility. She’s had plenty of espionage-related action in the last few weeks, thanks to Howard’s deception. But it’s not the same as this. It’s not the same as being behind enemy lines while surrounded by fellow soldiers, by men who see her for the capable human being that she is. For all that seeing Dugan and the 107th again brings up painful memories of Steve and Bucky, it also feels good.
Hearing Dum Dum’s delighted “Hi, Peggy!” makes her heart swell and her mouth curl into a smile instinctively. It’s the same tone she’s heard on more than one occasion when catching the Howling Commandos involved in yet another shenanigan. Having Happy Sam double check with her before executing Thompson’s orders makes her feel perhaps a little more smug than she ought, and warms her even in the midst of Russian snow.
So when she stubbornly refuses to leave the building before Dugan, when she stays a few seconds longer than is necessary, steps out from behind cover, and lets loose with more rounds instead of turning and running, who can blame her? She knows she is headed back to New York, back to being called “Marge” or “Carter” in tones that indicate she is merely a nuisance instead of “Peggy” in tones of fondness and respect.
Those few seconds are enough though. There are still Leviathan bullets flying at her and a truck full of men waiting for her so they can all drive to safety. She turns, slinging her gun onto her back, sprinting, reveling in the feeling of trusting her team to cover her retreat. When she dives into the back of the truck and lands hard on her back, she coughs and looks back up at all the pairs of eyes trained on her.
When she says “I hate you all,” what she really means is “I’ve missed this. Thank you.”
For now, this will have to do.