Chapter Text
Hesitation always leads to regret.
Diluc after much much much hesitation had finally set foot in Mondstadt after three years of traveling across Teyvat. He finds himself standing in front of familiar grape vines riddled with wild crystalflies. The setting sun strikes their wings in such a way that rainbows reflect off of the surface. He stood for a moment watching them dance among the grapevines. For a moment he recalled chasing after them at night. They would jump and leap just to catch one in a jar to place on their nightstand... though it's only him now. The redhead finds himself standing alone in the dark. He glances one last time at the flying elemental creatures-- even ponders if he should take one home, for old times sake, yet he's called to come inside the winery before he could decide. The doors to the Winery open and maids rushed to pick up his luggage. "What are you doing just standing there Master Diluc? You should have told us you were home. Come, come inside. You must be tired!" He snapped out of his childish daydreams and stepped inside the ever-so-familiar building.
"Welcome home, Master Diluc. Your luggage shall be transported to your bedroom and dinner has been served in the dining room. Let us know if there's anything else you need." Lines of maids and servants greet him with a bow and a chorus of welcome homes. The head maid, Adelinde, was ever so punctual. He'd sent her a letter saying he would arrive tomorrow... three months ago that is. Yet somehow she still managed to prepare everything for him. Had she prepared all this every day for three months? It wouldn't be uncharacteristic of her. But that won't stop Diluc from feeling guilty if she had. Adelinde hadn't aged a day since he left her. Diluc scans her up and down and finds not a hair on her body out of place. She's as neat as the Winery. She was surely a woman suited for her job. For that Diluc was thankful for having her serve his family for so many years up to now. "Thank you everyone for such a warm welcome. You all can get off for the night as thanks." He announces. Time alone to himself after a long journey around the continent would be much appreciated. The servants disperse and Diluc steps further inside.
Dawn Winery is full of old memories yet it still looks just like the way he left it. He stands still for a moment and takes in the view he missed so dearly. The ever-present scent of grapes and wine stings his nose yet he breathes it in as one would a fragrant flower. He hated wine, but the nostalgic fragrance of the winery was always his favorite. His fondest memories here were always laced with the scent of wine. When he sat reading with his father at the fireplace. When he sat eating his favorite food at the dinner table. When he ran up and down those stairs...
What the hell is that ugly-looking thing near the stairs?
"Where did that vase come from?" Diluc asks Adelinde who stood nearby ready to attend to her master's needs. He cringes at the sight of the vase. It did not fit well with the interior at all. It stuck out like a peacock in a hen house- it even looks like a peacock! What an obnoxious-looking vase. It didn't look like the type of thing Adelinde or Elzer would purchase as decor. So there could only be one explanation-
"It was... It was a gift, Master Diluc. From an old friend." Adelinde answers. Just as Diluc thought, it could only have been that. From whom could it be? Adelinde walks over to the vase and looks at it strangely. She seemed to be lost in her thoughts. Perhaps it was a gift from her lover? No that couldn't have been it. Adelinde was a sensible woman who had no time for romance. Must be from one of those aristocrats seeking partnership with the winery then; someone from Diluc's childhood maybe. Diluc had too many "old friends" to remember, most of them are important people or their children. That didn't change the fact that Diluc found the vase hideous. He decides to leave it be out of politeness.
"Be sure to send a gift back if you haven't already, Adelinde. It would be impolite not to." Adelinde snaps out of her daze and nods in understanding. She quickly goes back to her usual self. "Also, thank you for taking such good care of the Winery while I was gone. How have things been as of late? Let us converse over dinner." A look flashes on Adelinde's face. Diluc notices but pays it no mind. "Yes, right this way Master Diluc. Your steak is cooked just how you like it. And tomorrow what do you say about a plate of Pile 'em up? For old time's sake?" Diluc smiles and sits at the dining table. The two catch up over a warm plate of steak and grape juice. For the first time in a while, he felt at home.
They talked about various things throughout the night. Diluc would tell stories of his escapades and Adelinde would simply gush over how much he'd changed over the years. It was true. Diluc had changed so much. He had grown even more refined and handsome. He was a lot less sunny yet still shined brightly, truly fitting of his vision. They talked and talked about so many things. About how Adelinde and Elzer were doing well. About how the business was still flourishing. At some point, they even started talking about wine. It seemed that all was normal.
No, it wasn't. Diluc truly had changed. His eyes that once twinkled with childhood innocence and naivety had been sharpened to eyes that were dull yet sharp as that of a hawk. Nothing gets past him. Not anymore. He didn't miss how Adelinde acted that evening-- how she talked and talked about anything and everything...except one thing. He saw and he heard but he would not acknowledge it. So he carried on and ignored about how not a word was said about the knights, about the past, about that person, about blue hair, about starry eyes, about...him.
All words that would somehow lead to Kaeya Alberich were left unsaid. Diluc thinks it was better that way. Once, that evening during dinner, Adelinde asked Diluc what delayed his return to Mondstadt. And true to his word he kept that name out of his mouth just as he cast him out of his life. "I simply had business to take care of, Adelinde. Nothing to worry about. Though I apologize that I didn't let you know in advance. Don't tell me you made dinner every day for three months awaiting my return?" They smile and laugh because it was true apparently. They talked about more things. They laughed about more things. And they told each other more stories. They spoke about people. And more people. And other people. But never about Kaeya.
Perhaps it was out of consideration. It's no secret that something had happened between the once sworn brothers. That "something" though, is known only to the two and the archons that watched their battle from the pouring clouds above. From that day forth they went their separate ways never to be reunited since.
Diluc had noticed that Adelinde had been avoiding talking about the bluenette. It didn't matter anyway, he was bound to cross paths with him at some point. Not that he wanted to, it's just that it was unavoidable. Mondstadt was small after all. Should Kaeya have remained in the city all these years then the day they meet is not too far away. What will he do when that day comes? Diluc finishes his meal and decides to call it a night. He didn't want to think about anything that makes his headache on his first day back. He'll have time to face the music tomorrow.
"I'll be off to bed now, Adelinde. I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow. Have you made the proper arrangements at Angel's Share?" Diluc asks standing up as he fixes his plate. He pushes the chair back as his father taught him. Even though his father is gone his teachings will remain forever in Diluc's mind. Adelinde smiles fondly watching Diluc look at the large yet empty dining table with a small yet sad smile. He hadn't changed that much after all. Little Diluc Ragnvindr is still Diluc Ragnvindr; the same little boy Crepus raised to be a fine young man. She begins to clean up.
"Yes, Master Diluc. I had contacted the tavern as soon as your letter arrived. The preparations to have you bartend should be ready and the regulars have been notified." She bows courteously. "Then, have a good night Master Diluc." Diluc bids her goodnight as well and heads upstairs to his room-- no, he makes his way to Crepus' room. As he requested in the letter, he had wanted to use his father's room from then on. His old room brought up too many memories tinted blue and calla lily scented.
He sleeps surrounded by scents of cedarwood and pine and embers. This Manor had been well-kept thanks to Adelinde and her maids, perhaps too well kept. Everything was picture perfect. The places he dreamt of in his 3 year long trip came back to life. He often dreamt of Dawn Winery and crystal flies and his...father.
Memories that were better off forgotten came flooding back, drowning him in an abyss and suddenly the warmth of his late father's bed felt like the clutches of the fires of hell. He was having nightmares not even realizing he had fallen asleep. He was back there. The sickening smell of blood mixed with petrichor choked him. He couldn't breathe. A deep breath in and another faint scent calms him down. His dream shifts to memories next to Cider Lake picking calla lilies to gift to his blue-haired friend. He slept soundly clutching an old pillow that smelled of cedarwood, pine, embers, and calla lilies, and lamp grass.
Old and fond memories of Kaeya and Diluc still remain in the winery and so will that of Crepus. The three of them would sleep together in Crepus's huge bed whenever they felt scared or were unable to sleep. Even now that Diluc has grown the bed still feels empty to him without the warmth of two others.
Perhaps it was time to reconcile with one of them?
In truth, bartending at Angel's Share was an excuse to see his br- Kaeya again. Diluc knew he had always been fond of alcohol over grape juice. Now that he's of legal age to drink alcohol he would definitely be a regular at Mondstadt's tavern. Angel's Share served the best alcohol around and surely Kaeya knew that and Diluc was counting on that. At the same time, a part of him wished to never see Kaeya again. A part of him hoped Kaeya set of for a different nation and was tasting the various liquor and alcohol there so that they may never meet in the city of freedom again.
Three years was not barely long enough for Diluc to think. Words just wouldn't make sense of the emotions he felt and still feel about that day, about that person. He had been afraid that if he were to come face to face with those starry eyes again he'd find himself drowning in them and freezing up simultaneously. He was afraid he'd say the wrong words, or worse not say anything at all. What did he even want to say?
I'm sorry?
Say sorry?
Forgive me?
I forgive you?
Unknown words clog his throat and he finds himself choking once again. His dream goes a little differently than his original memory. Diluc felt like he was choking yet little Kaeya was the one without air. Right there, drowning in Cider Lake. He tried to scream but his head was underwater. Morning came and Diluc woke up with a start. He felt his face heat up. How embarrassing. To dream about childish dreams such as that about the man he cast aside. He even had the nerve to wish for even a moment that he could stay by his side, even in a dream. "I don't want to see him anymore..." Diluc mumbles, disgruntled and tired. It would be embarrassing to face Kaeya after a dream like that. He doesn't want to feel sorry or that he made the wrong decision.
Apparently, he didn't have to worry about that anymore. A month has passed since he'd started bartending at Angel's Share and there was no sign of him. It's been a month since he arrived in Mondstadt and there has been absolutely no contact with Kaeya Alberich.
He spent a week being thankful that Kaeya never showed up but after another week he was getting worried. Another week later and he was anxious. A month has passed and he was scared. Not hearing from Kaeya in those three years away from home was normal. Not hearing from Kaeya in a month in Mondstadt was probably not. Something was wrong, he was sure of it.
How come he'd never heard anything about Kaeya since he'd gotten here. Not from Adelinde. Not from the citizens. Not even from the drunken knights at the tavern. It was as if his existence had been erased. Had he moved away? Had he returned to Khaenri'ah? Or even worse- what if he's de--
Diluc's heart reacts with an unknown beat. Had he been anxious? Scared? Worried even? Was he ready to forgive Kaeya? The answers to those questions would come right after the answer to the whereabouts of the man himself. So he decided to ask some questions himself.
"So... How is Kaeya faring these days?"