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You know what pushed Lily past the point of being able to deny to herself that she fancied him?
His fucking calves.
She’d obviously known he was good looking; she did have eyes. His tousled inky hair, she’d been aware for years was perfection - even if she didn’t admit that aloud. His eyes, golden and almost constantly crinkled with laughter, she knew were mesmorising to the majority of the Hogwarts female population (and some of the males, actually).
And it was during Spring Term in sixth year that she came to the realisation there were other parts of him she was able to appreciate too. His arms, tanned with muscles flexing softly as he worked in lessons, were visible due to his constantly rolled up shirt sleeves. His shoulders were strong, moulded muscle from his years of playing Chaser for Gryffindor, and evident as his shirt stretched across his back when he hunched over his desk while sat in front of her in History of Magic. His jaw was a chiselled work of art, truth be told, and was equally attractive whether he was grinning his mischievous grin, and grit in concentration. His bum, she realised with a jolt one weekend as he crossed unexpectedly in front of her whilst he heading out to a Quidditch match, broom balancing casually on his shoulder, looked unfairly good in those uniform trousers.
But she’d never before been in close enough proximity to him whilst he was wearing shorts to notice his calves. Who even knew that was a part of the body she could find sexy? Well, she did. Jesus Christ.
It was Easter break, one of the first properly sunny days of the year, and the Gryffindor sixth years had come down to the Quidditch pitch for some impromptu games.
She was lounging on the grass of the pitch, chatting with Dorcas and watching Mary shoot Quidditch hoops while on her broom high in the air.
She genuinely didn’t take much notice that he was even in front of her until he started running high knees on the spot, preparing for a flying sprint against Sirius.
As his calves flexed and taughtened with each movement, she found herself struggling to concentrate on whatever Dorcas was saying. She found herself struggling not to outright stare, in all honestly.
But then another body skipped over to him, and he looped his arm around Sophia Sutherland’s neck. He grinned as he pulled her in by the crook of his elbow to murmur something in her ear.
Lily sighed inwardly. She’d also picked the worst possible time to realise she fancied him.
He’d been dating Sophia for a couple of weeks, and the pair seemed quite smitten.
And the annoying part was – Sophia was absolutely lovely. She was a pretty Hufflepuff in their year, not quite a straight ‘Exceeds’ student but bright enough in most subjects, and had always been friendly and sweet the entire time Lily had known her. She had glossy dark hair that fell in waves to her shoulder blades, dark brown eyes (that were currently staring adoringly back at James) and a petite figure that fit perfectly under his arm. Lily couldn’t recall ever hearing her have a cross word with anyone, or cast a single hex.
Yep. She couldn’t even resent her. Sophia was, sadly, a fucking delight.
*
The next afternoon Lily and Sirius sat sprawled across a couch in the relatively empty Gryffindor Common Room, Sirius tossing Bertie Bott’s beans into the air to catch in his mouth and Lily flicking idly through a potions magazine. The pair had become quite friendly after being paired together in Defence Against The Dark Arts for most of the year – there was only so many times you can could and revive someone without forming somewhat of a bond. Their friends were all busy doing various things around the castle, leaving the two of them at a bit of loose end.
“I saw you eyeing up Prongs yesterday,” he suddenly said nonchalantly, missing catching a jelly bean that bounced off his chin.
Lily spluttered, shooting up from her relaxed position and dropping her magazine. “I definitely was not!”
Sirius laughed easily, tossing his hair out of his eyes. “You most certainly were. Don’t worry, we’re buddies now Evans. Your secret’s safe with me, you big perv.”
Lily closed her eyes momentarily, cursing herself for being so blatant.
When she opened them, the relaxed amusement across his face actually made her believe him.
She cleared her throat and settled back again onto the couch, curling her legs up under her.
“Well… how about you?” she countered. “I mean, I’ve heard rumours of lots of… flings,” she said carefully, though Sirius still shot her a look, one side of his mouth quirking - “-but I don’t think I’ve ever heard of an actual relationship? I can’t see you being short of offers.”
He stretched his arms out in front of him and grinned. “Wow Evans, we’ve just established you’re lusting after my best mate. Not the time to be flirting with me, please.”
She threw a couple of his jelly beans back in his face with a scoff.
“Nah, I wouldn’t subject anyone to having to put up with me for too long,” he finally answered, after spitting out a sweet into his hand with a grimace.
He had a point, she had to admit.
“Plus, I’ve got enough on my plate what with trying to single-handedly bring down the Black family empire, bring as much mischief to Hogwarts during my time here as humanly possible, and trying to break the spirits of as many Slytherins as I can. So…. nope. Born to run free me, Evans. Got 99 problems, but a witch ain’t one.”
Lily scrunched her nose in disdain and rolled her eyes, but couldn’t prevent a small chuckle.
“Now stop changing the subject. You like Prongs.”
Lily groaned. “I do not-“
“Puh-lease, you couldn’t take your eyes off him.”
Lily hated that she could feel a blush rising across her face. “Just because I… appreciate him, doesn’t mean I like him.”
Sirius grinned victoriously. “Oh the galleons James would give to hear that!”
Lily rolled her eyes. “Yeah well, he’s got Sophia now.”
Sirius gave a non-committal jerk of his head and shoulder in response to that.
“What? You don’t like her?”
He shrugged. “She’s fine.”
“Fine?”
He shrugged again. “It won’t last,” he said simply.
Lily frowned. “What makes you say that?”
He tilted his head back over the arm of the couch, to better angle for his jelly bean catching. “She’s too into him. It’s not a fair match.”
“Well, he seems very into her. And she’s lovely.”
“And you’re very interested for someone who’s not interested,” Sirius tilted back up to look at her and grinned.
Infuriatingly, Lily felt herself flush again.
“Mark my words,” he said with confidence. “Watch. You’ll see.”
*
So, she did.
Well, she didn’t spend all her time just watching them, thank you very much. She wasn’t that far gone.
But in between her classes, homework, time with her friends and her prefect duties she noticed how just over a fortnight later, James seemed rather pissed off with Sophia’s pouting when he’d told her he was having a few nights with the Marauders, but not explain what they were doing (she also noticed it coincided with Remus being sat very quietly at the dinner table, looking rather peaky as he did every few weeks – Lily made a mental note to grab a bar of chocolate to slip to him in their next class).
She noticed after that how their touchy-feelyness between classes became much more one sided from Sophia.
She noticed that he didn’t seem to light up as much around her, but rather would tone down and be a bit more subdued.
She noticed in the few weeks after that, Sophia laughing a little too loudly at something Benjy Fenwick was saying during Potions – and noticed that James didn’t even glance at them.
She noticed that by the time the next Hogsmeade weekend rolled around just before the end of summer term, she hadn’t even seen them talk for a good few weeks.
She also noticed a few things about herself.
She noticed she was far less interested in Roman Rix flirting with her during Charms than she had been in the last few months.
She noticed she found the stupid pranks James and Sirius pulled to be rather more amusing than she ever had before – she even let them off without detention when she came across them out after hours on her prefect rounds.
She noticed she turned down two dates for said Hogsmeade weekend, when she had no real reason not to and no other plans anyway.
She noticed all the physical attributes she’d come to appreciate of James Potter on an almost daily basis.
And she noticed with the most frustration that she was spending far too much time noticing all of this stuff for someone who, Sirius had quite rightly pointed out, wasn’t interested.
*
The last Hogsmeade weekend fell on a hot, clear blue Saturday at the start of July. The temperature had been building for the entire week, and was now almost uncomfortable. Even in a light white cotton sun dress with her hair pulled off her neck and into a messy knot on top of her head, Lily felt positively sticky she was that hot.
She was spending the day with Mary - Dorcas was in the Three Broomsticks on a date - but the heat was preventing them from wanting to do anything much.
They strolled the street, glancing uninterestedly in shops windows.
“Ooh, there’s a table – quick I’ll grab it, Lily you go get ice cream!” Mary cried, already hurrying towards the one free picnic table she’d spotted in the village.
Lily was grateful to see that the table had an umbrella so offered some shade, thank Merlin.
She joined the queue of people at the ice cream stall, casting her eyes up and down the street as she waited.
Just as she reached the front, she spotted four familiar boys and heard a shout. “Evans! Get me one, please!”
“Ohh, and me.”
“Do you mind getting me one too, Lily?”
“And me!”
Lily flashed a look of exasperation at the Marauders, seeing them grin and begin to amble to where they had now spotted Mary at the table.
She turned back to the ice cream server, flustered. “Er, six cones please.”
He nodded briskly, immediately assembling them for her. When they were ready, she then reached out and awkwardly held six ice cream cones between her hands.
As she turned around carefully, she realised James was jogging towards her.
Dressed in a simple black t-shirt, black shorts, white trainers, long tanned limbs loping gracefully in her direction, his easy smile crooked as he looked at her, his hands held in gentle fists as his arms pumped almost lazily as he jogged-
“You look like you’re struggling, thought you could use a hand,” he chuckled, as he reached her.
His hands reached out to take a few of the cones from her, but as he did so he stooped and licked the ice cream that had already trickled down the pad of her thumb and started to pool down onto her wrist. His tongue followed its path quickly, and then gently sucked where it collected at her pulse point on the sensitive skin at the inside of her wrist.
Lily’s heart stopped.
“You ok, Evans?” James smiled at her after he’d straightened up, and noticed she was completely frozen on the spot.
“Er-“
“Sorry,” he chuckled, nudging her along to walk with him as he carried four of the cones and left her with two. “Did I cross a boundary there? I didn’t even think, could just see it running down your arm.”
She gave a wobbly smile as her heart calmed down – it had started racing to make up for the fact it had skipped when his mouth and tongue had been on her.
“No, it’s fine. Erm – thanks,” she stammered, strolling across the grass with him. “Though I can’t say I’ve ever had anyone do that before.”
“Oh?” he grinned at her. “Hmm, I think I quite like that. I don’t want anybody else touching you like I do.”
He winked at her as they reached the picnic bench, swinging a leg to straddle the seat on their side as he passed around ice creams to their friends.
Lily eased onto the bench next to him, her mind somehow whirling but blank at the same time as she processed his words.
“So,” he said casually, golden eyes flicking towards her but his face impassive innocence. “Sirius had to prepare me to be completely ogled by you since I’m wearing shorts today.”
She choked on the ice cream she had in her mouth, and had to grip the table.
“What in the fucking hell, Black-“she stared at him in open mouthed disbelief, whilst Mary whipped her head towards Lily from where she sat next to Remus and squealed with excitement.
Sirius let out a bark of laughter. “Sorry Evans, I never said how long your secret was safe.” At her horrified look, he continued defensively. “You’re both single! This was need to know information!”
Lily groaned and looked to Mary for support, willing her to run away with her. Anywhere.
But one glance at her delighted face told her Mary wanted to see how this would pan out more than anyone.
“Don’t worry Evans, I’ve already done my fair bit of eyeing you up today too,” James laughed with a cheeky grin at her, eyes ablaze with mischief. He licked a bit of ice cream off his top lip as she locked eyes with him. “I’m a big fan of that dress, by the way.”