Chapter Text
It wasn’t that Wei Wuxian didn’t enjoy being at his sister’s wedding. But maybe the fancy champagne wasn’t cutting his craving for Emperor’s Smile, and the Jins’ gaudy gold drapery didn’t help his headache.
Jiang Yanli was stunning, of course. She had changed into a simple lilac dress for the reception, which she insisted Wei Wuxian stay for. It’ll be sweet, she said, and I’d love to have you there.
What was he supposed to do, say no?
But in all truth, he would have yeeted out of there after the vows were said (during which he definitely did not cry) if not for Jiang Yanli’s insistence. The mediocre food and slow music grinded at his already frayed nerves. He had a commission due in two days and the extent of its completion was merely the selection of a color palette, of which he was still not decided on completely. The Jiangs were seated three tables away from him, but he could still sometimes feel the phantom burn of Madame Yu’s glare, disapproving and disappointed. He didn’t glance over much for fear of meeting their eyes, but Uncle Jiang turned towards his direction a few times. Jiang Cheng texted him an angry emoji, and Wei Wuxian left him on read.
The table Wei Wuxian was sitting at wasn’t for family. Judging by the people there, it could best be described as the miscellaneous-yet-not-totally-unrelated table. After all, neither his sister nor Jin Zixuan had any deep affiliation with Nie Mingjue, and Nie Huaisang was clearly just tagging along. Jin Guangyao came over a couple of times to ask after them, to which Nie Mingjue always responded to in agitation. Lan Xichen’s hand was constantly on Nie Mingjue’s arm, smiling and trying his best to play middleman.
And then there was Lan Wangji. Who Wei Wuxian was not going to look at.
When Wei Wuxian saw Lan Wangji as he walked into the wedding, he was afraid this was the first time he would be mad at his perfect sister for anything. But when he went to her dressing room, she turned and smiled at him, beautiful in her red robes and the intricate hairpiece dripping past her eyes. I’m so glad you came, Xianxian, she said, reaching out to hold his hands in her smaller ones. His almost anger melted away at her slightest touch. He was tired.
Why did you invite Lan Zhan? he whispered.
Jiang Yanli’s gaze softened and she clasped Wei Wuxian’s hands tightly. A-Xian, it’ll be alright.
He wished he could believe her.
Awkward, was one way to describe how Wei Wuxian felt at the table sitting next to his ex-husband. There was a plethora of other ickier emotions, but Wei Wuxian wouldn’t touch those with a ten-foot pole. Nie Huaisang was whining about the sear on his salmon, Nie Mingjue looked like he was about to smack his brother across the head, and Lan Xichen just smiled, trying to placate them. Wei Wuxian sipped at his champagne, appetite nonexistent since he walked in the door, and wished he had something stronger.
“Wei Ying.”
Wei Wuxian stilled. He wondered if there would be a day he didn’t long for Lan Zhan to call his name. Unfortunately, today was not the day.
“Lan Zhan! Fancy seeing you here,” Wei Wuxian said, giving him a smile. Conceal don’t feel, or whatever the kids say these days.
“Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji had turned to face Wei Wuxian, hands settled on his lap. Wei Wuxian avoided his gaze. “How are you?”
“I’m fine. You know, the usual. Commissions here and there. I actually have one that I didn’t finish yet but—” Wei Wuxian bit his tongue. Lan Wangji wasn’t his husband anymore. He’s not here to listen to his rambles. “But yeah, you know. The usual.”
Lan Wangji nodded, and Wei Wuxian hated how he always looked like he cared, hands in his lap like a good little boy, eyes intent, brow slightly set in concentration. He had to remind himself that Lan Wangji was not his husband anymore. Maybe three years of not seeing him should make Wei Wuxian understand this fact of reality, but he was known to be forgetful.
“You seem tired,” Lan Wangji said, and Wei Wuxian squirmed under his scrutiny.
They fell into silence after that, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. The guests around them ate and talked noisily, and Wei Wuxian kept sipping his alcohol.
Lan Wangji always knew when he was overworked, running on 30 minutes of sleep and ten cups of coffee. After a long day, he would always frown his little frown and pull Wei Wuxian into the bedroom, shut the lights, and tuck the covers up under his chin. Then he hummed their song until Wei Wuxian closed his eyes, falling into dreams.
The champagne sat bitter on his tongue. Other than his sister, only Lan Wangji could see past him.
Only Lan Wangji read him like a poem. Line by line, word by word.
~~~
“Ughhh, Lan Zhannnnn.”
Lan Wangji didn’t look up from his book, leaning against the trunk of the tree.
“Lan Zhannnnn, why are you ignoring me?” Wei Wuxian, strewn across the grass in a melting heap, tugged at the edge of Lan Wangji’s shirt. “It’s too hot to be outside, can we go back to the library?”
“You keep talking too loud. They’ll kick us out,” Lan Wangji said, flipping a page.
“I promise I won’t talk, please my good Er-gege?” Wei Wuxian blinked up at him, three fingers raised to his temple. Lan Wangji glanced at him and sighed, closing the book and standing.
“You’re the best, Er-gege!” Wei Wuxian said, latching onto his arm and dragging him towards the air-conditioned oasis.
High school was finally over, and the summer was ahead of them. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were both going to Gusu University in the fall, along with a lot of their other friends. All in all, there weren’t many changes happening. Perhaps it was even a bit too mundane.
“Lan Zhan, do you think I’m handsome?” Wei Wuxian whispered. Now he was sprawled over the library table, reaching across to play with the tassel of Lan Wangji’s bookmark.
Lan Wangji clenched his book tighter. “Why do you ask?”
“I think I’m pretty handsome, if I do say so myself. At least I’m definitely better than that Wen Chao or Su She.”
Lan Wangji hummed, noncommittal, but his lips twitched up in amusement.
Wei Wuxian pouted. “I’m definitely better than those assholes – in more than just looks, too – but there’s still no one who wants to date me!” He twined his legs with Lan Wangji’s under the table. “Am I to be forever alone? Oh, woe is me!”
“Wei Ying, quiet.”
Wei Wuxian gasped. “Not even Lan Zhan cares about my troubles! Am I truly unlovable?” He slumped onto the table, a dramatic, boneless pile.
“That’s not true.”
“…Hm?” Wei Wuxian picked up his head and looked at Lan Wangji, who was staring at Wei Wuxian intently, the way he always looked when he was serious.
“Wei Ying is loveable,” he said, then went back to his book.
“Um.” Wei Wuxian felt warm, his face a small sun. He couldn’t help but smile. “Well, if Lan-er-gege says so.”
“Mn.”
They sat in silence as Lan Wangji read his book and Wei Wuxian started to doze off, the lull of Lan Wangji’s page flips reverberating in the back of his mind.
“Why do you want to?”
“…Mm?” Wei Wuxian blinked sleepily, searching for Lan Wangji’s voice. “Why do I want to what?”
“To…” Lan Wangji paused, his brow scrunched and lips parted. Cute.
“To…date.”
Wei Wuxian considered it, and he realized he never really thought about the question seriously. He had supposed it was just something everyone did, for fun or otherwise, but that didn’t feel quite right for himself. Sure, he flirted, but never past a friendly stage. He’d even been saving his first kiss for someone special, not counting that time someone kissed him after school in the empty classroom.
Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang had dared him to stay blindfolded overnight in the classroom that was said to be haunted, and someone had sneaked up and stolen his first kiss! The utter audacity! The offender left Wei Wuxian breathless and disheveled, and in the end he picked up his bag and went home. Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang laughed and said he was just too chicken to stay. “Maybe the ghost kissed you,” Jiang Cheng wheezed, slapping him on the back. Wei Wuxian rolled his eyes and called Lan Wangji. “Lan Zhan, you believe me, don’t you?” Lan Wangji just mn-ed stiffly and avoided Wei Wuxian’s eyes for a week.
He really wished he knew who kissed him. That person’s lips were so soft and supple, and they were really a great kisser…not that Wei Wuxian would know, but one could imagine. Plus, it felt good, so that had to mean something…right?
Anyway, the point was that Wei Wuxian was a romantic. So when Lan Wangji asked him why he wanted to date, he felt it pick at a part of himself deep down. Perhaps somewhere he didn’t often like to think about.
“Don’t you want to feel loved?” Wei Wuxian settled for.
Lan Wangji set his book down gently and tilted his head to the side. “I don’t think I would force myself to love.”
Well.
In all the years they’ve been friends, Wei Wuxian knew Lan Wangji was someone who loved and hated with clear conviction and no reluctance. Of course he wouldn’t force himself into superficial relationships just for the sake of…feeling loved. He had his brother and uncle, and Wei Wuxian, if he could be counted. Wei Wuxian had lots of people, sure, the Jiangs and all his friends at school. And Lan Wangji. But he just wished there was someone who made him feel…special. Kind of like how he felt with Lan Wangji. Maybe that was a bit selfish, though.
He laughed a bit, trying to brush off the weird feeling in his chest. “Lan Zhan, you’re so good, anyone would be lucky to be with you! But who would ever want me?”
Lan Wangji blinked slowly and tightened his legs around Wei Wuxian’s, still tangled together under the table. “Wei Ying is good.”
“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian felt his face burn again, his small sun a solar flare. “You’re just saying that cause you’re my best friend.”
Lan Wangji gave him a longsuffering look, and Wei Wuxian pouted. “If you really mean it then maybe you should marry me! Then you’ll have to deal with me forever!”
Someone shushed them, and Wei Wuxian shrank, nodding sheepish apologies in their general direction. When he looked back, Lan Wangji was looking at him, lips parted again and ears the slightest shade of pink. Double cute.
“How about it, Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian continued. “How about we do one of those things where we get settled down together at 30 if we’re still single?” He was digging himself into oblivion for sure, but what did it matter? When Lan Wangji didn’t agree he would just brush it off and they’d go back to normal, another joke on an ordinary day. It would hurt, sure, but it wasn’t something he couldn’t live through. Why it would hurt was not something he wanted to examine right now.
But Lan Wangji, the perfect man, looked down and tucked a stray hair behind his blossoming ear, humming a single, “Mn.”
Wei Wuxian thought he had heard wrong, rapidly flipping through all of Lan Wangji’s different “mn’s” in his brain to check. But there was no mistaking it. Lan Wangji looked up at him again, inquisitive, lips settled into a soft smile, and Wei Wuxian’s face was as red as the sunset outside.
“Th-That’s what you said, Lan Zhan!”
“Mn.”
“You can’t take it back!”
“Mn.”
Wei Wuxian gazed at Lan Wangji, feeling like he was floating in a lotus lake. Lan Wangji furrowed his brow, looking uncertain. “Wei Ying?”
“Pinky promise,” Wei Wuxian said, sticking out his pinky and keeping his eyes on Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji’s eyes mellowed, indulging in his ridiculous request, curling his pinky around Wei Wuxian’s and shaking it slightly up and down.
Wei Wuxian stared at their linked fingers. “You can’t go back on it now, Lan Zhan!”
“Mn.”
And Wei Wuxian smiled, soft as dawn light.