Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Yuta always knew that they were supposed to be together. They were both the same in a way, coming from foreign countries and then feeling totally out of place. Both of them even became trainees at around the same time, so close in fact, that Mark only arrived a few days before himself.

The first time Yuta saw Mark, he knew he had to succeed and become an official idol. Not just for the sake of his own career anymore, no, he wanted to be able to provide for Mark and make sure he could never want for anything. He had felt immediate infatuation and a consuming need to protect Mark. He was just so precious. His eyes crinkled cutely when he grinned, his laugh made the room feel ten times brighter and his self confidence was admirable. Yuta certainly hadn’t felt that sure of himself. His Korean wasn’t perfect and had room for improvement but he still felt it was better than Mark’s. Though the language certainly didn’t seem to stop Mark from making friends, Yuta was almost jealous.

Almost, since Mark was just about the most adorable thing his eyes had ever and would ever be blessed to see, his need to “protect” Mark won over his petty jealousy. This need was consuming and Yuta craved to shield Mark from the world with his own body, hence his obsession with hugging Mark all the time. It started as a friendly thing, but Yuta found that he really liked to hug Mark and then seized every opportunity he could find to hug Mark. Every opportunity.

Unsurprisingly, Yuta’s heart softened every time his eyes wandered to wherever Mark was. Whether it was Mark practicing, his voice cracking as he tried to reach a high note or just simply taking a sip of water, these actions were incredibly endearing. Yuta also enjoyed how grown up he felt in comparison to Mark, he was around 4 years older than him. He came to find out this information near-instantly, Mark had come running to him after he left his room for the first time and introduced himself excitedly.

“HI HYUNG! I’M MIN HYUNG! YOU CAN CALL ME MARK THOUGH!”

“Oh, um, hello.”

At the time, Yuta had blushed out of pure embarrassment. He was an introverted 16 year old; this outgoing child he had noticed as soon as he entered SM Entertainment for the first time (he really couldn’t believe that someone could look so close to a cute baby lion) was introducing himself and full sentences had seemed like an impossible concept. He was truly lost for words.

“DO YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS? I’M ON BREAK RIGHT NOW AND WE COULD TOTALLY HAVE LUNCH TOGETHER!”

Yuta couldn’t think of a better proposal.

“Yeah, sure.”

Mark didn’t seemed to be even slightly put off by Yuta’s lack of speech and had grabbed his hand and dragged him to go pick up some food from the cafe in the lobby. Yuta had been completely dazed and couldn’t remember the journey from the practice rooms, down the lift and to the trendy cafe. In hindsight, that was embarrassing. Occupied by staring off at a wall, Yuta almost hadn’t caught the small voice directed to him.

“Hyung?”

“Mhm?”

“I, uh, forgot my money”

“Oh.”

Yuta wanted to be annoyed at this, truly he did, but Mark was just so cute. His puppy eyes had been staring up at him (at the time, Mark was over a foot shorter than him) and it was at this moment that he realised that he would go to the ends of the Earth if Mark just so wished. He outdent bring himself to mind about that either.

“I’ll pay then” He added with a small smile

“Thanks, hyung!”

Of course Mark had ordered the drink with the highest sugar content that was humanly possible. Was that even allowed in their diets? Either way, it had been endearing. Sure, it had only been a two hour flight but Yuta was still exhausted so he had gone with a black coffee. Silence covered them like a blanket once they had sat down, until Mark started babbling again. He had had so much energy.

“Hyung?”

“Yes?”

“What’s your name?”

Oh, of course, he had never actually introduced himself. Stupid.

“I’m Nakamoto Yuta”

“THAT’S A NICE NAME, HYUNG!”

“Thanks.”

“Where are you from? Are you from Japan? You sound Japanese, that would be so cool if you were! I’ve been before, with my parents! OH! I’m from Canada! Have you ever gone there?”

Yuta was speechless again and he has raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

“Uhm yeah, I’m from Osaka actually. I’m sorry, I’ve never had the pleasure of visiting Canada before, is it nice?”

“Of course it is, silly! I’m twelve by the way, I’m turning thirteen soon!”

“Really? When?”

“On the 2nd of August! I’m so excited! What about you, hyung?”

The 2nd of August was officially his favourite day of the year.

“The 26th of October, I turned sixteen fairly recently”

“Oh cool! I love October, because of Halloween, you know? The candy is amazing and it’s all free!” Mark’s grin was infectious.

“Yeah, me too.”

They fell into easy conversation, Mark obviously did most of the talking but the pair had been content with this arrangement. Unfortunately, Mark’s break had come to an end much too soon. After he had given Yuta a quick hug for his ‘trouble’, Mark disappeared back into the practice rooms and Yuta went to hide in his bedroom.

Over the next few days, Yuta had met the rest of the SM rookies and got settled in. He had thrown himself into training, since he had a new motivation.

Chapter Text

Two years later

Yuta smiled to himself; he could remember these events like they were yesterday. He had finally reached his goal and managed to debut (since he was currently sleeping in a dorm room which he shared with the other members), now it was a matter of continuing to work hard. He closed his eyes and pulled the duvet up to his chin. The air was chilly and after a gruelling day of dance practice, all he wanted to do was fall asleep, but the absence of a body next to him felt more and more obvious as the days went by. It was now the 26th of November and he briefly notes how it had been exactly one month since the best day of his life, his eighteenth birthday.

He remembers how he woke up to rush to the bathroom. His heart had burned. That was more than fine to him though, because he got to see Mark’s name appear on his chest. He could’ve cried, and he’d be lying if he said his eyes didn’t water. It wasn’t that much of a surprise because the inexplicable attachment towards the smaller boy was kind of a massive clue. However, he had still breathed a sigh of relief, the little voice in the back of his head had been making him doubt himself in the weeks leading up to his birthday. A huge weight was lifted off his shoulders, he certainly wouldn’t be satisfied with anyone else. After had his private moment of excitement, he put a shirt on and went into the kitchen.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUTA!” exclaimed his nine other members. He was thrilled that his friends had remembered.

Body cold, but heart warmed, Yuta continues to grin because the memory of his members all wearing party hats and standing there with a large cake is wonderful. Of course, Mark was the cutest. He had been stood there in a slightly oversized hoodie and looked uncharacteristically nervous, fiddling with his sleeves. So the only logical action was to hug Mark first, and then thank the other members second. Priorities.

“Come on, blow out the candles, we woke up early for this” Johnny huffed.

Broken out of his trance, Yuta had let go of Mark tentatively and blew out the candles and made a wish:

I hope Mark accepts me when he turns eighteen.

“What did you wish for?”

“I can’t tell you, I want it to come true”

“Oh, okay”

The group had spent the rest of the morning eating cake, talking and watching Yuta open his gifts. He received quite a lot: a card from his parents, clothes from Johnny and Taeyong, football gloves from Jungwoo, the cake was baked by Jaehyun, tickets to see one of his favourite bands live from Doyoung and Haechan, tickets to watch a national football game and Winwin got him every Studio Ghibli DVD with the promise to watch all of them with him. Yuta had been so pleased with all of his gifts but still had to try and hide his disappointment, Mark didn’t get him anything.

“Hey, hyung?”

“Mark? What do you want?” Oh, that sounded mean.

Mark’s eyes had widened a little in disbelief and then looked a little put out but he continued anyway.

“I need to show you something, its for your birthday.”

“Sure.”

“Come with me, okay?” he said with a small smile.

Mark grabbed Yuta’s wrist and led the older boy to his room and presented him with three small boxes wrapped in delicate yellow tissue paper.

“Happy birthday, Hyung! Go on, open them!”

At the time, Yuta had gaped at the poor boy, he really thought Mark had forgotten. That would make anyone nervous, so Mark lost his confidence and stared at the ground, fiddling with his sleeves again. Yuta carefully tore the tissue paper on the first present to find a ceramic mug. There were small fingerprints on the side, clearly handmade and dipped.

“I made it, hyung, do you like it? I’m sorry it’s not perfect but I put a lot of effort in, going to a class and everything. It’s also the fourth version, the first three, uh, blew up in the kiln. The teacher was actually reluctant to ket me have another go, can you believe it?” Mark huffed.

Oh. My. God.

Mark couldn’t get any cuter if he tried. Yuta had wanted to cry. He opened the second and third presents at the same time, it was a pair of earrings and a candle.

“My cousin has a jewellery shop, I saw these and thought of you, hyung. The story behind the candle isn’t as interesting, I was at the shop, the smell reminded me of you so I bought it. I did have to fight a middle aged woman for it though, but I won!”

That was more precious than life itself; Yuta briefly wondered if he could just… steal Mark? He didn’t want the boy to be corrupted by all the awful people on the outside world. Ultimately, Yuta decided against this because this bleak reality could really use some hope.

“Thank you, I don’t know what to say. I love them, you really couldn’t have picked anything better!”

“I’m so happy to hear that, op-hyung! I was really nervous to give these to you because I thought you’d hate them”

“I could never.” Yuta grinned.

“Good.” Mark grinned back. “I had to give them to you while we were alone though, I didn’t want the others to make fun of me or something”

“I don’t mind”

“Sooooo, I was just wondering, do you have your soulmate mark yet? You turned eighteen right, because that is what I wrote in your card. Sorry, hyung”

“No, I did turn eighteen, don’t worry so yes, I did get my soulmate mark”

“COOL! CAN I SEE?”

Yuta had frozen, he couldn’t let Mark know, the younger boy would hate him; he likes girls, not guys.

“Um, no, sorry”

“Why not?”

“It’s personal”

“Do I know them?”

“Yes actually, really well”

“I know! It’s Winwin, isn’t it? I knew you always had a crush on him!” Yuta failed to detect the thinly veiled jealousy in Mark’s voice, Mark just didn’t want to be forgotten.

“Hahah no, not Winwin”

“Oh” Mark looked down, his feet looked really interesting at that moment and his ears burned in embarrassment. “You won’t leave me, will you? We will still be able to hang out and stuff, right? I don’t want to lose my best friend.”

Poor Markie. Yuta had done the only thing he could think to do, he wrapped his arms around Mark in a hug. He had squeezed tightly.

“I could never, Markie”

With the end of that memory, Yuta was blushing but he was completely content. He was so lucky, he must been the most selfless person in his previous life to deserve someone like Mark. His slender fingers delicately traced the name on his chest as he drifted off to sleep.

A/N: lets pretend that NCT 127 debuted in 2015 instead of 2016, okay? Suspension of disbelief is truly a wonderful thing.

Chapter Text

The cool air swept through Yuta’s hair. Winter was slowly coming to an end, shifting into spring. Yuta had finally worked up the courage to ask Mark on a date, a platonic one, of course. He’s not trying to have a romantic relationship with a fourteen year old. They didn’t have many opportunities to spend time together alone anymore. More of Mark’s free time was being taken up by schoolwork. Occasionally, if he was in an insecure mood, he would take this personally and feel sad because he thought that Mark might not care about him anymore. It wasn’t usually a problem but sometimes when Mark would retreat into his room to study for a test, he felt a little left behind.

He was going to change that today. Yuta had brought Mark to Lotte world. Fighting with their manager to let them take the day off to make this trip and leaving discreetly so they didn’t have to bring the other members was definitely worth it to see Mark’s face light up in childish glee.

Mark actually squealed and then ran off, but not before grabbing Yuta’s hand again.

“LETS GO GET CANDY FLOSS, HYUNG!”

“Okay”

After they arrived at the stand, Mark ordered the largest size possible and then another one for Yuta.

“Hey Hyung?”

“Yeah?”

“I forgot my wallet” he smiled sheepishly “can you pay?”

This was happening way too often for it to be a coincidence anymore, either that, or Mark was one of the most forgetful people on the planet. Yuta didn’t mind paying though, seeing Mark smile was more than enough. He swears he could live off Mark’s smiles alone.

“Sure” Yuta raised his eyebrow at Mark, but his wide smile made it obvious that he wasn’t in the least bit annoyed or inconvenienced.

“You’re the best!”

“Good to hear, Markie”

They spent the next few hours going on all the rides and queuing, lots of queuing. Eventually, Yuta noticed that Mark was getting a little tired, so he suggested that they stop off for lunch. He agreed, so they sat down in a small booth in one of the many restaurants.

“Hyungggg, my feet hurrrrt” Mark whined.

“What would you like me to do about that?” He replied.

“I don’t knowwwwww, make it go away, or like, carry me”

“I hate to burst your bubble, but I’m not carrying you”

“Why not? Are you calling me fat?”

“NO! Of course not! We’re just uh, sitting down right now, so I really couldn’t carry you if I tried”

Mark huffed in response and was about to open his mouth again when the waitress came by to take their orders and was looking Yuta up and down. She was very pretty, but obviously not his type. Yuta cleared his throat.

“I’ll just have a cheeseburger, curly fries and a large sprite, please.” Yuta gives her a polite smile.

“Sure, Oppa” She fluttered her eyelashes. Yuta wanted to leave the situation, she was definitely older than him. Help. “and what do you want, young man?” She directed her stare at Mark, finally remembering he was there.

“Um hi, I’ll have a double quarter pounder and the-“ Mark stopped what he was saying to glare at the waitress, who had opted to ignore Mark to stare at Yuta’s jawline. “excuse me, but are you writing down my order? I asked for a double quarter pounder and a chocolate milkshake?” The waitress was off in another world.

Yuta had to intervene.

“My friend ordered the double quarter pounder and chocolate milkshake.”

Broken out of her trance she finally wrote their orders down with flushed cheeks. But before she left she put her hand on Yuta’s shoulder.

“Oppa, my shift ends in half an hour and maybe you could ditch the child you’re stuck with at the moment to hang out with me instead~~” She said with regained confidence into Yuta’s ear, while smirking in Mark’s direction. His eyes widened in disbelief, he was about to politely decline but Mark beat him to it.

“OH MY GOD, WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP? HE’S CLEARLY NOT INTERESTED IN YOU, GIVE IT UP ALREADY! HE’S TAKEN, HE’S GOT A SOULMATE ALREADY!” Mark spat angrily.

“Oh what does it matter to you anyway, kid? Soulmates certainly don’t matter to me”

“Leave now to the kitchens with our orders or I swear I will call the manager” Mark seethed.

The waitress scoffed but left anyway.

“Bitch” said the younger boy.

“That’s not a very kind thing to say, but she was kind of asking for it” Yuta let out a breathy laugh, he was relieved and very grateful towards Mark.

Thankfully, twenty minutes later, a different waitress returned with their food. They sat in a comfortable silence, occasionally commenting on how nice the food was until Mark remembered the waitress and her lack of enthusiasm towards soulmates.

“Hyung?”

“Yeah?”

“Soulmates are really important, right?” Mark looked unsure of himself “I thought everyone wanted to be with their soulmate exclusively?”

“Well, most people do, I think that soulmate marks are a blessing.”

“Me too, I can’t wait to turn eighteen, get my mark and then meet my soulmate. I wonder what she’s like? I bet she’s going to be the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen”

Yuta felt his heart shatter into a million tiny fragments. He knew he shouldn’t tell Mark, he’s straight and would hate Yuta if he found out that his fantasies of a beautiful girl as his soulmate were never, ever going to come true. Mark was stuck with him.

“One can hope” he said, deflated.

“Hyung, you never told me who your soulmate is, when can I meet him?” Mark pressed.

“Hopefully, one day, if he accepts me” he mumbles.

“You guys aren’t dating? Why not?”

“It’s complicated, Markie”

“Can I do anything to help?” Yuta could laugh at the irony.

“Um, not really, sorry”

“Okay, Hyung”

Their mood was now considerably dampened and when it was time to pay, the first waitress came back. Yuta ignored her flirtatious smile, her fluttering eyelashes and even Mark’s glare. He felt numb. Yuta paid and when the waitress wrote down her number on the back of the receipt, he threw it in the bin on their way out. He was not in the mood anymore to let her entertain the idea of them being together for even a second. His heart was reserved for one person only, and that person didn’t even want him.

Chapter Text

July was monsoon season, and it felt like they had constant rain now. Yuta was fairly indifferent, his main concern was that his hair and makeup got ruined if he was stupid enough to go outside, though the sound of raindrops hitting the window outside was so relaxing to him. That would be no one’s fault but himself. However, today was the 20th of July and there was the worst thunderstorm raging outside right now. The lightning was cracking through the air like a whip and it was getting quite violent. Suddenly, Yuta’s phone lit up his dark room while he was uncharacteristically train got get to sleep at a reasonable time.

You are now messaging: Markie <33

Mark
Hyungggggggggg

Yuta
What the hell Markie, its one am.

Mark
But
I can’t sleep
The thunder is too loud :(((

Yuta
Are you scared?

Mark
PFFT NO!

Yuta
Okay
I’ll go back to sleep then, this time putting my phone on silent -_-
Goodnight, try to get some rest :)

Mark

NO
COME BACK
PLEASE
I NEED CUDDLES YOU JERK

Yuta’s heart skipped like, three beats just then. Oops. He knows Mark doesn’t mean it in any way other than platonically but there is no way Yuta could ever pass up the chance to cuddle with Mark. They didn’t get so many of those opportunities anymore.

Yuta
Is this an invitation?

Mark
Yes, dipshit

Yuta
LANGUAGE
I’ll be right over, give me a second

Mark
Hurry up :((

Yuta rolled out of bed, shivering as the AC was still running and the cool air was prickling his skin. He was so comfortable a second ago, he got up, all the while looking at his warm bed. Then, he quietly pushed open the door, being mindful of the other members and cautiously turned his head to check for wild managers. While they couldn’t exactly stop him from leaving his room, they could definitely question why he was going to Mark’s room and he really could not think of a more awkward situation. After deciding the coast was clear, Yuta anxiously knocked on Mark’s bedroom door.

“… Markie?”

“Hyung?” Mark sniffles, he had clearly been crying.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Yuta’s soulmate mark was hurting right then.

“… no … I just … the thunder is … scary. It’s so embarrassing”

“Don’t be embarrassed, okay? Many people are afraid of thunderstorms. Is there anything I can do to help?”

“… can we cuddle? I always feel safe when I’m with you”

Yuta was pretty sure that his brain was melting because MARK FEELS SAFE WITH HIM. MARK LIKES HIM! Well he knew that already, but the reassurance was always nice.

“Of course we can” he says, smiling softly at the younger boy.

The two boys crawled into bed together, Yuta’s larger frame perfectly covering Mark’s smaller one. They stayed in this position for all of five minutes, until Mark turned around quickly, burying his face into Yuta’s chest as a particularly loud lightning strike went above their heads. Yuta pressed a gentle kiss on the top of Mark’s head, starting to rub his back and mentally let out a sigh of relief as he heard Mark’s shuddering breaths start to slow down.

The older boy continued to comfort the younger, until he felt Mark’s grip on his shirt loosen and the beginning of small snores. Cute.Too tired to return to his own room, Yuta tenderly pulled the duvet to cover them both a little better and fell asleep

Chapter Text

Mark had a girlfriend. Yuta’s heart had been crushed into a million tiny little pieces, he may as well have ripped his heart from his chest and then stomped on it.

Sadly, he had been expecting for this day to come for a while because he’d heard the complaints Mark made when he returned home from school, about how he couldn’t walk to his classes without some girl or boy confessing their “love” to him. What the hell? Firstly, Yuta has called dibs so they can’t have him. Secondly, they’re all like fourteen, what would they know about the intricacies of love? How was it fair that these stupid children thought that they had a chance with HIS soulmate? The sad thing was that they in fact, did have more of a chance with Mark than him.
At least they wouldn’t be called a pedophile. Now the rules did work differently for soulmates but frankly, Yuta didn’t agree with them. He would rather die than violate a minor. His feelings for Mark was only genuine love rather than lust (again, that is just gross).

Back to the point, it was a regular Thursday afternoon and he was watching some anime with Winwin in the living room, waiting patiently for Mark to get home. The minutes ticked by, one minute turned into ten, and ten minutes turned into thirty, eventually Mark was a whole hour late. Before Yuta could send out a search party for his precious baby, Mark stumbled through the door. The younger by was smiling so wide that Yuta’s face hurt.

“DON’T SCARE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN, I WAS SO WORRIED”

“Hyung, I’m like, fourteen now, I think I can handle myself”

Yeah, absolutely not, Yuta retaliated in his head.

“Sure Mark, but why were you so late?”

“Yeah, about that, I was with my girlfriend, Eunji”

“WHAT?”

Yuta personally wanted to crawl into a hole and die but Taeyong dropped the plate he was holding and Winwin was opening and closing his mouth, probably trying to form words.

“Is it really that hard to believe that I have a girlfriend? Ugh, you guys suck.”

“YAH! Respect your elders!” Taeyong growled.

“Sorry Tae, but anyways, I’m going to leave now because I promised to call her once I got home”

“Didn't you see her five minutes ago?”

“Yes well, I just miss her so much”

Yuta was going to be sick.

“Mark, you said you had some free time today? I thought we were going to hang out together?”

“Sorry hyung, not anymore. I have a girlfriend now”

Yuta followed Mark to his room.

“Hyung, please get out of my room, I need to face time Eunji.”

“You’re really ditching me for a girl?”

“Ditching is a harsh word, and I’m sorry that I broke our promise but she’s my soulmate”

“You’re fourteen.”

“I just know, okay? I can feel that we’re supposed to be together.” Mark huffed.

Obviously, the tattoo in Yuta’s chest proved that statement wrong but that didn’t mean that he felt any less crappy about it. It was just so painful. He wanted nothing more that to just grab Mark by the shoulders, stare into his beautiful eyes and tell him the truth. That wasn’t an option because Mark doesn’t and wouldn’t ever love him back. Not like he wants him to. Therefore, his only option was to take a deep breath and continue to pretend like they weren’t soulmates because Yuta’s life goal was to make Mark as happy as he could.

“When did you start dating?”

“Today, at lunch, she confessed to me and started crying when I agreed to go out with her, hyung. She’s just so cute and perfect!” Mark gushed, he literally had the universe twinkle in his eyes when he talked about her.

It felt like a punch to the gut. Why couldn’t Markie talk about him like that?

“AND I’m going out with her on a date tomorrow too!”

That felt even worse, Mark should stop talking now. Yuta felt even less worthy and loved than usual. How could he not? Eunji was probably stunningly beautiful (she’d have to be if she was going to date Mark), with porcelain skin, a small feminine face and skinny on top of that. Yuta tried to ignore these feelings of envy but he thought about this kind of thing constantly. Now, instead of feeling pure elation when he glanced at Mark, he was flooded with sadness and longing. A bit of desperation too.

If Yuta had to spend the rest of his life alone then he would do it. Without hesitation. Besides, once Mark turns eighteen, he’ll learn the truth and be disgusted. He’ll never talk to Yuta again, unless he absolutely has to. What if Mark leaves NCT because of him? Maybe, Yuta will make the sacrifice and leave the group. This was Markie’s dream, it would be selfish of him not to. His mind made up, Yuta kindly congratulates his soulmate on his new relationship and leaves with a heavy heart.

Chapter Text

On the one-month anniversary of Mark and his stupid girlfriend (who was actually very nice and a huge fan of theirs but that doesn’t mean he HAS to like her), Yuta was curled under five duvets, eating his feelings and pretending that everything was okay. It wasn’t. He was so depressed and the fans were starting to notice.

Halfway through his second tub of ice cream, he remembered that he was way over his calorie limit of the day but he couldn’t find it in himself to give a shit. Why should he? Mark was never going to notice if he looked good. Yuta wanted Mark to to find him handsome, desperately. The fans probably had a shallow love for him anyway, he was never the centre of attention so no one was going to notice if he wore a baggier T-shirt or started to dress like a slob. Besides, he had been losing the temptation to feed himself lately, the manager may even be pleased with that development, if they bothered to notice. His logic was very scattered right now. Shovelling the last spoonful of ice cream in his mouth, he reached for the third tub that was melting beside his bed because he anticipated the amount of comfort he’d need on this very bad day.

Yuta sighed because the thought of the manager made him want to die a little bit. They’d, uh, seen the concerns of the fans when Yuta became less and less talkative on interviews, Vlive and any other appearance they made. They seemed exactly the same to him now. Mark would be happy and laughing without Yuta causing it, which just made him feel even shittier. His laugh used to make Yuta’s world go round and in a way, it still did because Yuta loved Mark more than anything and always would. However, now he was also reminded of how much Mark would laugh when he had phone conversations with his stupid girlfriend.

The managers were angry at him - not angrier than he was at himself - because now the fans have made edits of every time Yuta has gazed longingly at Mark. These edits were minutes long, how much time did their fans have? Though he still has enough life in him to secretly watch all of the Yumark videos available to him on youtube and post on his fan account, which he admits, is a more than pathetic. Also, he was absolutely terrified, what if Mark saw? They were already starting to drift apart, faster every time he got ditched for Eunji. He really didn’t need things to get worse and his sense of abandonment was skyrocketing.

Then Yuta’s jumbled thoughts led to a period of hating Mark’s stupid girlfriend again, it was three am and almost nothing he was thinking made any sort of sense. Her laugh was stupid. It was so high pitched and if you asked him, he’d say it’s fake. No one laughs like that. Seriously, who are you fooling? Mark, apparently. Honestly, Yuta thinks that Mark’s feelings are not reciprocated and that Eunji doesn’t really like him, she likes dating an idol. Bitch. She clings to his arm all the time and is so goddamn bossy, sure she was nice to everyone but Yuta knows better, this is all an act. She’s a horrible attention seeker and he hates her more than anything. That’s even more of a lie than her feelings for Mark. Yuta hates the fact that he is so jealous more than he hates her stupid, pretty face.

He worked even harder in dance practice, mainly because it was such a good distraction and he didn’t need to talk to any of the members since he was “concentrating”. Mark barely even sweats during practice now, that’s how many breaks he is taking. He hates himself for being bothered by this, despite having every reason to be. They were supposed to be soulmates and Yuta was denying fate just so Mark could live a stupid lie for a bit longer.

This constant, overbearing sadness was affecting him so seriously now. His lack of sleep and his lack of enthusiasm for eating (unless it was for stuffing his face with ice cream and other junk when he was feeling extra sad) on top of his newfound obsession with dance practices are leading to him collapsing from exhaustion.

Flashback

It was one in the morning and Yuta was by himself in the dance studio, his only company being his reflection that if he was being honest, he didn’t want to see. He really wanted to perfect a difficult dance move for tomorrow (well, later that day) so he could impress the instructor (and Mark if he would look up from his damn phone). Yuta had his earphones in, blasting music so he couldn’t hear his thoughts anymore and so he didn’t wake any of the other members. A thin layer of sweat coated his body and the only audible sounds in the room were the squeaks that Yuta’s shoes made and his laboured breathing. He had been here for two and a half hours already, but he didn’t feel like that was enough. So, he took a deep breath and started again, choosing to go from the top. Yuta had been panting and his eyes could barely stay open, they were already hurting but the black spots had taken over his vision. That hadn’t happened before. He didn’t even manage to collect himself or grab a drink, because he had collapsed on the ground, completely unconscious.

Thankfully, he had awoken twenty seconds later but since he was so sleep deprived he reasoned that he could take a quick nap and then wake up to finish practice. Spoiler, he did not. Five hours later, the rest of NCT 127 entered the room, all of them pretending to be more awake than they were. They did not expect to see Yuta sprawled on the floor in fitful sleep. After waking him up, they offered him a coffee (which he drank) but refused to go back to the dorms to rest. Yuta had dismissed the Mark’s concerned words and quickly joined the warm-ups, slightly flustered.

End flashback

He wanted to go to sleep, cry and escape from the crushing feeling of unreciprocated love, but that feeling kept him up at night. He could never have a good nights rest anymore, therefore he also got to look like shit all the time. Yuta wanted to cry every time he looked in the mirror. His eye bags were so dark and he had to use more and more makeup to cover them everyday, despite his binge eating, his ribs were starting to poke out and his back was so hunched, he looked so dull, like a zombie. Yet, despite all these changes, no one noticed. Definitely not Mark, who was supposed to be his best friend. Whatever, as long as he is happy, Yuta doesn’t mind killing himself slowly.

Chapter Text

Mark’s POV

After excusing himself to go to the bathroom, Mark slumped on the toilet seat in his cramped cubicle, after making sure the lid was closed, of course. A shuddered sigh left his lips while he tightly gripped his phone because he and Eunji had had an argument about couples photos, of all things. She just couldn’t seem to have enough; she posted one two days ago. That time, she had showed up at the dorms at four in the bloody morning and dragged his ass out of bed so they could take a picture as the sun rose. Seeing her satisfied smile almost made the ordeal worth it, but he was seriously slacking in dance practice now and yet she still expects Mark to be able to reply to her messages within 5 minutes. It’s like she forgets he has a full-time job.

However, Mark had been noticing Yuta’s changes in behaviour more and more. These days, Yuta looked sadder and sadder, he also took every opportunity to retreat into his room. Closing himself off. They didn’t talk that much anymore but they were definitely still best friends, they just weren’t as close. If Mark was being honest, Yuta looked more empty, as if he was a robot whose only purpose was to carry out meaningless tasks. All Yuta did was wake up and go to dance practice, he doesn’t even smile at Mark anymore, it’s more of grimace, if anything.

Maybe, it was Yuta’s soulmate who was causing these issues. Yuta had told Mark a few times before that things between him and his soulmate were complicated. The stupid soulmate who was making his best friend sad. They weren’t allowed to do that. Yuta’s smile must be protected, and Mark felt like he was the best person to do so. What was more annoying is that Yuta refuses to tell Mark the name of his soulmate. They were supposed to be best friends, why would Yuta keep this a secret from him? It almost felt like the older boy didn’t trust him. He had a half mind to rip open his hyung’s shirt, just to spite him. Ultimately, Mark decided against this plan of action because there are all sorts of ‘personal space’ rules that he would be violating.

Mark knew how much having a soulmate meant to Yuta, Mark felt the same way. He wanted to have someone he could call his own, the ultimate companionship they both so desperately wanted. There was no doubt in Mark’s mind that the lack of a soulmate would devastate Yuta, which is why he could so easily blame them, and because they’re definitely a bitch. Who in their right mind would pass up on someone like Yuta. Heck, sometimes he was swept away by how objectively handsome Yuta is. Especially when they have just finished a performance, Yuta obviously executing every move flawlessly and the layer of sweat makes his shirt stick to his body. Sometimes, a single bead of sweat will run down Yuta’s slender neck and every time this happens, Mark questions himself for finding it as attractive as he does.

He missed the Yuta who loved to make Mark smile, who wouldn’t be satisfied until he got a hug from his best friend and most importantly, the one who spent time with him (though maybe that a was also a little bit his fault as well). Between his dates with Eunji, his responsibilities with NCT and homework, there wasn’t much free time where he could hang out with his best friend of many years.

Then it hit him like an oncoming train, perhaps Yuta’s soulmate could be a factor in his recent low mood but it was just as likely that Mark was too. He could hardly take the moral high ground with Yuta’s dumbass soulmate if he was also hurting Yuta’s feelings. He had been throwing Yuta’s friendship to the side and had taken it for granted. Mark felt awful. He was going to make more time for Yuta, he had been one of the best constants in his life to date and he was going to make sure his best friend knew he was appreciated.

Chapter Text

At first, it seemed like the second of August was going to be a pretty crap day on the scale of things. Sure, it was his favourite day of the year, but Yuta had little to no doubt that Mark was going to ditch him for the company of his stupid girlfriend. Yuta used this as his reasoning as for why he didn’t plan a party for the younger boy. Eunji probably prepared something, she would want to post it after all. Oversharing bitch. This had left Yuta feeling bitter, a familiar type of bitterness, but unpleasant all the same.

Yuta shrank further underneath the blankets, feeling even worse than when he had gone to sleep. He was feeling anxious about whether or not Mark would like his gift. Usually, Yuta would come up with the most thoughtful presents but this year, he wasn’t as into it, he blames Eunji. Yuta started to hate himself a little bit more because he felt deep regret that he hadn’t tried harder with Mark’s gifts. How could he only get Mark the latest MacBook and iPhone? That wasn’t personal at all. Frick. Thank god that he had also learned how to drive in secret; he wanted to surprise Mark by being able to drive Mark to school and anywhere if he asked. Though Yuta hadn’t thought about it before, he realised that maybe he’d have to become Mark and Eunji’s chauffeur for they stupid dates. That was going to be beyond painful.

Eunji doesn’t deserve to have Mark as her boyfriend. She probably doesn’t know anything about Mark. She probably doesn’t know that Mark is afraid of thunderstorms or when other members are cooking, the only reason Mark stays is so he can eat the ingredients when he thinks no one else is looking, same goes for when he licks the spoon, everyone can see him. It’s rather sweet actually, Mark’s childish mentality of ‘if I can’t see them, they can’t see me’. However, Yuta is sure that Eunji doesn’t know about Mark’s real reason for his preference of oversized sweaters. He would like to point out that Mark doesn’t actually have any hoodies or sweaters of his own, he just “borrows” them from Yuta and then “forgets” to give them back. Not that he minds of course, it made Yuta feel closer to Mark when Mark’s attitude towards him completely contradicted that and it gave him the satisfying feeling of possession, since Mark was wearing his sweater instead, it felt like Yuta had something on Eunji. Mark loves having sweater paws. Since the older boy was a full head taller than Mark, every sweater, hoodie or jumper that Mark stole would hang to his mid thigh, swallow him and the sleeves were so long that he needed to roll up the sleeves to his elbows in order to function somewhat gracefully.

That, and he loves Yuta’s “smell”. Yuta knew this because Mark told him one time a couple weeks ago (though he’d been borrowing Yuta’s clothes for much longer than this) when the younger boy was half asleep and drunk on fatigue. Mark had had his nose buried in Yuta’s shirt and rambled about how he just has the most comforting smell and how it calmed him down whenever he felt stressed. Take that Eunji. Haha, Mark wears the Japanese boy’s sweater when he went on dates with his girlfriend, and when he was busy not doing dance at dance practice. The smaller boy had been exhausted and had fallen asleep soon after that confession. When Yuta finished processing what had just been said and that the boy was out cold, he didn’t have the heart to move him from sofa, nor to reclaim his clothes.

Funnily enough, thinking about these sorts of moments is what calms Yuta down and he had been fully prepared to not leave his room that day. He had grabbed a glass of water on his way back from leaving Mark’s birthday presents by the door and was ready to lie completely motionless, staring blankly at the ceiling while running memories of him and Mark together like an old film to act as his comfort for the rest of the day. Yuta was thirty minutes into his slightly depressing plan when the last person he expected to see burst through the door. Mark.

“What are you doing here?”

“I have come to spend the day with you hyung!” the birthday boy chirped.

“But why? Don’t you have something better to do, for example, hanging out with your girlfriend, like you always do?”

Apparently, Yuta was more bitter than he had previously realised. He also really regretted saying that to Mark, of course he wants to spend time with his soulmate. The purpose of a soulmate would be defeated if he didn’t want to be with Markie. Unfortunately, his mouth was moving a lot faster than his heart.

“Hyung…?”

“What.”

Nonononononononono. This is bad, now he was being short with Mark.

“I thought you would want to hang out today, just us two? I kinda cancelled on Eunji for this, and she’s beyond mad at me. So, if we could enjoy ourselves, that would be brilliant because at least then I’d be able to say that it was worth awakening whatever demon that is resting inside my girlfriend.”

“…”

“Please, hyung?”

“Fine, let me get dressed”

“Yay!” Mark did a little happy dance to celebrate and Yuta had to bury his face into his pillow, otherwise the younger boy would see the large smile on his face. Mark is too cute for this world.

Without warning, Mark flopped on top of Yuta, who clearly couldn’t get out of bed quickly enough. Ignoring the fact that the Japanese boy was wheezing, trying to regain his breathing privileges, the now fifteen year old leant down to his ear and whispered:

“I love my presents by the way, shame you couldn’t give them to me yourself. Why didn’t you? Perhaps you were scared?” Mark smirked.

Yuta only rolled his eyes.

Chapter Text

Yuta never expected that Mark would make the day more about him than himself, even though it was the boy’s birthday. He felt slightly guilty for it, did Mark just feel sorry for him? Is that why he cancelled on Eunji? Out of pity? Probably. He faced Mark, who was sitting opposite him at the restaurant that the younger boy dragged them to and fiddled with his fingers underneath the table. He clearly wasn’t the only one who had been feeling awkward, despite him being so confident earlier, Mark was avoiding his gaze and seemed to be at a loss for words too.

An uncomfortable silence blanketed the two boys until the waitress came by to take their order. Sensing the tension too, she left as quickly as she came. The awkwardness was almost too much to bear, Yuta didn’t really have much to say to Mark, since he didn’t care to talk about Eunji. However, Mark had seemed to come to the conclusion that Yuta wasn’t too fond of his girlfriend, so when he cleared his throat to speak, it was to start a conversation about something else for once.

“Hyung…”

“…”

Yuta was too occupied with staring at Mark to notice him speak. He was wearing a collared shirt, while it was definitely a new look, it suited the fifteen year old, it made him seem more grown up but the collar had not been set down properly. The end was flicked upwards and grazed Mark’s neck as he swallowed, he was transfixed.

“Hyung.”

“Huh? Yeah?”

“I was asking if you wanted to watch Black Butler with me later? I know you’ve watched it already with Winwin but I kinda wanted to watch it too. You don’t really seem interested though, I can ask Eunji if she wants to-“

“NO!”

Yuta was cussing himself out in his head. This is absolutely not what he wanted to happen. Sure he’d watched that particular anime at least three times over by now but he’d rather die than miss an opportunity to spend time with and to cuddle Mark.

“Uh, I mean, no its okay I’d love to watch Black Butler with you”

“Great! Can we start as soon as we get home?”

“Sure, Markie”

“…You haven’t called me that in ages”

It was true, he hadn’t, at least not out loud. Ever since they’d started drifting, Yuta had felt he had to drop the habit of calling his soulmate by that particular nickname. Of course the fans had noticed that too and were asking about what had happened between the two. Nothing seemed to slip by them. Now that Mark had mentioned his screw up, he began to feel self conscious. Really self conscious. Mark was going to hate him and he was going to get up and leave. The silence seemed to creep back until Yuta snapped out of his small moment of self loathing.

“I guess I haven’t, do you feel uncomfortable with it? Should I stop?”

Wow. Someone needed to give the man a medal, he said that without stuttering and almost completely pulled off his false nonchalance.

“No, uh, I like it. You’re the only one who calls me that and you’re also the only person person I allow to call me that. Eunji tried it once, but it felt wrong somehow.”

Yuta couldn’t even stop the victorious smile that spread across his face; the soulmate bond was doing its job for once. This seemed to lighten the mood a little, Mark gained confidence from Yuta’s bright smile that he missed.

“Thanks, Markie. I’m glad to be the favourite”

His grin got even wider when he saw that his comment made a blush spread across his soulmate’s cheeks. Whether it was from embarrassment or genuine excitement, he’d never know, nor did he particularly care. It was a nice change from being ignored. Christ, he was starved for attention.

“Don’t tell Eunji…”

“Nah I won’t, this can stay between us” he said with a wink.

“Hyunnnnnggg!” Mark was giggling now, mirth radiating from him.

Yuta had to subtly check his pulse under the table, just in case his heart had actually stopped beating. It had not, so he thought it was safe to share the younger boy’s happiness by laughing with him.

“Did you order?”

“I think so?”

“What do you mean that you think so? It’s been like ten minutes.”

“Shut up! You don’t remember ordering either!” the younger boy huffed.

“That’s because I didn’t order anything”

“What do you mean? Why not? When’s the last time you ate?”

“I’m not hungry, I guess. I can’t remember, yesterday? The day before? I think I ate a bag of crisps in between though.”

“You can’t just do that! Yuta hyung, you’re getting too skinny and you work harder than the rest of us…”

The younger boy trailed off, as if had suddenly started to notice that there was something seriously wrong. Yuta had a load of makeup on, yet the dark circles under his eyes were still visible and they weren’t the sort caused by one night of bad rest, but many over a long period of time. His cheekbones had become far more pronounced and his shirt hung loosely over his body, trying to conceal it rather than show it off. Obviously, his changes in behaviour weren’t the only signs. It was a cry for help and no one noticed. Thinking back, there wasn’t much of a reason that he stopped eating, he just lost the motivation. Mark not being around much didn’t help. Yuta shrank underneath Mark’s piercing gaze. Before he said anything else, he motioned the waitress over and ordered another portion of food to go. Then, he stood up and grabbed Yuta’s hand, gently pulling him towards the back of the restaurant, into the disabled restroom and locked the door behind him.

“Are you okay?”

The younger boy spoke with so much conviction in his tone and with such pleading eyes that any of Yuta’s ideas to keep his problems a secret died.

“Honestly? Not really, I don’t want to eat because I can’t be bothered, therefore, I am not hungry even though I know I should still have three meals a day. It was an accident really, I lacked the motivation and then some fans said that they liked my pronounced cheekbones so I started to want to keep them that way; I want nothing more than for the fans to be happy and now I’m scared to start eating again.”

“Oh my god”

“I’m sorry, Markie”

“Don’t be sorry, never be sorry. You know who should be sorry? Me. We haven’t been as close as we used to, I cannot apologise enough for that. I wasn’t there for you, I could apologise for the rest of my life and it wouldn’t be enough. All I can do now is to be there for you from this moment forward. You are so important to me hyung, and I want you to be happy and healthy. Whether or not you cheekbones stick out doesn’t matter to me, and it shouldn’t matter to anyone else. You are perfect just the way you are. I know that is so cliche and awful but its true, you are perfect. You are my best friend, please look after yourself, I will help. Please let me help.”

Yuta had a hand over his mouth, he wasn’t expecting that kind of confession to come from Mark. He had never seen the boy so serious and sure of himself. He choked out a couple of sobs.

“okay” [instagram font]

“Good. We’re going to start by going home with our take out food and we are going to spend the rest of the day in your room where I am going to watch you eat while we watch Black Butler. You are not going to go to dance practice today and you’re not going to sneak off and do extra later, you need some proper rest. You have to listen to me, after all, it is my birthday.”

“I’m sorry that this all happened on your birthday, Markie”

Another blush spread across Mark’s cheeks.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way”

And with that, Mark took Yuta’s hand again. He mindfully led his best friend out of the restaurant, only stopping to call a taxi and pick up their food, all the while glaring at any of the other customers who stared for too long.

Chapter Text

August 2015 - October 2015

Mark’s POV

Over the next few months, Mark makes sure Yuta is eating properly again. He brought Yuta (who was very unwilling at first) to eat with the other members at meal times so he could keep a better eye on the older boy. The others, while oblivious to the reason behind Yuta joining them at dinner, they were pleased to see him and were also pleased that he wasn’t avoiding them anymore. One evening, as Mark was staring at Yuta tentatively placing food in his mouth, he noticed that Yuta’s hair was getting much longer than usual and discovered that he liked it. He liked the way that his hair hung past his eyes and grazed his cheekbones, it made him look so handsome. Not that Yuta didn’t always look handsome, but this made him look even better, at least in his own opinion. So when Taeyong suggested that he get a haircut, Mark had a strong opinion to say the least.

“Yuta hyung, I think it’s time that you get a haircut, don’t you think it is starting to get a bit long?”

“Well Taeyong, I suppose I should, because I haven’t really been paying attention to my hair lately and-“

“NO! YOU CAN’T!” Mark had slapped his hand over his mouth immediately after, embarrassed.

“What’s wrong Markie?”

“UH NOTHING! I mean, uh nothing, it’s just that I think it would be wiser that you continued to grow out your hair”

“Why?” Taeyong looked at him questioningly.

“Well, Yuta hyung looks really nice with his hair like this, I think it suits him” Mark’s face was completely red.

“Thanks Markie, sorry Taeyong, but it looks like I won’t be getting a haircut soon” Yuta beamed at Mark which caused the flustered boy to look down at his lap.

Not that Mark is gay or anything. He can appreciate his hyung’s handsomeness without being gay. Besides he has a girlfriend, who he loves, though when Eunji last got her hair cut, Mark didn’t actually notice it until she’d angrily pointed it out. Mark remembers apologising to her many times, showing her with compliments that he believes that she deserves. That didn’t stop Mark’s thoughts from drifting to Yuta pushing his hair out of his eyes though. Fuck.

He even got Yuta to skip some of his late night practices so he could get more sleep. Mark sometimes liked to sneak into Yuta’s room so crawl into bed with him, just so he could be sure that Yuta was safe. Mark feeling extra warm and safe was just a bonus.

Yuta was gaining some of his weight back, and lost the hollowness of his cheeks and at some point during October, Johnny got fed up with Yuta’s lack of style. Once he managed to separate himself from his wonderful boyfriend Ten for more than fifteen minutes, he took Yuta out shopping, saying that it was an early birthday present:

“For the love of god, please stop wearing anything like that.” While gesturing at Yuta’s shabby, mismatched clothing. A product of Yuta temporarily giving up.

His best friend was so good looking and when he started wearing clothes that emphasised this again, he lost brain function. Not that Mark had any complaints, of course.

Mark became more aware that he was spreading his time unevenly, so he started putting his phone away during dance practice, spent at least a few hours with his best friend every evening and went on dates with Eunji, managing to do his homework in between.

November 2015 - April 2016

Yuta’s POV

It was two in the morning, why was he doing this? He really shouldn’t be. This felt wrong, but that didn’t stop Yuta from continuing to try different username combinations until he got one that was unique. Next, he entered his personal information. As he scrolled down to the 26th of October as his birthdate, he briefly felt surprised, he forgot that he’s nineteen now.

He didn’t really do anything special for his birthday, he received a call from his parents, did a VLive and he hung out with Mark until the other members took them all out for dinner at a fancy restaurant. Which was nice, until Donghyuck thought it was a brilliant idea to tell the waiting staff that it was Yuta’s birthday; they all came out to sing to him. Apparently, his friends thought that they should also join in,, , which made him want to stab himself with his fork. For a bunch of professional singers, they sang awfully, like a group of dying animals. Yuta was sure that they did it on purpose, just to embarrass him, but his bright red face did not seem to be enough to convince them that he was mortified. As it seems, the only reason they didn’t do an encore was because Yuta started smacking his head against the table. Aggressively.

So maybe Yuta doesn’t have his best ideas at two in the morning but in his defence, no one does. He supposed that it was his own fault, sure, but how was he supposed to know that while scrolling through the ‘Yumark’ hashtag on instagram would lead him to reading Yumark imagines and consequently to creating a Wattpad account? So what that maybe he read almost all of the comments using his private account to find out where he could read more imagines. He wasn’t proud of that, but as attentive as Mark is being at the moment, Yuta felt that it was all temporary and Mark was going to leave him again. He justified this as a coping mechanism, so he could read lots of scenarios where him and Mark work out in the future.

Mark went back to Canada during the Christmas holidays, so Yuta went back to Japan. They called occasionally but did their gift exchange after they returned to Korea.

“Hyung, let’s exchange gifts now”

“But we just got inside the dorms? Five minutes ago?”

“You don’t understand, I got you the best gift, you’re going to love it”

“I mean okay, let me unpack first,, , so uh,, , give me thirty minutes”

“How about no?”

“No?”

“No.”

“Um I guess I’ll just put my bag in my room and grab your present then”

“I’ll do the same, uGH IM SO EXCITED”

When Yuta’s mum had heard that her son was going to get his soulmate a store bought gift, she was not pleased. According to her, it was thoughtless and that Yuta was ‘never going to win that boy over and stop whining all the time’ unless he put some sort of effort in. Thankfully, Mrs Nakamoto was talented in knitting, so she spent most of the week teaching her son to knit. Yuta was grateful, because she was right; it was much more satisfying to make something for the person you love, rather than buy it. After a lot of blood, sweat and tears, the Japanese boy managed to make a (slightly) lumpy beanie with a pompom and he was so proud of himself.

“Ready, Markie?”

“YEAH! ME FIRST!”

The younger boy shoves a hastily wrapped gift into his arms and unconsciously fixed his eyes onto his hair again because it was windswept, it looked so good, yet distracting. Yuta opened the gift to find a (slightly) more lumpy scarf inside. He let out a small laugh of content.

“Why are you laughing? Do you hate it?” Mark’s face dropped, Yuta panicked.

“What? No, but it seems like we had the same idea”

“Huh?”

Mark opens his gift, which was poorly wrapped too. Mrs Nakamoto refused to wrap it for her son because ‘Mark would definitely be able to tell that [he] didn’t wrap it on [his] own’ and scolded Yuta for trying to cut corners in winning over his soulmate. Mark’s jaw dropped.

“I love it.”

“Good. Me too, I spent an ungodly amount of time on it, I’d cry if you hated it”

“Hyung, I could never, this is great! We can match!”

“We can, do you think we should post a selfie?”

“Absolutely”

Christmas was just such a great holiday, and that one was particularly nice because after that conversation, Mark gave Yuta a long hug and the feeling of Mark also being willing to put that much effort into a present for him was more than he could hope for.

By the time that Easter rolled around, Yuta’s trust issues towards Mark had almost completely disappeared, but reading fan fictions had become a habit. Worryingly, Yuta didn’t have enough fingers to count the amount of times he had neglected sleeping to finish a particularly good book, even though when he’d look at Mark the next day, he’d feel lots of shame. Granted, less shame than when Mark found out that Yuta had taken some of Mark’s selfies to use them as both his home and lock screen, that was a bad day. Mark wasn’t even mad nor was he disgusted, just slightly confused. See, Yuta had downloaded these selfies off twitter and hadn’t just used the ones Mark had taken on Yuta’s phone but if he used personal photos, he wouldn’t be a proper fanboy.

Mark was wearing bunny ears for their VLive and Yuta could die from how cute it was. One ear kept on flopping down and Mark had to keep pushing it out of his way, each time getting a little more frustrated. He even had to bite his fist when he thought the other members weren’t looking because he absolutely needed to hug the younger boy, but the camera prevented this. Their managers were still not pleased with Yuta. Despite being in the same room with Mark while the video was filmed, Yuta still went to watch the video replay,, , holding his NCT light stick,, , while furiously tapping the ‘heart’ button. The strange thing was that in the video, Mark’s gaze always wandered over to Yuta but quickly moved as soon as Yuta would turn. How had he not noticed this before?

Chapter Text

May 2016 - September 2016

The first half of Mark’s 16th birthday wasn’t something Yuta really wanted to remember in the years to come (at least the parts that included Eunji), because his stupid girlfriend decided that she owned him. Who does she think she is? Mark had insisted that everyone should sit down together to eat cake for breakfast, courtesy of Yuta, who ordered an extravagant four tiered chocolate cake just to out do the one from last year. Then they’d watch a film before they went out to play laser tag (another birthday surprise from Yuta, he rented out the whole venue). However, luck was not on their side. Just as the boys got comfortable on the sofa, 8/10 slowly eating their first slice of professionally-baked cake while Mark was on his second and Jungwoo was somehow on his third, Eunji decided to invite herself in. She finished Mark’s plate without asking him, by snatching it straight from him as he was eating and ignoring his look of irritation and disbelief. She then packed some extra slices to take home, again without asking. Not that it wasn’t Mark’s cake or anything,, , but Yuta really felt that it was being wasted on her.

To make things even worse, Eunji decided that actually, Mark shouldn’t be able to choose what he wanted to do on his birthday and dragged him out of the door once she deemed him “instagram worthy”. She managed to ignore Mark’s weak protests and his group’s louder ones, eventually convincing him to put on his shoes and leave. Yuta truly believes that she must be delusional, because anyone with any brain function would be able to see that Mark didn’t want to go hang out with Eunji’s friends at the mall instead of spending the day with his best friends, if his body language and the longing eye connection that the soulmates had were anything to go by.

The dumbfounded boys were just left to gawk at the closed door; a few seconds pass before the room stops being dead silent and they all start talking, at the same time.

“Uhhh”

“What the fuck”

“Yeah, what the fuck just happened?”

“Bitch just took our cake”

“Jungwoo, there is plenty left,, ,”

“Yeah, and? I could have had more”

“She didn’t even ask us if we had any plans?”

“She barely said hello, how rude”

“What are we going to do now?”

“We haven’t given him his presents yet”

“Well, we can’t just do all the things as planned without Mark”

“Do you think he will be back before laser tag?”

“I think I’m going to have another slice of cake?”

“I don’t think Mark’s mum would like her that much”

“Why is he still with her?”

“Exactly, she’s pretty but that’s all she’s got going for her and besides, there are way prettier people out there,, , take Yuta for example”

This snapped Yuta out of his shock. He wasn’t pretty. Firstly, he was handsome. Secondly, all of the others were way prettier than him anyway, so why was Yuta being used as the example? Just look at Winwin, Jungwoo, Doyoung, they immediately come to mind when Yuta hears the word “pretty”. On the other hand, at least in his opinion, Yuta thinks that Mark is the prettiest, cutest and most wonderful human to grace this earth. The others would just have to take second place.

Hours later, in the early evening, Mark returned home. He looked terrible. Since that morning, Yuta had carefully cut up the cake to store the rest of it in the tiny fridge (which was way too small for 10 people to share) and had been waiting in the living room impatiently for his soulmate to return. Everyone else had quickly given up in waiting by lunch time and had also given up at trying to make Yuta do the same. He’d occupied himself with his phone until it died, then he stared at the wall blankly until Haechan pitied him enough to get a charger. It was all worth it to Yuta, because Mark’s face lit up immediately as soon as he saw his hyung waiting for him. At least until his face wasted into a grimace, but joined Yuta on the sofa with a frustrated groan, his body sprawled out and laid his head on the older boy’s lap.

“Hyunggggggg”

“Yes, Markie?”

“I was so bored, I wanted to play laser tag with you guys but I was hoping that Eunji would take me to the arcade to try and make up for it. Of course she didn’t! Why would she bother to pay? It’s only my birthday! We went to lunch which was alright, I suppose but I had to pay! I much prefer eating out with you, hyung. After that, we went to the park which I thought was going to be all cute and romantic, but she brought her friends! I don’t have anything against them, but I hate that she always picks them over me! You get that, right?”

“Yeah I do, but why didn’t you say anything?”

“Well, she would have got mad at me if I did, and I like seeing her happy?”

“That’s nice, but it’s your birthday. What you want matters. If you would rather stay at home, watch a film and go out to play laser tag, then you should. That is nowhere near unreasonable, Eunji doesn’t deserve you putting up with her behaviour…”

Yuta was going to continue his sentence but he noticed that Mark was not paying attention to his advice, yet his eyes were very focused on Yuta’s face. Well, jaw and neck. Uncomfortable, his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, which caused Mark to look away with a faint blush on his cheeks.

“Markie? Is there something wrong? I know you’re not listening”

“Uh, no.” Mark seemed embarrassed that he’d been caught staring.

“Is there something on my face that you’re too polite to tell me about?”

“No, you know I would tell you if there was…”

“…”

“Uhm,, , so what about presents?”

“We didn’t get you anything, well we did, but we thought you weren’t going to come back. So, naturally, we threw them away.”

“Oh okay, wait, you wHAT?” Mark shrieked, his voice breaking a little.

“Hahahaha, nah,, , they’re still on the dining table, right where you left them.”

“OH THANK JESUS”

The boy rolled off Yuta’s lap and rushed to the table where he frantically started ripping open presents. Yuta shifted in his seat a bit so he could get a better view of his baby lion’s excitement, He received an assortment of skin care products, gadgets/bags and vouchers from his other members, but looked confused when he noticed that there was nothing from Yuta.

“Hyung,, , did you forget a gift?”

“Have this, I think you’ll like it.” Yuta handed the boy an envelope, which was torn open aggressively. A learning permit.

“Are you,, serious?” Mark asked cautiously.

“You think I’d joke about this? Ever since I learnt how to drive and became your unpaid chauffeur, you’ve been so excited to be able to do it yourself. Now you can finally learn how to drive!” Yuta said with a laugh.

“OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO LEARN HOW TO DRIVE! THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!”

Mark started blabbering words of appreciation and leaped into Yuta’s arms, wrapping his legs around Yuta’s waist. The older boy stumbled and was completely winded, but he wasn’t about to miss this opportunity. So, he instead settled his arms around Mark to better support him and taking this as an invitation, Mark buried his face in the crook go Yuta’s neck. He might have a heart attack, or lung failure, Yuta didn’t know which but he did know that he could smell Mark’s hair and he thanked whatever god was watching him from above for not letting him collapse right then and there. Miracle.

October 2016 - February 2017

Frustrated, Yuta glared at the television screen. It was eleven at night and Mark still wasn’t home. Unsurprisingly, he was with Eunji but since Mark was the one to go pick her up this time, he didn’t have to see her stupid face. A cheesy romance drama was playing on the screen, and to add another kick to the stomach, the scene where the couple just got together was showing. He decided to just turn off the TV and just glare at the wall instead, jealousy didn’t suit Yuta. Besides, he was so close to throwing the remote at the screen and his salary couldn’t really afford that Eventually, Mark made his way through the front door, looking smaller than usual as he was wearing another one of Yuta’s hoodies. Yuta jumped up and grabbed Mark’s chin, turning his head to inspect him for any injuries. Once he was satisfied, he let Mark sit down, only for the younger boy to get up and retrieve the remote that maybe Yuta had thrown to the other side of the room. Mark shot him a questioning look and sat back down, turning the TV back on to the dreaded romance drama. Yuta would have complained, but Mark seemed to enjoy it, so he kept his mouth shut.

Some time passed, and Mark had been inching closer and closer to Yuta, finally resting his head on his shoulder. Yuta felt his cheeks burn and quickly checked to see if Mark noticed, thankfully, he had not. Neither of them were paying much attention to the television anymore, and Mark seemed to tense up again.

“Hyung?”

“Mhm”

“Eunji is mad at me”

“What? Why?”

“I don’t know anymore! She always seems to be mad at me for some reason now, and I’m starting to think that maybe she shouldn’t be angry at me, nor should she blame me for everything.”

“Wow, who would have thought. Not everything is your fault”

“You’re supposed to be supportive.”

“I am!”

“No you’re not”

“I am. Every time I’ve tried to tell you that maybe she shouldn’t be angry, you still blame yourself. I gave up and I’ve waited ages for you to realise this on your own. Thank god that this day has finally come.”

“You’re a jerk. No, you’re not a jerk. You’re just telling the truth, Eunji is the one who’s in the wrong here. What happened to her? She’s not like she used to be.”

Yuta really tried not to openly express his happiness. After all, Mark and Eunji were still dating and he needed to be respectful but he really wanted to laugh at her, so badly. He’d do it later. Right now, he needed to comfort his soulmate.

“Sometimes people change, Markie. You can’t expect her to be the same person now and when she was 14”

“But she’s my soulmate, I- I love her.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, of course I’m sure she’s my soulmate! If I wasn’t so sure, I wouldn’t put up with her constant text messages, accusing me of cheating, only for her to be a little too touchy with her male friends! I also wouldn’t put up with her talking to me in general, if I’m being honest. It’s becoming such a chore”

“You don’t sound happy to be with her, why do you do this to yourself?”

“Because she’s my soulmate, therefore I love her.” Mark looked less sure of himself now.

“I- okay. I just want you to be happy” Yuta said with a small smile, even though he didn’t feel like smiling.

“Thanks, hyung. I’ll call her later to apologise. Hm, it’s late so I should probably go to sleep, goodnight”

“Goodnight, Markie” Yuta said with a raspy voice.

Mark left the room with a wave and a small blush. Yuta let out a deep breath, conflicted between his happiness for the fact that Mark was realising that Eunji wasn’t good for him and the fact that Mark looked so devastated.

March 2017 - July 2017

Mark’s POV

Mark huffed as he watched Yuta leave the dorms to go to practice at the studio,, , at 12am. He thought that Mark wouldn’t notice, but he did. Of course he would, they’re best friends and he’d already sensed that his hyung was more stressed than usual. To avoid any bad habits coming back, the next evening after dinner, Mark ambushed Yuta and snuck him back into his room. A large pillow fort lay in the centre of the room, filled with pillows (most were taken from the living room, but surprisingly, no one questioned him). Yuta just stared at all the fairy lights and perfectly arrange sheets, with his lips slightly parted. Mark’s eyes flicked between Yuta’s lips and the hair that hung in his eyes. He believed that his hair was one of Yuta’s best features, and it was so much prettier than Eunji’s, not that she had ugly hair, but Yuta’s just made him look like an angel. As embarrassed as he was to admit it, maybe once or twice he had thought about what Yuta’s lips would feel like on his. Mark didn’t think that made him gay though, it was just because him and Yuta were really close.

“…”

“You did a really good job with this, but what’s it for?” Said Yuta, breaking the silence.

“I don’t know, you just looked stressed and I wanted to help you relax a bit,, , do you not like it?”

“No, I love it, Markie”

Fuck. There he went with that nickname again. This should be considered illegal, attempted murder by speeding Mark’s heart up so fast that he became concerned for his life should count. It doesn’t matter that Yuta isn’t aware that it has this effect on him. And his smile. Oh god.”

“Great! Uhm, let’s go in, I have some movies prepared”

“What about snacks?”

“Don’t worry, I didn’t forget about snacks”

“Good”

Mark doesn’t really remember what happened after the second movie that watched, but he did wake up early the next morning to find out that he had been sleeping on Yuta. Not next to him, on him. Well, that was kind of embarrassing, but Yuta’s arm was wrapped around his waist, so he couldn’t have been that uncomfortable.

Chapter Text

Perhaps it was unreasonable and naive for Yuta to hope that Mark would have realised that his stupid girlfriend wasn’t his soulmate, therefore not truly worth his time, as harsh as it sounds. It really seems that Yuta was just far too optimistic, and looking back to a month ago, it was stupid to think that they would have broken up after their fight. Of course they wouldn’t. He’s not that lucky.

This led to Yuta spending the majority of the second of August on the floor of the bathroom. How did he get there? Yuta wasn’t sure. Probably something to do with the two empty bottles of soju on the floor next to him. He glared at them, feeling angrier that even these bottles had a partner. This wasn’t fair and the world was definitely conspiring against him. Mark was a few rooms down from him, with Eunji, having a “sleepover”. Heavy air quotations because the noises he could still hear after a lot of alcohol suggested otherwise. His group members abandoned him, to spend the night at the dreamies’ dorm instead. They didn’t even bother to tell him, well, they had, but they only sent him a text while he was busy buying soju. It’s impossible to check your phone while trying to not look conspicuous and dodgy when you’re trying to buy five bottles of soju at 9pm - by yourself, wearing a mask and hat, in sweatpants and a general aura of ‘I’m trying to get drunk’.

If it was up to him, he’d be out at a bar, looking depressed while the bartender would continuously pour him drinks and when his vision was too hazy to see the liquor stains on the table, he’d stumble home to cry. He’d be in that situation right then if he could. However, it wasn’t up to Yuta because as soon as their manager took one look at him, she refused to let him outside, in fear of embarrassing the company. He couldn’t even go to the dreamies’ dorm if he tried, so due to the lack of other choices, Yuta returned to the bathroom to avoid further human interactions and to try and forget his feelings.

It was almost midnight now, and more of his soju was gone. Briefly wondering where it had all gone, did he spill it, drink it or was it stolen? It might have been stolen from him. The door was locked, so this thief must have crawled in through the window of their tenth floor apartment. His drunken thoughts were interrupted by his stomach rumbling. When had he last eaten? Probably sometime late last night. The manager had long since gone home and the noises had stopped so Yuta thought he could venture out into the kitchen to get some food.

Yuta stumbled down the hallway, and with each heavy step he questioned why Mark would date that awful girl. Cleary he hadn’t had enough alcohol to force him to forget about his issues, so he took a few more gulps of soju, this made his head hurt. He also felt hot. To verify this, Yuta brought a hand to his face - unfortunately it was the one that was holding his precious bottle, it was definitely flushed,, , and while doing this, he’d poured whatever was left onto his shirt. Brilliant. This is what he wanted. He didn’t need a shirt anyway, he was too hot (in both ways, pity that Mark was blind). Clumsily, he ditched his shirt and left it in the hallway,, , he’d probably get it later.

Eventually, Yuta made it to the kitchen. He threw his empty bottle in the recycling bin, the ones still in the bathroom would have to wait until tomorrow. His stomach growled again. Scanning the room around him, a half empty jar of jam called to him. Jam on toast it is then. After the bread finished toasting an there was already a bit of jam on the toast, Yuta decided that it needed butter too, so he walked straight at the fridge and unfortunately didn't stop before his face collided with the door. Disoriented, Yuta gripped the fridge's handle while blinking to try and get rid of the throbbing in his head. He pulled. Nothing happened. Was it locked? How did Taeyong manage to lock the fridge and more importantly, why would he? Whatever, he didn't want the stupid butter anyway.

Yuta fumbled with the simple task of making toast for another five minutes before he got to sit at the island table. Even his pieces of toast had a partner, everyone else but Yuta, apparently. The toast had betrayed him just like his soju. Fuck. There was also a rather pretty vase of flowers on the table - given to them at a recent awards show - however since their manager had tasked them to water it themselves,, , they were already wilting. Yuta was chewing so slowly; he was concentrating on which flowers were wilting faster than then others.

He was so focused on the flowers in front of him that he didn't notice Eunji come in. She seemed to either not have noticed Yuta or she was ignoring him on purpose. Yuta only cared enough to acknowledge her existence once she’d opened the fridge door with ease, pulling out a bottle of water. How did she do that? He thought the door was locked? His glare seemed to make her uncomfortable, she shifted on her feet, desperately trying to find an excuse for leaving without being incredibly rude.

She looks up, ready to state her excuse, even going as far as to open her mouth, until she noticed the soulmate mark on Yuta’s chest where she became completely lost for words again. She gaped for a while, just opening and closing her mouth for a while. Finally, with her mind made up and a sinister grin stretched across her face, she narrowed her eyes at Yuta.

“So Yuta, Mark is your soulmate?”

Crap. Yuta began to say every curse word he knew in his head, Japanese, Korean and even some Chinese and English ones too. How could he be so careless? Of course someone was going to see it, he wasn’t wearing a shirt. A figurative bucket of ice water had been dumped on him and he was almost completely sober now. He was frozen, and very unwilling to say anything; he stared at her with a mortified expression.

“HAHAHAHAHAHAAHH! I’m sorry to say this but Mark isn’t gay.” She sneered.

“…”

“Did you really have any hope that he would like you back? That’s pathetic” She continued to laugh cruelly at him.

Yuta didn't need, ask or want that reminder. He knew that already, he wasn’t stupid. Mark was obsessed with this girl - for whatever reason - and even though they were soulmates, he would never love Yuta the way he loved Eunji. She was confident in that too.

“Look, I’m feeling merciful today, since Mark and I just had so much fun…”

She really did take the time to rub it in, didn't she? Bitch.

“… I won’t tell Mark…”

Oh thank god. Perhaps his first evaluation of her was true, maybe she wasn’t completely awful and he’d misjudged he because of his crippling jealousy.

“… unless you don’t stay away from him”

He spoke too soon. She was basically evil. What the hell was wrong with her? She even had this sadistic smile on her face; she was enjoying this.

“I’m sorry,, , what?”

“It really would be such a pity if you had to lose your best friend over this, hm?”

“…”

“Right. I’m going to cut the crap. Stay. Away. From. My. Boyfriend. Or I will have to tell him that you’re in love with him and then he’s going to hate you. He will never love you. Distance yourself or lose him forever, it’s your choice.”

After finishing her sentence, she picked up her glass of water from the countertop and exited the room, but not before sending one last cocky smile over her shoulder. Yuta dropped to his knees and let out a choked sob.

Chapter Text

Mark’s POV

Mark couldn’t believe it. He really thought that Yuta had been feeling better, but ever since his birthday, his best friend had been distant. He wasn’t outwardly being avoided, he just got the sense that Yuta didn't really want to be around him anymore. For example, Yuta was never in the living room when Mark got home from school anymore, he found any excuse to leave a conversation that involved Mark and never entered Mark’s room for cuddles anymore. While Yuta didn’t leave when Mark tired to ask what was wrong or if he was feeling okay, he never answered the question properly and never quite looked at Mark in the eye. He was always focused on something else, distancing himself in a way.

Furthermore, when they happened to be in the same room by chance (usually dinner time, when Yuta couldn’t feasibly escape), Yuta had an air of resentment and sadness surrounding him. Mark discovered that the amount of glares he received from Yuta rose dramatically when he was on he phone to Eunji. Speaking of his girlfriend, there was something odd going on with her too. She was so smug whenever she came around to the dorms now. To Mark, it seemed like Yuta and Eunji had got into a fight where she won; if she saw Yuta she’d glare at him, daring him to fight back. Yuta would glare right back at her - with a ferocity that if looks could kill, she’d be on the floor - but wouldn’t challenge her any further. He would only turn away and left the room if he could.

It was too much of a coincidence that Eunji’s and Yuta’s behaviour both changed at the same time on the same day, which led Mark to believe that Eunji was the one who was making Yuta miserable. It was all so confusing. On his birthday, very late at night, he’d woken up to a muffled argument happening in the kitchen and a few moments later, Eunji walked back into the room holding a glass of water; she wore the most victorious smile he’d ever seen. At the time, he’d dismissed it, but he realised that it was most likely Eunji and Yuta in the kitchen. What the fuck did she do to his best friend?

Side note, Eunji’s moans were weird, like, they were so high pitched?

ʸᵘᵗᵃ ʷᵒᵘˡᵈⁿ'ᵗ ᵐᵒᵃⁿ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ᵗʰᵃᵗ

…

Moving on.

Unsurprisingly, when Mark suggested in the kindest, nicest and least accusatory way possible that she could be the reason that he and his best friend weren’t on the best of terms at the moment, she flipped out: she swore at him, left him at the restaurant with the bill, cried and ignored him until he apologised. Mark decided that he would rather not go through that experience again, so he left her alone. He needed that break.

Mark instead wanted to fix things with his best friend because he really badly wanted cuddles,, , and he hated being the big spoon. Yuta was always the best big spoon: he was so warm and so clingy. Well at least he used to be. Screw it. If Yuta can be clingy and extra all the time, then so can he. Yuta may be a little irritated with him, but Mark is determined to get Yuta to love him again.

Yuta’s POV

It was going fine. It really was. If Yuta wasn’t around Mark, then he wouldn’t be as tempted by him. Mark, on the other hand, clearly had different plans. It had only been a couple weeks since Yuta had to start distancing himself, in fear of his secret being revealed. He was so stupid, how could he let that whole thing happen? He shouldn’t drink ever again. They wouldn’t be in this mess if he decided to keep his shirt on. He’d also be able to freely hate Eunji without worrying about pissing her off too much (and then causing her to ruin his life).

Mark was being super clingy now. Instead of getting the hint, Yuta found that Mark was just making up for how affectionate he usually was. This included:
sitting next to Yuta at every meal time
finding where Yuta was in the dorm and just sat with him, holding onto his arm
whenever Yuta tried to leave the room, Mark would grab his leg and wrap around it like a koala until he was sure that Yuta would stay
bringing Yuta snacks at random times
alerting Yuta that it was time to have dinner by bursting into his room and jumping on top of the older boy
asking Yuta to help him with his homework, even if he clearly didn't need it (seriously, who needs help colouring in a biology diagram) but who was he to refuse?
hugs, lots of hugs

Yuta would be lying if he wasn’t a bit more in love with Mark because of it. He is clearly trying to fix their relationship but he can’t say anything; if they were to spend time together then Mark would surely tell Eunji about it. That would be disastrous. His resolve was quickly crumbling though - every time Mark looked up at him with a heartbroken expression when Yuta didn't return one of his hugs, he wanted to give in and shower his soulmate with love and affection again.

A week later, Yuta is lying in bed scrolling through his favourite app ~wattpad~ and reading his favourite fanfiction ship, Yumark. At this point, Yuta felt like he needed wattpad more than he needed food, and reading about the (unfortunately) fictional perfect relationship between him and Mark was second only to the real thing. He’d just found this really good one and while he was reading the first chapter, Mark flings the door open and jumps on top of him. Out of reflex, he shut his phone off immediately.

“hyuNG!”

“…”

“ITS TIME FOR DINNER! TAEYONG IS COOKING TODAY!”

“…”

Yuta noticed that Mark’s smile faltered a little bit when his enthusiasm was only met with silence, but he continued anyway.

“Please? Aren’t you hungry?”

“…”

“I’m cold”

“Me too”

Suddenly, a rush of cold air met Yuta’s previously warm body. Mark had lifted the covers and then crawled into bed with him. Frick. He was wearing one of Yuta’s hoodies again. He knew exactly what he was doing.

“I’m not cold anymore,, , it’s weird how cold it is for late August”

“mhm”

Mark snuggles closer to Yuta, maintaining eye contact and holds his hand. Not surprisingly, Yuta’s brain short-circuits and his instincts tell him to pull Mark’s head into his chest. Mark seemed so surprised that he almost fell off the bed, but since Yuta was holding him, he remained exactly where he was and felt Mark smile into his chest. Mark’s arms hesitantly wrap around Yuta, and he only holds the small boy tighter in response. He missed this. Screw Mark’s awful girlfriend. Besides, he was sure that Mark had worked out that he’d argued with Eunji and would be smart enough to not talk to her about Yuta anymore.

They ended up peacefully falling asleep, Yuta’s head resting on top of Mark’s and their legs tangled together. Half an hour later, Taeyong came in to get angry at the two boys but as soon as he saw them, his anger dissipated and a proud smile appeared on his face. Deciding that dinner wasn’t worth ruining their moment, he exited the room, shutting the door as quietly as he could behind him. Being the responsible mother that he is, he packed up the leftovers for the two boys and told the other members to be mindful of their favourite couple.

Chapter Text

As Halloween rolled around, Yuta’s mum was nagging him near constantly visit her and if possible to “bring your cute little soulmate, because I want to meet my future son in law”, ignoring the fact that she has met Mark on multiple previous occasions. While Yuta couldn’t be more grateful that his mum was supportive and didn't care that he is gay, it was actually quite concerning how much she wanted him and Mark to start dating. Every phone call he got from her would be the same:

“Hi Mum”

“Hello sweetie,, , so,, , when are you coming to visit?”

“I don’t know, maybe this Halloween? The managers said we could have a long weekend break, if I flew out on Saturday then I could stay the weekend with you guys and then be back on Monday,, ,?”

“Great! I’ll book the tickets now!”

“nO! I said maybe!”

“Hm? Sorry? I wasn’t listening,, , how old is Mark? I’m pretty sure he’s seventeen, so he’ll need an adult return ticket too,, , that’s two adult tickets. What class do you want to fly?”

“Mum! When did I say I was going to bring Mark?”

“Technically, you just did and besides, I don't need your permission. I will repeat my question, what class do you want to fly?”

“…”

“Fine. Well you're trying to impress him, so not economy,, , but you wouldn’t want to show off too much by flying first class. I’ll book you both business class tickets, so you can show that you can provide for him”

“You’re thinking into this too deeply,, , but what if he doesn’t want to come?” Yuta whined.

“Awwwww, you sound so worried. Your father was exactly the same way, bless him. I’m sure he will, but you won’t know for sure until you ask, correct?”

“I suppose”

“Go ask him now and then call me back immediately after”

Predictably, Mark had immediately agreed and so that was how they would up on a plane, in business class on Japan Airlines, heading towards Yuta’s childhood home. While Yuta was in deep thought on how he was going to deflect his mother’s attempts at playing matchmaker, the plane had started to take off. Mark had frozen in his seat and breathed more heavily. To comfort the poor boy, Yuta held his hand and squeezed. This helped calm down Mark’s anxiety, and as soon as the plane levelled out, he calmed down. They were still holding hands though, Mark’s hand was so small in comparison that it would be a crime to let go and the blush that was dusted across his cheeks was adorable; Yuta wanted to keep that blush there for as long as possible.

Upon arrival at the airport, the two boys found Yuta’s mum waiting for them with a large sign that read “YUMARK” with pink hearts surrounding it. Mark was looking around, as he hadn’t noticed the horrifically noticeable sign ten metres away from them so Yuta grabbed his hand again and began trying to walk past his embarrassing mother. Unfortunately, he had no such luck. She picked them out of the crowd easily, then she started waving at them - ruining Yuta’s chances of pretending not to know her. Yuta wanted to turn around, walk back to the plane and throw himself into one of the engines.

Mark had seen the sign, how could he not? It was covered in glitter. He still waved back at Mrs Nakamoto, but not before pulling his hand away from Yuta’s, and blushed very strongly.

“Welcome home, son!” She grinned.

“Thanks, it’s good to be back-“

“I wasn’t talking to you.”

“Huh?”

“I was talking to our guest.”

“Oh”

Mark spoke up:

“Hello, Mrs Nakamoto, it’s lovely to see you again”

“Stop with the formalities, call me Mum”

“Uhm okay”

Yuta wanted to cry, she was going to blow his cover,, , Mark was definitely going to suspect something if she started treating him like her son. Oh how he wished that he’d refused to go back to Japan.

“So, Mum, where is dad?”

“He’s waiting in the car, he said that he didn't want to be seen with me if I was holding tHaT AbOmiNaTiOn” She huffed while gesturing to the Yumark sign.

“I can see why, it’s quite,, , eye-catching”

“You just don't know art when you see it. Besides your two names squished together world so well? Yumark. It sounds great.” Mrs Nakamoto said this with a smile, but her voice had a slight tone which suggested Yuta would regret it if he disagreed with her, so he kept his mouth shut.

“Alright, let’s go”

The ride home was mostly silent, with occasional small talk. When they arrived home, Mr Nakamoto left to go sit in the living room while Mrs Nakamoto enthusiastically explained the sleeping arrangements:

“Okay so,, , you’re going to both share Yuta’s room!”

“But, we have a guest room?”

“… it’s being renovated and is full of boxes”

“It is?”

“Uhm, yes.” She narrowed her eyes at her son.

“Oh, don't worry about it Mrs Naka- Mum, I'm happy to share a room with Yuta, thank you for letting me stay with you!” Mark spoke up with a small smile.

“Awww, you're so cute and polite! It’s a pleasure to have you, and I’ll get some spare blankets!”

The slightly obsessed lady left the room, satisfied that her plan had worked. Yuta, on the other hand, was not quite so impressed. He let out a deep sigh and ran a hand through his hair. Once he’d opened his eyes again, Mark was staring at him. Not in a bad way, but like he was in awe?

“Are you feeling okay?”

“H-huh? Oh uh, yeah. I feel fine”

“You sure? I can go sleep in the living room if you want this room to yourself”

“NO! I don't mind sharing a room with you hyung, we’ve done it plenty of times before”

“I guess you're right”

“I know I am, off topic, but is there any way I could have a shower?”

“Yeah, I’ll get you a towel and the bathroom is down the hall and to the left.”

“Thanks, hyung”

Yuta and Mark took turns to shower; the situation seemed a little bit more intimate now since there is no threat of another group member bursting in. The heavy silence in the room was disrupted by the occasional clash of a pan from the kitchen downstairs. They stared at each other, blushing, their wet hair causing water to run down their faces and bodies. Waking up, Yuta gripped the towel around his waist harder, also making sure that the T-shirt he was wearing earlier was still covering his soulmate mark (Mark was still transfixed by the water droplets on Yuta’s abs so he didn’t notice the clumsy way Yuta covered his tattoo) and retreated back into the bathroom after getting some clothes to change into. When the distraction had left, Mark also started to get dressed, with the lingering thought of Yuta’s naked torso in the front of his mind.

Once they were both decent, they went on their phones and Yuta was trying not to be hyper aware of every movement that Mark made.

Soon after, the boys were called downstairs for dinner. Getting out of bed, they shuffled towards the door and Yuta blushed when their hands brushed together as they reached for the doorhandles at the same time. Yuta let Mark go first, like the true gentleman he is, and as a reward, Mark gives him a wide smile. His heart may have skipped a couple of beats.

Yuta takes a quick second to hold his heart, to make sure it wasn’t beating too fast when he went into the kitchen, because his mum would definitely know something was up and wouldn’t hesitate to start teasing him. Mark was already setting up the table, humming a small tune, as he walked in. Mrs Nakamoto spotted him and whispered in his ear:

“Yuta! You better keep this boy,, , I would have accepted him no matter what seeing as he’s your soulmate but he offered to set up the table for me! Do you have any idea how cute that is? If you're going to let Mark get away,, , then so help me,, , I will keep him here myself!”

“Mum,, , that’s kidnapping,, ,”

“Just look at him. His face screams ‘adopt me’,, , who am I to deny that?”

“He’s got a really nice family, he doesn't need adopting”

“Shut up, his little face is so precious,, , I want to give him a hug”

“Right. I'm going to help Mark and then we’re going to eat dinner”

It seems that Mark was almost as endearing to Yuta’s mum as he was to Yuta. Almost, because no one could be as obsessed with Mark as Yuta. The Canadian boy was the centre of attention throughout the meal. He politely answered all of Mrs Nakamoto’s questions and told some stories about his younger years to help her get to know him better. Unfortunately, the subject of Eunji came up and after dinner, Mrs Nakamoto sent Mark back to Yuta’s room saying that “you helped set up the table, so my son can help pack everything away” and interrogated Yuta while he was trying to wash the dishes.

“What was that all about?”

“What?”

“Don't play stupid! Mark, your soulmate, has a girlfriend, and you didn’t think to tell me sooner?”

“Unfortunately, yes”

“How did you even let that happen?”

“Well it’s not like I can tell him that we’re soulmates”

“Why not?”

“Because he’s straight, hence the girlfriend thing. He will hate me when he finds out, so I’d rather that day not be anytime soon.”

“Sweetie, I love you so much, but don't you think you're being a bit foolish? Even if he is as straight as he likes to think, you're soulmates. You only get one soulmate. Meaning, whether he likes it or not, he’s stuck with you, and I mean that in the best way possible.”

“Is there any way for that to be a positive thing for me?”

“Yes, and I’m saying this because I want you to be happy. Besides, you’re also best friends and he clearly cares about you, there is no way he could hate you.”

Yuta was finished with the dishes and as he finished drying the last one, Mrs Nakamoto gives him a comforting hug.

“Look, I know you don't want to believe me, but I think things will work out between the two of you. However, in order for that to happen, you're going to need to do something, try confessing and telling him you're soulmates?”

“…”

“I’ll let you get back to him okay,, , goodnight, I love you”

“I love you too, I’m lucky to have you”

Mrs Nakamoto smiles warmly at him but Yuta still bolts out of the kitchen as soon as she releases him from her hug. He really wanted to take her advice on this, but he couldn’t. It was easy enough for her to say these things, his parents had huge crushes on each other in high school and as soon as his dad turned eighteen, she was his soulmate. This gave him a huge boost of confidence, so he asked her out, she said yes and the rest is history. There were no complications of sexuality and fame in the way.

Yuta rested his head against the door after getting back to his and Mark’s shared room.

“Yuta?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Markie”

“You're clearly not, but okay. What were you talking about?”

“Nothing, don't worry about it”

“…”

“Want to watch a movie instead?”

“Yeah sure”

The next morning, it was clear that nothing had changed between the two boys and Mrs Nakamoto was less than pleased with her son. She sent a mix of glares and worried looks to Yuta throughout breakfast, silently questioning why he hadn’t done anything to fix his problems. As revenge, she “suggested” that Yuta take Mark out sightseeing, exclusively to the romantic places in Osaka. It wasn’t even a suggestion, it was pretty much a command. Usually, Yuta listens to his mum, but he was feeling rebellious, so he just took Mark to his favourite restaurant and the aquarium. He seemed to enjoy it - he even posted a picture of them together on his instagram. Take that, Eunji.

The Nakamotos and Mark went out for dinner at a fancy restaurant before leaving to the airport, saying that Mark had to experience the best while he was here, especially because he was only visiting for a short time. At the departure gate, Yuta’s parents waved them goodbye, but not before embarrassing them by showering them with hugs and kisses.

“Bye kids!” Mrs Nakamoto waved, she’d also brought her Yumark sign.

“Yes, goodbye, we look forward to seeing you again” Mr Nakamoto said, rather formally. He wasn’t the most talkative.

“Bye Mum and Dad, I’ll miss you”

“Thank you again for having me, I had a wonderful time” Mark said gratefully, with a small bow.

“It was our pleasure, but you're going to have to get used to it. After all, you will be visiting much more in the future, seeing as you’ll officially be a part of the family”

“Huh?” Said Mark. The poor boy didn't even have time to process this before Yuta pulled him through the gate and out of hearing distance from his mother, who seemed intent on exposing him.

Chapter Text

Mark and Yuta were cuddling on the sofa. Well Mark was lying with his head in Yuta’s lap - who was watching the television, while Mark was concentrating on his phone. The smaller boy had his brows furrowed and seemed to be stressed so Yuta was threading his fingers through Mark’s hair to relieve some of the tension. It didn't seem to be helping much, even if Mark leant into his touch.

“Hyung?”

“Mhm”

“Eunji, she’s coming over soon”

Yuta tensed. “What? Why?”

“I dunno, she just told me and said we were having a sleepover here?”

“She invited herself over?”

“I guess?”

“Alright, it’s not like I can stop her. When does she get here?”

“She didn't say, I assume it’s sometime later though, since she just texted me”

“Okay”

With the reassurance that Eunji wouldn’t be coming over soon, he put his arm back around Mark, pulled his eyes away from Mark’s face and back onto the TV. Unfortunately, not even five minutes later, Eunji strutted into the room with too much confidence. She glared at Yuta and immediately noticed that he was not distanced from Mark in the slightest. However, she decided not to make a scene at that moment.

“Hi babe”

“Uhm, hello”

“Aren’t you happy to see me?”

“,, , Yes, but I didn't think you’d be coming over so soon?”

“I thought you’d want to spend more time with me. What, do you have something to hide?”

“No of course not,, , babe”

“Good. Now, let’s go back to your room”

“,, , okay”

Yuta watched as Mark wearily got off his lap and followed Eunji back to his room but he smiled a little when Mark mumbled a quick apology to Yuta. Well, since he didn't have anything to do, he packed up his stuff, so he could go work out for a couple hours to avoid listening to anything unnecessary. He wasn’t in a drinking mood and he’d learnt his lesson from last time.

It was hours later, at around nine in the evening when Yuta re-entered the dorm; he entered the kitchen to get a drink of water, he was exhausted. The sweat made his shirt cling to his back but he was far too tired to change, even if it would bring him more comfort. Also, once he’d sat down, he knew it would take a lot of effort to get up again.

When Eunji also came into the kitchen, he was thankful that at least this time he was wearing a shirt, and Yuta had a sneaking suspicion that she was waiting for him to come back, listening to hear then the front door opened. She took her time moving around, getting a glass and filling it with water which gave him an unpleasant feeling of déjà vu washed over him. Smirking, Eunji let Yuta waste away in the agonising silence for a few more moments, sipping her water and Yuta knew she was enjoying his discomfort. Finally, she spoke.

“You didn't listen to me, did you?”

“I don't know what you're talking about”

She narrowed her eyes. “You know exactly what I'm talking about, don't pretend to be clueless”

“I'm sorry, but I still have no clue?” Yuta said nervously, cursing himself for phrasing what should have been a statement as a question.

“I told you to stay away from Mark”

“…”

“I told you to stay the fuck away from him, and what do you do? The exact opposite. I come over, to visit MY boyfriend, and I see you cuddling on the sofa,, , what kind of distancing is that supposed to be?”

“I'm going to be honest, I did try and stay away from him but he became super clingy,, , so I gave up” He said with a small shrug.

She glared at him.

“Why do you care so much anyway? He loves you and doesn't see me that way, you have nothing to fear?”

“Because you're stealing all his time, he talks about you way too much and lately he’s made excuses to hang out with you instead, don't think I don't know”

“Oopsie? I’m sorry to hear that, but that’s not my fault,, , technically it’s Mark’s”

“BUT HE WOULDN’T BE THIS WAY IF YOU LISTENED TO ME”

“Were you not listening? I tried!”

“WELL YOU SHOULD HAVE TRIED HARDER”

“What did you want me to do? Have you ever tried ignoring Mark? Of course not, you're an attention hoarder”

“EXCUSE ME?”

“Look, I don't really feel like fighting,, ,I’ve had a long day and you’re kind of giving me a headache. Fuck I need a drink.” Yuta sighed, he felt an odd mix of terrified and exhausted (it was just so much effort to talk to this girl) “You don't have anything to worry about, Mark doesn't like me like that.”

“I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO WORRY ABOUT, BUT YOU DO! JUST WAIT UNTIL I TELL MARK ABOUT YOUR SECRET!”

“… please… don’t”

“JUST YOU WAIT! YOU DESERVE THIS FOR NOT LISTENING TO ME!”

At that moment, Mark poked his head through the archway into the kitchen; he seemed to be both threatened and curious at the rising argument going on. Yuta cringed, from an outside perspective, it sounded completely irrational. Who was he kidding, Eunji is batshit crazy,, , a demand like this was insane. Who asks someone to completely ghost their best friend because they feel insecure? He wasn’t going to say that to her though, she was already about to tell Mark about the soulmate tattoos, he doesn't need it to be any worse.

“…”

“…”

“Hi, guys” Mark clearly sensed the tension in the air.

“Hi,, , babe,, , what are you doing here?”

She had clearly not meant for Mark to catch her sounding like the one in the wrong. Yuta could practically see the gears turning in her head, trying to find a way to blame this on him instead.

Mark raised an eyebrow. “I live here? You’ve also been gone for twenty minutes, no one takes that long to fetch a glass of water and once I heard a violent argument happening, I decided to check it out. So Yuta, Eunji, what’s going on?”

“Well, babe, you see,, , we weren’t arguing,, ,? Right, Yuta?” She fluttered her eyelashes at him.

“…” Yuta chose to say absolutely nothing.

“Yeah, no. Eunji, I really thought you’d tell me the truth. How soundproof did you think these walls were? You're so lucky that everyone else is out for dinner. From what I’ve heard, you tried to get Yuta to stop being friends with me for a reason you haven’t said yet?”

“…”

When Eunji said nothing, Mark turned to Yuta and saw his terror-stricken face, his shaking body and concluded that Yuta was not the one in the wrong. This only served to piss Mark off.

“Eunji,, , what do you think you're doing? What have you done to Yuta? What did you blackmail him with? I- I didn't think you were capable of doing such a thing.”

“I WAS TRYING TO PROTECT YOU!”

“,, , what?”

“I WAS TRYING TO PROTECT YOU FROM THIS DISGUSTING EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING!”

“Don't you dare call Yuta disgusting, what is going on with you?”

“HE IS THOUGH! CAN’T YOU SEE IT? IT’S ALL AN ACT, HE’S THE ONE WHO IS BLACKMAILING ME!”

“I- I don't think I can believe you. I admit, he’s not your biggest fan, but he wouldn’t try and you, or anyone else on purpose. Besides, you were clearly the one who was blackmailing him. You threaten to tell me about his ‘secret’ if he didn't distance himself. If that’s not blackmail, then I don't know what is. On top of all that, he’s scared of you and avoids you at all costs - its been like this for a while - which makes me think you’ve been holding this over his head for more than twenty minutes.”

“THAT’S JUST WHAT HE WANTS YOU TO THINK - HE’S MANIPULATIVE AND EVIL”

“No. No he’s not. He’s one of the most genuinely nice people I’ve ever met and he’s never done anything to make me doubt him, but you have. I think you should go get your stuff and leave, I need some time to think”

At the thought of losing her famous boyfriend, whether it was permanent or not, she became furious. She lunged at Yuta, and backhanded him straight across the face. Yuta brought a hand to his cheek, eyes wide and took a step backwards. He wasn’t about to assault her in return, but he didn't want to be hit again.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, why would you hit him? You know what? I'm done. Get the fuck out and don't come back. We’re over.”

“EXCUSE ME? THIS IS ALL HIS FAULT!” She screamed while gesturing wildly at Yuta, who was still shaking, but Mark held his hand as an act of comfort. “HE THINKS HE CAN STEAL YOU FROM ME JUST BECAUSE HE’S YOUR SOULMATE! THERE, THAT’S HIS SECRET THAT HE DIDN’T WANT YOU TO KNOW! I’M YOUR FUCKING GIRLFRIEND AND I’M WAY HOTTER THAN HE IS! WHY ARE YOU TAKING HIS SIDE?”

“I don't want to repeat myself again, so listen closely. Get. Out. Get out before I call security and/or the police, losing whatever respect I have for you. Don't bother about your stuff, I’ll have it sent to your house by tomorrow.”

“FUCK YOU! I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY NOW, YUTA!” She grabbed her phone and left, slamming the door violently behind her.

He wasn’t happy now, she’d completely exposed him. At least she was gone now. Mark also took a shuddering breath.

“Hyung?”

“Y-yeah?”

“Is it bad that I feel relief more than any other emotion right now? I think I’ve been wanting to confront her about this for a while, and I don't really feel the same way as I used to.”

“N-no.”

“Are you feeling okay, hyung? I don't mean to force all my relationship problems on you, it’s just that you were already here, and you watched it happen-“

“I- it’s not that”

“Is this about the soulmate mark thing? Yeah, I know that’s not true, don’t worry about it. You’d have told me if you were. God, she really is awful, huh?” Mark said this with a small smile.

“,, , Haha, yeah,, , at least you're not together anymore” Yuta replied.

Hearing that made Mark tense up, the break up finally starting to set in. He slowly let go of Yuta’s hand, after giving it one last reassuring squeeze, and retreated back into his room - leaving Yuta alone staring after his soulmate, amazed that Mark hadn’t questioned him further.

Chapter Text

Around forty-five minutes after Mark left, Yuta finished processing what just happened. Before he went to go see how Mark was feeling (because there was no way he was feeling good after such an explosive break up), he let himself smile. Things could have gone so much worse, Eunji’s whole plan ultimately failed and he could finally relax. Thoughts about how much he used to live in fear of her ran through his mind, she used to hold what felt like his entire life over him, and now he was finally free.

Before he could go comfort his poor soulmate, he needed to look less giddy with excitement and more solemn, but it was just so hard. The simple sentence: “she’s finally gone” kept on repeating over and over in his head. It only took three years, a mental breakdown on Yuta’s part and a violent argument for Mark to finally end things. He’d be more annoyed that Mark had been so dense for so long, but Mark had been so confident and had really spoken his mind during the argument that he was willing to look past it.

After taking another five minutes to calm down, Yuta quietly made his way into Mark’s bedroom expecting to hear crying, but he was met with only silence. Eunji’s belongings had been haphazardly flung to the corners of the room. Any anger the Canadian boy had towards his ex girlfriend seemed to have died down for the moment, and he was lying motionless in bed staring (blankly) at the wall. Yuta’s heart wrenched for him. He felt selfish for ultimately being happy that his soulmate just experienced a break up, seeing that Mark being single was in his best interests and that it had taken him almost an hour to get to the point where he was ready to be supportive.

If Mark had noticed Yuta come in, he didn't say anything, so Yuta took this as permission to stay. He gently lifted the covers and crawled into bed with Mark. The small boy’s body radiated warmth, a welcome change from the cold weather and Yuta shivered form the sudden change. Mark stayed silent and it didn't feel awkward per say, but it felt like there was something missing. So in response to this, Yuta pulled his soulmate closer by the waist until his chest was up against Mark’s back. It was Mark’s turn to shiver, though Yuta wasn’t sure why,, , until Mark snuggled even closer, pressing his hips into Yuta’s and tangling their legs together - seeking comfort. Yuta’s breath hitched, there was no way that Mark didn't know that his ass was directly on his dick. Silently, he started to pray that Mark wouldn’t move much.

Yuta pressed his face into the crook of Mark’s neck trying to reassure him which seemed to help, until Mark let out a melancholic sigh. Yuta removed his hand from Mark’s waist, feeling discouraged, but instead brought it up to the younger boy’s shoulder, tentatively urging him to turn around to face him. Mark got the hint and rolled over, the blankets shifting around them enough to let in a flood of cold air. Neither Yuta nor Mark said anything about the sudden, unwelcome, change in temperature but they did move even closer together, just so their foreheads were touching affectionately and Yuta’s large hand was naturally resting on Mark’s hip.

“Markie…” Yuta began with a degree of uncertainty and caution.

“Yeah?” Mark breathed out.

“How are you feeling?”

“Not brilliant” a bitter laugh escaped from his lips.

“I wasn’t expecting you to, but I was wondering…”

“What?”

Yuta hesitated.

“You know that you and Eunji aren’t soulmates, right?”

“Yeah,, , I kind of got that from the verbal abuse she seemed disgustingly comfortable to hurl at you,, , I don't think I could manage to stay in a relationship with someone who treats other people that poorly.”

“I’m just surprised that you didn't notice sooner, she didn't hide it very well”

“Why didn't you tell me?”

“Because you would have got really annoyed at me?”

“No I wouldn’t!”

Yuta snorted. “Do you really believe that?”

“… I suppose not. I just feel sad that you didn't feel like you could talk to me”

“I didn't want to burden you with my problems”

“My ex girlfriend harassing you out of jealousy is a problem you should absolutely burden me with, I could have talked to her at the very least”

“Yeah but you seemed to love her so much,, , I didn't want to get in the way of that”

“I’ve come to realise that I value your friendship more than her relationship”

“Good. How do you feel about her?”

“Well, I’ve been coming to terms with the idea that she may not be as nice of a person as I thought for a while,, , so that wasn’t too shocking. I hate her, but at the same time I feel absolutely nothing at all. I just don't want to see her ever again.”

“Good thing you're getting someone else to return her stuff then?”

“Haha yeah” Mark chuckled softly.

“If you're not too upset, then that means you’ll be okay?”

Mark broke Yuta’s intense stare and avoided eye contact, instead focusing on Yuta’s lips. Yuta noticed, licking his lips because he thought that Mark had noticed something there and felt a little self conscious.

“Yeah,, , I guess”

“I'm glad, she’s not worth you being heartbroken over”

“I think it will still take time though”

“Of course it will, you were dating for like three years”

Mark pulled a face. “Don’t remind me”

“Sorry, Markie” Yuta smiled earnestly.

“You're not going to leave me now that you’ve successfully comforted me, are you?” Mark sounded embarrassed that he wanted Yuta to stay, embarrassed that his voice had come out so small and unsure when he’d said it.

“No of course not, unless you ask me to leave, I’ll stay. I promise to always be there for you, as long as you’ll have me.”

That seemed to get rid of whatever anxiety Mark was feeling at that moment. Lazily, the not-so-heartbroken boy moved downwards so his face was in line with Yuta’s chest; Yuta was surprised but was more surprised that moments later, Mark was already in a deep sleep.

A few weeks later

NCT were doing a dorm room change. It had been almost a year since they’d last swapped and Yuta was beyond excited at the idea that he could be sharing a room with Mark, then they wouldn’t have to be quiet when they were talking, as they usually tried to be mindful of their other members’ sleep schedules. Early on a Saturday morning, Taeyong called a meeting and gathered everyone at the dining table - looking way too awake for someone who only had four hours of sleep because of their photoshoot that lasted until two in the morning, Yuta looked at him in envy; he desperately wanted to appear like that too. After seeing that everyone was somewhat awake, the leader cheerily clapped his hands together and started talking.

“Alright kids, let’s begin. This time I thought everyone could choose their roommates instead of picking them from a hat, does anyone have any objections?”

“No” everyone said in unison. Yuta noticed that everyone had perked up a little bit, looking at each other in silent agreement.

“Well, before you tell me who you're choosing,, , I'm going with Jaehyun. If you want him, then you cannot have him.” Taeyong said this in a very serious tone, challenging anyone to disagree and Jaehyun smirked at his possessiveness.

Everyone sat back in a stunned silence, until Doyoung spoke up:

“Can I go with Taeil hyung?”

Taeil smiled “yeah can we go together?”

“Yeah sure” Taeyong responded, glad he wasn’t going to have to start pairing people against their will.

Jungwoo and Johnny looked at each other and nodded.

“Jungwoo and I would like to room together.”

Taeyong tilted his head “I mean okay, why?”

Johnny shrugged and Jungwoo blushed “Our boyfriends don't live here, so it makes sense that we room together. We can take it in turns to have the room, the other will go to their respective boyfriend’s house”

“Lucas kinda didn't want me to share with someone who is single,, , so Johnny makes sense. I thought about deliberately picking someone else to annoy him, but while I find his jealous side endearing, I didn't want him to withhold kisses and-“

“Okay thats enough, I see your point,, , get your stuff and pick room”

Haechan looked at Mark, and raised his hand.

“Taeyong hyung, can I go with Mar-“

“I’m going with Mark.”

“Yuta, I think Haechan was about to go with Mark.”

“I heard. But Mark is mine, so that’s not going to happen”

“Uh, that’s not how it works-”

“It is now. Markie,, , do you want to room with me?”

Mark grinned. “Of course, oppa”

“Okay, that settles it, looks like Haechan and Winwin are sharing” Taeyong said while truing his attention to the final pair.

“Nice! Winwin hyung, I'm probably going to go to the dreamies’ dorm often, do you mind?”

Winwin smiled in return. “Not at all, Haechannie” He was already thinking about the ways he would be able to invite his crush, Kun, over without the other members interrupting.

“Good job guys, go move your stuff and then be ready for the concept briefing of our next album in three hours. Please try and look presentable this time. I don't want to name anyone, but remember, showing up to a formal briefing with the CEO of SM Entertainment in sweatpants, blankets or pyjamas isn’t allowed,, , no matter how early you think it is.” Taeyong sighed, while giving a subtle glare to Johnny, Mark, Jungwoo and Haechan who were pretending to look innocent.

After reluctantly agreeing, everyone dispersed and went about their day.

Later, Yuta and Mark were getting ready for bed. Mark was already underneath the covers while Yuta was washing the last of the makeup off his face, very appreciative that Mark had had the foresight of fighting for one of the rooms that had came with an ensuite.

“Markie~ thanks for getting a room with an ensuite”

“Huh? Oh yeah,, , you're welcome I guess”

“What’s wrong?”

“Not much really, I’m just thinking about Eunji”

“Ew, why?”

“I don't know, I miss her,, , or at least the idea of her” Mark quickly clarified.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I didn't really feel it earlier, because I felt, mostly, anger towards her but for the past few days I’ve been feeling sad that she isn’t my soulmate. She won’t stop calling me, begging me to give her another chance, hyung, and I'm definitely not considering it,, , but I’m still disappointed that she didn't turn out to be who I thought she was. Plus, now I have to wait until I'm eighteen to know who my soulmate is, like everyone else.”

“As long as you don't want her back, all the other feelings are okay, you’ll be fine.”

“I just feel so stupid, I badly want to know who my soulmate is,, , it feels like I’ve been waiting forever. I guess I wanted it so badly that I tricked myself into believing it was her.”

“You're not stupid for wanting a soulmate, Markie, I’m sure they want you just as much”

“You think so?”

“Of course, anyone would be lucky to have you”

“I want it to be my eighteenth birthday right now, I want to meet my other half. Do you think they’re going to be prettier than Eunji? They must be, though it doesn't matter what they look like, as long as they’re kind. Surely the idea of soulmates is so romantic? Anyway, I'm sorry for rambling, thanks for talking to me Yuta oppa, it always makes me feel better.”

Yuta turned off the lights. “Yeah, anytime, I'm glad I can help”

Chapter Text

230 days until Mark’s birthday

Yuta had been waiting for exactly three hours, forty-seven minutes and twelve seconds for Mark to finish his school work. He’d been promised quality time playing video games together, as soon as Mark was done. When Mark had said this, Yuta didn't think he’d take so long. To reiterate, it had been almost four hours. He could have at least been warned, he would have been able to get a full workout in that way. It was so painful,, , he had nothing to do except stare at Mark trying to finish his schooling. Even then, Mark had quickly become uncomfortable so he’d asked Yuta to stop, and he did. For a while, Yuta occupied himself by reading more fanfics but eventually he became too fed up to enjoy the dramatic romance books on Wattpad.

So Yuta got up from his bed and crouched by Mark’s chair and made puppy eyes at him, who upon noticing the Japanese boy’s presence, spared him a quick glance and immediately refocused on his exercise books. Yuta was going to have to try harder. He poked the younger’s cheek, then squished it. Mark still managed to ignore him.

“Your homework looks boring”

“Let’s go play games instead”

“Markie, I know you're busy but I really need some love and attention right now.” Yuta whined.

At Yuta’s last comment, Mark swivelled his chair around (Mark had bought himself a spinning office chair for his room because he liked being able to roll everywhere he wanted) to face Yuta.

“Hyung, you're not a dog.”

“I know I'm not”

“That means you don't need constant love and attention, go ask someone else to play, I’ll join you later”

“But- But everyone else is busy and I do need love and attention from you, because I love you!”

Mark chuckled “I- okay, but I do actually need to finish this later”

“Mhm”

201 days until Mark’s birthday

Yuta was at home, waiting for Mark to get back from the recording studio so they could go to dinner together, when he heard a knock at the door. He momentarily debated ignoring it, reasoning that if it was Mark, he’d use his key and that if it wasn’t Mark, then the person outside the door couldn’t be that important. If they really cared then they’d come back another time. Besides, he was comfy where he was on the sofa.

However, Yuta’s guilt for ignoring some random person who probably didn't deserve it won, so he groaned and started towards the door. He wasn’t even going to bother checking himself in the mirror, he wasn’t trying to impress this random person at the door, his efforts were reserved for Mark alone. Yuta opened the door, a little too aggressively, only to find Mark’s nightmare of an ex girlfriend behind it. His eyes widened in disbelief that she’d have the nerve to come back and then hardened into a harsh glare; he wasn’t going to deal with her bullshit today. Mind made up, he slammed the door in her face as she was about to start talking.

A few moments of silence went by, before she knocked again but this time, Yuta didn’t even consider opening the door.

174 days until Mark’s birthday

February ninth. Johnny’s birthday. They’d set up a small celebration for him before Johnny decided he’d rather go on a date with Ten instead. Yuta was in charge of the music, Haechan and Jungwoo purchased their weight in snacks for the occasion, Jaehyun and Doyoung were in charge of the decorations and Mark was in charge of the cake,, , which turned out to be a terrible idea. Since it was Johnny’s birthday, they’d extended the party invitation to Ten, and therefore everyone else in NCT.

Yuta felt slightly guilty because he hadn’t reminded Mark that Ten was coming, so he couldn’t get a cake that had fruit in it. Too late now though. The lights were off and everyone was sitting at or around the table, singing happy birthday as Mark walked out of the kitchen with a large, mango cake. Mark wasn’t the type to buy a cake that someone wouldn’t be able to eat on purpose, he’d probably just innocently forgot that Ten can’t stand fruits. Time seemed to slow a bit as everyone realised Mark’s unintentional, but slightly clumsy mistake.

Yuta buried his face in his hands, Winwin let in a sharp intake of breath, Taeyong looked disappointed, Jeno, Jaemin and Renjun weren’t quite aware of what was going on, but looked uncomfortable anyway, Taeil was looking away - clearly suffering from second hand embarrassment, Johnny looked at his boyfriend, who was silently fuming. Ten didn't want to make a scene so he said nothing until Jungwoo tried to hand him a slice of cake, then he started talking.

“Mark did you get a mango cake on purpose?” Ten asked cautiously.

“So what if I did” Mark taunts. He was lying, but he didn't want to admit his mistake.

“You bitch!” Ten said indignantly. Johnny looked slightly amused and chose not to say anything, as did everyone else. They all just watched the scene unfold.

“Um, oops? I guess?”

“I can't eat this-“

“Well that sucks, doesn't it?”

“Ugh, why did you do this?”

“Because it was funny”

“This is supposed to be funny?”

“Kind of, yeah”

Ten gets up from his chair. “Fine! If I can't enjoy some cake then neither can you!”

The Thai boy leaves the room and enters the kitchen, making Mark think he’d won the fight. Unfortunately for Mark, this was not the case. Ten remerged from the kitchen after the faint sounds of the fridge opening and closing could be heard with a bottle of ketchup. Yuta’s eyes widened, he knew exactly what was going to happen, yet, he did nothing to stop it. The ketchup bottle was opened and then emptied onto Mark’s slice of cake. Warily, the other members took a step back but to their surprise, Mark didn't retaliate.

“Fair game”

“Thanks, I thought so too”

Everyone else managed to enjoy their cake - though Ten donated his slice to Johnny because he was still a little bit annoyed, even if he said he wasn’t. As funny as Yuta found the situation, he knew Mark didn't really do it on purpose and was disappointed that he wasn’t going to have anything, so he discreetly handed Mark his plate; he reacted by beaming and hugging his generous best friend.

149 days until Mark’s birthday

Yuta was feeling, anxious, to say the least. A familiar feeling of dread overwhelmed him as he paced back and forth in their shared room. It occurred to Yuta that he wasn’t spending his time efficiently, he only had what, 149 days until it was Mark’s birthday? So what if he was keeping track? 149 days until Mark would probably decide never to talk to him again.

As Yuta was frantically pacing around, brows furrowed, debating the ways he could prevent himself from losing time with his precious soulmate, Mark walked in. The poor boy looked so confused, walking in on his roommate shuffling around like he was insane while holding his head in his hands, he decided that maybe it would be safer to leave Yuta to his own devices. Giving him some space. However, space is not what Yuta was looking for. So, he grabbed Mark’s hand, which immediately made the younger boy’s cheeks go up in flames and pulled him against his chest.

“H-hyung?”

“Shh”

“Are you feeling okay?”

“Just,, , can we stay like this for a while?”

“Oh, okay”

They stayed in that position in comfortable silence for a while, one of Yuta’s hands behind Mark’s head and the other around his waist. Mark could only stand still, not that he was complaining, he loved the way Yuta’s hand felt in his hair. Yuta was scared to let go.

122 days until Mark’s birthday

Yuta could really appreciate Mark’s ambition to do well in school, really, he did. It was one of the many things he admired about his soulmate. Though, he didn't admire nor appreciate that Mark had taken to studying really late at night. Sure, Yuta stayed up often enough till around two in the morning reading fanfictions or watching youtube videos but when Mark still had the bright white desk lamp on at four in the morning, his patience was really beginning to thin. It was even worse than usual seeing as Mark had an upcoming exam in a subject he wanted to excel in - this meant that Yuta was also going to bed at four and then waking up at eight most days now. One particularly exhausting Monday was the last straw for Yuta.

“Markie, I know you want to do well in chemistry, but don't you think that sleep is necessary at half-past four?” Yuta groaned, burying his face into the pillow.

Mark whined. “But oppa- the exam is in a couple of days and I think I’m going to fail”

“You're not going to fail, all you do is study,, , I would know. Please sleep, you're going to feel so much better once you wake up and so will I.” His voice was slightly muffled because of the pillow but his words were clear enough.

“Just a bit longer-“

“No.”

“Come on, just this one last section. I promise.”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No, you're going to do great anyway, sleeping tonight will not affect your grade. I’m begging, we have work tomorrow.”

He pouts and says nothing. Yuta lifts his head from his pillow to look bleary eyed in Mark’s direction, frowning as he sees the younger boy’s tired face.

“That’s it. Come here, I know you want to rest”

“No I don’t, I jus-“ Mark’s defence was interrupted by a loud yawn. “-okay I see your point”

“Good, now turn the lights off, it’s so bright that its giving me a migraine.”

“I doubt it’s actually giving you a migraine-“

“Shut up, please, Markie,, , I really need some sleep”

Mark looked longingly over at Yuta’s bed.

“You can join me if you want?” Yuta smirked.

Even if the light was off now, Yuta could clearly see how flustered Mark became and he thought about that as they could finally get to sleep.

105 days until Mark’s birthday

Sunday afternoon. Not exactly the usual time Yuta surrenders to his craving to read a random wattpad book, but today Mark and Haechan were acting particularly close; he needed to distract himself. It had been hours since he’d retreated into their room, leaving Mark to play with Haechan on his new Nintendo Switch and his favourite author had just updated the book he was getting really invested in. Why? In the they created, Yuta was obsessed with giving Mark forehead kisses and the image was so nice, besides, he liked to live vicariously. Mark was already panicked enough when Yuta gave him so much as a hug on camera - if he were to kiss Mark anywhere in public, he might just keel over and die. He would probably do the same in private too.

As Yuta was catching up with one of the best stories he’d read in a long time, he was far too concentrated on not making an audible squeal that he didn't notice the iconic MarioKart sound track had stopped playing. He also didn't notice the door opening. If he had, then he’d switch apps so quick that Mark would be none the wiser. Yuta cursed underneath his breath once he felt Mark flop on top of him.

“Hi hyung, what are you doing?”

“Uh-“ Yuta tried to switch to Instagram.

“Is that Wattpad?”

“Uh, how much would it take to convince you that it wasn’t?”

“You- you basically just admitted to me that it was Wattpad, there isn’t much you can do about it now, sorry hyung”

“…”

“Hhahaaahaha oh my god you read Wattpad books!”

“Well, how did you know? Have you perhaps used Wattpad too?”

Mark blushed. “Shut up-“

Yuta started laughing, and eventually Mark joined in, though he wasn’t pleased that he had been made the butt of the joke. From the way that the younger boy was acting, he didn't manage to catch what Yuta was reading, thankfully.

87 days until Mark’s birthday

In 2018, NCT 127 won the Seoul Music Awards for dance performance and Yuta knew that Mark always got really nervous before award shows, thinking that he was going to mess up. The older boy also knew that it was almost always his job to make sure that Mark felt okay before going onstage. This time though, Mark was not feeling okay.

The poor boy was shaking. “H-hyung,, , I’m scared”

“Why’s that? You’ve been to awards shows before.”

“Yeah but I feel like I screwed up a little bit on the dance at one point and then what if everyone noticed the small voice crack during my verse? What if the hosts hated our performance because of me so much that they decide to disqualify us? It will be all my fault.” His lower lip wobbled, his unnecessary guilt showing through the tears threatening to spill.

“If we don't win then it won’t be your fault, we’re a team and no one noticed you being slightly less than perfect. I sure didn’t, not until you pointed it out.”

Mark took a deep breath. “Are you sure?”

Yuta took his hand and squeezed it. “Positive.”

Shortly after, they joined the others and went on stage as a group. Yuta diligently listened to everything the hosts had to say while Mark tried to not make eye contact and fiddled with his fingers. When it was announced that they had won an award, Mark’s eyes widened comically and looked so full of joy that Yuta couldn’t even concentrate on being pleased for himself. His surprised smile was so captivating and contagious that Yuta smiled because of Mark, not that winning wasn’t an amazing achievement.

However, what was even more surprising was when Mark, unable to contain his excitement, jumped on top of Yuta - who immediately caught him in his arms to stop them from falling over. The crowd went wild and Mark, too embarrassed to function, buried his face in Yuta’s neck (who was also visibly blushing, except he wasn’t able to hide it so he just smiled, abashed). If Yuta tried to let go, Mark would just hold on tighter which caused the crowd to scream a little bit louder each time and drew everyone’s attention on the two men again; Yuta decided that he was just going to hold on to Mark as long as he wished.

They were up on stage for around five more minutes and while Taeyong graciously accepted the trophy and said a few words, Yuta’s arms were starting to strain and desperately wished for them to be able to leave. Finally, the next award was being announced, so Yuta just carried Mark off stage (Mark was now too embarrassed to stan up on his own, had committed to being held for far too long and was grateful that Yuta hadn’t dropped him), much to the excitement of the fans.

Once, everyone returned back to the dorms, tired but happy everyone broke up into their couples to rest - obviously not all romantically involved (though Yuta didn't know who Jaeyong and Doil thought they were fooling, they were clearly soulmates) and while Mark was sleeping, Yuta checked Wattpad and his other socials. His feed was filled with screenshots and photos of the Awards Ceremony, which he saved and he got many new update notifications for the countless Yumark stories that he had previously saved. Yuta briefly wondered how so many people had updated in the 2 hours since the end of the Seoul Music Awards but quickly began reading.

60 days until Mark’s birthday

Finding himself in a roughly similar situation as he was around five months ago, Yuta grudgingly opened the door to see Eunji again and when he tried to shut the door in her face once more, she stuck her foot out.

“Can we talk?”

“I don't really feel like it, if I'm being honest”

She looked guilty. “I- I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

“…”

“I shouldn’t have let my jealousy of you affect how I acted towards you,, , I just wanted Mark all to myself and in the end it backfired. I didn't come to apologise to you because I feel sorry for myself or anything, I- what I did was so wrong, I don't deserve your forgiveness and I certainly don't expect one but I still wanted to say that I’m sorry.”

Yuta’s jaw dropped. “…”

Eunji, not knowing what to say, bowed and left as quickly as she could. Yuta, dumbfounded, closed the door and after regaining his senses, pulled out his phone to explain the situation to Mark - who was as equally confused, saying that she hadn’t tried to contact him in weeks.

42 days until Mark’s birthday

Mark’s POV

I like it when Yuta holds my hand, and when he puts his arm around me - it’s like an unspoken promise to keep me safe.

13 days until Mark’s birthday

Mrs Nakamoto called Yuta often; it’s been like this since he’d left Japan. Usually, it was just to check up on him, ask how he’s doing and that she misses him, which he appreciated. This time though, she was lecturing about his ‘cowardice’, which wasn’t so appreciated.

“Honey, Mark likes you”

“No he doesn’t”

“Are you blind? He’d walk to the ends of the Earth to see you”

Yuta pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yeah, until he finds someone better”

“Idiot. I love you so much but you're stupid. I’m pointing out the obvious and yet you refuse to listen, it’s like you want to be unhappy.”

“Hey! I don't want to be unhappy!”

“Why do I bother? We’ve had this conversation before.”

“Then why do you keep bringing it up?”

“I don't even know at this point. Anyway, just- just tell Mark the truth. At the very least you’d stay best friends, he can't exactly replace you as his soulmate.”

“…”

Encouraged by his silence, Mrs Nakamoto continued: “You’d be cutting it close, and he would definitely be furious that you’ve neglected telling him for so long-“

Yuta rolled his eyes. “Mum, that’s not helpful”

“I'm not finished! She said indignantly. “What I'm saying is, he’d be mad for a while and then once he’s calmed down, you can explain your point of view,, , I’m sure he’d understand”

“I don't want to, it’s less than two weeks until Mark’s birthday and I don't want to spend it fighting”

“I give up,, , please tell him. I’m not saying this to upset you, I want what’s best for you. Believe it or not, I’ve had more world experience than you. I know it’s a crazy concept but try and keep up” She said sarcastically.

“Wow, thanks”

“You're welcome, honey. I love and miss you,, , do try and bring Mark over again soon-“

“I love you too, bye”

“Bye”

1 day left until Mark’s birthday

Yuta was on the verge of a panic attack; it was Mark’s birthday tomorrow. He wasn’t nearly as prepared for this as he thought. He’d had almost a full year to prepare for the mess that was going to be Mark’s eighteenth and he still wasn’t ready. Mark was going to hate him and there was nothing he could do. Of course, Mark had chosen that very moment to walk in. Déjà vu.

Yuta immediately pulled him into a suffocating hug.

“H-hi Yuta oppa”

“I missed you”

“Um, I was gone for two hours but I missed you too?”

Yuta rested his head on top of Mark’s. “I don't know what I’d do without you”

Mark blushed at this, which Yuta didn't see. “Me neither, but you’ve been doing this a lot recently,, , please,, , tell me if there’s something wrong”

Yuta stayed silent. “…”

“Yuta oppa?”

“I'm- I’m sorry Markie,, , I am so sorry.”

Chapter Text

Today was the day and Yuta couldn’t quite grasp the idea. He wasn’t able to sleep either, yet he was exhausted - after breaking off from their hug, Yuta just crawled into bed, fully clothed and ignored any attempts Mark made to talk to him. Once Mark had fallen asleep and Yuta was sure that he was far too nervous to rest, he got up and took a shower. Though he felt refreshed, Yuta still returned to bed to stare at the ceiling some more.

A sudden, very unwelcome, thought popped into Yuta’s head. Mark isn’t going to like gift he got him. What was he thinking getting matching necklaces for the two if them? They also had rings on them, so similar that they could me mistaken for promise rings. Mark was going to hate it. It was too late now though, it was around three in the morning and he had to set up the party, chances are that Mark won’t accept the present - based on the fact that he’ll be focused on the soulmate tattoo. Which would be of Yuta’s name. He was shaking, but there wasn’t much he could do, he just had to wait.

The next few hours passed by painfully slow, but by the time the sun rose, the party set up and everyone waiting for Mark to exit his room, Yuta desperately wished for it to be 3am again. He felt sick with dread, he could barely see. The streamers, the balloons, the cake that was too large to be considered a birthday cake anymore and his oblivious group members were all blurry. Yuta could shake his head for a moment of clarity, but then everything would fuse together again. This was surely a mixture of anxiety and the tears in his eyes, but if he was crying already, no one told him. Perhaps they didn't notice.

When Mark finally emerged, the hard glare focused on Yuta quickly killed the positive mood. Everyone could feel and see that Mark was angry, furious even. His fists were curled so that they were white, his jaw was clenched and by the remorseful look on Yuta’s face, they could also see that Yuta knew the exact reason why. Taeyong was the first to come to his senses, quickly trying to usher the other members out of the room before Mark started speaking. For once, they were compliant, very unenthusiastic at the idea of staying to witness the argument. One by one, they left (Jungwoo taking the birthday cake), and after the door shut timidly behind them, the two men were alone.

Mark wasted no time and immediately got to the point.

“YUTA WHAT THE FUCK?” Apparently there was no time for an honorific.

“Yes?”

“WHY THE FUCK DOES IT SAY THAT YOU'RE MY SOULMATE?!”

Yuta looked to the ground in shame. “,, , because we’re soulmates”

“OKAY THEN WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU TELL ME SOONER?! I COULD HAVE AVOIDED THAT CRAZY BITCH, ALL THE PEOPLE WHO KEEP ASKING ME OUT AT SCHOOL NOW THAT THEY KNOW I’M SINGLE AND I WOULDN’T HAVE HAD TO QUESTION MY SEXUALITY FOR SO LONG! I WAS HATING MYSELF FOR BEING SO ATTRACTED TO YOU! DID YOU KNOW THAT? EVERY FUCKING TIME YOU WALKED INTO THE ROOM I’D LOSE MY BREATH BECAUSE YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL AND EVERY TIME A FRUSTRATED POUT WOULD APPEAR ON YOUR FACE I WANTED NOTHING MORE THAN TO KISS IT AWAY, BUT I COULDN’T BECAUSE YOU SEEMED SO IN LOVE WITH YOUR SOULMATE WHENEVER YOU TALKED ABOUT THEM! I COULD NEVER JUSTIFY TAKING THAT AWAY FROM YOU!”

Yuta flinched but said nothing.

“YOU KNOW WHAT? I FUCKING LOVE YOU! IT’S BEEN THIS WAY FOR OVER A YEAR BUT I KEPT TELLING MYSELF THAT I WAS STRAIGHT BECAUSE I HAD EUNJI AND YOU HAD YOUR RIDICULOUS SOULMATE! EVERY TIME THAT I REMEMBERED THAT YOU WOULD NEVER BE EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE FOR ME, MY SOUL WOULD BE CRUSHED; I WANTED TO BE YOUR SOULMATE SO BADLY BUT I KEPT ON THINKING THAT IF I WAS, YOU’D HAVE TOLD ME BY NOW! BUT YOU NEVER DID!”

Yuta’s eyes widened. “I-“

“I’M NOT FUCKING DONE. NOW I FINALLY KNOW WHY YOU NEVER TOLD ME THEIR FUCKING NAME! I WAS SO JEALOUS OF THEM! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU KNEW ALL THIS TIME! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? DO YOU NOT WANT ME?”

“Markie, of course I do-“

“NO! FUCK YOU!”

“I’m so sorry” Yuta reached out to put his hand on Mark’s shoulder but he jerked away.

“FUCK OFF! YOU SAY THAT SO MUCH THAT I DON’T THINK YOU MEAN IT! … I’VE WANTED TO KNOW FOR AGES WHO MY SOULMATE WAS AND YOU KNEW! YOU ALWAYS KNEW! YOU’VE BEEN LYING TO MY FUCKING FACE FOR FOUR YEARS! IF IT WASN’T FOR THE FACT THAT I ALSO GET A SOULMATE MARK, I WOULD NEVER HAVE KNOWN!”

“You’re being selfish. I’ve loved you in one form or another ever since we’ve met and I’ve had to wait for four years, thinking that you're straight and you’d hate me as soon as soon as you realised that I was your soulmate! I loathed myself because I thought I was getting in the way of your happiness,, , do you realise that every time you excitedly talked about what your soulmate might be like, you talked about a girl? I don't know if you’ve realised, but I'm not a girl and I didn't want to ruin it for you. Four years, and you want to talk about how you’ve suffered? I got so depressed, did you know that? I thought no one was EVER going to love me, not even my soulmate, my supposed other half. Do you know how that feels?”

Yuta took a moment to glare at Mark, who squirmed.

“No. You don’t. That’s because you’ve always had your tongue stuck down that girl’s throat. You kept telling me how much you loved her and that you had a feeling that you’d be each other’s soulmate; I had to listen to it and agree to it because I was too afraid to tell the truth. I decided that I just wanted to be a part of your life, even if I thought you’d never look at me the same. You seemed so happy without me. I didn't want to lose you, I still don’t, because losing you would have killed me. Again, you wouldn’t know how that feels. Tell. Me. Again. How. You. Have. Suffered.”

A suffocating silence filled the room, the party atmosphere had long since gone. When Mark spoke again, his voice was small.

“Oh,, ,”

“Hahahaha, is that all you have to say? I’m done with you. I'm done with your shit. I'm done with you playing with my feelings. You even gave me false hope that we could have had a chance together before you so crudely told me to ‘fuck off’. Why are you doing this to me? Why do I still love you?”

Yuta felt relieved. He’d finally got to say what he wanted and even if Mark won’t want to talk to him anymore, he will know that he loves him. As Yuta turned to also leave the apartment, Mark grabs his arm.

He lets out a small breath. “Wait”

Mark grabs the collar of Yuta’s shirt, fingertips brushing against his neck, causing the older boy to shiver in anticipation. His eyes looked into Mark’s questioningly, but Mark seemed to have made his mind up. He pulled Yuta down so that they were face to face and then pressed a forceful kiss to his lips. At that moment, he could only focus on Mark. How their lips fit together so perfectly, like they were always supposed to be that way. He briefly wondered how he’d be able to cope never feeling it again. When Mark bit Yuta’s bottom lip, Yuta pulled away.

“I-“

“Shut up.”

Thoroughly convinced, Yuta reconnected their lips in an open mouthed kiss, smirking when Mark let out a moan. He pushed Mark backwards, until he was flush against the wall.

“Jump” Yuta muttered.

Mark complied, jumping up and wrapping his legs around Yuta’s waist. He gasped when he was pushed further up against the wall. “Yu-“

He was cut off by Yuta’s lips on his once again. He grabbed at the strands of Yuta’s hair, pulling them harder as the kiss deepened.

Eventually the two ran out of breath and pulled away. They stared at each other, memorising each other’s faces. Yuta was unsure about how far this would go. He wanted Mark, had wanted him for a while. He decided to test if the younger wanted to go further. No matter how pissed off he was at his soulmate, he wouldn’t, couldn’t, take advantage of him. He slightly squeezed Mark’s ass through the joggers he was wearing, smirking when a moan escaped the younger’s lips.

“Yutaaaaaa…” Mark whimpered. “Stop teasing.”

Yuta’s smirk grew at the aggression in his voice. He slid his hands to Mark’s waist and carried him swiftly to their room, slamming and locking the door behind him. A million thoughts ran through his head at that moment, the others would definitely stay away from them for a while, so they were free to do whatever…

Mark, tired of waiting, smashed his lips against Yuta’s again. He was mad, pissed off even, but the amount of need that filled his body grew with each passing second. He needed Yuta, and he was going to make sure he got what he wanted. Slowly, he started to grind his lower half against Yuta. A slight smirk grew on his face when he felt the older’s breath hitch.

So he wants to play that game…

Getting the confirmation he needed, Yuta moved the two over to one of the beds, breaking the kiss as he placed Mark down.

“Y-Yuta, I-I…” Mark stared at his soulmate. He knew what he wanted, but saying it out loud felt embarrassing.

“What do you want?” Yuta’s voice was rough.

A shiver went down Mark’s spine. “Y-you.” He cleared his throat. “I want you.”

If he wasn’t angry still, Yuta would’ve melted at the profuse blush on Mark’s cheeks. He smirked slightly. He knew exactly what Mark wanted, but was wrong with toying with him a bit? “What do you want me to do? I can’t do it if you don’t tell me.”

The blush in Mark’s cheeks got even redder. “I’m not saying. It’s obvious.”

“Is it?”

“Fuck you.”

“Gladly.”

Yuta climbed on top of Mark, careful not to put too much weight on the younger. He moved up until their faces were only centimeters apart, before latching his lips on the side of the younger’s neck. He kissed down the soft skin, slightly sucking at some spots, nipping and licking at others.

Mark writhed beneath him, slightly weirded out by the feeling on his neck. After a couple minutes, though, the weird feeling turned into a feeling of pleasure. He let out soft moans and grabbed at the older’s hair, unconsciously moving his hips against Yuta’s.

After almost covering the younger’s neck, Yuta leaned back. Mark had stoped moving, and Yuta had become painfully aware of how hard he had gotten. He looked down at the younger, he was panting slightly, his face red, and he was definitely hard.

“Y-Yuta. I-I…” Mark swallowed the lump in his throat. Here goes nothing. “P-please. F-fuck me…”

Those were the only two words he needed to hear.

Yuta made quick work of discarding their clothing, leaving them in only their boxers. He kissed down Mark’s chest, sucking at certain spots, leaving purple marks.

Their manager is going to be pissed.

Then another thought struck through Yuta’s head. They didn’t have anything. No condoms. No lube. Nothing.

Too late now…

“Hurry… up…” Mark panted.

Yuta smirked at his persistence. “Fine then.” He put three fingers up to his mouth. “We don’t have lube… so suck.”

Mark eyed Yuta as he took the three fingers in his mouth, swirling his tongue around them.

While Mark was sucking on his fingers, Yuta busied himself by removing their boxers. Deeming his fingers coated enough, he removed them from the younger’s mouth. He positioned himself and pushed one of Mark’s legs up slowly, giving himself better access. He slid one finger in slowly, not wanting to hurt Mark.

Mark clenched his teeth at the feeling. “Yuta it-it hurts.” He whined, tears slowly falling from his eyes.

Yuta kissed the tears away gently as he added a second finger. “I know baby,” he kissed Mark on the lips as he began scissoring with his fingers. “I know it hurts, but it’ll hurt worse if we don’t do this okay?”

The younger nodded, taking a deep breath to relax himself. After a moment, a third finger was added. He kept breathing deeply to keep himself relaxed, the pain bearable if he didn’t tense up. Suddenly a shock of pleasure shot up his spine. He moaned loudly at the feeling, looking at Yuta, silently questioning what the feeling was.

Yuta just smirked and kept hitting the spot. He kept thrusting his fingers in and out, only stopping when Mark began to move against his fingers. He pulled them out and wiped them on the blanket before sitting up. He spit on his hands (he knew he couldn’t go in dry, so what other choice was there) and rubbed it on his dick.

“Are you ready baby?” Yuta asked as he lined himself up.

Mark took a deep breath and nodded. “Y-yeah.”

“Tell me if it hurts too much.”

Mark nodded his head again. He took a deep breath as Yuta began to push in, he clenched his teeth again at the pain.

“Breathe baby I’m all the way in.”

Mark took more deep breaths as he slowly adjusted to the feeling. “M-move.”

Yuta nodded his head and pulled out and thrusted back in slowly. He continued the motion a couple more times, almost deciding to stop at the lack of reaction from Mark, when the younger let out a moan of pleasure. He took it as a sign to keep going. Not wanting to rush Mark, he kept at the same pace.

“F-faster.”

Yuta complied and sped up.

“F-fuck!” Mark moaned loudly when Yuta hit that same bundle of nerves.

Yuta groaned at the feeling and sped up, attaching his hand to Mark’s dick, pumping his hand up and down.

Mark was sure at that point that the others could probably hear them, but he didn’t really care. He couldn’t even remember why he was so mad at Yuta. All he could think about was the intense pleasure he was feeling. After a few minutes, Mark could feel a weird feeling coming from his stomach. He slightly panicked at the feeling, and looked to the older. “Y-Yuta I-“

“It’s okay Markie…” Yuta leaned up and captured Mark’s lips just as he released in his hand. He wiped his hand on the sheets and moved it to Mark’s hair, brushing the sweaty locks from his face. After a few thrusts, Yuta released himself and slowly rode out his high.

He pulled out slowly and laid down next to his soulmate.

Chapter Text

Yuta was the first to wake up, the memories from that morning flooded back soon after. He was in a form of shock, held in disbelief that Mark was his, just as much as he was Mark’s. Only four years in the making. As cheesy as it sounds, his heart has never felt so complete- it was as if everything was finally falling into place. If this was all a dream, he never wanted to wake up. Yuta moved closer to Mark, so he could admire his soulmate’s face in this state of bliss.

Mark was just so perfect, somehow his imperfections (not that they were real imperfections) made him seem even more ethereal. From his messy hair that slightly stuck to his forehead, the rounded arches of his eyebrows to the facial hair that was just beginning to grow out, every detail made Yuta fall in love with his soulmate more. Yuta brought his (shaky) hand up to Mark’s face, delicately tracing his jaw and the outline of his lips, checking that Mark was real.

Wait.

They weren’t together.

They hadn’t agreed on anything, Mark might regret it-

Fuck.

While Yuta was silently panicking, Mark had started to wake up, rubbing his eyes and smiling. Until the memories had seemed to hit him like a truck too. Mark’s eyes widened comically, and before Yuta could stop him, he rushed to the bathroom, the door slamming aggressively behind him. The sound of the shower starting soon followed.

Well what was the poor Japanese man going to do now? What if Mark expected him to be gone? Should he leave the room to avoid awkwardness once Mark returned, call his mum to ask for advice or pick the lock of the bathroom door and demand answers? None of those options seemed ideal, so Yuta decided that he’d just wait. Calling his mother seemed like a terrible idea, she’d abandon sympathy just to make sure that Yuta would know that he should have listened to her. He could almost hear her voice, all the “I told you so” comments he’d receive were already ringing in his ears.

Was he not enough? Clearly Mark felt some attraction for Yuta and even confessed his love, but what if it was more of a ‘heat of the moment’ type of situation? People tend to say things they don't really mean when they’re angry. Yuta began to doubt himself more; Mark could regret it because he thinks that Yuta wasn’t good in bed. He began to shake and his breathing became uneven, he pulled some random clothes on (what did it matter if it matched or not) and sat anxiously on the end of his bed. What if Mark thought that he was too rough? Yuta would never forgive himself if he hurt Markie, intentionally or not.

Thinking back on it, why did he even hide it from Mark for so long? Sure rejection was scary, but he could have at least hinted something to Mark once him and Eunji had broken up- at least in that way, so it wouldn’t have been a complete surprise. Who knows, maybe Yuta could have even brought up enough courage to confess to Mark if he was sure that the feelings are mutual. Then Mark may have had a better eighteenth birthday.

They could have spent it together as a group and Mark could have celebrated finally being recognised as an adult (via the soulmate mark). Instead, he’d spent it finding out that his best friend had kept a huge secret from him for years, being furious at Yuta because of it and then losing his virginity to said best friend at 11am. They’d also kicked out the other members to create privacy for their argument and by the lack of noise, they still hadn’t chanced coming back, but Yuta was sure that Mark wasn’t going to have a slice of birthday cake either. Yuta felt guilty, it seemed like he’d ruined everything.

Fortunately, Yuta’s crisis about his regrettable life choices was interrupted by the bathroom door opening. Yuta’s eyes tearfully followed his soulmate, watching as Mark’s wet hair fell into his eyes and one of Yuta’s largest hoodies blanketed his small body. This time, he made sure to close the door gently behind him. As Yuta opened his mouth to start frantically apologising, in an attempt to salvage what he thought was a ruined friendship, Mark beamed at him. Obviously not the reaction he was expecting.

“Oppa, are you feeling okay?” Mark was glowing.

“Uhm, I thought I should be asking you that? Why aren’t you mad?”

“Technically I'm in pain, because you know,, , but such a weight has been lifted off my shoulders that I feel great! Why would I be mad oppa?”

Oh god Mark was openly calling him ‘oppa’ now- Yuta thought he was going to combust because of how cute that was.

“I don't know,, , earlier? You just left as soon as you woke up?”

Mark’s face fell, realising the the implication of leaving immediately after waking up for the first time.

“Oh my, I didn't mean to make you think you’d done something wrong,, , I just wanted to clean up before everyone else got back-“

“I see, I think we need to talk.” Yuta wanted to have this conversation over and done with, he wasn’t going to wait until Mark brought it up.

“We do?”

“Well yeah, what are we? I’m not really sure what you feel for me, I mean, you could have just said it in the moment” Yuta asked hesitantly.

Mark looked perplexed for a moment, before smiling again and straddling Yuta’s lap, arms wrapped around his neck.

“Yuta, I need you to know that I meant every word. I love you so much and I have for a while, though clearly not as long as you. You take my breath away in the best way possible, when I look at you all my stress disappears and the way that you put others above yourself makes me love you more. I wouldn’t want anyone else to be my soulmate.” Mark said firmly, planting a kiss on Yuta’s lips.

It seemed impossible, but Yuta’s face turned an even deeper shade of red.

“I- I’m going to be honest, I never thought you’d feel the same way. I feel like I’m the luckiest man in the world. You are the most important person in the world to me, I love you so much, more than you could ever know. What I'm trying to say is, now that I know you love me too and yeah, we’ve had our ups and downs but we’ve always come out stronger a the end,, , do you want to give us a go?”

“W-what are you saying, Yuta oppa?” Mark looked up at him hopefully.

“Do you want to be my boyfriend? It’s totally okay if you don’t, if you think we’re rushing things or something - I can give you as much time as you need.”

“Of course I want to be your boyfriend!”

After hearing this, Yuta started to tear up. He placed both of his hands on the sides of Mark’s face, staring into his eyes - finding only love staring back - before leaning in and placing a long kiss on his soulmate’s lips. He poured all of his emotions into that kiss before pulling back and leaning their foreheads against one another.

“I love you” Yuta breathed.

“I love you too” Mark smiled and reconnected their lips.

Chapter Text

Five years later

Mark’s POV

That Saturday morning, Mark was woken up by the sunlight streaming down on his face. Odd, Yuta always closes the curtains before going to sleep. Feeling around the bed for his boyfriend of five years, Mark realised that Yuta never came back the night before. He kind of just assumed that Yuta was going to be practicing late into the night - he’d been way busier ever since the Japanese unit debuted so Mark hadn’t bothered waiting for Yuta to return. Clearly that had been a mistake and Mark should have gone to the practice rooms to collect his overworked boyfriend. Too late now, Mark supposed, he’ll just bring Yuta a coffee to help him get through the day.

Sighing, Mark swung his legs out from under the covers and put them on the floor. The Canadian then trudged to the bathroom to get ready for the day, tired because he always slept better when Yuta was next to him.

It was only after Mark finished brushing his teeth that he noticed the envelope stuck to the mirror, addressed to him. Surprised but also curious, he reached out to grab the envelope - it was clear that Yuta had written this for him. “Markie” was on the front, in Yuta’s best handwriting, which made Mark smile to himself. Yuta was too cute for this world, the letter inside the envelope proved it:

“Dear Markie,

So, I had an idea and I would have asked you about it, but then it wouldn’t be a surprise. A couple of weeks ago, I came back home really late from dance practice (already feeling super guilty because I’d said that I would be home earlier that day, sorry about that) and noticed that you’d fallen asleep on the couch waiting for me (which made me feel worse).

I wanted to make it up to you, and while I was carrying you to bed I realised that I wanted you to know how much I love you, by showing you. You know I love you already, but I wanted to show you even more,, , so I came up with this scavenger hunt! I hope you enjoy it~

Firstly, there are five locations, or clues, in total. The first being this one, there is one clue for every year we’ve been together. Secondly, you have to solve each clue/task in order to get to the next location, so here it is:

Go to where we first met, in order to receive the next envelope, you have to order the same drink you ordered that day- good luck remembering that baby.

Lots of love, Yuta.

P.S. I love that you’ve refused to get AirPods; I’ve always admired how down to earth you are.”

Mark felt like crying; Yuta had no business being this romantic. Obviously, they met at the café next to SM, but Mark had no idea what he ordered- this was going to be a disaster. Either way, Mark got dressed nicely and did his makeup faster than he had ever done before. He was so excited to do these tasks, then he could also shower Yuta with the affection he deserves. Mark then ran out of the dorms, ignoring the other members (who were still in their pyjamas) so he could get to the café sooner.

Mark arrived at the café panting. So what if he was too impatient to walk so he ran? Thankfully, the only barista was unfazed and looked like she was expecting him. She smiled.

“So, I assume you’re the boyfriend,, , Mark?” She raised her eyebrow.

“Uh yeah, that’s me”

“Great! So tell me, what would you like to order?”

“Is there no way you could tell me the answer?”

The barista grinned. “Sorry, no can do”

“Uhm,, , I can't remember, I was like twelve-“

“Darn, that sucks, didn't think you’d give up that easily”

Mark felt like a terrible boyfriend, Yuta clearly remembered, and if he was in Mark’s situation right now, he wouldn’t even hesitate before getting the correct answer. Well, he was twelve so it was probably something with a lot of sugar in it, but what if he ordered a coffee to try and impress Yuta?

“Fuck it-“

“Pardon?”

“Can I uh, order one of everything on the menu? Just the drinks please?”

“I- All 40?”

“How do that many drinks even exist,, ,? Well I guess so yeah”

He swore that he saw the light drain out of the barista’s eyes at the though of having to make 40 drinks in one go- at least Mark was the only customer.

“Well, uh, I guess you technically ordered the correct drink. Here’s your next clue”

Bowing slightly, Mark took the envelope from her hands and read the next letter, but not before thanking the barista and calling Johnny to pick up the drinks and to distribute them amongst the staff members. It read:

“Dear Markie,

If you're reading this, then you passed the first challenge! I’m so proud of you baby~
This letter will be much shorter in comparison to the first, but here is your second clue:

Go to where we had our first date and convince the boat rental guy to give you the next envelope.

Lots of love, Yuta.

P.S. I love your confidence and your ability to make people love you without even trying. You never cease to amaze me.”

Oh,, , oh no,, , it’s not like Mark forgot where their first date was or anything, because he didn’t. He would never be able to forget it. Yuta had wanted to be romantic, so he brought them to a lake and wanted their date to be in the middle of the lake in complete seclusion. Unfortunately, neither of them knew how to use a boat, therefore after they rented one from this boat rental guy, they kind of just,, , guessed. Guessing turned out to be a terrible idea. They managed to capsize the boat and sink it five minutes after they first got in. Safe to say, the boat rental guy was not their biggest fan, even after they sheepishly paid him compensation.

After spending the 20 minute car ride hyping himself up, Mark arrived at the lake and walked towards the guy’s shop. A flash of recognition flashed in the man’s eyes, causing Mark to gulp nervously. He really wanted to turn around and leave, but he needed that envelope-

“Hello sir,, , it’s been a long time,, , time goes by fast huh?” Mark said while rubbing the back fo his neck.

“Not long enough”

“O-oh, I’m sorry about your boat, I hope you were able to replace it”

“I did.”

“That’s really good sir, but I’m sure you’ll be glad to hear that I'm not here to rent another boat-“

“I wouldn’t let you.”

“R-right, I suppose that’s fair, but I came to ask if my boyfriend left you an envelope?”

“He did.”

“Great! Can I please have it?”

“I don't know, can you?”

Mark wanted to roll his eyes, he’d only been here for a few minutes and he was already frustrated with this man who still held a grudge after five years.

“May I please have the envelope?”

“Okay”

“Wait really? Thank you so much sir!”

He eagerly took the envelope from the grumpy old man and wished his business the best of luck. The boat guy huffed in response, but still smiled a little, no one is immune to Mark’s contagious happiness. The next letter made Mark giggle:

“Dear Markie,

I tried to make this into a clue but I couldn’t really think of anything,, , I packed some of your clothes already and took them with me, so you don't have to worry about going back home first. Please meet my mum at the airport, she will escort you during the journey. While I did tell her not to bring the Yumark sign, she probably did anyway, so prepare yourself for that. She does have your passport though (I’m very sorry that I didn't ask first, but I wanted it to be a surprise until right now.)

One more clue to go!

Lots of love, Yuta

P.S. I love how you never fail to make my day brighter <3 “

If he was being accompanied by Yuta’s mum, then that probably meant they were going to Japan. Mark didn't mind that Yuta took his passport, he trusts that Yuta wouldn’t do anything stupid with it. He was giddy with excitement now, he was going to see Mrs Nakamoto again and more importantly, Yuta. Thanking the boat rental guy one last time, Mark left the shop and called a taxi to take him to the airport.

As if Mrs Nakamoto had a sixth sense, she was waiting for Mark at the terminal, without the sign. She explained that while they were in Seoul, she wanted to avoid Mark getting recognised as much as they could. With a couple of hours to spare before their flight boarded (Yuta and his mum weren’t sure how long it would take Mark to finish the first three clues) so they hung out in the first class lounge, steadily making their way through the buffet table, much to the displeasure of the serving staff. (A/N if you actually go to the first class lounges in airports, they glare at you for taking too much food ;) )

It was early evening when they finally boarded their plane to Tokyo. Mark noted that Mrs Nakamoto was almost as excited as he was and that Yuta was clearly trying to impress him if he bought them first class tickets for a two hour flight. He wasn’t going to complain though.

It was funny, the further they got through customs and security, the more excited Mrs Nakamoto became and she wouldn’t stop smiling at Mark. He would be unnerved by that, but it was only slightly more intense than what she was usually like, so he paid no mind. Neither Mrs Nakamoto nor Mark had brought any luggage aside from carry on, so they got to skip past the hoards of people fighting for their bags. Not willing to wait any longer, she grabbed Mark’s arm and ran to the car park where her car was waiting- she quickly opened the door and pushed Mark inside the passenger seat. Then, she ran around the front of the car, almost tripping, and got in the driver’s seat.

Grinning, she leant over Mark and opened the glovebox, pulling out the last envelope. Mark eagerly opened it, gasping at the contents.

“Dear Markie,

You’re almost done! Now, my mum is going to drive you to Disneyland where you're going to have to find me. When you get to the entrance, tell them your name and you’ll be given your ticket. We can go on all the rides afterwards, I haven’t seen you in a whole day and I miss you. <3

Love, Yuta

P.S. I love everything about you, even your slightly awkward wink ;))”

He couldn’t believe it, Yuta was really the best boyfriend he could ever hope for; he planned a cross nation scavenger hunt so they could go on a date to Disneyland- Mark must have been a prophet in his past life to be this lucky.

The rest of the drive to Disneyland was uneventful, apart from a bit of traffic. Mark was a little tempted to get angry, but his better conscience said that it wouldn’t be helpful. Instead, he glared at everyone they passed and thought about where Yuta would be.

“Wait, it’s like,, , 10pm,, , Disneyland isn’t going to be open”

“Oh Markie honey, Yuta rented out the entire thing and provided a lot of autographs. You underestimate him” Mrs Nakamoto giggled.

“I- Of course he rented out Disneyland- he’s so cute”

“Haha, he is, isn’t he?”

Mark thought she was joking, but no, they really pulled up to Disneyland Tokyo’s empty carpark where he was then thrown out of the car. Well okay then. The last clue came with his ticket.

“Dear Markie,

This is the last letter, I’ll see you soon. Originally I was going to make you search all over the park, but I don't want you to be walking around in the dark, by yourself, so I’m at the Castle. I’ll be waiting~

Love, Yuta

P.S. you're the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Mark was running now, he was feeling so excited and so emotional, probably caused by the non stop travelling that day. His exhaustion was very much overpowered by sight of the castle, his feet began to hit the ground even faster. If Mark wasn’t so concentrated on running towards the love of his life, he may have appreciated his surroundings more. The park was seemingly empty, with the lamp posts lighting up the pathway like an aisle, the fairy lights glowing faintly to add to the magic and the ornate water fountains. The Castle itself sat high above everything else, each spire illuminated by surrounding lights and the stars above.

As he got closer, his anticipation heightened, Yuta flew him all the way to Japan just to take him on a date and give him a surprise. Mark’s heart was hammering inside his chest. He slowed down as he saw a figure staring up at the largest fountain, the water was glowing and the man seemed to be mesmerised by the patterns. Yuta was finally in front of him again, even if they had only not seen each other in 24 hours, its felt like much longer.

“Yuta” Mark breathed as he approached the Japanese man.

Yuta blinked, attention broken from the most romantic place in the park. If Yuta was nervous, then Mark wasn’t able to tell.

“Hello Markie, I missed you-“ he was cut off because Mark had engulfed him in a tight hug.

Mark whined.“I missed you so much, please don’t leave me ever again, even if its only for a day.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it, did you like your surprise?”

“My surprise? Is it this Disneyland date? If it is, then I love it oppa, but you didn't have to rent out the whole park-“

“No, Disneyland is a part of the surprise, but if you close your eyes then I’ll show you” Yuta smiled down at Mark. Mark briefly wondered how he was standing in front of an angel and obliged Yuta’s request. A small shuffle was heard.

“Markie, you can open your eyes now” Yuta said with a nervous laugh.

“Holy shit”

Mark was speechless, this was beyond whatever he could have imagined. Yuta was there, on one knee and holding the most beautiful ring he’d ever seen. The diamonds sparkled and the look on Yuta’s face was one of pure, genuine love - Mark clapped a hand over his mouth and let out a sob.

“M-markie, you know I had a speech planned and everything, but now that you're here in front of me, I’m at a complete loss for words. How do you get more beautiful every time I see you? We’ve been dating for a bit more than five years, and they have truly been the best five years in my life. I go to sleep thinking of you, and there is no better feeling than waking up to your face in the morning. There is no one else that I’d want to be my soulmate. It’s you or nothing, and I mean it. You have always been there for me, and I was hoping that you’ll do the same and let me always be there for you, will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?”

“YES, OF COURSE I WILL! THIS IS THE BEST SURPRISE I’VE EVER RECEIVED IN MY LIFE, YOU’RE JUST SO PERFECT AND AMAZING AND I CAN'T WAIT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH” Mark was full on crying now, and so was Yuta.

Yuta delicately slid the ring onto Mark’s finger, it looked like it was always supposed to be there. Mark tried to wipe his eyes as his boyfriend, now fiancé, stood up and wrapped his arms around him. Yuta’s hand was threaded through Mark’s hair, his face being buried in the older’s chest - tears soaking through his shirt.

Yuta spoke (cheek pressed on the top of the small boy’s head), though slightly muffled by Mark’s hair: “I love you too, more than words could ever hope to describe.”

Mark blinked away his tears and pulled away from Yuta’s chest. He opened his mouth to respond, but instead got up on his tip toes, to press a passionate kiss against Yuta’s lips. A kiss that showed so much more love than what Mark could say in return.

Chapter Text

Yuta’s POV

Originally, Yuta had planned the wedding to be on their sixth year anniversary, and that was the set date until Mark got impatient and begged Yuta to move the date forward. Who was Yuta to refuse? So here he was, anxiously waiting for the doors to open as the music played, waiting for Mark to appear.

The venue they’d chosen wasn’t huge by any means, only suitable to fit around 150 people. Their wedding planner - also known as Kun, who still had to look after 22 kids while planning the whole thing because no one bothered to help - had gone for an elegant white theme, with hints of green foliage to break things up. However, Yuta had insisted that fairy lights had to be hung form the ceiling, the end result was a whimsical, romantic wedding hall.

The flower girl entered the hall first and she’d been given a basket of white rose petals to scatter down the aisle. She was around three years old, meaning that she didn't really understand the task being given to her but had fun anyway. Unfortunately, she was far too generous with the scattering and when she got to the halfway point, she’d completely run out of petals. She panicked, immediately scrambling to grab handfuls off the floor to try and spread them more evenly. The audience cooed at her. Once she was satisfied, she returned to the seating area, climbing onto the chair next to Jaehyun and Taeyong.

Soon, the doors opened to reveal Mark, in a fitted white suit. He confidently walked down the aisle on his own (he refused to let anyone pass him off) while holding a beautiful bouquet of lilies, white roses and snowdrops. Suddenly, everything around him disappeared: the flowers girl, their crying parents, the rest of the audience and even the music began to fade. Mark really was the most beautiful person in the room, inside and out and Yuta was lucky man able to marry him; the thought made Yuta choke up. He didn’t think he’d cry this soon into the ceremony, but here he was, tears spilling out of his eyes at the sight of his fiancé.

Eye contact was made, Mark shyly smiled at Yuta, which only made his tears escape and roll down his cheeks. Mark immediately noticed Yuta crying, and sped up his pace so he could comfort Yuta sooner. When Mark reached the altar, he reached up to gently wipe Yuta’s tears away and held his hand for comfort. Yuta smiled down at Mark to assure him that he was okay.

The officiator was a kindly old man, who looked pleased to be attending Mark and Yuta’s wedding, despite probably having done many that week already. Yuta didn't really care though, all he could see was Mark in front of him and it was Yuta’s turn to say his vows first:

“Markie, you have made my life better in every way you could imagine. Truly. I like to think that I’ve always known you’d be my soulmate, as soon as we met. You were one of the first people I talked to here in South Korea - did you know I was so afraid and unsure of my choices up until that point? I’d worked so hard to get accepted as a trainee, and yet I was so intimidated that I considered going back home but then I met you. As soon as you smiled at me, I was whipped; I knew I was going to do everything in my power to keep that smile on your face and I also knew that everything was going to be okay. I’m glad I stayed, because I wouldn’t want to live in a reality without you. Everything feels like a dream, I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you Markie. I love you.”

Mark had started crying once Yuta began talking, and as much as Yuta wanted to comfort the younger, he had to finish his vows first. Yuta was still crying and his last few words were a little choked up, but neither Mark, nor the audience minded. It was now Mark’s turn to say his vows but he was crying too much to get out a full sentence. Trying his best to encourage Mark, Yuta leant down to kiss the tears off Mark’s cheeks.

“Y-yuta, I just wanted to t-thank you for everything” Mark sniffles. “You’ve always been there for me, even when I didn’t deserve it. I know I was a lot to deal with, but I want to thank you for sticking with me throughout the years and waiting for me- I don't know where I would be without you. You complete me, not just as my soulmate, but as my fiancé and best friend too. You’ve also always gone above and beyond for me, you always surprise me with every selfless and kind gesture, and not a day goes by where I don't think about how lucky I am to have you. I’m so excited for this next chapter of our lives together. I love you too.” He finished, smiling up at Yuta and Yuta’s heart swelled.

The officiator cleared his throat and took his turn.

“If anyone has an objection to the union between Nakamoto Yuta and Mark Lee, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

The room was deathly silent, Mrs Nakamoto glared at everyone, ready to fight anyone who dared object. Thankfully, no one did. A loud sob from Ten (Mark’s brides-man of honour) broke the silence, leaving Johnny (Yuta’s best man) to quietly comfort him.

“Now do you, Nakamoto Yuta, take Mark Lee to be your husband, in sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?”

“I do.” Yuta replied without hesitation, he’d never been more sure of anything in his life.

“And do you, Mark Lee, take Nakamoto Yuta to be your husband, in sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?”

“I do.” Mark also replied immediately.

“… You may now kiss the groom.” Finished the officiator.

Yuta beamed and snaked his arm around Mark’s waist, dipping them both down, and so their noses touched. He leaned his face closer, never breaking eye contact, until their lips met. Funnily enough, there were still just as many fireworks as there were when they’d had their first kiss. The audience cheered for the newlyweds as they left the hall hand in hand.

//time skip//

The reception was lively, champagne and dancing being large features. However, the best part was the bouquet toss. After announcing their engagement to the other members months ago, Johnny had come up to Yuta asking for help on how to propose to Ten. Yuta’s first advice had been to do a huge gesture but after squealing to Mark, Mark got the idea that Johnny should propose at their wedding. Why? Ten liked to steal the show, and where else was better than in front of a large group of slightly inebriated people, at someone else’s wedding reception. Yuta likes to think about Mark’s stroke of genius.

Between the three of them, they’d developed the plan of Johnny’s proposal. They were going to make sure everyone knew, except for Ten. They were going to move out of the way, leaving Ten to be the only one to catch the falling bundle of flowers and just to be sure, Yuta was going to give Mark subtle directions so he could aim better.

By some miracle, everything had gone to plan. The bouquet had landed perfectly in Ten’s arms, who stopped to smell it with a smile and daydreamed about the day when Johnny would finally propose. Yuta watched in anticipation as Ten was in for the biggest surprise when he turned around. Seconds later, Ten pivoted and almost fell over. Johnny was on one knee, staring up at his boyfriend with a hopeful smile.

Yuta glanced sideways at his husband- Mark was fiddling with his engagement ring, a habit he’d picked up whenever he got nervous. He wasn’t sure why Mark was nervous, there was less of a chance that Ten would reject Johnny than Yuta was going to break up with Mark,, , and there was absolutely no chance of that happening.

“Ten, will you marry m-“ Johnny began, but wasn’t allowed to finish as Ten tackled him to the ground.

“YES! A MILLION TIMES YES! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO ASK? FOR A SECOND I THOUGHT WE WERE NEVER GETTING MARRIED AND THEN MY PINTEREST BOARD FILLED WITH TWO THOUSAND PICTURES WOULD HAVE BEEN WASTED, YOU STUPID, ABSOLUTE LOVE OF MY LIFE, WHO I CAN'T IMAGINE LIVING WITHOUT!” Ten shouted, while also crying.

“Baby, I had a whole speech prepared and everything,, , you don't want to hear it?”

“YES! I’d like to hear it later, I don't want to overshadow Yuta and Mark’s wedding too much” Ten laughed, but sobbed when Johnny slid the ring on his finger. The ring was beautiful, a large diamond sat in the middle, surrounded by a series of smaller diamonds. It was elegant and extravagant, a perfect description of Ten.

//time skip//

Hours later, most of the guests had left already, leaving mainly the 23 members of NCT, and a few other guests. Taeyong, though they’d already done the speeches for the reception already, stood up again. Jaehyun stared at him, as Taeyong was slightly tipsy, but made no move to stop him.

“Attention everyone!” Taeyong spoke, and everyone turned their heads to look at him.

“What is it Taeyong?” Yuta said offhandedly, as he picked off bits of cake from his hair that Mark had so kindly shoved in his face earlier that evening.

“I was just thinking, that your wedding was so nice you know? Like, it was so beautiful, you really outdid yourself Kun” Kun only grumbled in response, shipping some more champagne. Taeyong continued. “Anyway, all of the guests were lovely too and it almost makes me wish that when Jaehyun and I got married a year ago, we’d had a bigger ceremony. Then again, I wouldn’t change a thing-“

Taeyong didn't get to finish that sentence. Everyone had a wide look of surprise, except Kun, and started assaulting Taeyong with questions.

“WAIT YOU’RE MARRIED?” Screeches Chenle.

“AND TO JAEHYUN HYUNG?” Jisung continues.

“AND FOR A WHOLE YEAR?” Says Doyoung.

“YEAH, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US?” Hendery screams indignantly.

“Eh well it never seemed to come up in conversation, we just forgot I guess-“ Jaehyun shrugs absentmindedly.

“HOW DO YOU JUST FORGET TO TELL PEOPLE THE FACT THAT YOU'RE MARRIED?!” Everyone yells in unison.

Taeyong interrupts. “To be fair, it’s not like you were very observant, you never questioned anything. I’ve been wearing an engagement ring for years, we both left on holiday for two weeks to the Maldives, at the same time, on our own and I’m pretty sure the manager has come in to ask how married life has been treating us, in front of all of you. Not to mention that we also have a daughter, Jasmine, she was literally the flower girl just now and you questioned nothing. We didn't try to hide it at all-“

“Don't bother Taeyong, they’re just really dense.” Kun deadpans.

“HEY! We’re not dense!” The rest of the group whines. Mark pouted, and while he was undoubtedly one of the least observant people in the room, Yuta cooed and pinched his cheeks while also reassuring his husband that he wasn’t ‘dense’.

Kun raises his hand to silence them. “You really are, Jaeyong have been so obvious. Besides, you guys still haven’t noticed how Winwin and I have been dating for the past five years. You're in no place to argue with me.”

“Wait,, , they really didn't notice?” Taeyong giggles.

“I know right?” Kun starts laughing too, leaning on Winwin for support.

“Stop making fun of us~” The group huffs.

“Mother’s rights” Kun and Taeyong say simultaneously.

“Wait wait wait,, , if you knew that we didn't know,, , why not just tell us?” Yuta questions.

“We thought it was funny, made it into a competition to see who’s relationship status got found out first” They replied.

Jungwoo, who had been silent the whole time spoke up: “It really has been super obvious, the only reason anyone knows that Lucas and I are engaged is because he immediately told everyone after I said yes. I highly doubt any of you aside from Kun and Taeyong would have noticed any other way.

The man, now satisfied, turns back to feeding his long term fiancé (they’re not in a rush to get married), Lucas, some more of the wedding cake. Lucas happily accepts and they remove themselves from the conversation.

“Guys, where did Donghyuck and Yangyang go?” Mark asks, checking around the room to see if he’d missed them.

Jungwoo shrugs, now sitting on Lucas’s lap. “I saw them go into one of the storage closets earlier, I think it’s best we don't disturb them.”

“Yeah,, , let’s not do that. Isn’t it crazy how Yangyang forgot how Haechan’s real name is Donghyuck, so he never bothered to contact him?” Ponders Renjun.

“Honestly, it made poor Donghyuck think that Yangyang hated him, so he avoided Yangyang,, ,” Jeno replies.

“Seemed to have moved past it now though” Jaemin smirks and grabs Jeno’s hand under the table.

//time skip//

Mark’s POV

Yuta and Mark took the time to say goodbye to all of the guests, before they left for their honeymoon. The last guests to leave were Eunji, her wife and their daughter. It was funny how they met- after Eunji apologised, both Mark and Yuta eventually forgave her (it took a bit more convincing from Mark to convince Yuta though).

A few years ago, Eunji was hanging out with the boys at the dorms, ironically complaining about how she hadn’t found her soulmate yet when the manager came in with his daughter. They realised that they were soulmates after they were introduced. They hit it off immediately, both having waited to meet each other for a while and got married soon after. Eunji finding her real soulmate was a blessing. The small family came to say goodbye.

“Thank you so much for having us” Eunji says happily while balancing a toddler on her hip. Their daughter Eunmi, had turned two recently so she was starting to speak more. “Come on sweetheart, say goodbye to Uncle Mark~”

Mark waves gently at the little girl. Eunmi babbles and grabs Mark’s finger, which causes her to giggle happily. He coos at the toddler for a little longer, but grudgingly lets her go, with the promise that they’ll come visit soon.

The hall was now empty except for them.

“I love you”

“I love you too, Markie”

Mark looks up at his husband innocently, but slyly wrapping his arms around Yuta’s neck for support, Mark gets on his tiptoes and whispers in his ear:

“Can we have a baby?”