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I.
I first laid my eyes on you and the first words that I could think of are I, like and you. You were the most beautiful person I have ever seen. I am not even exaggerating if I say that when I saw your smile, my heart did a somersault.
It was a fine Tuesday afternoon when I saw you from where you were seated. I was on my way out of my restaurant when someone cute caught my attention. And there you were, giggling probably from too much excitement. You were basically jumping from your seat while giving your order and I just can’t take my eyes away from you. Something about you reels me in. Let me tell you that that was a first.
Like.
I was gonna come your way and maybe say hi. Put my flirting game in action but I was interrupted. I was annoyed at the person but it was my best friend so I guess I’ll deal with it first. When I came back, you were gone. Just like the wind, yes. I was only out for a few minutes but when I look back, it’s as if you were never there. It was such a bummer. I thought I might be finally starting something special, something beautiful I always avoided in my entire life. I guess it wasn’t meant to be.
You.
Then a second time presented itself. It’s most likely the universe that made a way for me to see you again. Though I am not a firm believer, you made me think that maybe this is fate? But then something came up and you were interrupted. You went out and I totally lost my only possible second chance of getting at least your name. My mood went really down. Whatever force that hinders us , it should have stayed home and stopped coming in between. Yes, I could be cheesy. I wanted to go home after my mood went sour but I promised my friends I’ll stay. So I did. And boy am I glad I did. Who would have thought I’m gonna see you the third time around. On top of it, you were being matched to me, by our friends. Third time’s a charm. And it surely is.
Really.
Then there was an us. Not yet official but we both know that there was a mutual understanding that binds us together. Cringey? Indeed. You make me smile whenever I am with you. I tell jokes and you laugh. I talk about a bunch of stuff you probably have no idea about and you listen. I make you food, and you enjoy eating it. I got tired and you were there to cheer me up. I got sick and you were better than any doctor in taking care of me. I was alone and then you came. You exist and I am in bliss. You were literally my sunshine. We may have met for only a few months but you made such a great impact in my daily life. It was so hard not to think of you for a single minute. Really.
Please.
I wished and hoped a lot that the good days will not end. Us is enough for me. But unfortunately not for you. You went mum. You lost your smile when you’re with me. You left me hanging in our happy place. Or maybe I was the only one who was thinking that we have our own happy place. I don’ t want to force you. We could have stayed the same. I would have been okay with just probably being friends. Honestly, I won’t. But I will be there for you yet you left me hanging. You faced it alone. You never asked me. You disregard your own happiness. You never asked me. Why?
Accept.
Instead of finding the answer on my own, I wanted it to come from you. I was never a quitter. And so I ran after you. I never stopped. I wanted to ask you. Alas, you looked back. With teary eyes, you looked back at me. Your eyes were still the most beautiful orbs I’ve seen, though at that time, it held a thousand of emotions you intended not to share. Not with the people you cherish the most, not even with me. But I am not a quitter. I am glad I ran after you. You let me chase you. You let me catch you. You came back to my arms. Finally, I can ask you. And so I did.
My.
You were afraid. You told me at last. You don’t want to be unfair. Not to me, not to yourself. For that I am thankful. You were hurting alone but all you could think of were others. And so I told you what you did wrong. A new feeling is scary. But you don’t have to be alone in exploring it. You give me your whole attention that night. You listened, no, you were listening and understanding. Thank you. You trusted my heart. And you finally asked me.
Heart.
Yes, I will never leave you. Yes, what we feel is real. You don’t have to be afraid. You are worth every single thing. Yes, you deserve to be happy. Yes, you deserve to find the missing piece. It is true that both of us were never broken but we know that we were both empty. And yes, you deserve to have the missing piece. Yes, you deserve to be complete.
****
“I really really---”
“Cheesy! Jihoon-ah, I know I am completely responsible for you falling in love. After all, me and Mashi were the ones who introduced you to Hyunsuk hyung. But do I have to listen to your proposal speech? I mean, you’re not gonna ask him to marry you! You’re just gonna ask him to be your boyfriend. What is wrong with you and your cheesy ass?”
Junkyu couldn’t help but release his burst of anger towards his bestfriend who “hostaged” him and made him listen over and over again with his speech he wrote for three days straight. He just wants to cuddle with his long-time boyfriend Mashiho but he is held captive by a panda who doesn’t know how to confess properly. Jihoon is a hopeless inexperienced romantic. So even if Junkyu wanted to leave his bestfriend and let him solve his “problem” alone, he really could not. It is like he said, he is responsible for them meeting up. Well, not only him but his Mashiho is at fault too for making their friends head over heels at each other. But if they were to be asked if they will do it again, oh definitely.
Hyunsuk has been a special person for Jihoon ever since he met the guy. They were inseparable though unlabeled. But today, it will be different. Jihoon is willing to take the risk and make Hyunsuk his. Unuttered words are merely enough these days and he knows, the latter feel the same way too. It’s just that no one was brave enough to step up so Jihoon decided to be the one to break their status quo. He will show up at his apartment today and surprise the other with flowers and maybe his favorite burger.
He was about to leave his restaurant when surprisingly Hyunsuk walks in, panting as if he just ran a marathon. Worry filled Jihoon seeing the ever composed Hyunsuk walk in such a state, crouching down from exhaustion. He immediately ran towards the elder and checked to see if he was hurt. To see how Jihoon is worried over the newcomer, Junkyu could gag at the biggest change he had ever seen in his bestfriend. A bachelor with no interest in love and a hopeless romantic who could not find love in a single frame. What a lovely sight.
“Hyunsuk hyung, are you okay? What happened? Please tell me everything is fine.” Jihoon’s voice is laced with so much worry that Hyunsuk can’t calm his pounding heart. Those eyes who have embraced him in his lowest and weakest, the arms that kept him safe from his most vulnerable times, the man who taught him the real meaning of love. He is here for one reason and no, it’s not the gourmet burgers of the place.
“Park Jihoon.” Hyunsuk started after catching his breath, standing fully and eyes determined this time.
“I… I really really like you! Will you be my boyfriend please?!”
The other is in utter shock. He should have been the one to ask him but here is his Hyunsuk surprising him instead. What about his speech? What about the flowers he is about to pick up? He doesn’t deserve this lovely surprise from the elder. Hyunsuk deserves this more than he does even if he probably does too as much as Hyunsuk does.
And with all his heart, with his sweetest smile, with his stomach filled with butterflies, Jihoon answered.
“I’m sorry.”