Chapter Text
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“Come again?”
Historia gave a little exasperated sigh as her hand settled gently on her still flat stomach. She hadn’t been quite sure how to tell him. Ever since the physician’s visit, all she could think about is how she was going to break the news to her lover. She just decided to rip off the bandage. He wouldn’t appreciate unnecessarily grand gestures.
“I’m pregnant. About 10 weeks,” she repeated. And Levi’s expression hadn’t changed.
His eyes were wide and there was a shattered tea cup on the floor. She sighed again. He wasn’t going to be too happy about that.
The next thing out of his mouth was probably the most un-Levi question that she’d ever heard.
“...how?”
She blinked, resisting the urge to whine, “What do you mean how ? You were there!”
“You know what I meant, brat,” he answered as the initial shock of subsided and he began to compose himself. He needed a minute, got it.
She just stood there and waited. And honestly, she didn’t know what she was expecting. Maybe it was the shock. Maybe it was his brain scrambling. And at any other time time, she would’ve found his following words downright hilarious.
“Shit! Tea everywhere! And that was some damn nice china as well!”
And now, Historia whined.
“Really? I just gave you some life altering news and you’re upset about some spilled tea?”
He mumbled something along the lines of questioning if he’ll ever know peace as he cleaned the bits of china off of the carpet.
“One of the servants will get that. Hello? I need you to be present right now! Because I need you,” she waves a hand in his face, which she knows he finds irritating but who honestly gives a damn.
They were having a baby.
That was definitely not part of the plan.
Of course, maybe they should’ve been a little more careful. This was a natural consequence of the relationship that they had. And now, they would have to deal with it.
And they weren’t even married. Oh. Shit. Well, that would have to be rushed now.
He looked her dead in the eye then. The look in his eye was completely serious as he stood up. He gently grabbed her shoulders and gave them a tight squeeze. He was catching his own breath. Honestly? She couldn’t blame him.
She hadn’t been able to stand for at least an hour when she’d received the news.
“Are you absolutely sure?” he asked, his voice was so low and she hardly heard him.
She nods slowly.
Another sharp inhale. She watched his face the entire time. His eyes were more expressive than he’d like her to believe so it was like he was intentionally closing them to block her out. Probably not.
It was the longest half a minute of her life. And when he did say something?
“Damn…”
She snorted before removing one of his hands from her shoulder and placing it flat against her stomach. This was happening. This was real.
Levi didn’t really know how to react. He just stared intently at her stomach for a few moments.
“I guess I never really...pictured myself as a dad,” he whispered honestly. “I don’t really know how to be one.”
She understood. She really did. She didn’t really know how to be a mother either. She had a rather poor point of reference.
She stepped closer to him until the small space between them. No more words were needed. Their arms were locked around each other and his face was buried in the crown of her head.
It was something that he always did when overcome with emotions that he wasn’t quite sure how to deal with. He was happy. She could tell just from the gentle way that he held her, the small smile she could feel against her hair, and the complete lack of snarky comments. Scared but happy.
And it gave her a bit of strength…
The next few months went by in a blur for Levi. Suddenly he went from sneaking around like a hormonal teenager to an expectant father. And now a husband as well. And truly, he couldn’t find himself complaining much. He had never been allowed to have happiness for longer than a few moments and truth be told? He was scared shitless.
Everything just kept going right. There was just something about lying next to his wife and waking up to her beautiful face that gave him an overwhelming sense of peace.
He still wasn’t sure if he deserved it or not.
Whether or not he did, however, was completely irrelevant now. The slow but steady rate at which Historia’s belly was swelling made everything feel all the more real. Whether it was deserved or not, it was happening. In a few very short months, he would be a father.
“Holy shit…” he muttered as he mused one day. They were in the nursery, which was finished just a short while ago. It was real.
Historia was sitting on the rocking chair. Her feet were killing her. She looked up at him and frowned, “What is it?”
He shook his head, “Just thinking about things, that’s all.”
She didn’t press the issue. She never did. There was a quiet understanding between them and he was grateful for it.
Later, she wanted to go out into the open fields. Just the two of them.
He gave her a questioning look and she just smiled, “I just want to look up at the night sky a bit. It’s a beautiful night and you don’t have anywhere to be for once. So why not?”
When he agreed, he surprised even himself.
This brat had really made him into a fool. And he was perfectly happy to be one as long as he was her fool.
Shit. He was never going to say that out loud. Even to her.
They sat on a small blanket on the gentle slop of a hill. She leaned against his chest and his arms were wrapped protectively around her. His hands were rubbing gentle circles around her bump.
They were quiet for several moments as she gazed up at the sky. Levi never found time or interest in enjoying these simple things. Actually, it was more like he never had the luxury. Who knew a passionate affair with a queen would lead to something like this?
It was strange how life worked. But somewhere between forcing her on the throne of Paradis and spending hours on end with her at the orphanage, something changed. Which inevitably led him straight to her bed. It had completely been against his better judgment.
And yet, here he was. Without consequences or tragedy. He still couldn’t believe it.
He lightly peppered kisses everywhere he could reach: the crown of her head, the tops of her ears, the delicate curve of her neck, her cheek, and the corner of her mouth.
She hummed happily. He knew that she loved it when he lavished her with physical affection. It wasn’t very often but she never demanded it either.
It was becoming easier, but by no means was it often.
“What brought this on?” he asked after a while?
“Hm?”
“The stargazing. Never you pegged you as the type,” he elaborated, burying his face in her locks again. He felt her shrug.
“It’s peaceful. We don’t really get to have moments like this.”
He hummed in agreement.
“Besides, isn’t it beautiful?” she asked.
“Hm. Yeah. Very pretty,” he responded. He wasn’t looking at the sky.
She didn’t seem to notice. She seemed to be content in his arms, looking at the night sky, and delighting in life’s simplest pleasures. It made her happier than he’d ever seen her. Levi was glad that he could give that to her now.
It was getting late. If they didn’t get back soon, the whole damn palace was going to be in an uproar. They really shouldn’t have been out here that long. But as it was with her, he didn’t care. She was right. It was so rare to have moments like this.
Did that make him sentimental? Maybe. He honestly didn’t give a damn at this point.
“See that?” she suddenly said, her finger pointing to something in the sky. He looked up to where she was pointing. He frowned.
A star. There were millions of them up there. Of course he could see it.
“What about it?” he asked.
“It’s the brightest one in the sky. That’s our little star,” she answered. She lowered her hand to place it on top of his own. “And soon, it’ll be down here on earth with us.”
He didn’t really know how to respond to that. It was a precious sentiment, sure. Not that he really had much experience with that. He knew what she was trying to say even if it went completely over his head a bit.
He chose not to comment and continued to cuddle her. Yes, this was nice…
The months seemed to fly by and yet went at a snail’s pace for Historia. Her baby grew and her belly was swelling a little more every day, but she was ready to meet her.
Yes. Her. Historia was almost certain at this point that it was a girl.
And also she spent most of her day on her butt. Moving was a pain and she couldn’t get very far before her feet and back started to kill her. And even if she tried, Levi didn’t let her. If she needed anything, he would get it for her.
Levi being the doting type seemed to shock everyone. Not her though. She fully expected this. He was one of the most caring people she’d ever known. He was rough around the edges and prickly, but he was extremely caring. And when they were alone together, he was entirely doting. She wouldn’t have it any other way.
She was cranky though as she entered the final months. It was hot. She couldn’t see her feet anymore. Everyone hovered over like she was a fragile doll that could break. The entire island was abuzz because any day now, she was expected to pop.
Oh no. She was not staying in the cities where the royal birth was going to be some huge spectacle. Just the thought of it stressed her out. Levi agreed—rather enthusiastically—to relocate to a more secluded part of the island. Only Levi’s squad and a few MPs were aware of her location.
Yes. This was nice. No one to bother her here.
Except for her husband. Because now, he was reminding him of the one thing that they had forgotten to do. One small, crucial little detail.
“Do you have any ideas? We can’t just call it ‘kid’ or ‘brat’ for the rest of our lives,” he pointed out.
Historia rolls her eyes, “Only you call her that.”
The pronoun slip didn’t go unnoticed.
“ Her ?” he arched an eyebrow. Now that he was actually looking right at her, she was able to get a very nice view of his shirtless form. Damn. She was a very lucky lady.
Historia grinned, “Yeah. I’m almost certain it’s a girl.”
“Hmm…” his face was stoic as ever but there was a gleam in his eye. “So then? Do you have a name or not?”
She had. She wasn’t going to lie. Early on in the pregnancy, she had thought of a few names. She still didn’t have a name for a boy, though. All the men that meant anything to her were all still alive and very present in her life.
For a girl, however, that was a completely different story…
“I was thinking...Ymir?” she watched for his reaction.
They hadn’t really talked about it very much. Their past lovers. Well, Levi hadn’t. Though she could remember one from those first days of knowing each other. He had particularly soft on her. Historia never pushed him to talk about it.
It was impossible for Historia to never bring her up every now and again. And the woman she had loved was never far from her mind either.
And if she could honor her memory in any way, she couldn’t think of a better or more fitting way.
When Levi didn’t answer, she backtracked.
“If you have any names you’d prefer-” she began only to be cut off by his shaking head.
“No. No, it’s a good name…”
“Are you sure?” she asked, not quite convinced.
“Yeah. The name means something to you. I was just thinking maybe…” he trailed off.
Well, that was odd. Levi wasn’t one to shy away from speaking his mind. Though, he wasn’t really used to something like this either.
“What?” she questioned, sitting up straighter.
“My mother. Have her name in there somewhere?”
Oh, was that all? Levi never mentioned his mother. Actually he never really mentioned the people in his life before she had come into it. It wasn’t because he was intentionally secretive, it was just that it was painful. She knew that he’d been forced to cut down friends and comrades. He had seen more people die than anyone should ever have to.
Yet he was here, trying his best. Trying to make this work. It was such a small request. A small request that meant so much.
She was more than happy to oblige.
“You don’t have to ask. But my answer is yes,” she smiled at him. She was rewarded with one of those small smiles that he only reserved for her.
“What was her name?” Historia realized that she didn’t even know the woman’s name. Perhaps she should push for him to open up just a little more.
“Kuchel…”
He sounded almost sad to say it, as if the name had been stuck on his tongue for decades. Sadness wasn’t reflected on his face, however. He looked relieved more than anything.
“I think that’s a lovely name…”
What an idiotic rule.
Not allowed in the birthing room? Even as the father? Stupid!
“You’re going to make a hole in the floor. Sit down,” he growled at the only person who could order him to do anything and not be fazed. Surely enough, Mikasa did not look fazed.
“Shut up, brat. I should be in there.”
The scream did not help one bit. How long had it been? 6 hours? What was taking so long?
No one else said anything for the longest time. And when he heard yet another scream and cry from Historia, it took the efforts of his entire team to keep him from ripping the door off its hinges like a feral animal.
Traditions be damned, she needed him.
It was a long night.
What was it? 18 hours now? When was the last time he ate anything?
Did he care? He just wanted to see his wife. He wanted to see his baby. He wanted this to be over. He just needed all this to end. Happily.
Life had never been so kind.
“Please,” he pleaded to no one in particular. Whoever was responsible for this. Whoever was listening and could actively do something about it. He was just pleading at this point.
They still wouldn’t let him in there. That was a tradition and rule that needed to go. And he heard her screams and cries through the night. He’d never felt so powerless. And worse, there was this guilt. That was his child that she was laboring so hard to bring into the world. He had a responsibility here and all he could do was pace outside and yell at anyone unlucky enough to even look his way.
His thoughts went around in this never ending and, frankly, annoying loop of guilt and terror. Until he heard the shrill, high-pitched cry that he’d been waiting to hear for the past day. His heart was about to beat right out of his ribcage.
Damn it all, they were not keeping him out now. He’d love to see them try.
Thankfully, no one actually did. He opened the door. What a sight to greet him too.
Historia looked exhausted, sweaty. Her eyes were bloodshot and her face was completely flushed. Somehow, he’d never thought she’d ever looked more beautiful. Especially with the small bundle that rested in the crook of her arm.
“Congratulations. A small, healthy princess,” the physician informed.
Huh. Historia had been right after all.
And the relief that both of them were safe and healthy won out more than any other emotion. Levi didn’t even have to dismiss the physician, he just bowed and left the room. For a few seconds, Levi and Historia just gazed at each other.
“Meet your daughter,” she whispered, beckoning him over. She sounded even more exhausted than she looked.
In two long strides, he made his way over to the side of her bed. He leaned down and softly kissed her dampened brow before glancing down at the small bundle.
“She’s…” his voice was stuck in his throat when he got a good look at her. She was perfect. There was really no other way to describe it. He couldn’t make out her features properly though from what he could see, she was almost exactly identical to her mother.
He let out a sigh of relief.
But she was perfect. The most beautiful creature he’d ever laid eyes on. And in this shitty world that he often thought he’d been unlucky enough to have been born into, another bright light appeared. Whatever doubts or fears he had melted away.
“She’s gorgeous,” Historia finished his thought, sniffling a bit.
“You did well,” he said, his eyes never leaving his tiny infant daughter. He was pretty sure that his heart was thumping loud enough for everyone on the island to hear. Whatever. He couldn’t help it.
Historia laughed breathlessly, “Thank you.”
A few moments of silence. Levi found himself sitting on the edge of the bed, gathering his small family into his arms. He couldn’t stop staring. He couldn’t find a single word to describe the feeling. The best he could do was call it a high. Because it was.
When he reached down, her tiny fist curled around his finger. Her grip was already so strong. She was tiny, but already so strong.
Historia must’ve heard the sharp intake of breath because it caused her to laugh. Levi failed to see what was funny but he was still to entranced with his tiny daughter to really ask.
“Yup. She’s an Ackerman alright,” he commented.
“I was thinking just the same thing. Good to know that didn’t disappear. She’ll be throwing guards twice her size by the time she’s 10,” Historia joked. It made him bristle a bit.
He sincerely hoped not.
Her eyes opened and he found himself staring into a mirror. They were wider than his, but the same stormy blue-gray. He never cried, but he forced himself to swallow the lump that was forming in his throat.
Historia was exhausted and after nursing the newborn, she allowed herself to rest. Finally, Levi was alone with the infant and he found himself walking around the room. He just stared at the sleeping baby, marveling at her perfect features. Time would tell who she would resemble more.
She woke up as he leaned against the window, the moonlight hitting her face. There was something about her eyes lighting up and staring back at him. She really was identical to her mother. He was completely gone for her and he knew it.
“Hey, it’s past your bedtime,” he whispered. She answered with a coo before reaching up to grab his face. He let her.
She was a curious thing already, wasn’t she?
Precious. Absolutely precious.
So precious that it almost terrified him. She was strong already, it was true. But she was so tiny and fragile. He gently grabbed her tiny hand and pressed it against his cheek.
“Hey Ymir,” he spoke her name for the first time. “I really don’t know how to be a dad. I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do. But I’ll do my best for you. Will you help me?”
She cooed in response to his question. It was as if she understood exactly what he was saying. He’d take that as a yes.
He pressed his lips to her tiny brow, already there were wisps of blonde hair growing.
“You really are perfect, aren’t you?”
Another coo.
He held his baby to his chest, refusing to let go. As he did so, he stared at his wife’s sleeping form. She looked so content and at peace. It gave him a sense of peace. He really had to pinch himself every now and again to believe it. This was his life now. After all the horror and tragedy, he was finally granted this.
Yeah. He could definitely get used to this.