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harin always saw this boy... was it... hyungu? he was pretty sure his name was hyungu. this boy seemed charming but spent his days at school by himself. sometimes, harin hesitated to go to him, ask him if he wanted company. but he never did.
two years of being in the same class and harin always found an excuse not to go talk to him. frankly, he felt a bit shy, but also thought, maybe hyungu liked being alone?
he was always reading books or listening to music on his ipod, he barely even participated in class. girls seemed to like him but he barely talked to the ones who tried to get his attention. he probably was just the type of person who prefers being by themself.
hyungu had felt the taller boy staring at him many times. but he never said anything, barely even showed that he noticed him. he wanted to ask harin if something was wrong. but he never did.
hyungu was always quiet and wasn't the most fond of interacting with people he didn't know. so he couldn't bring himself to talk to harin.
he figured it was nothing, or the oldest would have approached him. plus, harin was a little intimidating, always hanging out with jocks, and his strong features made him look even harder to talk to.
hyungu wouldn't have minded a friend though. while he enjoyed his own company, he also felt out of place, all the kids in his class had at least one or two friends, but hyungu did everything by himself.
the only people who had approached him were girls, asking if he had a girlfriend, if he could give them his number. he never agreed though. why were girls who don't know anything about him interested in him? his mysterious aura? it felt too superficial to bond with them.
they both graduated from high school, and on the last day of school, they still hadn't tried talking to each other. as the students were all leaving, harin felt weight on his chest. it was probably nothing, right? just the anxiety of leaving high school, the end of a chapter in his life, the end of his teenage years and the beginning of his adult life, in university.
he waved goodbye to the remaining people in the classroom. he caught one last glimpse on the quiet boy, said goodbye to everyone with a smile on his face, and finally left.
oh no, why was the weight getting worse as he kept walking away? he was a sentimental, but not that sentimental to leave high school... it's probably nothing though. just stress, because he was about to start university.
hyungu left that same classroom, he was so happy to finally leave this school.
so why did his heart drop right when harin left?
and why did it feel like he had lost someone dear to him, when they have barely said two words to each other during the four years where they were in the same grade?
hyungu brushed it off. it was nothing.
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hyungu had seen this kid in town so many times. he was small and always carried a leopard print guitar case on his back. he was always hanging out with the popular kids, especially sunwoo who was a known heartbreaker who made all the girls swoon (at least the ones hyungu was friends with on facebook).
even if they were one or two years younger than hyungu, hyungu felt a little anxious anytime he crossed paths with them. that leopard kid seemed kind and smiley, and most of all, he carried a guitar - or maybe a bass - so he was probably interested in music like hyungu was.
hyungu loved composing songs on his guitar, and even came up with lyrics so many times, but never really put them out there. he figured maybe someday he would record something, and post it on youtube, soundcloud or something like that. or he could try to sell his songs.
he had dreamed of being a famous guitarist, but that's all it was, a dream, a childhood dream, but now he was going to study business in university, he had no time for dreams.
but maybe that leopard bassist would try to pursue his dreams. hyungu had never spoken to that kid, but every time he had seen him, heard him talk and laugh with his friends, something in hyungu felt warm. maybe he projected a little on that kid, or something.
giuk had noticed that older boy looking at him and his bass guitar case, multiple times, when he was in town with his friends after school. he knew that guy was in the same school as him, but he didn't know much about him.
giuk thought it was probably because of the leopard print, which usually intrigued people, some people thought the leopard print was way too tacky, way too much and some told giuk it looked cool. giuk loved leopard prints because of his mom, but he never really brought it up.
after the summer break, giuk realized he didn't see that guy in school anymore, and didn't see him around town either. he figured that guy had probably graduated and he might never see him again. giuk didn't really understand why, but as the realization sunk in, his heart felt heavy.
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giuk had grown up in the same neighborhood as two same aged kids, they were twins named dongmyeong and dongju. although him and the twins were born in the same month, and had lived for a few years close to each other, giuk and them never really talked except for the occasional "hello" when they came home from school at the same time. they weren't even in the same school, so they had no real reason to talk to each other.
despite that, giuk was used to seeing them often, and these guys seemed nice and sweet. he knew dongmyeong was in an art school, he was probably a creative boy just like giuk. he really wanted to know what dongmyeong's art looked like. but he never dared go to him and ask. he might do eventually, but for now, he didn't.
except "eventually" was closer than expected. one day when he came home from school, he passed by the son twins' house and saw the moving truck filled with the family's furniture. giuk realized the boys were moving away. but he couldn't bring himself to go to them and ask why they were moving away or where they were going. so he went home.
later, he learned their parents got divorced so they sold the house. giuk felt guilty. he had seen dongmyeong so many times, and he never noticed something was happening in his life. this boy always seemed happy and smiley, but giuk never bothered to ask if he was okay. all they said to each other when they met was "hi", giuk never tried to talk to him more. he felt guilty even if they weren't friends, because they could have been friends.
dongmyeong didn't feel too sad about his parents' divorce.
unlike dongju. his brother felt guilty because their parents had been fighting a lot ever since dongju decided to be an idol, and got selected to become a trainee.
dongmyeong felt okay. but that last evening before they left, he never felt so empty. maybe it was leaving the house he grew up in. maybe it was the familiarity. he started crying uncontrollably when he saw that neighborhood boy, giuk, look at them when they were finishing moving out.
giuk stood there for a while, as if he wanted to say something, but didn't. dongmyeong saw it. and that was the last straw. he had felt strong for not crying, but now he was crumbling down. he didn't know what he was feeling all he could do was cry. why was he feeling so empty so suddenly?
he obviously thought it was just because he was going to miss his old life. but weeks and months later, he kept thinking about how he missed giuk. but how can you miss someone you have barely talked to? that felt silly. he was just missing his old house, his old life.
probably.
-----
while dongju was busy being a trainee, dongmyeong worked hard in school to be able to be accepted in the university of his dreams.
and he did. his parents were so proud of him, and even if he didn't see his brother that often, he knew dongju was very proud too.
next week, he would fly to london, to enroll into a prestigious art school.
moving abroad wasn't an easy decision, but he thought he would make it work. dongmyeong was always a top student in english class, and he figured going to the uk could only strengthen his skills.
still, dongmyeong was scared, and the thought of seeing his twin brother even less was breaking his heart a little.
that night, they met up to see a concert together, dongju's treat, as a farewell gift.
dongmyeong had no idea who they came to see, because what mattered to him was just to see his brother, as long as he was spending a bit of time with dongju, everything was fine.
as soon as the guy walked on stage, dongmyeong felt the energy shift. everything felt right. and when the man opened his mouth to sing, dongmyeong was completely blown away. he had to listen to this yonghoon guy's music, how had he never heard of that guy before?
for a few hours, dongmyeong felt amazing, all the stress of moving to a different country, far from korea, speaking a different language, not seeing his family for months, none of that mattered in this room. all that mattered to dongmyeong was his brother's hand in his and the warm voice of the singer filling dongmyeong's heart. he felt safe and right where he should be.
the charismatic singer closed the concert by thanking the fans. he looked at the crowd, and dongmyeong could've sworn he made direct eye contact with him, which made him feel butterflies in his stomach. lights were turned on and yonghoon got out of the stage.
the twins walked out of the venue, hearts still beating fast and big smiles on their face.
slowly, dongmyeong felt the adrenaline wash out and suddenly, he felt sadness fill his insides instead.