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Cloud burst into Seventh Heaven like a man possessed, surrounded by his friends in the Avalanche group. They were all in a panic, but none so more than Cloud – he was hysterical. He held the limp body of his fiancé close to his body, tears streaming down his face as he willed you to stay alive.
Please. I can’t bear to lose anyone else.
I couldn’t survive it.
Desperation took over his legs as he charged up the stairs behind the bar, gingerly laying you down on the bed in the first available room.
“No no no!” He choked out, frantically trying to stop the bleeding in your abdomen and legs with whatever sheets and quilts were nearby.
“Cloud,” Tifa said, a hint of urgency in her voice. She placed a hand on his shoulder as he sobbed over your semi-conscious form, trying to pull him away from you so she could begin assessing the damage.
You had been on a run-of-the-mill mission for Avalanche, but the group had been split up and you had ended up being jumped by a group of hounds in the Shinra complex. Normally, you had no problem taking care of yourself, but they had caught you by surprise, and you had paid for it big time. Even in your half-asleep state, you could still hear Cloud’s anguished cry as they sunk their teeth into your flesh.
“Cloud.” Tifa repeated, more sternly this time, “Let me work.”
“Y/N… Y/N Please… Please don’t leave me,” he murmured to you quietly, not paying attention to anything else that was going on. He was shaking like a leaf, and he felt a tightness in his chest as he struggled to get air in.
“Cloud! Get out of the fucking way before she bleeds to death!!” Barret shouted, horrified that Cloud had allowed himself to become so distraught that all his common sense had gone out the window. You needed medical attention – and fast.
Finally, Cloud turned to face the group, his pained eyes looking utterly lost and helpless. All he could manage in response was a nod, shuffling towards the head end of the bed and kneeling down on the floorboards beside you. He took your hand and held it tightly, kissing it just below where your engagement ring was sitting. It was a beautiful turquoise-blue stone set in silver, with filigree patterns engraved on the band, and you loved it because the gem reminded you of Cloud’s mako-infused eyes.
With his other hand, Cloud gently brushed your hair away from your clammy face as he looked down at Tifa, who was grimacing as she assessed your wounds. Cloud’s stomach dropped as he bit his lip and lowered his head, fearing the worst.
At that moment, you let out a weak cough and opened your E/C eyes, gazing over to Cloud.
“Y/N!” he exclaimed, placing a palm to the side of your face gently.
“Stay with me. Stay with me. You’re back at the bar. We’re gonna fix you up,” he said softly.
“Cloud, she’s haemorrhaging. We need to stop the bleeding and stitch her up, ASAP,” Tifa said quietly to him. She didn’t want you to overhear and panic.
“Where’s the healing materia?” he snapped at her under his breath.
“We don’t… We don’t have any,” she replied sadly. Cloud looked to the rest of the group desperately, his eyes pleading with each and every one of them. They all hung their heads.
“I’m sorry, Cloud,” Barret said, looking to the floor whilst Aerith let out a sob, grabbing onto Biggs.
“Just save her… Please.” Cloud begged, turning back to you with worry consuming his features.
There was a small commotion in the background as the team leaped into action, with some mutterings about fire materia, bandages and antiseptic. Cloud, desperate to keep you conscious, continued whispering sweet nothings to you as he came apart at the seams. He had already lost so many and seen too much death for one human to bear. It would be his undoing if he lost you too.
“Hey… Look at me,” he cooed, caressing your hair lovingly, “I love you… I love you…You’re gonna be Ok.”
“Barret, take her legs. Cloud you take the top half, and you keep her still - do you hear me?” Tifa instructed, her voice cracking slightly.
“Wait. What’s going on? What’re you doing?!” Cloud asked feverishly, eyeing Tifa as she opened a bottle of antiseptic. She poured a copious amount onto some clean fabric.
“Hold her, Cloud. This is going to hurt.”
He looked down to the end of the bed to see Barret begrudgingly holding your shins down. Barret couldn’t bring himself look back at Cloud, and eventually closed his eyes, trying to imagine he was anywhere else as the impending dread began to set in.
Tifa nodded at Cloud as she hovered the drenched material over one of your wounds, as if warning him to brace himself. In one swift move, she pressed it against you, and held it there.
You flinched as the liquid touched your open skin, weeping as much as your weak body would allow you to in this state. You tried to move away from the stinging sensation being inflicted on you, but you could not escape – you were being held down.
You looked to Cloud for respite and tried with little success to pull his arm off you. By looking into his beautiful ocean-like eyes, you could tell his heart was breaking. As Tifa cleaned the rest of your wounds, your body gradually became desensitised to the burning of the antiseptic, and all you could do was whimper quietly as the tears left your eyes.
“Biggs, the knife,” Tifa said.
“Knife?!” Cloud asked in horror. His eyes widened in alarm as Biggs brought over a knife that had been heated to an extremely high temperature with one of the only materia they did have – fire.
Realising what was coming next, Cloud shut his eyes for a moment and clenched his jaw, a fresh tear escaping. He held your hand even more tightly and looked at you guiltily, a lump forming in his throat.
“Cloud?” you croaked out, starting to worry about what was coming next.
“I’m so sorry. I’m here… I’m sorry…” he repeated over and over, as he placed his forehead against yours, holding you by the shoulder forcefully with his other hand.
Your eyes looked at him questioningly, terrified.
“Here goes,” Tifa said, gulping, lowering the scorching blade to your bleeding flesh.
This time, your body was most definitely not desensitised, and Cloud was not prepared for the sound that came out of your mouth.
It was brutal.
You screamed and screamed like a wounded animal, writhing against your human restraints. The sound you made was one of anguish, pain, and suffering. It was excruciating for him to listen to.
“Jesus Christ, will someone get her some fucking anaesthetic?!” Cloud yelled angrily at the entire room, still hysterical.
“We don’t have any!! Don’t you think we would have given it to her if we did?!” Tifa screamed back at him, almost starting to cry herself.
Cloud closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, slowly bringing his forehead back down to rest against yours. He dare not speak, for he was worried that if he did, he too might let out cries of anguish. How could he do that when he was not injured, and you were suffering so much? You felt his wet tears drip into your hair as he cried.
“I’m sorry… I’m sorry,” he kept saying to you, as if he thought it would help somehow.
Whilst Tifa continued cauterising each wound, you became more and more distressed, unable to take much more of the pain. It was endless, and the burning sensation lingered deep in your bones, even after the blade had been taken away. Honestly, you wanted to give up. Your body was giving out. You felt as though you were being tortured, and you wanted it to stop.
“Please. Please… just let me die!” You choked out in between screams, looking at Cloud pleadingly.
Cloud opened his eyes, torment apparent on his face. He looked down to Barret, who was still holding your legs, for support and assurance. Barret’s head was hung in shame, and he was flinching each time the blistering knife touched your skin.
Shaking, Cloud looked back at you. Visions of his mother and his friend Zack plagued him as he saw you barely cling to life.
“No… I can’t Y/N. I won’t. Please… Don’t leave me. Please,” he said, feeling selfish that he was asking you to continue suffering on his behalf.
But he couldn’t just let you die.
“Tifa – how much longer?!” he asked frantically, not taking his eyes off you.
“Just one more!”
“Y/N. I’m here. I’m so sorry. I need you to be brave for me, this is the last one. I promise,” he said, willing you to carry on.
Cloud tightened his grip on your shoulder, and you knew what was coming next. You shook your head at him desperately, begging him to make it stop, but it was too late.
You screamed again, gripping Cloud’s hand as though your life depended on it. He winced as the smell of burning flesh swept around the room once more, praying to himself that you would make it and that this endless agony wouldn’t end up being your final moments. He’d never forgive himself if they were.
“Ok, Aerith – needle and thread please,” Tifa finally called out, slight relief evident in her voice that the worst was now over.
Cloud exhaled, glad that he no longer had to watch you endure so much pain whilst he was unable to do a thing to help. As your wounds were sewn up expertly by Aerith, Tifa slumped against the wall, completely drained. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her hands were shaking. Lying limply on the bed, you fell in and out of consciousness as Aerith worked her magic.
Once Aerith had finished closing your wounds, she started placing dressings over them to keep them clean. Tifa had originally offered to do this, but she was way too shaken up to help at this point.
“Ok, thanks everyone. I think Cloud and I can take it from here. You guys get some rest,” Aerith suggested as she worked, glancing over at Cloud who, in short, was an absolute state.
At first, nobody moved, too stunned from what had just transpired to manoeuvre even one muscle. Tifa was the worst out of everyone, zoning out as she stared blankly ahead.
Eventually, Biggs helped Tifa to her feet and essentially carried her out of the room, whilst Barret stood up and said sombrely to nobody in particular:
“Never ask me to do that again.”
He then wiped his brow and also left the room.
“Cloud, you Ok?” Aerith asked softly after several moments of silence. She was working on your final dressing now, and she knew the whole group were worried about him. They knew he had deep-rooted abandonment issues, and they also knew how incredibly attached he was to you. If he wasn’t so utterly loving, it would be considered unhealthy.
“Just tell me she’s going to be OK,” Cloud replied, his voice wavering slightly as he kept his eyes glued to your face. He still had not let go of your hand.
“We’ve given her the best possible chance,” Aerith said, never capable of telling a lie.
Cloud sniffled slightly, wiping his eyes with his free hand. Once she had finished packing away the sewing kit, Aerith walked over to Cloud and squeezed his shoulder comfortingly.
“Have faith. Your girl’s a fighter, remember?” She offered, smiling at him. He only gave a small nod in response, still not taking his eyes off you.
The moment Aerith left the room, Cloud brought a gloved hand up to his eyes. He couldn’t hold it in anymore and completely broke down, sobbing uncontrollably.
He didn’t leave your side for hours and hours. When you eventually came to again, he was right there. His face was pale, and his hair was tousled; his eyes red and sore from all the tears that had escaped him that evening. Cloud still trembled slightly – it was such a small amount that it was barely visible to the naked eye, but you could feel it against your skin.
You slowly raised a hand to his cheek, concern taking over your face. He looked absolutely terrible as he studied you intently, a huge burden clearly on his mind. For a split second, all you saw was him, but then your nervous system kicked back in.
“Cloud, my insides are burning!! Help! Help!”
You started to panic. You felt like you were on fire – it was excruciating.
“Y/N… We… We had to cauterise your wounds. We have no anaesthetic – we’ve looked everywhere. I’m so sorry.”
“Then knock me out – please. I beg you!”
“Are you crazy?! Like hell am I giving you a head injury on top of everything else!”
You started to weep again, unable to comprehend the pain that you were in. Every second felt like an hour.
Cloud felt so helpless. He felt so… useless.
“Fuck this,” he said, getting to his feet for the first time since you had been brought into the room.
“Cloud? Where are you going?”
“I love you too much to watch you suffer like this. I’m going to find something to help you, and I will be back the second I find it.”
He stepped out of the room, and you heard his footsteps fade as he jogged down the steps to the bar.
“Cloud?!” Tifa exclaimed in surprise, as he stepped behind the bar without invitation, grabbing two bottles of the strongest spirits he could find.
“What the hell are you doing?!” she asked him accusingly as he tried to walk off with the stolen alcohol.
“I can’t watch her suffer anymore, Tifa. It’s killing me. This is the only thing I can think of to help her with the pain.”
“So, you’re going to get her drunk? Have you lost your mind Cloud Strife?!” Tifa scolded in disbelief.
“I can’t just sit there and do nothing!!” He retorted, raising his voice slightly.
“You can’t give her booze, fool. It could thin her blood. Shit, don’t they teach you anything in soldier school?” Barret chimed in from behind, removing both bottles from Cloud’s grasp and placing them back behind the bar.
“Cloud, Aerith has gone home to look for any materia she may have left behind. I understand it’s hard for you to watch Y/N in so much pain. Believe me, I know. But it will only be a little longer, Ok?” she said, trying to reason with him.
Cloud remembered the look on Tifa’s face earlier whilst she was cauterising your wounds. He realised in that moment that she probably understood better than most what he was going through.
“All right,” he said tiredly, before dragging his weary legs back up the stairs.
He ran straight to your side again once he opened the door, seeing that you were still in enormous amounts of pain. Cloud kissed your head tenderly to try and comfort you, but you struggled to keep still. Everything hurt, and it went on like this for hours. Your only respite came when the door opened once more to reveal Aerith carrying a glowing green orb of materia. She was pink in the face and looked like she had been running around for hours on end. It transpired that not only had she raced home and managed to find some sleep materia, but she had also spent all afternoon trying to trade it for some healing materia. Nowhere would agree to this trade, citing that healing materia was ‘like gold dust’, so she would have to make do with what she had. Eyeing you worriedly, she used the materia to knock you out, and then looked over to Cloud.
“I don’t like the look of this. She’s got a fever,” she said to him as she felt your forehead.
“Cloud, run some cloths under the tap and bring them over, would you? We need to get her temperature down.”
He nodded and ran to the bathroom, doing as she asked. He vowed at that moment that he would do anything to make sure you survive this, and he was never, ever going to let this happen to you again.
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It had been several long and monotonous months since you had been badly injured in the hound attack, and now, having had enough of Cloud’s behaviour since, you were packing your bags.
To say he was physically holding you prisoner would be an overstatement, but you certainly felt like one. After what happened to you, he had completely lost it. He panicked every time you left the bar (which you were living above) and it had gotten so bad that eventually you had given up going out altogether. You had tried speaking to him about it, but he just couldn’t learn to control his anxiety and, the last time you had gone out with friends, he was calling you every 30 minutes. You came home that night to an absolute wreck of a person – he was shaking violently and having a meltdown. After that you felt like you just couldn’t do it to him again, so you just stayed in Seventh Heaven.
24/7.
Cloud wasn’t being manipulative on purpose, but his worry of you getting hurt again had consumed him and turned him into a very challenging person to be in a relationship with.
As you zipped up your last suitcase, you glanced guiltily back at the letter you had left him. You hated leaving like this and not saying it to his face, but you knew he would never let you go otherwise. That, and this way was easier for the selfish reason that you wouldn’t have to look him in the eyes as his heart broke into a million pieces. Tifa was the only one you had confided in about how trapped you were feeling, and she had even had a word with Cloud on your behalf, but it was no use. She was also the only one you had told that you were leaving today, whilst Cloud was out.
Picking up your bags, you made your way down to the bar with heavy feet to say goodbye to your friend. She looked at you with a small smile and gave you a comforting hug as you tried to hold in your tears.
“Tifa… I’m so sorry to do this,” you said.
“What are you apologising to me for?” she replied, confused.
“I’m leaving you guys to deal with the fallout.”
“Cloud,” Tifa said knowingly.
You nodded solemnly.
“Please, make sure he’s Ok?” you asked hopefully. Again, you felt selfish. You knew you had no right to ask that they clean up your mess.
“Y/N. He’s most definitely not going to be Ok. Cloud will be devastated, and he will come looking for you. But, he can’t keep you locked in a cage like an animal – I understand why you need to do this,” she responded carefully. Tifa was in a difficult position. She cared deeply for you both, but she knew that how Cloud had been treating you was wrong.
You sniffled a little, guilt consuming you again as you pictured Cloud’s reaction when he arrives home to find you gone.
“I just… I just don’t know what else to do,” you said sadly, tensing your face to resist the impending flow of tears.
“It will all work out, Y/N, whatever you decide to do. And you are always welcome here,” Tifa said to you kindly, gently rubbing your arm.
“Thank you, Tifa – for everything,” you said to her warmly, giving her one last smile before heading out on your journey.
Tifa paused at the bar for a moment before continuing with her chores. Her mind was going haywire with the different eventualities that could present themselves once Cloud got back, and how she would try to placate him. She bit her lip nervously, hoping you still retained enough of your training as an intelligence operative to vanish without a trace. If not, Cloud was sure to find you.
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It was almost midnight when the familiar rumble of Cloud’s motorbike hit Tifa’s ears, and it made her stomach plummet to the ground. She gulped apprehensively as he entered the bar, looking as exhausted as ever. He was carrying some flowers – for Y/N no doubt.
“Hey,” he greeted her, as emotionless as ever. His stoic manner soon faded, however, when he saw the look on Tifa’s face.
“What’s wrong?” Cloud asked, his brows knitting together slightly.
But Tifa could not speak. Her gaze darted to the staircase for a split second, and Cloud, as sharp as ever, followed her line of sight. His eyes widened with worry when he realised it was something involving you, and Cloud searched Tifa’s face for an explanation.
“Cloud, I’m so sorry,” she began.
That was all he needed to hear.
He dropped his bag and ran up the stairs, throwing the door open to the room he shared with you. His breathing rapidly increased as he looked around the room desperately. He couldn’t see you anywhere, and he went into panic mode.
“Y/N? Y/N?!!”
Shaking, he frantically searched the room in case you were hiding somewhere. Cloud lurched open the wardrobe doors, hoping you were tucked away in there for some kind of joke. His heart stopped as he saw all your clothes were missing. He stood there, frozen, for a few moments; his mind trying to process what his eyes were showing him.
What is going on?!
“TIFA! TIFA! SOMEONE’S TAKEN HER!” he shouted as loudly as he could, denial already rearing its ugly head.
She must’ve been kidnapped by Shinra.
They know she’s part of intelligence for Avalanche.
That’s… That’s why they’ve taken her.
As he quickly made his way to the door to set out on his imagined rescue mission, a white envelope caught his eye.
His heart stopped as he saw his name on it, in your handwriting.
With a trembling hand, he reached down to take it. He skimmed through it with urgency, and his face turned sour. Crumpling it slightly in anger, he flew back down the stairs to where Tifa was worriedly waiting.
“Look at this shit. Look what they made her write!” He said in distaste, throwing the crumpled paper onto the bar.
“What do you mean, they?” she asked, concerned. Cloud had exhibited delusional behaviour in the past, and she wasn’t keen to go down that road again.
“Shinra. They took her and made her write this bullshit. As if that would stop me coming after them,” he spat angrily, “Get the team ready, we need to go. Now.”
Tifa didn’t move.
“Tifa.” He repeated sternly.
“Shinra don’t have her, Cloud,” she began tentatively.
“Then who?”
“Nobody.”
“What do you mean ‘nobody’?” he retorted sarcastically, his temper rising.
Tifa reached out and took his gloved hand before she uttered her next words.
“Cloud. She’s gone. And it was her choice.”
“What are you saying?”
“Y/N… She’s left you.”
Cloud felt sick. His chest hurt and the walls felt like they were closing in on him. He was on the cusp of hyperventilating. He took a seat at the bar on a nearby stool as his legs threatened to buckle under him.
“No… no no no.”
“I’m sorry.”
And just like that, Cloud’s world imploded. He didn’t know what to do.
“But… I love her,” he said weakly.
“I know,” Tifa said, patting his hand comfortingly.
He stared at the counter of the bar for a short while. He was the picture of a broken man, but it was as though he had lost the ability to cry. Suddenly, his hands balled into fists.
He slammed them down onto the counter.
“Fuck this,” he muttered to himself, hastily getting off the stool and making a beeline for the exit.
“Where are you going?!” Tifa yelled after him.
“I’m going to find her,” he said from the doorway, looking over his shoulder to address her.
“Cloud, she doesn’t want to be found! She knows how to disappear, and she’s damn good at it. There’s no way you’ll be able to-,”
“I can’t lose her, Tifa,” Cloud cut in, raising his voice slightly.
Realising that arguing with him was fruitless, Tifa let him drive off into the night.
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Cloud’s first attempt at locating you was unsuccessful, despite the endless hours that he spent looking. He didn’t return home for several weeks after you left, scouring every crevice for even the slightest whiff of information. But, Tifa was right – you were one of the best intelligence agents in all of Gaia, and you wouldn’t be found unless you wanted to be.
Or so he thought.
It was by pure chance that Cloud had received a tip off for your current location. You were working in a school a few sectors over, and children do love to talk. Although you were living under a new name, you had a very distinctive tattoo on your forearm that your pupils found fascinating, and it always came up in conversation. He had just been passing by the orphanage when he had heard them, and he knew straight away that they were talking about you.
He was only a few minutes away from you now, and adrenaline was pumping through his veins. This might be his only chance to talk to you again, and he had to make it count. During his moping and pining since you had left, the rest of the group had given him a really hard time about his behaviour towards you. He understood now why you had run away, and he was determined to make it up to you – and to apologise. Profusely.
Even beg for forgiveness if I have to.
Cloud thought back to the advice Tifa had given him, when he had told her he would keep looking for you and bring you home:
“That’s great, Cloud. Just… Be mindful that she probably isn’t expecting you, and may not want to see you. Don’t be too intense, or you’ll only push her away even more.”
Cloud tried to put this at the forefront of his mind, as he parked his motorbike outside of (what he hoped was) your workplace. Sure enough, he caught a glance of you through the window as you moved about the room, teaching the children very enthusiastically. A tiny smile crept up on Cloud’s face, and, before he knew it, he was stood outside your classroom, peering in through the window in the door.
Honestly, he could watch you for hours and never get bored. You were so passionate in everything you did – it was one of the many things he loved about you. Cloud’s heartbeat had been escalating quickly since he had seen you from outside, and now his whole body felt like jelly.
Stay calm, Cloud.
Remember what Tifa said.
Don’t scare her off.
However, before he could even think about what to say to you, he was discovered.
“Miss, who is that man with spiky hair standing outside?” he heard one of the children ask from inside the classroom.
“What man?” you asked, grinning slightly, thinking it was a trick the class were playing on you.
“The one with the big sword on his back.”
You froze, and your mouth went dry.
No, it couldn’t be.
There’s no way he could’ve found me.
“W-Where?” you replied, stammering slightly. Hoping it wasn’t the spiky-haired man with a giant sword that you thought it was.
“There!” One of the other children pointed to exactly where Cloud was standing.
“Shit,” he cursed under his breath, knowing that his cover had been blown.
Having no other option, he slowly opened the door and awkwardly stepped into the room. Seeing you stood there in front of him was almost too much to bear, and he almost ran up to you and put his arms around you. Thankfully, he caught himself and reminded himself that he needed to be tactful.
As his eyes glassed over, Cloud smiled at you hopefully. The expression that he received back from you, however, knocked the air from his lungs – painfully.
You looked like you had seen a ghost. And a scary one at that. Every step he took towards you, you took one back.
“Y/N, it’s only me. Please, I –,”
“How did you find me?” you interrupted; tension evident in your entire body.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Why are you here? I made it very clear in my letter not to come after me,”
“Why do you think?!”
You took a rattly breath in and crossed your arms over your chest, turning to address the children:
“Right class, you can go to an early lunch today. Off you go,” You instructed, not wanting the children to get involved in the situation. You knew what Cloud got like when he became hysterical. It was all or nothing with him: stoic and uninterested 98% of the time, but if he got emotional, he could easily go into a frenzy. Not a cruel, nasty frenzy – he would never hurt anyone, but it was difficult to watch, and not a good environment for kids to be in.
As the class made their way out of the room, they either gave Cloud weird looks or gaped at him in awe because of his sword. Neither of you spoke to one another until they had all left the classroom.
You took a deep breath in and out to try and calm yourself, leaning back against a nearby desk. Cloud tried to come closer to you, but you made it very clear that you were not comfortable with that, so he stayed a few metres away.
Surprisingly, he was the first to break the silence.
“I’ve missed you,” he said, his sad eyes not lifting from the floor.
You said nothing.
“Please come home,” he continued, now looking up at you.
You gripped the edge of the desk tightly, unable to meet his gaze. You didn’t want your emotions to get the better of you. When it came to Cloud, you would let him get away with almost anything. That’s why you had to leave.
“You should go,” you told him softly.
“No. It’s taken me so long to find you, there’s no way I’m -,”
“Cloud. I am not going with you,” you said, as sternly as you could.
“But… you need to come home,” he replied, pain evident all over his face.
You sighed in irritation. You were starting to get really annoyed. Yes, you still loved him, but you left because he was treating you poorly – and he wasn’t even doing it on purpose! How do you fix something like that?
“I’m not going back to that prison,” you said slowly, through gritted teeth. You were both angry and trying to hold in your tears.
“Y/N… I… I’m sorry for how I acted. I was a dick. I realise now how bad that must’ve been for you,” he said, struggling to voice his feelings. He moved a little closer to you.
You still said nothing. You weren’t going with him no matter what he said. You couldn’t do that to yourself.
Finding your resolve, you finally looked at him.
“I’m not coming with you,” you said again.
He moved towards you and crouched in front of you as you leaned backwards slightly on the desk. Cloud reached out to gently rest one of his gloved hands on your knee.
You recoiled slightly. He was making this very difficult for you.
“Please… I love you,” he whispered quietly, pleadingly. His gorgeous eyes threatened to melt your heart as he gazed up at you with a melancholy look.
You shook your head. That was about all you could muster at that moment.
Cloud bit his lip and silently nodded his head as he stood back to his feet. Without a word, he headed to the door.
You actually thought he was going to leave you in peace, but then you saw a tear run down his cheek.
Oh no…
Here it comes.
Cloud stopped, spun around and marched over to you.
Delusion.
He looked you dead in the eye and reached forward to grab your hand. He held it tightly, but not enough to hurt you.
“I’m taking you home,” he stated simply, and proceeded to drag you into the corridor.
“Cloud! Stop! I’m not going with you!” You protested as he tried to walk you towards the exit of the school.
“Yes, you are.”
“No. I. am. not!” You screeched, trying to prise his fingers off your hand as he carried on leading you forward.
To your dismay, you noticed there were some children in the corridor, and they looked quite distressed about what was happening in that moment.
“Cloud! Let go of me – the kids are watching!” you shouted, and for a split second he paused, but then carried on walking.
“Don’t care,” he said, flatly.
One of the children started crying as they saw you try and free yourself once more.
“STOP! I don’t love you anymore! I… don’t… love you anymore,” you blurted out – anything to make him quit.
Well, it worked.
He stopped dead in his tracks and let go of your hand. He stayed with his back to you, and you saw him take a shaky breath in and clench his fists, before releasing them again.
You felt awful, but you also felt that there was no other way to get him to listen.
Of course you still loved him. Hell, you even kept your engagement ring in your pocket – it was in your trouser pocket today…
Shit. The ring.
You fumbled around in your pocket and felt the cold surface of your engagement ring touch your fingertips. Pulling it out, you were unsure if your next move was cruel or kind, but you knew you couldn’t keep it.
Moving slowly, you approached Cloud from behind and placed it in his hand, closing his fingers around it.
“What’s this?” he asked, his voice wavering.
You didn’t answer.
Opening his fingers, he felt a stabbing pain in his chest as he realised what you had placed there. Now he turned to look at you. He looked truly devastated but he didn’t speak. Instead, he turned around and left without another word, leaving you stood in the middle of the corridor, alone.
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When Cloud arrived back from his latest mission, Tifa knew instantly that something was up. He looked as though he had given up on life and was completely numb. He wouldn’t speak to anyone and had been sitting at the bar in silence for the last few hours.
Tifa sighed as she cleaned some glasses behind the bar, facing away from Cloud. It was then that she heard the sound of spinning metal. Curiously, she turned around in the direction of this sound and her eyes fell on Cloud. He was leaning one elbow on the bar, supporting his face with his hand, staring down dejectedly as he span your engagement ring on its edge like a coin.
Tifa suddenly felt really uneasy…
“Cloud, where did you get that?” she asked, knowing that he had looked everywhere for it when you had left. It had always brought him comfort that you had kept it all this time.
“I found her,” he replied.
“And?”
“And… She doesn’t love me anymore,” Cloud said, his breathing beginning to become irregular. He had done so well on the journey home but saying it out loud made it seem more real.
Before he could stop himself, he started to sob. Embarrassed, he brought his elbows onto the bar and covered his face with his hands, but it did nothing to hide his emotions. Tifa could see his shoulders moving as he wept.
Knowing she could say nothing that would comfort him, she got up, placed an arm round him, ushering him upstairs to his room to lie down.
Cloud didn’t come out for a week. He wasn’t sleeping or eating, and he looked and acted like a zombie – like the very life had been taken away from him. Then, one day, as if by magic, he appeared at one of the Avalanche meetings. Everyone was taken aback by his presence, and how exhausted he looked, but he insisted he was fine. He went back on missions with the team, and it was as if nothing had happened, except for one tiny thing.
Cloud was becoming increasingly reckless.
It was like he had given up on life all together.
He was running into fights completely unprepared, not caring if he lived or died, and would go on progressively dangerous solo missions with little worry about what the outcome would be. The team were sick of it, and he was becoming a liability. They were going to mention it to him at the next meeting and try to get him to take a break, but they never got their chance. Cloud had other ideas.
“All the higher-ups at Shinra will be at a conference this time next week. I’m going to kill them and blow up a good portion of their company whilst I’m at it,” he told the group.
“No, that’s too risky. We could all be captured!” Tifa objected.
“You guys won’t be going, this is a solo mission,” he replied.
“Oh, not this again!” Biggs protested, getting fed up with Cloud’s behaviour.
“Cloud -,”
“It’s a one way trip,” he cut in, “I go in with the bombs, I don’t come out,”
“What?!” Tifa and Aerith said in unison, both absolutely horrified.
“Are you crazy?! That’s suicide!” Barret yelled at him, his temper boiling.
“That’s a unanimous no, Cloud. Not happening. Anyway, what’s the next item?” Biggs said, dismissing the idea as quickly as it had come.
“Please!” Cloud said loudly, “Please, let me do something good.”
“We do good every stinkin’ day you fool! What the hell do you think Avalanche is for?” Barret retorted.
“Cloud, I am sick of this attitude! I know she hurt you… but this? Who are you trying to punish?” Tifa asked, almost as angry as Barret. Cloud needed to snap out of it.
“This isn’t the right way. There will be an unnecessary loss of life on both sides,” Aerith said.
“Look. I’m doing this whether you guys like it or not. Now I can do it under the guise of Avalanche, or we can let them cover it up – the choice is yours. All I know is they’ve taken too much from this world – from me – and they’re gonna pay for it,” Cloud responded firmly, before slamming a Shinra meeting memo on the table and walking out.
The rest of Avalanche stood there in silence, and Tifa looked over to Aerith for a moment.
She knew what she had to do.
------------------------------------------ X -----------------------------------------------
Since Cloud had tracked you down at the school, you needed to uproot and relocate yet again, and had set yourself up with a new identity in Wall Market, working in a bar. It was a seedy atmosphere at times, but nobody asked any questions. You figured that many people there aren’t who they say they are, but it was accepted with no judgement. The joys of living in an area run by a crime lord…
Dropping some fresh cocktails off at a nearby table, you made your way back to the bar to make the next round.
“Wow. If I knew you could make drinks that quickly, I’d have given you some more shifts at the bar!” A familiar voice said.
“Jesus. It’s a wonder I ever made it anywhere in my career as an intelligence agent,” you said sarcastically, turning around to see Tifa standing in front of you.
“No, you just have very thorough friends,” she replied, grinning at you.
You grinned back, and then brought her into a friendly hug.
“Tifa – it’s not that I’m not happy to see you, but…”
“But you wanted to disappear, right?”
You nodded, glancing around the bar nervously, wiping the counter clean to put the next set of drinks on.
“He’s not here. He doesn’t know I’ve come,” she said, as if she read your mind.
You sighed in relief.
“I do need your help though,” she continued, tentatively.
“With what?”
“Cloud.”
You stopped wiping the bar and stared at her in disbelief.
“NO.” you said angrily, throwing down your towel and going back to your cocktail making.
“But I haven’t even told you what –.”
“I said no, Tifa. I can’t be around him anymore.”
“Please, you have to help him. There’s nobody else that can,”
“NO, Tifa.”
She paused for a moment, hot tears forming in her eyes. She felt utterly helpless, and she was getting frustrated with your callous attitude. You were supposed to marry him for heaven’s sake, surely you still cared for him?
“How could you tell him you don’t love him?” She asked you out of nowhere. You could tell she was getting wound up – you were too. In all honesty, you felt a little betrayed. She knew why you had run away, so you decided not to answer her.
“Why couldn’t you just keep that to yourself, huh?!” She persisted, “Did you want to twist the knife in?!”
“He was scaring the children in the school, Tifa! He wouldn’t leave!!” You finally retorted, starting to get tearful.
Tifa’s eyes widened in realisation.
“So, I…” you began, unable to finish the sentence and admit the truth.
“You lied?” she said.
You nodded in response.
After a few moments of silence, Tifa tried to convince you once again to go with her.
“Look, Y/N, I’m so sorry to do this to you, but we don’t have much time. You need to come with me, otherwise Cloud is going to die.”
You had a sudden sinking feeling.
“What?” you said, worry starting to take hold of you.
“He’s going to attack Shinra, tonight. And he’s planning on making it a one way trip… Y/N, he’s taking the bomb in, and he’s not coming out,” she explained, the panic rising in her voice, despite her conscious efforts to keep it steady.
Immediately, you went to get your coat.
“Take me to him.”
--------------------------------------------- X ----------------------------------------
The remaining members of Avalanche stood gloomily in a row facing Cloud as he said his very unemotional and detached goodbyes to each of them. They were located by a small gap in the parameter fence which he was planning to use to infiltrate Shinra grounds, then climb up from there to the top. It was dark outside, and even Marlene had come along – she was quite fond of Cloud.
As he reached her, she got upset, so he crouched down and placed a hand on her shoulder to comfort her. Tifa wasn’t there, but Cloud wasn’t surprised – she had been so against him doing this that her absence was likely a protest against his actions. He didn’t show it, but he was a little hurt that she wasn’t present – she was one of his best friends after all.
“Cloud… You don’t have to do this,” Aerith attempted one last time, sadness evidence in her voice.
“Yeah! We can get those Shinra bastards another way - We always do!” Barret added.
“I need to do this. They’ve been allowed to get away with their shit for too long,” Cloud responded, smiling slightly.
He was resigned to his fate, and he now just wanted to get on with it. They were only delaying the inevitable anyway. The rest of the team nodded, and Marlene turned to Barret, sniffling uncontrollably as Cloud approached the gap in the fence.
“Cloud! Y/N wouldn’t want this!” Aerith desperately yelled after him.
He paused at the for a few moments, pulling out your ring, which he had been wearing on twine round his neck ever since you returned it to him. He closed his eyes and placed a small kiss to the ring before slipping behind the fence and onward to his fate.
The rest of the group, feeling absolutely defeated, couldn’t move a muscle. They were very downcast at letting their friend walk to his death, but Cloud was so stubborn that there would’ve been no convincing him. And he hadn’t been the same since you had left. For a few moments, they stood together and shared their grief.
From the distant darkness, footsteps approached them, growing closer and closer. Whoever they belonged to was moving quite quickly.
“Get behind me!” Barret shouted, as Aerith readied her staff for engaging with the enemy.
As the footsteps reached them, their jaws dropped. They didn’t believe what they were seeing was real.
“Y/N?” Aerith said with uncertainty, mistrusting what she saw in the dark.
You smiled weakly at her as you tried to catch your breath from all the running you had been doing. You urgently scanned the people in front of you, searching for spiky blonde hair.
“Where is he?!” you asked pressingly.
“In there,” Barret responded, waving his weaponised arm towards the gap in the fence.
Without a second thought, you bolted through the hole and into Shinra territory. It was pitch black, and it took a moment for your eyes to adjust. Maintaining cover behind a nearby shipping crate, you scouted the area for any signs of movement. On the opposite side of the courtyard, you spied a familiar figure sneaking through the shadows along the edge of a building, the upper balcony providing him with the perfect cover underneath. Checking first for any nearby enemies, you came out from your hiding place and ran across the courtyard to where Cloud was.
“Cloud!” You said quietly as you approached him from behind, not wishing to startle him.
He’d recognise that voice anywhere.
Freezing where he stood, he gradually turned around to face you. He had a strange look on his face – he looked content, but not really there at the same time.
“Y/N… Well, this is a surprise. Never thought I’d see a vision of you before I go,” he said, smiling, reaching out to touch your cheek.
He thinks he’s imagining me?!
Cloud’s brows furrowed slightly as his hand made contact with your face – this was unusual. He wasn’t normally able to touch his delusions.
Your arm shot out to take his hand.
“Cloud, I’m not a vision – please, you can’t go through with this!” you said, trying to reason with him.
His mako eyes studied you for a moment, still trying to work out if you were real. You squeezed his hand once more, and his eyes widened in realisation.
Now he didn’t know what to do. Completing this mission would help a lot of people, but seeing you there in such distress, asking him not to go… He was completely torn.
Closing the gap between you both, Cloud gently placed his free hand on the back of your neck and kissed your forehead.
“Thank you for coming all this way to see me off. It means a lot,” he said, not allowing himself to hope for a future with you in it. If he even considered it for a second, he would lose his resolve.
“No, you can’t…” You replied, starting to panic.
“I’ve never stopped loving you,” he said quietly, moving some hair away from your face. He gave you one last smile, and your eyes darted down to the engagement ring that still hung around his neck. He dropped his arms to his sides and turned to leave.
“WAIT!” You called after him, a little louder than you had meant to. You reached out to grab his arm, yet this time he didn’t turn to face you.
“I still love you!” You continued, desperate to stop him in this madness. You couldn’t lose him. Not like this.
That was enough to make him pause for a second. He looked over his shoulder at you, his eyes finally showing the emotion that he had been keeping inside.
“Please Y/N, don’t… Don’t give me hope,” he pleaded, convinced that at this point you would say anything to keep him from completing this mission.
“I mean it! I… I lied. I never stopped loving you either… I just… I just couldn’t be around you when you were like that. I’ve been all around the world, Cloud. I couldn’t stay confined to one building – nobody should,” you said truthfully, hoping he would hear the honesty in your voice.
Cloud turned his body towards you and studied you silently. You could see from his chest that his breathing had increased, and his muscles were tensed. He was still trying to work out whether you were being genuine. A tear fell from your eyes as you prayed that he would believe you. Cloud’s sharp eyes noticed this in an instant, and he finally accepted that, no matter how small it was, some part of you still cared for him.
And that was enough for him.
He rushed forwards and embraced you in his strong arms. You wound yours around his waist, avoiding the sharp edge of his buster sword as you breathed in his familiar scent. It felt good to be back in his arms – to be close to him.
“Y/N… I’m… I’m so sorry,” he whispered, his eyes starting to water. After all the stress and strain he had been keeping hidden left his body, his limbs wobbled and he fell to his knees. He still held onto you tightly as you stood, caressing his hair as he wept quietly onto your legs.
“Hey… It’s Ok. Let’s get you out of here. Let’s… let’s go home,” you said, deciding in that moment that you didn’t want to leave him again.
He looked up at you lovingly and was just about to stand when a gunshot fired. You both heard a metal *clank* as it hit the back of Cloud’s sword, and then –
“Shit!!” you exclaimed, grabbing your thigh and dropping to the ground, Cloud trying to break your fall as you collapsed. For a split second, he had felt relief as the sword had blocked the bullet’s impact, not realising that it had ricocheted straight into your leg.
As he held you, he couldn’t speak. He couldn’t even move. His mind tortured him with images of you wounded all those months ago; images of when you asked him to let you die as Tifa painfully cauterised your wounds. As the panic quickly rose within him, he couldn’t believe that he was going through this again.
Soon, this panic was replaced with anger. Turning around and pinpointing the culprit’s location, Cloud let out a cry of rage as he burned them to a crisp with fire materia.
And he didn’t even feel sorry.
Turning back to your crumpled form, he cradled you delicately. There was no way he could go through with his mission now – he had to get you to safety. Before he moved you, he needed to inspect your injury and find the best way to carry you.
“Y/N, let me see,” he said gently, moving your hand away from your leg so he could check the damage. You were already starting to shake, and your skin was losing colour at an alarming rate.
“Fuck!” he cursed as blood immediately shot out of the wound. He quickly covered it with his hand and pressed firmly, causing you to flinch. The bullet had definitely hit an artery. Cloud could feel unbridled fear rising within him, but he tried to keep it at bay - at least until he got you back to the others.
“Y/N? Can you press here for me?” he asked you, trying to remain as calm as possible. As your blood soaked his gloves, he placed your hand over the wound. However, you had no strength in your limbs to do as he asked.
Cursing under his breath again, he scooped you up bridal style and rose to his feet. He wrapped one of his arms as tightly as he could manage over your affected leg as he sprinted to the exit, as quickly as his trembling legs would carry him.
On the other side of the fence, the team were stood waiting, hoping, that you would be able to convince Cloud to abandon his reckless suicide mission. As they saw movement in the shadows behind the fence it was a better outcome than they could’ve hoped for. They could see your silhouette from afar, Cloud holding you in his arms like a princess.
“Shit, Cloud. I didn’t realise you were such a smooth operator!” Barret joked as you both approached, completely misjudging the situation.
As you both grew closer, they realised that something was off.
“She’s hurt!” Aerith exclaimed, causing the whole group to race to meet you. They looked on in horror as Cloud tried to speak, but couldn’t, as he dropped down to the floor, still holding you tightly to him. He was drenched in your blood.
“Barret, take her!” Tifa instructed, as Cloud started to break down over your lifeless body.
“NO!” Cloud shouted as Barret tried to prize you out of his grasp. There was a commotion starting to form behind the fence – the enemy was sending reinforcements. Tifa knew they had to get out of there, and they had to get out of there quickly.
“Cloud, let him take her.” Tifa said, seeing his mind begin to descend into chaos. She went to crouch down next to him.
“It won’t be like last time, I promise. We have healing materia,” she reassured him.
Reluctantly, he let go of you, allowing Barret to whisk you back to Seventh Heaven where they could tend to you without the risk of being caught by Shinra troops.
--------------------------------------------- X ----------------------------------------------
It had been a few days since you had been shot, and you were already getting itchy feet. You hated being stuck in once place. Thankfully, due to the healing materia, the whole process was much less traumatic than last time for all involved. The healing materia had done such a good job that all you were left with was a round scar and slightly open wound on your upper thigh. Your leg was still quite painful, but you were desperate to try walking on it. It looked pretty well-healed from the outside, after all.
Downstairs, Cloud was sitting at the bar having a drink of whiskey with Barret, as Tifa busied herself tidying things away. Even though they could tell Cloud was both physically and emotionally drained and terribly worried about you, he was back to his normal self. He looked content, and everyone knew he felt very lucky to have you back in his life, even if it wasn’t romantically.
As they continued sipping their drinks, a loud bang came from upstairs and resonated through the floorboards above the bar. Cloud immediately placed down his drink and looked upwards.
“Y/N…” he said anxiously, picking up his gigantic sword and running up to your room.
Flinging open the door, he was ready to cut through anything that had touched even a hair on your head. Instead, he found you in a heap on the floor. Worriedly, he stood his sword against the wall and ran to where you were, getting down on his knees to get a closer look at you.
“Y/N, are you Ok?” he asked you as he helped you up and sat you on the edge of the bed. He continued to kneel on the floor in front of you and inspected you for any damage.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry to worry you,” you replied, offering an awkward smile to your rescuer.
“What happened?” he asked, concerned.
Your eyes darted to the door.
“I… Uh…” you began, frightened to admit that you had been aiming for the exit. You remembered how he had reacted the last time you were injured, and you didn’t want to set him off again.
“Were you trying to leave?” Cloud enquired sadly, looking up at you like a puppy that had been kicked.
“I…”
Still, you were unable to say the truth. You looked at him for a moment, his expectant little face desperate for an answer. You reminded yourself that Tifa had assured you that he had worked really hard on his behaviour and was different now.
Well, there was only one way to find out.
“I just wanted to go outside for a bit,” you began, nervously, “I’m so bored of being stuck in here, it’s making me miserable. I’m sorry, Cloud, I shouldn’t have –,”
“You don’t need to be sorry,” he cut in, smiling up at you warmly.
You smiled back at him in relief, drinking in his gorgeous features as he continued to stare up at you. As his eyes drifted away from your face, his brows furrowed as he noticed blood coming through your wide-legged cotton trousers (Aerith had suggested you wear clothes that gave easier access to your leg).
“You do need to let me redress that wound, though,” he said seriously, going to get the things he needed from the cupboard. Then, he took off his gloves and washed his hands.
You gulped.
You weren’t prepared for having Cloud touch your leg. Let alone with his bare hands.
You started feeling hot.
Cloud came back over to you, bringing the dressings with him. Again, he knelt down on the floor at your feet as you sat on the edge of the bed. He cleared his throat awkwardly as he moved his hands towards the hem of your trouser leg.
“Is it… Ok if I bring your trousers up?” he asked anxiously, peeking up at you. His cheeks were dusted pink.
You nodded at him, and he gulped, looking back down to your leg.
His hands trembled slightly as he painstakingly slowly raised the fabric higher and higher, both of your pulses quickening as he did so.
Shit. I don’t remember her wound being this high up.
Near the top of your thigh, Cloud finally reached the square, white dressing and tucked the fabric of your trouser leg underneath itself to stop it falling down as he worked. Carefully, he placed an un-gloved hand onto your thigh, whilst he used the other to gently peel off the tape holding down the gauze.
You shivered as you felt his bare skin on yours, and you twitched slightly at his touch.
“Fuck, I’m sorry!” he quickly said, thinking he had hurt you. His eyes flicked up to you to check you were Ok.
“It’s Ok. You… You didn’t hurt me,” you said, biting your lip in embarrassment.
Cloud’s eyes watched your mouth intently as you did this, a familiar feeling washing over him. Trying to put it to the back of his mind, he did his best to keep himself under control as he very lightly and expertly continued to change your dressing. It was not often that he felt anyone’s bare skin with his fingertips, let alone the skin of someone he was yearning for so badly.
As you watched him take such good care of you, you came to understand something that you had attempted to bury when you had left Cloud all those months ago.
Yes, you loved him. You knew that. But you had forgotten just how much you wanted him.
When he had finished, his hands moved to pull your trouser leg back down.
“Wait…” you said softly, placing a hand over his and halting his movements.
He looked up at you, his face a picture of confusion as his beautiful mako eyes bore into you. His free hand, that you weren’t holding in place, dropped to his side as he waited for you to continue.
“Kiss it better, like you used to?” you asked him, hopefully.
His eyes widened and he blinked at you for a moment, his brows furrowing slightly.
Is this some sort of trick?
During happier times, if either of you had gotten injured in a mission, you would patch each other up. Every time, you would ask each other to “kiss it better”. It had started as a joke, because Cloud was so inexperienced when you had first got together that he wouldn’t touch you with a barge pole, despite how much he wanted to. You had used the “kiss it better” method to tease him for a while and bully him into being more affectionate towards you. Before long, he came out of his shell, and he eventually got the confidence to ask you to kiss his wounds better too. After that, it just became something sweet you did as a couple.
He watched you carefully, looking for any sign that this was a joke.
He could see none.
Taking a deep breath, he placed a trembling hand on your bare ankle. Looking you dead in the eyes, still looking for a sign to stop, he softly ran his hand up the side of your leg, butterflies erupting in your stomach as he reached your thigh. Rubbing circles on your outer leg with his thumb, he leaned forward, and kissed gently over the dressing.
He still did not break eye contact, and the look he was giving you was driving you crazy. Losing himself for a moment, he sat taller and brought himself closer to you, placing a hand gently on the nape of your neck. You could tell he was feeling everything that you were, and you prayed that he would act on it.
However, Cloud was pretty uptight about this sort of thing, and dropped his eyes to the floor in embarrassment and cleared his throat, fearful he had crossed a line that he shouldn’t have. He moved his body away from you, and gently pulled the fabric of your trousers back over your leg, taking utmost care not to cause you any discomfort. He placed his hands on either side of your thigh, above the fabric this time (much to your disdain) and took a deep breath.
“Do you have some clean trousers to put on?” he said, getting to his feet.
“Yeah, in the drawer over there,” you replied, your body still reeling as you gestured over to the right.
Cloud walked over to the chest of drawers and pulled out a fresh pair of cotton trousers, handing them to you. He gave you a small smile, and then turned to leave. Your body went into autopilot, and you reached out to grab his hand, not ready for him to go just yet.
He looked down to where you held his hand, pain evident on his face.
“Is there something else you need? Do you need help getting changed?” he asked, still staring at your interlaced hands.
“From you…?” you asked, unsure where your sudden boldness had come from.
You saw his jaw clench and unclench, and he chewed the side of his lip as he frowned somewhat.
“No… From Tifa.” He replied curtly.
“It’s Ok, thanks, I can manage,” you said, slightly disappointed.
“Ok. I’ll give you some privacy to get dressed,” he said, giving your hand a tight squeeze before letting go and reluctantly leaving the room.
As he shut the door behind him, he let out a long sigh and leaned against the wall for a moment. He had no idea what game you were playing, but you were already driving him crazy. He couldn’t think straight, his mind erratic. What was going on? Could he still hope for a future with you, even after everything that had happened?
He decided that he had to try.
No longer than 10 minutes later, you heard a load clunking and a few squeaks approaching your door. Then, the visitor knocked at your door politely.
“Y/N? Can I come in?” Cloud called out to you.
“Yeah!” You answered, wondering what he was up to.
He opened the door and pushed in an old, wobbly-looking wheelchair, and grinned at you like a child that had just handed their parents a terrible drawing – one that they were extremely proud of.
“What’s this?” you asked, chuckling slightly at his cute expression.
“I’m taking you out,” he responded, pushing the chair towards you.
“What?” you asked in disbelief. He really had changed.
“Jump in. We’ll do a lap of the town. I’ll even buy you lunch if you behave yourself,” he said, smirking at you slightly.
Giggling, you carefully eased yourself into the wheelchair with Cloud’s help. Hearing you laugh was like music to his ears, and Cloud felt the happiest that he had felt in a long time.
---------------------------------------------- X ---------------------------------------------
You could see that Cloud was really trying, and it made your heart swell. Since your first outing in the chair, he had taken you out every other day without fail. Now your leg had fully healed, your outings had progressed to Cloud taking you here, there, and everywhere on his motorbike. Compared to the length of time he used to disappear for when you were together, you couldn’t believe it. You were dying to pick things up where you left off in your relationship, but he was sending you so many mixed signals that you didn’t know what he wanted. And you were way too much of a coward to ask him outright.
So, you had to be sneaky.
Back when you were together, you always knew which buttons to push to turn Cloud into putty in your hands. One such thing was wearing a short (but not too short) skirt with over the knee socks. Therefore, that was your outfit of choice today.
As the sound of Cloud’s motorbike grew closer and came to a stop out front, you laced up your boots and made your way outside to greet him. As you approached, he stared at you utterly dumbstruck, very unsubtly looking you up and down.
Noticing that you caught him checking you out so unashamedly, he blushed and busied himself with the trunk of his vehicle, pretending to be moving things around until you arrived directly next to him.
“Morning,” you cooed, glad that your plan seemed to be working.
“Hey,” he replied, still staring into his trunk, blushing.
“Whatcha doing?” You asked, deliberately putting him on the spot.
“Uh… I…”
You cut him off mid-excuse by planting a soft peck on his cheek, heaving yourself up onto the back of the bike (it was quite high), and perched there innocently.
“Shall we?” you said, feigning confidence.
He blinked at you like a deer in the headlights, then got a hold of himself and got onto the motorbike in front of you, doing his best not to throw you off as it rocked slightly under his weight. As usual, you wrapped your arms tightly around Cloud’s torso to make sure you stayed put on the bike, and he kick started the engine with his booted foot, revving it with intent.
There was something so primally attractive about a man on a motorcycle, and your pulse quickened as you felt his muscles tense underneath your grip as he pulled out onto the road.
After about 30 minutes, your heartbeat still hadn’t slowed, and you were desperate to be even closer to him. The road ahead was quite straight, so you used this opportunity to scootch forward and sit flush against his back, tucking your head into his neck. He swerved the bike a miniscule amount in surprise, but he did not protest – much to your surprise. Then, Cloud reached behind him and ran one hand down your shin as he carried on driving, giving your ankle an affectionate squeeze, leaving his hand there protectively until you reached the next corner and he needed to hold both handlebars to steer.
It was a moderately long drive to your destination – the coast. You were so excited to finally be able to dip your toes in the sea, and although it was a bit of a pilgrimage to get to an area that hadn’t had the life sucked out of it by Shinra, you didn’t mind as you got to spend the journey with Cloud.
The rumbling of the motorbike slowed as Cloud pulled up in a layby along the road that ran alongside the decent part of the coastline. As usual, he dismounted the giant vehicle first to help you get down. You swung your legs over one side of the bike to face him, supporting your weight on either side with your arms. As he reached forward to grasp your waist so that you could get down, he froze. His eyes flicked down to the small section of your thigh that was exposed between your skirt and socks, and his face tensed uncomfortably as he stared at the scar left behind by your recent bullet wound.
He felt so very guilty about what had happened that day and held himself personally responsible. As he continued to fixate on your scar, you mistook the guilty look on his face for disgust, and instantly regretted your outfit choice.
“Sorry, I should’ve covered it,” You mumbled, suddenly feeling very self-conscious.
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met, scars or no scars,” he said, moving forward slightly and placing a hand either side of you on the motorbike so you were trapped where you were.
You blushed and smiled, too embarrassed to look at him.
“You sure?” you asked, still not really believing him, but appreciating the sentiment.
“SOLDIER’s honour,” he retorted with a smirk, carefully moving closer still. Now he was standing in between your legs as you sat on the side of the motorbike, and you were starting to get butterflies. You were almost straddling him.
Watching you very, very carefully to gauge your reaction, Cloud moved his hands in from either side of your body to place one on each thigh, his hands shaking slightly. You could tell that he was extremely nervous and worried that he might do something wrong, but he was getting absolutely no complaints from you.
Zilch.
He took a moment to compose himself and decided that now was a good a time as any to lay his cards on the table. Cloud had felt a shift in your behaviour towards him as of late, and he had to know how you felt – it was driving him insane.
“Seeing you sat on my bike, dressed like… that,” he began shakily, sighing defeatedly before he continued:
“Sometimes this – what we’re doing – I find it very difficult not to blur the lines in my head. But I’m so happy to have you back in my life,” he finished. It hadn’t really come out how he wanted it to, but he scooted even closer to you, a hopeful look in his eyes.
“I know.” You stated simply, interrupting his thoughts.
Cloud looked at you blankly, unsure which bit of his statement you were responding to.
“I wore this on purpose,” you admitted bashfully, biting your lip in shame.
Cloud’s breath hitched in his throat, and his pulse started to go haywire as he seductively ran his hands another inch up your thighs, stopping at the hem of your skirt. Knowing that there was even some small part of you that wanted him in that way destroyed what was left of his inhibitions.
It was now or never.
“Y/N… Can I kiss you?” he asked quietly as he looked at you intensely.
Nodding eagerly, you placed a hand around the back of his neck and pulled him forwards until your lips met. He kissed you tenderly at first, as if he were still testing the waters, his thumbs caressing your thighs lightly from side to side. Wanting more from him, you tangled your fingers in his hair, knowing that it would tip him over the edge. He hummed in satisfaction against your lips and quickly deepened the kiss, pushing his body into yours. Tilting his head to the side, he nipped at your bottom lip and then softly ran his tongue along it, desperate for you to let him in. The butterflies in your stomach intensified as he slipped his tongue into your mouth, caressing yours expertly as his hands wandered further up your thighs and slipped under your skirt, coming to a stop as he tantrically massaged your hips. You wrapped your legs around his waist, and he leaned forward further still, one of his hands shooting up behind your head to support you as he pushed you further back.
Getting a little out of breath, you pulled away from his lips to get some oxygen. Not letting that stop him, Cloud latched himself onto your neck, leaving sensual kisses along your collar bone, exploiting that sweet spot he knew you loved. He gradually brought one of your legs up higher against the side of his body, running his hand along your thigh again as he nibbled on your neck.
“Cloud…” you said softly, signalling him to stop by placing a hand on his chest. He stopped kissing your neck and turned to face you again, letting out a rattly breath. He looked at you through half lidded eyes, slightly breathless, and leaned away from you to bring you back up to a sitting position.
“Sorry… I got a bit carried away,” he said awkwardly. He looked you up and down once more, dying to continue, but he knew deep down that now wasn’t the time or the place.
“It’s not that I particularly wanted to stop, but we did come here to see the sea,” you said cheekily, grabbing his chin and quickly pecking his lips.
“Right. We’d better get you down then, hadn’t we?” he replied, lunging forwards to grab you under your bum and pick you up. Letting out a surprised peep, you wrapped your legs around his torso, clinging on for dear life as he marched you both off towards the sea.
“Cloud Strife get your hands off my ass, you little pervert!” you teased, laughing.
“Alright, suit yourself,” he said, throwing you over his shoulder instead.
He chuckled as you let out another screech, watching the road get further and further away as he carried you. Once you got closer to the water he started running, and as you heard splashing coming from his boots, he came to a stop and pulled you back over his shoulder to hold you bridal style.
“Jesus, Cloud. You’re gonna give me motion sickness!” You whined pathetically as you clung onto him around his neck.
“You wanted to go in the sea,” he said, eyeing you deviously.
“What do you mean? …No… You wouldn’t dare!” You said, realising that he was threatening to throw you in.
“But we’ve come all this way,” he said innocently, pretending to let go of you and catching you just before you hit the water.
“HEY! You’re the one who needs to cool off, Strife!” You retorted indignantly, grabbing onto his top tightly in case he tried it again.
“And whose fault is that?” he said, raising an eyebrow at you accusingly.
You glared at Cloud, and he chuckled. He had missed the banter between the two of you – he hadn’t laughed like this for ages, and to be honest it was starting to make his face ache.
“Please don’t drop me in,” you pleaded, giving him the best puppy dog eyes you could muster. Not one to admit that he would fall for a cheap trip like that (he 100% did by the way, his insides went to mush) he decided to tease you a little more.
“Convince me,” he purred at you, his eyes darting about your face as he spoke.
“You are pushing your luck,” you giggled, gladly leaning up to cup his face and catch his lips in another kiss.
“God, I love you,” he mumbled against your lips, holding you against him tightly.
As Cloud quickly got carried away again, he let go of one of your legs and nearly dropped you in the sea.
“CLOUD!”
“Shit! That was an accident, I swear! I wasn’t… concentrating,” he said, mumbling various excuses and holding you up even higher, just to make a point.
“Shall we go and sit down somewhere, before you ‘accidentally’ drown me?” You joked, but Cloud didn’t see the funny side and frowned, carrying you off to find a nice spot on the beach to sit down. Eventually he decided on a large rock – he didn’t much fancy getting sand all over his clothes, especially with such a long motorbike ride home.
You talked about anything and everything for hours, until the sun went down. When it got dark, you decided that now was the perfect time to kick off your boots and socks and get in the sea. You asked Cloud to join you, but he politely declined. As you reached the water and started paddling, the moonlight hit the sea beautifully and Cloud was mesmerised as he watched you. He fiddled apprehensively with your engagement ring as it hung seemingly heavily around his neck, wondering if now was the right time to broach the subject. Today had been perfect, and, for Cloud, it only further cemented what he already knew.
“Hey Y/N, come over here a second,” he called out.
You turned around and nodded at him, legging it up the beach to join him back on the rock.
“Oh, for Christ’s sake!” You cursed as you saw the copious amount of sand now stuck to your lower limbs after you’d run through it with wet legs.
Cloud saw the cute, sulky face you were making and laughed, leaning towards you to bat the sand off your lower limbs with his gloves, which he had taken off at some point. Once he had dusted you off, you reached out to take his hand. It was not often that you saw him without his gloves on these days, and you wanted to make the most of it. He smiled at you lovingly at this small action, and brought your hand up to his mouth, kissing it softly before returning it to its original position.
He then went very quiet for a moment, as if resolving some sort of inner conflict. Taking a deep breath, he let go of your hand and reached up to the twine around his neck, using both of his hands to slip it over his head and place it down on the rock next to you.
Looking down at your old engagement ring was like being blindsided by a train; you weren’t expecting it and you didn’t know how to react. Cloud noticed the sudden shift in your demeanour, and knew he had to explain himself right away, so you didn’t freak out.
“This ring has brought me comfort for so long. It gives me the strength to carry on when times are tough, and don’t get me wrong, I love wearing it. It makes me feel close to you, but…”
He gently took hold of your chin, tilting it upwards to he could look at you.
“…I much preferred seeing it on your finger,” he finished tenderly.
Cloud felt so vulnerable in this moment; he had opened his heart and soul up more than once today. You just brought that out in him, he supposed, but this – this was what he needed an answer to.
His eyes searched your face for any sign of what you were feeling, but you were too stunned to even speak. He sighed sadly, letting go of your chin and placing a kiss on your head. Cloud reluctantly pulled away from you, giving you some space with your thoughts. The whole time, you could feel his eyes boring into you as your mind raced. This had been exactly what you wanted – to pick things up where you left off. But now the situation had presented itself so perfectly to you, you froze up completely.
After a few minutes of hearing nothing but the waves breaking onto the shore, Cloud decided to be more direct. He couldn’t go on like this, not knowing where he stood.
“Look, Y/N. I still want to marry you. I am 1000% sure that you are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, and I know I have no right to expect anything from you after I behaved like such a prick… But please… I need to know one way or the other, for my own sanity,” he said, his gorgeous eyes begging you to put him out of his misery.
Suddenly realising what an idiot you were being, you wrapped your arms around him and pulled him into a warm embrace.
“I’d still love to marry you, Cloud,” you said quietly, caressing the silky spiky hair on the back of his head.
He let out an audible sigh of relief and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to his warm torso. He was so content and happy in that moment, that he never wanted it to end.
-------------------------------- X ------------------------------
You pulled up outside Seventh Heaven around breakfast time and went inside to find Tifa beavering away, getting the bar ready for the morning’s customers. She had her back to you as you entered, and Cloud, who had his arm draped around you, looked at you for a moment questioningly, then tried to remove his arm after he received no answer. He figured you probably wanted to keep things a secret and sneak past her. He was pleasantly surprised to find that you didn’t care who knew, which was made quite obvious when you pulled his arm back around you.
As Tifa heard your footsteps approaching, she recognised the sound of Cloud’s heavy stomps, and didn’t even turn around as she greeted you.
“Out all night, were we?” She teased knowingly.
You both looked at the floor, ashamed (but not really). You had been caught out, just like naughty teenagers.
Still sorting God knows what behind the bar, Tifa carried on working, and you and Cloud were going to try and sneak upstairs unnoticed. Your plans were sadly foiled, as who should appear at the bottom of the stairs at that exact moment other than Aerith Gainsborough, one of the sharpest women you had ever met.
Her eyes widened as she took in the spectacle before her. Aerith’s excited orbs darted to both you and Cloud for an explanation, but both of you were too embarrassed to vocalise the truth. Something blue and shiny then caught her eye as it reflected the morning sun peeping in from a nearby window. Aerith looked down at your hand and proceeded to let out the weirdest squealing noise you’d heard in a long time.
“What the hell was that?” Tifa said, stepping out from behind the bar and walking towards the source of the noise. She stopped dead in her tracks as she saw the two of you, raising her eyebrows at you suggestively.
“Tifa, look!” Aerith peeped eagerly, grabbing your wrist and pulling you towards Tifa, your fiancé protesting with a small “Hey!” as she tugged you out of his grasp.
Tifa beamed at you as soon as she spotted the ring.
“Back where it belongs,” she said, knowingly.
“So, have you set a date?” Aerith asked, jumping the gun massively. She always got over-excited about events such as this.
“Well, as soon as she’ll have me, I hope,” Cloud piped up, now standing closer to you again.
“Besides,” he continued, weaving his arms around your middle from behind, “It’s already been a very long engagement.”
He smirked cockily at you, so you whacked him playfully to teach him a lesson. He simply growled into your neck and squeezed you even tighter as punishment. As Tifa and Aerith started jabbering on about weddings and all the marvellous girly ideas they had, Cloud leaned closer to your ear and said something, very quietly, that made your heart melt:
“I can’t wait to make you my wife.”
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