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If Sugawara Koushi could turn back time and hit his 18 year old self on the head for each of the many dumb things he promised himself he would do and the sheer idiocy that ruled most of his decisions, he would have had a concussion way before the Spring tournament rolled around in his third year. However, getting a driving license, even if it was on a whim after a lost bet, would be one of the few ideas that he could salvage from that time.
As he drove around the city, 3 AM being the perfect time to cruise along, uncaring of the non-existent traffic, he thought back to when he promised himself that his license would be used to do many extravagant and pointless rides with his friends. What a fool I was Suga could only think about his past motivations. He had never gone driving with his friends, everyone being too scared or too busy to actually get into the car with him to go somewhere all together.
In the over 2 years he had gone off to university, he had been extremely overwhelmed with work, making him resolve to get his car and go on middle-of-the-night drives to destress. Those were his very personal wind down moments, something he didn’t share with anyone he knew, fearing the possibility of losing his only sanctuary of peace. He thought that there would be no harm in keeping this up, realizing that he felt the most free in those moments rather than any other instance of his hectic day.
However, he couldn’t help but get distracted as he rode around a neighborhood, a residential one that he used to avoid in fear of seeing someone he knew around, despite well knowing how irrational that was of him as he knew that none of his acquaintances would be strolling the streets at 3 AM. Suga saw a figure under the streetlight, sitting on a swing in the middle of the playground, all hunched over and lightly swaying in his place. He looked a little disheveled, his brown locks of hair sticking out, giving the impression of someone having a rough night.
Oh no, not a crazy homeless person in the middle of the night, I better ride away.
As Suga thought this, the figure lifted their head and he hit the brakes as soon as he realized who that person actually was.
[Reverse]
“Oikawa?”
Suga couldn’t believe his eyes. He immediately recognized the face of the person that had honestly scared him the most when on the court, the strength of his gaze had been enough to make him shiver with fear back then. However, the Oikawa Tooru that was under the yellowish light of the lamppost was a tired man, not the overconfident one Suga remembered. Something in Suga’s brain clicked, he had to know what made the glorious and always on top Oikawa Tooru look so dejected and sad.
He put his car in reverse, going back to where he had first seen the man in the playground and stopped his car in order to call out to him. If anyone asked Suga why he did so, he would never be able to tell what compelled him to do so. He just got the immediate gut feeling that he had to call out to the brunette, no matter how long it had been since they had last seen each other. Thinking back on it, Suga wasn’t even sure he had ever talked to the setter before, but it was already too late for regrets.
“Grand King?”
Suga couldn’t help himself as he got out of his car for a second and called out to the brunette. His voice carried out in the empty park, causing the man to turn his head abruptly, making Suga wonder if the other just gave himself whiplash for how fast he twisted around.
“What did you just call me?”
Oikawa walked closer to where Suga was in front of his car. The brunette quickly closed his drawing book, making a show of putting on a superior air, as if he hadn’t just gotten surprised by a stranger in the middle of the night.
Suga waved his hand in the air above his head, figuring that there would be no use to hide now or go back on his words.
“Grand King. Isn’t that you? Isn’t this the nickname Hinata gave you in high school? Thought you liked it.”
“Hinata? You mean the shrimpy from Karasuno? Tobio-chan’s little companion?”
“Exactly him.”
“Wait, aren’t you Mr. Refreshing?”
“Excuse me, what?”
“Mr. Refreshing! The angelic, energy drink-like guy from Karasuno that refreshed everyone when you stepped into the court.”
Suga stared at him for a good second, debating if he should laugh at the absolutely unreasonable mental gymnastics that Oikawa just did with his reasoning for giving him such a nickname that had no real bite to it, or if he should be offended that he got compared to a drink.
“Seriously Oikawa? Sounds pretty lame as an insult and makes me believe you don’t actually know my name, do you?”
Suga immediately recognized that it had been a bad move on his part, Oikawa’s face falling a little for a split-second; it gave the silver haired man a quick glimpse of how tired and deflated he actually appeared. This wasn’t the same Oikawa he was used to from his memories and he had to be cautious if he wanted to actually be of any help to him.
Oikawa quickly got himself together, clinging to his sketchbook harder and trying to hide it from Suga’s gaze. He flipped his hair, messing the already hopeless mop of chocolate colored strands, and tried to strike what Suga guessed was supposed to be a confident pose.
“Oh dear me, I’m sorry Mr. Refreshing! Apparently, I forgot to ever ask for your name back in high school! You will forgive me, I had a lot to think about back then and going to the other side of the world didn’t help me with that. I mean, I never thought we would meet ever again.”
Suga sighed, Oikawa had a point and he knew it very well. The two of them had taken completely different paths in life and Suga hadn’t had any news of whatever Oikawa had been up to for many years at that point. He took a second, deciding that there was no moment like the present to start something and decided to open his mouth before his resolve could disappear.
“My name is Sugawara Koushi, Oikawa-san. Ex backup setter from Karasuno High and actually an education major, aiming to become an elementary school’s teacher. I’m right now on a middle of the night ride to calm myself and get back some of the mental sanity that university took away from me. Would you like to join? You might want to be with someone.”
Oikawa narrowed his eyes, in the same way Suga had seen him do so many times on the court while analyzing his adversaries. He knew the brunette was trying to decide if Suga was worthy of trust or if he should run away from the seemingly random person that he vaguely knew from so many years ago offering him a ride to who knows where. Suga prepared himself to get laughed at by the setter, when he panicked, his mouth spitting out his thoughts before he could stop himself from rambling.
“Fine, I…”
“We can go get some ice cream!”
They both looked at each other for a second, Oikawa’s eyes wide with surprise before badly trying to suppress his laughter, in order to spare Suga from the embarrassment and failing. Suga’s face got redder and redder as Oikawa kept on laughing, unable to stop himself and he felt like he wanted to crawl under a rock to avoid the awkwardness he was feeling.
“Oh my gosh, you’re really funny. I was already going to accept your offer, but I won’t say no to ice cream either. It’s been so long since I’ve last had ice cream without thinking about my diet constantly so I will treat this as my extra cheat day. I’m trusting you to have my back if anyone ever asks about it.”
Oikawa’s eyes shone for a second with a playful glint in them that made Suga’s own impish tendencies rear up their heads too. Exchanging a knowing smile and nodding at each other, they got into the car and finally took off.
[First gear]
“So… Kou-chan?”
Suga raised an eyebrow, taken off guard as he was starting the engine to finally hit the road again. He wanted to chuckle, the amount of nicknames that Oikawa was granting him growing by the second.
“What’s with you and giving everyone nicknames?”
“I like giving them to people, you wanna fight?”
Suga laughed, slightly lowering the window to let a little bit of air pass through his hair and giving him the sense of freedom he so desperately searched for in those outings. He guessed Oikawa would feel the same, but was still too much on guard to admit it openly. He looked briefly over to where the brunette was sitting next to him and wasn’t surprised to find him sitting so stiffly despite trying to exude confidence.
“Is it because you’re just obnoxious or you can’t actually remember people’s names?”
Oikawa looked over to Suga as if he had just been mortally wounded by the insult before he coughed and put on his best annoying smile, trying a bit too hard to appear insufferable. Suga knew that kind of attitude well enough, it being so similar to his own when he tried his best to grate his best friend’s nerves and get a kick out of seeing him get angry. However, something told the aspiring teacher that Oikawa wasn’t trying to make a joke out of him, but more likely deflect and ward off any kind of unwanted question over the obvious self pity moment he had been having in the park just moments before. He had heard from various people how Oikawa used that kind of attitude to push people away or to test their intentions. Iwaizumi had told him many times to look out for that kind of behavior when they spoke as vice-captains, in case he tried to get on Kageyama’s nerves also out of the court.
“Wow, Kou-chan, don’t be so sassy with me, it doesn’t fit well with your angelic face. However, enough talking about me. How are you doing?”
Suga rolled his eyes. He stared straight in front of him, the dark road only lit by the streetlights that gave a strange sense of intimacy to their moment, making him almost forget that the both of them were pretty much strangers. Suga took a deep breath before asking Oikawa the question he knew he had been dreading the whole time since they started talking.
“Oikawa. Cut the crap, we both know that first off, if we were both well and happy we wouldn’t be going around the city at 3AM looking like we both are a breath away from collapsing.”
“I’m not-!”
“Yes, you are Oikawa. You look like you haven’t slept in a week and don’t even try to sell me some sort of story to make me believe in the opposite. So now, are you willing to tell me what’s wrong while we go and get our ice cream, or do you prefer to spend our time in silence? In exchange I will also tell you what’s up with me and do the driving. Deal?”
After this little outburst, Suga felt heat rise to his cheeks, his ears were most certainly red out of embarrassment for speaking so rudely to someone he’s not close to. He waited in silence for a second more, preparing himself to apologize profusely when he heard a very quiet word. Barely louder than a whisper, he heard a single utterance coming from the passenger seat.
“Deal.”
[Second gear]
Suga was stunned, he certainly didn’t expect the stuck up setter to agree to have this little pity talk session with him, much less to sound so defeated and tired while agreeing.
“I- Deal?”
“Yeah, deal, Mr. Refreshing. You wanted to know why I was out and about at such an ungodly hour of the night, right?”
Suga nodded slightly, one of his hands firmly on the wheel while the other was changing the gears as he picked up the speed. He had no idea how to approach this kind of Oikawa, as he could only imagine that the setter might be hiding a much more complex personality under that frivolous and irritating exterior. His instincts were telling Suga to keep driving, to not lose his cool, and to listen to the brunette without showing any kind of adverse emotions.
“I haven’t been able to sleep since I got back to Japan to see my family and friends.”
Suga was a little startled by the harsh frankness of the words that Oikawa spat out so rapidly. He sounded once again on the verge of either crying himself to exhaustion or like an old soul that had already shed all the tears he had in himself left to cry. Suga felt immediately bad, as he had pestered the other into coming with him when he was mostly ignorant to the other’s problems.
“Oikawa-”
“I haven’t been able to get any shut eye, and I doubt I will anytime soon. I went out to get some fresh air, but ended up getting lost in my own thoughts while in that park. Would have never painted me as someone as ditsy as that, right?”
“I see. I guess the sketchbook you tried to hide from me as soon as I called for you had nothing to do with the reason why you got so distracted?”
Oikawa went stiff for a second, clearly his attempts to hide what he had been doing back in the park were absolutely fruitless against Suga. He knew from the start that Suga was a smart guy, having already confirmed this several times since high school. He chuckled a bit, knowing how that annoying observational ability was similar to his own, they had just decided to use it in different ways. His sense was phenomenal on the court, but he couldn’t compete at the same level as someone that decided to sharpen his ability to use with others.
“As expected from an aspiring teacher. You really have a keen eye for people’s habits.”
“So, are you gonna tell me what you were doing back there or should we play the guessing game?”
“I was drawing.”
Suga once again made a perplexed face. Drawing didn’t feel like something Oikawa would do as he never struck Suga as an artsy person. Oikawa burst out laughing after taking a look over at Suga’s face. The darkness of the night made Suga’s face almost glow with the moonlight’s soft hue, making all his expressions be more noticeable. The setter wouldn’t say it out loud, but he couldn’t help but think that the silver-haired man was surely one of the most expressive and beautiful people he had seen in a long time.
“Don’t make that face Kou-chan! I didn’t mean to laugh at you, but I thought you wouldn’t take me seriously if I had told you since the beginning that the ‘Great King’ was in a park in the middle of the night because he wanted to draw and clear his mind, right? It would have sounded ridiculous.”
“You’re not completely wrong. I can’t really see you drawing for fun, you always look like you could turn everything into a competition. You know, like little kids do.”
“That’s not true, I’m not some immature child, you offend me. Oh, Kou-chan, look! Here’s the store, you promised me we would get ice cream, didn’t you?”
Suga laughed once again and pulled over, happy to see the brunette’s face shining with a fresh glint in his eyes. He would have been lying if he said that he didn’t see himself reflected in the sad, downcast eyes of the setter from before in that park. He remembered when he was feeling hopeless, like nothing could ever work to make his team’s pipe dream of going to nationals a reality. He got shaken from his thoughts when Oikawa suddenly spoke to him, asking for what he wanted to eat, knowing full well that Suga would be the one to pay to honor the promise he had made to take the setter along on this impromptu ride of his.
“I will get the Mint Choco Chip one, thank you.”
The setter looked shocked with the driver’s response, physically trying to distance himself in the narrow space in the car to express with his whole body his over-the-top disagreement with Suga’s taste.
“Kou-chan, I refuse to believe you would eat that one!”
“Why not? I think it’s awesome!”
The two went back and forth for a second longer before Oikawa finally relented and then got out of the car, huffing and jokefully saying how Suga’s taste buds had to be broken to be so hung up on such a flavor. Suga watched him walk to the store, his eyes not leaving the figure of the tall brunette for even a second, and enjoying every little expression, quirk in the taller man’s countenance.
I wonder what made him so sad.
Suga barely had the time to rest his eyes as the very moment he closed them Oikawa came back, throwing the door open and loudly announcing his return. He threw the bag with the frozen sweets in the back, ignoring Suga’s sputters of protests.
“What are you doing? Why did you do that? Give me my ice cream, come on.”
“Isn’t there a beach around here? I’m sure there is! Let’s go there! Ice cream by the seaside is always much better than anywhere else, trust me.”
Despite the grumbles of annoyance Suga made, he secretly wanted to see where Oikawa could take him. He would never admit it out loud, but he was intrigued by his very presence, and deep down hoped the brunette could be the person that might understand him and his need to escape for a little while.
[Third gear]
“Oikawa, do you mind if I put some soft music as background noise?”
“I’m not really big on having music during my nights out, but it can’t hurt for once, can it?”
Suga put on the softest playlist he could find, sending a glance in Oikawa’s direction. The cool spring air was flowing through the opening of the window, something that made a shiver run down the silver-haired man's spine. The setter was looking out of the window, in his eyes a longing look that made Suga wonder if he could ever get the permission to know what hid behind them. He let a moment of silence pass between them, the first song in the playlist ending and fading into the second one with a pleasant sound. As the last note rang through their ears, Suga once again opened his mouth to speak.
“Can I see what you were drawing earlier?”
“It’s nothing much… Really.”
Oikawa’s voice sounded so uncharacteristically soft, as if he had suddenly remembered something that had hurt him so deeply, enough to make him lose his typical shine and glamour. Suga felt like he was seeing a stage after the lights had gone out. Oikawa felt lonely, distant and in desperate need of help. Suga wanted to get to the bottom of this, his heart aching at the possibility of seeing the bright light the setter usually emitted in his splendor go dim and pathetically fade out without anyone even taking notice of it. Oikawa was a master in hiding behind a mask and acting like everything would be fine, but Suga knew better than to trust that fake smile and fall for that kind of tactic.
The soft music kept on going, not stopping even when they started to ride along the seaside, the moonlight reflecting on the otherwise black water. The soft waves had a calming effect, making Oikawa sigh and stare at them even more longingly before he quietly grasped his sketchbook. Suga couldn’t help but put a comforting hand on the setter’s arm, letting the stick-shift go for a second.
“Oikawa, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
“I can show them to you, even if it’s not a lot.”
Suga smiled softly, looking at the brunette’s blushing face and searching for a sign of distress in his beautiful features.
“It’s okay. We’re here now! The beach as you requested, oh Great King! Come on, let’s go.”
Oikawa’s eyes shone brighter as he saw the vastness of the sea in front of them, despite how it would normally be considered daunting because of the darkness of the night. He wordlessly got out and started climbing on top of the car, Suga looking at him with his mouth agape.
“What are you doing? Get down!”
“Kou-chan, stop being a spoilsport and come up here! I can assure you that it’s better up here.”
“That’s my car, Great King, I believe I should be the one calling the shots for what can or can’t be done!”
Oikawa looked over to the beach from his viewpoint, ignoring Suga’s protests for a second, before pointing wordlessly towards the beach and making the shorter of the duo follow the gesture.
“Kou-chan, you might not know this as you live more on the mountains, but look over at the sea. There’s too much wind and the sea water would get in our face if we went down there. Up here, it’s still nice but it’s safer. Wouldn’t want your pretty face to be ruined by it now, would we? I wouldn’t mind if your ice cream ended up spoiled, but I don’t want mine to be spoiled too.”
This last sentence made the petty part of Suga ramp up and tried to swipe at Oikawa from where he stood, listening to the brunette’s wheezy laughter as he tried to avoid the hits while also trying to offer his hand to the aspiring teacher to help him get up onto the car too.
“Ouch Kou-chan! You should be grateful that I’m letting you use me as a stepping stone! Even if it’s just to climb your own car.”
Suga wanted to wipe that smug smile from Oikawa’s face, but he settled for a harsh blow to his side, strong enough to leave the setter without breath but controlled enough to still be perceived as playful.
“Grateful? You should be grateful that I’m not pushing you off this car and forcing you to go back by foot!”
“You would never!”
“Try me, pretty boy.”
They both looked at each other, then burst out laughing, the slightly cloudy sky hiding some of the moon’s light and making the both of them comfortable in the quietness of the night. No one was around to judge them or to scold them and they had never felt freer than that.
They sat there, Oikawa explaining with a vibrant voice all about the sea, all he had learned by living his whole life in Sendai and then later in Argentina. He told Suga all he knew about the ocean and the beach, while stuffing his face with ice cream ("Hazelnut, Kou-chan! Simply the best flavor to ever exist!", "You're so basic Oikawa"). The silver-haired man listened on, enraptured by the passion in Oikawa's voice and the newfound shine in his eyes, so bright that it would have been impossible to guess that this was the same downcast person he had met less than an hour before.
"Kou-chan?"
The sudden change of tone hit Suga like a slap in the face, aware of how different his voice sounded now. It sounded hesitant and if Suga didn't know better, he would have thought that Oikawa was being almost shy.
"Yeah?"
"Do you still want to see my drawings?"
"Of course I do, if you feel comfortable with it."
Suga looked over to Oikawa, watching the brunette reassure himself quietly and pick up his forgotten sketchbook that he had set right next to him when he climbed up to the roof of the car. Suga noticed how Oikawa's legs went a little over, in a way that he could lightly swing them as if he were a little kid that couldn't reach the floor from his seat. He then switched his attention to the setter's hands, observing how his finger danced swiftly over the pages, showing him a peek into his mind.
"Each and every one of these drawings are like a part of me… They represent a special moment to me, so special that I didn't want to forget them. I started this when I got to Argentina, as a way to fight off the loneliness and insecurities I guess? I'm not sure anymore, I just feel the need to fill it up."
Tons of views Suga had never seen in his whole life decorated the notebook, the colors dancing and showing all the vibrant emotions that Oikawa felt when sketching them. It felt like the drawings were alive, as if Suga could reach out and touch the unfamiliar places shown on paper.
The brunette then pointed at one of the drawings, showing a special sunset, one of those that blended both the rising night sky with the setting sun, each part with their very own set of colors that gave the image a feeling of serenity and magic.
"This one is from the very first time I set foot in San Juan. I was really jet lagged and found myself full of energy so early in the night, as for my body it was just morning. I spent so many hours that night painting this, it wouldn't leave my mind."
The setter's finger stopped moving, letting Suga keep on turning the pages. The teacher had been ensnared by the notebook and the beautiful stories that each and every single image in front of him was telling him, that he noticed right away when he got to the last section of drawings. He felt like he knew most of the places in that section, recognizing the park near his school and the mountain path that was just outside the city of Sendai. However, what really caught his eye was the very last drawing.
It was a half finished sketch of the street he was facing from his place in the park where Suga had found him earlier that evening . He recognized a quick drawing that looked like it had been added in a hurry, one of a car coming into the image. Suga immediately whipped his head around, searching Oikawa's expression. He had a serene smile on his face, although a little sorrowful.
"What's this?"
Suga pointed with a trembling finger towards the barely started figure.
"That's your car."
"Why is it here?"
"I wasn't going to include it at first, but since I'm here, I thought why not. You're part of this memory now, whether you like it or not. You're now eternalized in my sketchbook."
"Oikawa, I have no words to express how beautiful this is."
The setter laughed, pushing Suga's shoulder lightly. In his eyes, the sad and pained glint had come back, but this time mixed with a brighter hue. The silver haired man hoped with all he had that it meant that a little optimism was hiding right behind there.
"Thank you, Kou-chan. I know you're probably saying this only out of politeness, but it still means something to me."
"It's not out of politeness. Don't say that."
[Fourth gear]
"What? Don't lie, Kou-chan."
"Why would I lie? It's clear how much you care and I’m feeling really honored to be able to get a spot in here. However Oikawa, I'm concerned by the amount of the drawings. You said you use them to empty your mind and feel better and more than half of these are from Japan, rather than Argentina. What's going on? I'm here for you."
As these words left Suga's mouth, he saw tears pooling in Oikawa's eyes. The drops glimmered by the moonlight that finally shone through the clouds that were previously obscuring its light. Suga lifted a delicate hand towards his cheek, lightly caressing it and wiping a stray tear sliding down his face.
“What’s going on? Please don’t face it all alone, I want to help you.”
Oikawa looked at Suga, leaning into his shoulder to try to hide his face from the inquiring, deep, silver eyes of the other. He felt like wanted to hide from everything, but the sweetness of the other made him realize there was nothing to feel ashamed of. As he finally lifted his head up once again, his eyes met Suga’s and he felt a surge of need to let himself go and be honest with the other man.
“I- I don’t know what came over me. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed when you’re abroad, but here? This should be home, shouldn’t it?”
Suga was left speechless, prodding the brunette to keep on talking. He was trying to find a way to comfort and help the setter, doing his best to show his support towards the other’s struggles. The silver haired man put a hand on the expanse of Oikawa’s back, running circles to soothe the flood of emotions that had hit him so suddenly. The sobbing soon stopped and a little outburst of rage took its place in the setter’s voice.
“You know, I left Japan for a reason, right? If I had felt okay with how I was living here, I wouldn’t have uprooted my whole life to go live in freaking Argentina. Now, I don’t think I’m that dumb, but I can’t seem to find the reason by myself, so please tell me, why did I come back here?”
After this he once again hid into Suga’s shoulder, a defeated sigh leaving his lips as he snuggled closer to him. Suga stayed quiet for a second, trying to think of a way to reply to him. He looked up, the beautiful, starry sky was already starting to blend into a lighter shade of blue, hinting at the first sign of the sun coming back to shine and start a new day.
“Hey Oikawa.”
The setter let out a hum of acknowledgement, showing that he was listening to the other’s words.
“I don’t know what happened to you specifically but I think that you might be letting everything get to you. You have it all, be it in Japan or Argentina. You went away because you needed a bigger stage to spread your wings and take off, a place you couldn’t find here with all those monsters around here.”
A light, sarcastic chuckle came from Oikawa’s throat, a sound that didn’t bode well in any case; even more so coming from a really vulnerable moment for the stubborn setter. He was scared and had no idea how to handle being seen, being read so deeply by someone that was basically a stranger to him.
“Monsters. What a fitting description. They are all monsters, terribly talented, and making me look like a useless child in comparison. It’s always about when I’m going to catch up to them, never asking me what am I doing to become who I want to be. Not my parents, not my sister, not even Iwa-chan ever told me that what I’m doing is enough.”
He then turned his head, distancing himself from Suga’s body, where he had been nestled in close up to that point.
“Then you come here, we spend two hours together, and somehow you know what I wanted to hear? This isn’t fair, you don’t know anything about me, you are no one! It’s not fair...”
Suga never broke eye contact with Oikawa, not letting those chocolate eyes out of his sight, which forced Oikawa to see his own reflection in those clear, silver eyes. The pink hue of the sunrise spread through the sky, winking off the surface of the sea. Everything looked so pretty, so ethereal that the brunette felt it was all unreal. The tears kept rolling down his face and he felt himself being hugged once again by the silver haired man.
“It’s unfair…”
“I know.”
“I don’t get it.”
“I know, Tooru. I know.”
“Do you even know how to say something different from ‘I know’?”
“Not if you keep being this sassy.”
“Mean.”
They both laughed light and bright. Oikawa’s voice was a little spoiled by the crying and his eyes were rimmed red, but he couldn’t care less. That moment was his and his only. No one could have ever ruined it, nothing could stop him from enjoying it.
Minutes passed, the sun slowly rising and the light shining brighter and brighter, carrying the wispy breeze of the early morning. It was chilly, cold enough to make them shiver from both the ice cream they had eaten and from the sudden realization that their limbs had gone mostly numb from the time they had spent there.
Oikawa jumped down first, realizing that Suga had trouble moving because of all the snuggling the brunette had done to seek comfort in the other, resulting in one of the shorter man's legs feeling funny. He blushed red, embarrassed for his actions and extended his arms toward Suga. He looked at him like he was crazy, eyes wandering from his arms to his face.
"Ehm, what are you doing?"
"I'm helping you climb down! It's partially my fault you are there, so let me help!"
"And you want to help me by looking like an oversized toddler that wants to be carried? With extended arms towards me and all?"
"I'm trying to pick you up!"
"Yeah, sure, not in a million years."
"Don't be stubborn, Kou-chan!"
As they bickered, Oikawa rolled his eyes, yanking Suga down by the hands and into his arms, allowing the other to land on the ground safely and avoid getting hurt.
"Uhm, thank you?"
"You better be thankful! Wouldn't want the only driver here to get injured before going back, would we now?"
“Get in before I regret ever picking you up from the streets!”
“Rude, you’re making me sound like I’m a stray cat!”
“Aren’t you?”
“No!”
[Fifth Gear]
“How could you compare me to a cat after all of that? Kou-chan, you’re heartless!”
Suga chuckled, driving in a much more relaxed way compared to when his night had started. He was now confidently holding the wheel and leaning back into the seat while merrily changing gears to adapt to the increasing speed required to go back home in a decent enough time.
“You may think I’m heartless Tooru, but I’m just looking out for you, this is called tough love!”
“No, it’s not. Tough love was Iwa-chan constantly pelting me with volleyballs!”
“I think that was just because Iwaizumi-san thought you had some screws loose and wanted to fix them for you.”
The laughter died down, both men finally calm once again and able to think straight. At that moment, Oikawa thought that nothing had to be said for them to understand, his slightly embarrassing outburst making him feel a deeper connection to Suga.
Then, Suga opened his mouth. He started talking in a way that Oikawa had never heard before, not even from the various rumors that had come to his ears in all those years of frequenting almost the same friend groups. His voice sounded sweet, calm, and sorrowful in a way that only someone that had gone through that very same type of pain could muster and use appropriately.
“You know, I saw so much of myself in you when I first noticed you in that park.”
Oikawa looked at him curiously, wondering what Suga meant by that. He thought about how he was feeling at the beginning of his night, the problems that had made him drag his own restless body out of his house at that ungodly hour, now seemed smaller and definitely easier to overcome.
“What do you mean?”
“You were looking down.”
Suga brought his gaze towards the brunette’s questioning face, giggling as the setter was obviously trying to remember how he appeared a couple of hours ago.
“Was I?”
“Yeah, you were. You were drawing such a beautiful view but still only looked down. You only briefly looked up in time to see my car and quickly started drawing again, head hung low.”
Before Oikawa could say anything, Suga kept on talking. His words felt like the brunette had been read from head to toe, even the deepest parts of his mind. He couldn’t say anything to contradict the other, realizing how much the silver haired man already seemed to grasp everything concerning his state of mind. He suddenly felt ashamed for telling Suga that he knew nothing of him earlier when talking in front of the beach.
“You looked just like I did back before Karasuno had their revival. We all hung our heads low, not in shame but in frustration. You can guess that as the youngest setter, the back-up, I was even more frustrated than everyone else. Everything changed just a little after that but I never forgot that feeling.”
Suga seemed like he was shining, the sunrise’s light making him look like he was the protagonist of an incredibly emotional movie. Oikawa just silently stared, both in shock for the accuracy of Suga’s words and in amazement of Suga’s beauty. The combination of the two made his heart skip a beat and almost prompted him to extend a hand to check that the man next to him was real and not a fragment of his imagination.
“However, for how cliché this phrase might feel, there’s always a rainbow at the end of the storm. Oikawa, you’re strong, you’re a star and I doubt anyone will ever be able to stop you. You’re shining even brighter than you ever did in the past and trust me, you’re shining everyday a little more. I can’t say I’m a hardcore fan, but you can bet I’ve seen some of your matches.”
Suga took a moment to catch his breath, a slight pink blush rising high on his cheeks.
Cute Oikawa couldn’t help himself but think of how cute Suga looked.
“In each match I’ve seen-”
Oikawa blushed hard, Suga’s voice suddenly ringing in his ears and bringing him back to reality after his train of thought had taken him off the rails.
“-I could clearly see how much you had improved. Each time was like seeing a new you, a different and stronger you. You were already scarily strong back in high school and now I’m honestly scared of what those hands could do.”
They looked at each other for a second, the red light giving them the opportunity to finally look into the other’s eyes. They were both blushing and the realization made Suga’s blush deepen a couple of shades darker.
“Ah! I meant-!”
“I know what you meant.”
“Really?”
Oikawa broke eye contact for a second, leaning back into his seat and smiling softly to the other. He felt serene as if he could lose all of himself in Suga’s crystal clear, pure eyes. He realized how much he wanted to keep on looking at them, to hold the person that was able to read his heart and soul so well, a task that even his closest family and friends had failed to do.
“I really do. However, you’re the first person to tell me so. Everyone always said that Ushiwaka was the strongest one, while I was the eternal second.”
Oikawa heard a scoff of disapproval from Suga and looked at him with a questioning look.
“Ushiwaka might have been a cannon and his spikes both hurt and scared me, but he was nothing strategy wise. He’s a good guy, but he’s precise to a fault and that made him so predictable in my eyes. On or off of the court, it was the same.”
Suga started to quickly change gears, the sound slightly scaring Oikawa as he hadn’t really gotten used to being so near the driving seat in a car without automatic gears.
“However, my dear Great King, you have had both the brains and the strength to be the strongest and scariest adversary since high school. It’s a shame that I never got to know you off the court back then, but from what I heard, you were as smart off the court as you were in the court. Maybe just a little funnier, if I can say so.”
“Are you saying that my teammates weren’t up to snuff and that’s why we failed?”
Suga laughed, loudly, ungracefully, and Oikawa thought that was the most lovely laugh he had ever heard.
“Of course not! What a strange way to twist my words. I never said that!”
He said through his laughter, the sound soon quieting down into a sweet light giggle.
“I meant that it was simply not your time to shine, Tooru. That’s because your time is still waiting to come and you will show everyone what ‘The Great King’ can really do. I strongly believe you will be the final boss of it all, and I can’t wait to see where you will be able to go now. The roads in front of you are endless and you can bet that I will enjoy the final result whatever path you will take. It doesn’t matter if it’s in Argentina, in Japan or in the North Pole, I know you will be the brightest star of them all.”
A tear rolled down Oikawa’s cheek, soon followed by many others that kept on flowing from his eyes.
“I- I!”
“Tooru, look up.”
He lifted his head and he saw the most beautiful view from the top of the hill where they had stopped, making the gradually rising sun look so warm and heavenly. Oikawa had to clear his eyes to make sure that he wasn’t in paradise or dreaming. He was at a loss for words and couldn’t react when Suga gently picked up his hand and held it tight and lovingly.
They stayed silent until they got back to the park where they had met, no words necessary at that point to communicate between the two of them.
“Tooru, we’re here.”
Those few sounds made Oikawa’s heart ache and drop, he really didn’t want to break the magical atmosphere that had been created. He knew that stepping out of that car would probably put an end to them and remain forever in his mind as his biggest regret and sweetest memory at the same time. However, his body moved automatically, opening the door and almost stepping out of the car when he felt a hard tug on his hoodie.
“Tooru, I know I shouldn’t be stopping you or be this selfish, but please, don’t forget this night. I will never be able to, so please, I beg you.”
“Koushi. I will never forget this night, I don’t plan on losing what we created tonight. I already lost enough and I won’t lose you too. You’re the only one that saw everything I hid deep into my mind and you did so in less than a night. This is enough to tell me how amazing you are.”
This time it was Suga’s turn to start sobbing, Oikawa not realizing how important those words were for the silver haired man.
“I- Thank you, Tooru. I have no words to express how happy this made me.”
Oikawa impulsively hugged Suga, not wanting this moment to end. Their connection, their emotion, and their experiences that they had shared that night was something they both knew wouldn’t end. It couldn’t end that easily.
The rising light of the day was the signal to make them realize their time was up and reluctantly departed from each other. A silent promise in their eyes to be together one more time, almost as if they were old mythological lovers promising each other to overcome the obstacles that made their love near impossible.
As Oikawa watched the car drive away, he clutched his sketchbook harder, then ran home to immediately draw everything he had seen on that beautiful night. He ran until his knees started to ache more than usual, until his breath had gotten heavier and his family looked at him curiously as he entered the front door covered in sweat. He didn’t listen as his mother yelled at him to ask where he had been. He needed to eternalize that night with his art just as it had been imprinted in his heart and soul.
As Suga drove away, he felt his heart throb and then get filled with a mixed emotion of love, pride, regret, and nostalgia. A stray tear came to his eyes, this time from the wave of emotions that washed over him as he mulled over and over the night that had just passed and how he will forever miss it.
I will never forget this.
[U Turn]
Suga’s phone pinged a couple of days later. It was unusual for his phone to go off, usually most of his chats being muted and having specific sounds assigned for those he cared about. When he picked it up and noticed an unknown number, his heart started beating furiously.
It can’t be. It absolutely can’t be.
He stared for a good minute at the screen before having enough guts to open the message.
'Hi there, Kou-chan! This is Oikawa! I got your phone number after pestering Iwa-chan for a bit and I even got scolded, he even called me irresponsible and talked my ears off about being out of bed at 3 AM to wander around with you. He also wanted to tell Dai-chan about it, but I figured you didn’t want him to know, so I bribed Iwa-chan for you. Said so! This means that you owe me now and I will consider your debt as repaid if we can meet up, be it at night or in the day it doesn’t matter.'
The message was so full of childish expressions and followed by a lot of emoticons that Suga was shocked at first, thinking his teenaged cousin had sent him that. He laughed out loud at Oikawa’s tone, internally grateful for his quick thinking in bribing the athletic trainer to not say anything to Daichi; especially since the policeman-in-training and Iwaizumi had just started dating after many years of knowing each other. Suga fully supported them, but really didn’t want the nagging to increase exponentially. Daichi’s worry and pestering were already enough for him and his sanity as it was; no need to fuel the fire.
The aspiring teacher sent out a response, playfully teasing Oikawa and wholeheartedly accepting a date from the setter. He never felt better and was extremely glad that he had decided to share his corner of paradise with him.
Then after Oikawa’s u-turn back into Suga’s world, it felt like life had kicked it into high gear, full throttle. No one was a better choice than Tooru, who really drove their relationship forward and after many years, proposed to Suga on the center court immediately after winning an Olympics’ gold medal. The timing was flashy and accompanied by soft words, telling him how his encouragement never left him and gave him the strength to actually get there. No amount of tears had been enough, the happiness he felt from both his partner’s victory and following question made him unable to speak clearly.
Legends say that the proposal and the blubbering sounds elementary school teacher emitted as a reply were transmitted for the world to see, the cameras all pointing towards them as Oikawa got down on his good knee and proposed to a crying Suga while the crowd roared with cheers all around them. It was named the most romantic, funniest proposal that had ever been seen in a worldwide broadcast; almost making it such a main attraction that it even surpassed the awards ceremony that followed.
Suga still begs to differ to this day, still regularly pouting to his husband for his useless showing off, but he wouldn’t change anything about it.