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"I cannot express how much I seem to drown in the spiciness of such an absolutely scrumptious smell of strawberry rice flavoured perfume."
Jeremy sniffed the bottle several times before continuing on with his investigation into the perfume.
"MMM I see there is also a tint of CINNAMON to add to the pure texture of the perfume."
He turned around and around in circles, looking for a lonely woman to test out his perfume. This would take some time considering he would get distracted every other moment when the women would run straight past him.
"EXCUSE ME! MA'AM! WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY OUT THI- ah what a nice ass..."
"psst, Jeremy. Jeremy! JEREMY!!! the camera is going to die! you need to find someone quickly!!!" the irrelevant cameraman informed Mr. fragrance.
"Ok." Jeremy rolled his eyes.
"hello." Jeremy jumped at the sound of a real life human woman talking to him. "HELLO! please test this perfume it is amazing and you look very good."
"I am a twin." the woman said without breaking eye contact with big man Jeremy, whilst simultaneously unscrewing the perfume lid and pouring it over her head.
"which one are you?" Jeremy asked as he grabbed a handful of perfume from the woman's head.
"I don't remember. I think im the more atomic one."
"Ok."
"you know my number. Dial it." the woman stated before sprinting away.
Jeremy stared off into the distance as the view of the woman slowly shrank and faded from his memory. he cried knowing that was his one true soulmate and his only chance for true love.
"Oh my GOD. I want to have actually sex right now!!!"
the end.
