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akito froze as the final note of the song lingered in the air, and after a moment had passed, he broke his form, breathing out a sigh of relief. he and toya had been working on some simple choreography for one of their new songs in order to spice up their next live, and after several failed reps, they'd finally managed to get everything down. akito felt motivated, and almost suggested the two repeat their choreo again, but the sun was beginning to set behind them, so instead he relaxed, deciding they could work more tomorrow.
“alright, i think that's a good stopping point for today. good job, toya.”
akito wiped the sweat from his forehead, offering toya a spare water bottle he'd grabbed from the vending machine earlier that day. toya happily accepted the water, giving akito a grateful smile.
“thank you, akito.”
as akito drank his water, he tried to think back to their dancing from earlier - just because they'd done a full run-through didn't mean it was perfect by any means. he'd missed a cue in the middle, and in his panic, he'd taken a step in the wrong direction. by the end of their song, toya's movements had gotten more reserved as well. but, they hadn't done all bad - akito felt like he'd really kept up the energy, and toya's hand movements were always simple, but incredibly smooth. though they could definitely improve, akito was happy with the progress they'd made, and he was ready to keep working hard at a steady rate.
“it's later than i thought it was. i should get home.”
toya's words halted his train of thought. home... toya had to go home and face his father, huh? he wouldn't be happy to hear toya had gone to practice street music, and he'd be even less happy if toya came home late...
akito must have looked guilty for keeping toya later than they'd planned, because toya was quick to try and reassure him.
“akito. you don’t need to feel bad, coming here to practice was my decision, and I'm happy with how the choreography has progressed. if we put in the time and work, we’ll eventually reach our dream together, right? the two of us will surpass rad weekend one day.”
their dream, huh? they'd surpass rad weekend together, akito was sure of it. toya really had grown since they'd first met - if this was a year or so ago, he wouldn't have stated their dream so confidently. akito gave his partner a grin. he really was proud of toya, and how far they'd come as a duo. his partner always seemed to know how to cheer him up.
“you're right. one day, we'll surpass rad weekend together.”
akito finished the last of his water before turning to leave, giving toya another smile before they parted ways.
"i'll be heading out, then. see ya tomorrow, toya.
toya nodded, returning akito's smile with one of his own..
“i'll see you then, akito.”
the two split up, walking their separate ways. heading straight home was the last thing akito wanted to do, so he he made a detour, heading towards the local convenience store to pick up a snack. he hummed bad dogs' new song from their earlier practice as he walked. even in his downtime, he tried to picture how this song would fit into their setlist for their next live.
as he arrived at the store, he gave the man behind the counter a wave. at the rate he visited this shop, whether it was for him or ena, he was basically a regular. he browsed the shelves, picking up various protein bars to snack on. he brought them to the counter and checked out, making small talk with the cashier before exiting into the night air.]
with his bag in hand, akito made his way to a nearby park. he took a seat at an unoccupied bench and set his protein bars next to him. he opened one, taking a bite as he sat and reflected on his earlier practice. akito didn't have much time to think about it, however. a distant voice managed to capture his attention with just one sentence.
“...you saw the recent bad dogs performance, right?”
akito's head shot up, and he looked around, trying to figure out who had mentioned his group. it wasn't surprising to hear people talk about groups they'd heard in livehouses, since this park was relatively close to vivid street, but it was much more uncommon to hear someone talk about bad dogs. after all, he and toya weren't the most well-known group yet. his gaze locked on two strangers who looked around his age, maybe a few years older. akito relaxed, trying to make his eavesdropping go unnoticed.
“yeah. that new kid, with the blue hair. who is he? i’ve never seen him around before.”
“his name's toya, from what i’ve heard. he must have had a background in music or something. he’s really good for a rookie.”
akito couldn’t help the grin that came to his face, though he tried to make it subtle. he pulled out his phone, preparing to text toya that he was attracting the audience’s attention. it was a very impulsive decision, sure, but he was just so overjoyed to hear his partner praised. finally, someone was recognizing how much potential toya really had.
that enthusiasm didn't stick around long, however.
“...but that other kid. it’s almost like toya’s carrying him, isn’t it? he’s sloppy onstage.”
akito felt like the excitement had been sucked out of him. he knew his technical skills were worse than toya's, but had he really been that bad?
“akito, you mean? yeah, i thought so too. he’s all momentum. toya’s gonna be the one giving that team all the attention, i can guarantee it. don’t they want to surpass rad weekend?”
“i think akito mentioned something like that.”
“well, i think he should give it a rest. unless he somehow has the talent growth of a professional, he won't be the one to surpass it. i could see that toya guy up there, maybe, but not him.”
akito’s mind went hazy, blocking out the rest of the conversation as the strangers vanished into the night.
had he… always been this bad, compared to toya? would he really never surpass rad weekend?
...it was exactly as they said, wasn’t it.
he’d never be good enough.
akito didn't realize how tense he'd gotten until he glanced down at the now crushed protein bar in his hand. his knuckles had gone white with how tightly he was holding it, and at this point, there wasn't much left to eat. he let go of the bar, letting it fall next to him.
he balled his hand up into a fist, angrily slamming it down hard on the bench he sat on. pain shot through his hand, but he didn't care. when was he ever going to be good enough? was he ever going to be good enough? it made akito's emotions swirl as he thought about it, but at the same time, he felt disconnected from everything.
akito just felt numb, and though he was familiar with the feeling, it usually didn't get this bad, especially after a successful practice. akito was sick of it. he was sick of being miserable. he was sick of being inferior. all he wanted was to be worth something, to have somebody recognize him for the effort he poured into music. he dreamed of shining on a stage with a crowd cheering his name, finally being able to say he made it.
but shining, apparently, was something he'd never be able to do.
in fact, as he walked home, not even attempting to hide the frustration on his face, akito didn't think he'd ever felt this dull.