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As a child, Kiyoomi explored various different ACC supports to help him navigate communicating with people around him during times when his voice so often failed him. He downloaded applications to his tablet and carried it around with him everywhere he went, using it to tell those around him about the workings in his brain. Kiyoomi preferred to stay hidden, to only use his voice when he chose to.
When he entered the fifth grade, Kiyoomi fell in love with ASL. He loved everything about it; the way his fingers felt in motion with every sign, the preferred quiet conversations and the clear facial expressions. There were no social traps with ASL, everything was laid bare and Kiyoomi did not have to fight himself with every social cue he might have missed. Everything about ASL allowed Kiyoomi to feel secure, he was given control of his body and the freedom to express himself in ways he felt comfortable with.
As Kiyoomi grew older, ASL became a safety net. A comfortable home where he felt heard and held during overwhelming sensory overloads. ASL gave him a voice when he felt like his was being ripped away from him. During the times where his brain buzzed with distress, Kiyoomi could fall back on ASL to help him navigate through the fog.
Motoya had always been one of Kiyoomi's biggest supporters and naturally he began to learn alongside Kiyoomi. They would sit under their blanket forts with flashlights during weekend sleepovers practicing new signs and giggling at their mistakes. Motoya let Kiyoomi info dump ASL signs at him until he picked up on them, and asked questions in response that made Kiyoomi’s eyes shine.
Their late night conversations bled into their school days, which in turn lead to them holding conversations during volleyball practice. Most of the time, their conversations were simple questions like "what are you having for dinner tonight?", "can I borrow the latest copy of that new manga?", or a demand of "I am going to copy your homework from math class". Although small, there was always a level of trust that Kiyoomi held close to his heart during these simple interactions.
It wasn't just mundane conversations, often Kiyoomi needed simple signs to tell Motoya how to support him during meltdowns. Kiyoomi felt beyond appreciative that his cousin was able to understand him during his most earth shattering moments. ASL gave Kiyoomi the ability to exist safely, and Motoya was there right beside him.
It was no secret to those around Kiyoomi and in the volleyball circle that Kiyoomi used ASL as a main form of communication. During training camps, Motoya would teach those interested and Kiyoomi would have to go around correcting their grammar.
Surprisingly enough, Miya Atsumu was one of the players most interested in learning. His years training as a setter granted him the ability to memorize signs quickly, and his slender fingers allowed him flawless execution even on his first attempt.
Kiyoomi quickly became enthralled with Atsumu; it started with how his hands moved delicately with each sign, and soon led to watching Atsumu dance around the change room to Taylor Swift. All of a sudden, even the smallest mannerisms became monumental shifts in Kiyoomi's heart. That dazzling smile Atsumu wore and grew with each service ace, the shimmy of nerves before entering the court, and the sparkle of fire in his eyes as he watched the volleyball smash on the other side of the net by his spiker's palm.
It was his hands that started it all, though. Kiyoomi found himself watching Atsumu's hands even when he wasn't learning signs. Be it during dinner wrapped around his chopsticks, or while he was shuffling cards before a heated game of uno.
The obsession with Atsumu's hands brought Kiyoomi huge strife, one where he often found himself distracted during the most inopportune times. His inner turmoil took his mind away from his tasks, leaving him defenseless to the happenings around him and to his shit disturber of a cousin.
Between tournaments and camps, Kiyoomi was never able to get Atsumu and his hands out of his head. Kiyoomi argued that his fascination was merely that, an appreciation for nice hands and the art of ASL, but Motoya disagreed with a teasing smirk every time.
Once Kiyoomi graduated and made his mark in the college circuit, Atsumu was a fond memory in the back of Kiyoomi's brain. He would watch him play when he could, but his busy schedule didn't allow him the time to dwell.
But once Kiyoomi joined MSBY, and the first welcome came from a taller, more defined bottle blond with a beaming smile, the feelings that Kiyoomi once believed to have fizzled out came crashing back into his chest with lung collapsing force.
As Atsumu greeted Kiyoomi with a shout followed by a signed, "I am happy you are here", that was when Kiyoomi felt the daisies first take bloom in this ribcage.
After the four years of separation, Kiyoomi learned Atsumu had spent a lot of his time perfecting his ASL and was now able to engage in full conversations without feeling choppy. His motions string together flawlessly, and his facial tones were recognizable and fluid.
The two of them often get lost in their own world through ASL, telling inside jokes and spilling the newest gossip. Kiyoomi didn’t necessarily enjoy learning about others' personal matters, but the excitement pouring from every motion of Atsumu's kept Kiyoomi captivated till the end.
Although Kiyoomi had grown with more support and a solid understanding of his mind and body, meltdowns and sensory overload still ran as a threat to his everyday routine. He risked panic attacks with every new activity planned by their marketing team, and with every new hotel bed he was expected to sleep in.
But, instead of shouldering the pressure to know every answer to each unfamiliarity, Atsumu was there with his graceful hands signing encouragements on his back.
This became the norm for them, signing to each other secretly through soft presses of each other’s hands against skin. When Kiyoomi was nervous, he would reach out and sign against Atsumu’s shoulder in an attempt to seek comfort. During bus rides to and from games, Atsumu would sign his excitement on Kiyoomi’s forearm.
The weight of Atsumu’s fingers and words have been imprinted on Kiyoomi. He felt the tingles long after Atsumu’s fingers had left his skin. The buzz that Atsumu left in his wake always called Kiyoomi back like a beacon in the sea. Kiyoomi was merely a lost traveler looking for Atsumu’s warmth.
The closeness Kiyoomi had with Atsumu didn’t go unnoticed. Their teammates knew that with Atsumu came Kiyoomi, and thus with Kiyoomi came Atsumu. But, Kiyoomi didn’t realize the magnitude their relationship held until Motoya made a sly comment during their routine weekly FaceTime call.
Kiyoomi knew he was no longer under the veil of youth, so he was required to provide a sensible answer back to his cousin’s implications. But, that didn’t mean he couldn’t give his cousin the finger and prematurely end the call. Which he did.
The time spent with Atsumu held too much importance, and Kiyoomi was far too afraid to get it jumbled up with his feelings. Although he knew that by allowing them to get closer, he was only digging himself further into a trap, he couldn’t give it up. Kiyoomi was far too mesmerized by Atsumu and all his peculiarities.
Following the call with Motoya, MSBY made a trip to Nagano for an exciting away game against EJP Raijin. They came out on top, and Kiyoomi felt as though he was floating high after rubbing it in his cousin’s face.
His excitement over the win led him to easily agree to walk up to the roof of their hotel with Atsumu. Agreeing, he thought it was a team bonding expedition but as he laid there close to Atsumu, he realized it would stay just the two of them.
They stayed quiet, Atsumu uncharastically so. Kiyoomi expected him to be loud and brash after their victory but he remained subdued and soft. Kiyoomi was overthinking until there was a cold hand gently taking his and moving them until they rested on Atsumu's chest. Kiyoomi was taken by surprise at the heart beating wildly and he slowly turned to face Atsumu, who in turn looked back at Kiyoomi.
After a large breath, in and out, Atsumu began moving his fingers against Kiyoomi’s.
“Thank you,” he signed. “For showing me what love feels like.”
At that moment, Kiyoomi felt the world around him stutter to a stand-still. All his words dried up and dropped from his grasp.
Atsumu continued on in whispers, “for constantly pushing me to grow into myself, for supporting me during all my downfalls, for humbling me during my highs. And for showing me all the different ways I can fall in love each day.”
The elated tears pricked at Kiyoomi’s eyes and threatened to push over as he watched Atsumu lift his palm and place a kiss to the middle, the softest part of Kiyoomi’s hand.
Kiyoomi learned that night that Atsumu showed his love in many ways. He showed it through fist pumps to his brother in the stands and by giving Bokuto his last piece of BBQ chicken.
But, he also showed his love by quietly dancing signs on Kiyoomi’s skin. The softness of Atsumu’s fingers and sparkling honey eyes have settled safely in Kiyoomi’s heart. He can safely say that this expression of love is his favourite.
“I love you,” Kiyoomi signed against Atsumu’s chest, right above his rapidly beating heart. Atsumu was home, he was safe and Kiyoomi had fallen just as deeply in love with him as he did with ASL.