Actions

Work Header

i’ll hold you in my arms as we fall back asleep

Summary:

Waking with a start, Giyuu’s eyes shoot open. Cold sweat drips down his neck, his chest heaving. Blue eyes flit around, searching the room. The same as always. Giyuu throws off the covers, staggering to his feet. The floor spins beneath him and he falls back. He covers his eyes with his palms, catching his breath, forcibly slowing himself down. He presses hard, as if more pressure would stop his shaking.
“It’s okay.” He whispers through shaking breaths. Slowly, ever so slowly, his heaving calms. “It’s okay now.”

Notes:

This is... an almost 2 year old wip lol, so it may feel a little disjointed.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“Sabito.” Giyuu called across the street. It was quiet, no traffic in sight, heavy mist shrouding the tarmac. Despite the fog Sabito was in sharp focus, a vivid splash of color against the white backdrop.

“Giyuu!” Sabito smiled, the corners of his ultramarine eyes dropping, softening. “What are you doing all the way over there? You’ll be late.”

Giyuu’s hands fumble his school bag. Of course, being late to class would be bad. Old man Urokodaki always scolded him when he caught him outside when the bell rang. He stumbles over the curb, slipping on the cold pavement. Catching himself with his hand, it’s icy to the touch. A quick look down, and the ground is coated in frost. 

“Are you okay Giyuu?” Sabito stepped from his side of the street, jogging toward Giyuu. Something turned in his gut, something wasn’t right.

“Sabito, wait!”

A gust of wind rushed by, covering the sound of an engine. A shadowy mass sped by, cloaked in the mist, and before Giyuu could say another word he heard a dull thud, the screech of brakes shrieking into the fog.

“Sabito!!” A scream tore itself from Giyuu’s throat, wracking his shivering body. Jaw quivering, his legs gave out, and Giyuu collapsed to the ground.

Not again, not again. Is the only thought that ran through his head

“It’s okay, Giyuu.” Sabito called back through the mist. A figure approached, cupping his cheeks, wiping away the tears that had trickled over. “Everything’s okay.”

Giyuu’s eyes squeezed shut, letting out a strangled sob. His hands were warm against his face, almost hot. Damp.

“It’s okay, so just open your eyes, Giyuu.” He shook his head little sparks shooting behind his eyelids. It was faint at first, but a distinct metallic smell hung in the air, acrid and sharp. It was all Giyuu needed to know that it wasn’t okay. 

“Giyuu please, open your eyes.” At the pleading tone in Sabito’s voice, Giyuu couldn’t help but slowly open, and a wordless scream tears itself from his throat.

 

Waking with a start, Giyuu’s eyes shoot open. Cold sweat drips down his neck, his chest heaving. Blue eyes flit around, searching the room. The same as always. Giyuu throws off the covers, staggering to his feet. The floor spins beneath him and he falls back. He covers his eyes with his palms, catching his breath, forcibly slowing himself down. He presses hard, as if more pressure would stop his shaking. 

“It’s okay.” He whispers through shaking breaths. Slowly, ever so slowly, his heaving calms. “It’s okay now.”

Once again he gets to his feet, more carefully this time. Still dizzy, he staggers to the door, fumbling for the knob. A quiet click and the door squeaks open. The hallway is dark, but light spills out from under the bathroom door. Resting his head against the door, he can faintly hear the sound of coughing and spitting. He continues on, flicking on the light switch on by the small kitchen. 

The kettle was still sitting out, cold water standing in the bottom. He dumps it out over the small stack of dishes in the sink, filling it with fresh water before setting the kettle back on the counter and plugging it in. Fumbling around in the cabinet by the fridge, he shuffles half empty boxes of cereal and noodles and various cans out of his way. The back of the shelf is dark, but he can still see the shiny plastic wrapped yellow box shoved into the corner. Carefully extracting the small package, he stares at the brightly colored label, rotating the box around. 

With a soft clink, he grabs a pair of mugs from the drying rack, one dark blue and the other a grayish off white. Setting them on the small kitchen table, Giyuu gets to work on the box. The plastic film is unyielding, taking a frustrating minute to peel off. The kettle shrieks, it’s lid rattling. He rips the paper packets open, dropping a tea bag in each mug. A faint whiff of dried chamomile rises, tickling Giyuu’s nose. The kettle’s shrieks quiet down as he lifts it off its base. 

As he pours the boiling water into the mugs, the sound of the bathroom door opening and being shut without much care makes Giyuu look up. Sanemi is leaning against the door, a look so sickened Giyuu can even see it through the darkness of the hallway.

“Sanemi, are you okay?” Giyuu calls out quietly. But judging by his state, he wasn’t. Sanemi pushes away from the door, shaking his head.

“Yeah, I’m just peachy.” He says sarcastically, scratching at one of the scars crossing his face. “I just threw up, what do you think.”

Giyuu sets the kettle back on its base without a word, clicking the power button to the off setting. He pulls out a chair at the small kitchen table and sits, putting his hands around his mug. The heat leeches into his palms, almost too hot, but it’s a little comforting. It’s not the same wet heat that he felt in his nightmare. 

The sound of chair legs scraping against the linoleum echoes in the now quiet kitchen as Sanemi plops himself down on the other chair, opposite of Giyuu. Now that Sanemi’s in the light, Giyuu can see the dark circles under his eyes, as Giyuu thought, Sanemi wasn’t sleeping well either.

“You look like shit.” Sanemi says, resting his elbow on the table, his cheek in his palm. 

“You’re one to talk.” Giyuu mumbles, fingers tracing the patterns of the mug in his hands. “You look like you haven’t slept in a week.”

“Well I haven’t.” Sanemi tugs on the string of the teabag, lifting it up and dropping it back into the water. “Where the hell did you find this?”

“In the back of the cupboard.” Giyuu takes a glance at the clock on the stove. Two more minutes left. “It wasn’t opened.”

“No shit. I didn’t even know it was in there.” Sanemi is holding his mug between his hands now, thumbs tapping against the ceramic. 

“I saw it the other day when I was cleaning out the cupboards.” The everyday conversation is helping ease Giyuu, his shoulders relaxing as he talks. “It wasn’t expired so I figured we could keep it.” And it was a good choice, he figured they’d have nights like this. 

Another glance at the clock and it’s finally passed five minutes. Giyuu lifts the mug to his lips. The hot tea is floral with hints of honey, and as he swallows he can feel it warm his core. Sanemi follows suit. They both fall to silence, the only sounds are the occasional sip as they slowly drink their tea. The quiet slowly grows oppressive, and Giyuu wants to speak, but he doesn’t know what. But to his surprise, Sanemi speaks up first.

“I had another nightmare about my family.” Sanemi doesn’t make eye contact with Giyuu, instead letting his eyes roam around the kitchen. “They’ve been getting worse since I moved in here without Genya.” Giyuu isn’t surprised by that, he knows it was hard for Sanemi to leave his last living family and move in with him. Taking a hand off his mug, Giyuu moves to place it on top of Sanemi’s. The top of his hand is cold, and Giyuu gives it a squeeze. This time Sanemi looks surprised, it’s rare for Giyuu to initiate contact on his own.

For a moment Giyuu is silent before he also speaks.

“I… had a nightmare about my childhood friend. And when he… passed.” Giyuu can barely force the words out, but he feels he should. “And all the… all the blood.” Giyuu can feel bile rise in the back of his throat as his stomach twists at the memory. Sanemi moves his hand on top of Giyuu’s, his turn giving it a squeeze.

“You don’t have to talk about it.” Giyuu nods. Slowing his breathing, he looks up at Sanemi, who squeezes his hand again. Sanemi’s eyes look unusually tender and soft. 

“Ha, I made this tea so we could get back to sleep, but I’m not sure if I want to.” Giyuu’s laugh is hollow. He really doesn’t want to go back to sleep anymore, in case he’s returned to that time that he wishes he could forget. Sanemi’s thumb rubs circles on the back of Giyuu’s hand, his callouses rough against his skin.

“No way in hell I wanna go back to sleep after that either.” Sanemi snorts, removing his hand and leaning back in his chair. “Might as well watch some TV or something.” Giyuu nods, and stands up.

“You done?” Sanemi pushes his mug forward, and Giyuu picks them both up, carefully placing them in the sink so they don’t chip. 

Giyuu stretches his back and cracks his knuckles before moving towards the couch in the connected living room. Finding the remote on the coffee table, Giyuu picks it up and drops himself on the couch, Sanemi following him and draping an arm around his shoulders. Clicking on the TV and quickly turning down the volume, a campy action movie pops up on the screen. 

“Is this fine with you?” Giyuu asks, and he can feel Sanemi shrug against him, so he puts the remote down. They watch quietly as they watch the main character run around, doing things he definitely shouldn’t be able to do and kissing women he probably shouldn’t be kissing. 

After a while, he can feel Sanemi’s breathing even out and feels his chin on his shoulder. Looking out the corner of his eye, it looks like Sanemi fell asleep, his face looking relaxed and calm. Giyuu returns his attention to the movie, but the soft murmur of voices and sounds slowly lulls Giyuu, his eyes slowly closing. He can feel Sanemi’s even breathing against his ear as he rests his head against Sanemi’s, and slowly lets his eyes close. Hopefully this time he’ll be blessed with a nice dream, one of the future that he hopes to see.

Notes:

Find me on twitter!