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It was a cloudy night in August. Hours after the sun had set, the thick summer air had finally cooled to a much more comfortable temperature. The moon was full that night, but it was hidden behind a veil of clouds that obscured it from sight. It would have been a perfect night for moon viewing otherwise. But the clouds did not deter Hisoka; He was determined to see the full moon. He sat out in the courtyard, a half-empty bag of marshmallows in his lap and a blanket given to him by Homare draped across his shoulders. He wasn’t sure how long he had been there staring up at the night sky, a few hours possibly. Everyone in the Mankai dorms had likely long-since gone to bed, with room 103 being the exception. It was a friday night, meaning Itaru would be gaming through the night. As for Chikage, he had been working late every day for the past week. He didn’t like to talk about the details of his day job, he only told his housemates that he was busy with meetings and to not wait up. He even refused to give Hisoka any information about his work. Hisoka had left that world, Chikage told him. He wouldn’t risk Hisoka's safety by getting him involved.
It was well past midnight when Chikage finally returned to the dorms. He knew everyone would be fast asleep by then, so he had to stay quiet as he made his way to his room. Luckily, Chikage was well versed in that skill. He stepped quietly through the halls and exited to the courtyard. But before he got to his door he noticed a familiar face gazing up at the sky.
“What are you doing out here so late at night? I’d expect you to have been asleep hours ago.” Chikage approached the bench where Hisoka sat.
“I’m watching the moon…” Hisoka’s eyes, or rather his eye that wasn’t obscured by his silver bangs, were locked up towards the sky. He didn’t turn to greet his friend as he approached.
“You still do that?” Chikage asked.
“Yeah… Sometimes I join Misumi and Tsumugi, they like to watch too… It’s better with family...”
Chikage paused for a moment and his shoulders tensed. The world family always cut him deeply.
“Yeah, it really is...” The two stewed in that moment, neither one wanting to break the tension.
“… I wanted to see the moon tonight. It’s a full moon, but there are too many clouds.” Hisoka said after a beat of silence. He kept looking up at the sky as if he were waiting for something to appear.
“So? Why are you still sitting out here then?” Chikage wasn’t too surprised, Hisoka had never been the most reasonable person.
“…. The clouds might go away… If they do, I wanna see it.” Hisoka said, reaching for a few marshmallows from his bag.
“Heh, I should have expected that from you…” Chikage let out a small chuckle. “You’ll probably fall asleep out here before the clouds clear up though, and it’s not good for you to keep sleeping outside. Let’s go inside.”
Before Chikage could usher Hisoka to his room, Hisoka reached out and limply grabbed the sleeve of Chikage’s shirt. Chikage immediately froze and tensed up at the unexpected touch. Chikage pulled away on reflex but Hisoka’s grip then tightened in response.
“Sit with me….”
Chikage didn’t know how to respond at first.
“I had a late night at work. I want to get some rest-” He tried to shake off Hisoka’s hand, but he was persistent.
“Sit here with me… We can watch the moon together.” Hisoka finally looked away from the cloudy sky to meet Chikage’s gaze. His bright green eyes were filled with a flurry of emotions that struck a chord within Chikage.
“Alright, if it means that much to you I’ll keep you company for a while.” Chikage huffed a bit as he tugged his hand away once more, and Hisoka finally released his grip. Chikage took a seat next to Hisoka on the bench.
“... Thanks…” Hisoka smiled as he turned his attention back up above.
The two sat in silence staring up at the sky. The night sky was filled with clouds, but there was a slight glow of the moon shining through like a faint glimmer of hope. The few small gaps in the cloudy covering allowed stars and moonlight to shine through.
As they sat there, a thick tension remained in the air between Chikage and Hisoka. They both knew exactly what it was but neither wanted to mention it, let alone be the first to bring it up. So they just sat together, stewing in their thoughts.
After a few minutes, Hisoka finally broke the silence.
“We used to watch the moon together a lot…” Hisoka kept his gaze fixed on the sky.
“Yeah, we did. It was nice…” Chikage replied, trying to sound indifferent. But there was still sadness in his voice. Neither wanted to address the elephant in the room.
“... It’s August’s birthday in a few days…” Hisoka mumbled, looking down at his shoes for a moment. He let out a deep breath as he finally broke the tension they had both been feeling.
“I figured that was on your mind too.” Chikage had been thinking about it for weeks now. Every birthday was a painful reminder of the family he had lost. Reuniting with Hisoka and finding a new family in the Mankai company had given Chikage a sense of peace and security that he hadn’t felt since losing August. He had family to come home to again. He had people who cared about his well-being. But it didn’t make the reminder of his passing any easier to cope with.
“He always tried so hard making birthday cakes for all of us…”
“And yet they were always burnt.” Chikage responded.
“That’s why I said he tried… ” Hisoka said with a faint smile. Chikage couldn’t help but chuckle at the reply. The tension was slowly lifting between the two.
“He sure cared a lot about us, huh…” Chikage said, his eyes on the sky. Hisoka nodded as he pawed through his bag for the last of his marshmallows.
Hisoka then paused for a moment, as if he was processing his next thoughts before he spoke.
“... There was a full moon that night… I remember how bright it was as I fell into the ocean… It was the only thing other than my name that I remembered once I woke up.” Hisoka looked back up at the sky as he relived that night. Chikage looked at his friend, unsure of what to say.
“... There are so many things I don’t remember… Sometimes I don’t want to. Some memories hurt and I wish I could forget them… But I can’t, I don’t want to erase my past. No matter how much it hurts, I could never erase my memories of you and August.” Hisoka paused again as he took a deep breath. A few tears had begun to well up in his eyes as he spoke. “I’m sorry that I can’t fully grant August’s last wish, but I promise that I will keep living… I’ll keep living my new life as Hisoka Mikage for him…”
Chikage sat there, surprised by Hisoka’s sudden declaration.
“You sure are talkative tonight...” Chikage joked to break some of the tension. “You must have a lot on your mind, huh?” Chikage looked back up to the sky.
“Hmmmm…” Hisoka hummed in agreement.
“I wish I could have been there for you and August that night. I wish I could have gotten to say goodbye… I never got to process that grief or mourn. They just threw me right back into the fray. And I felt so alone...” Chikage pushed up his glasses as he tried to subtly wipe the tears from his eyes. He always tried to bury his emotions to seem calm and calculated, but he couldn’t keep his emotions bottled up any longer. He took a deep breath as he continued, “But I’m not alone anymore… I know the truth, and I’ve found this new life. Never in a million years would I imagined being an actor, but I feel safe here. I haven't felt safe among others in a long time.”
“I’m glad you’re here Chikage… It was so scary when I lost my memories, and when small things would come back to me, they confused me even more…”
“I probably didn’t help with that much when I first arrived…” Chikage said with a sigh.
“No… I didn’t know why you were so angry at me… And then so many memories rushed back at once… But it’s not your fault, you didn’t know the truth either… I’m glad you didn’t kill the director though.”
“I was never going to hurt her, you know.” Chikage replied indignantly, which made Hisoka smile.
“I’m just glad we’re safe together again…”
Hisoka noticed the shift in Chikage’s face and body language as he stewed
“...Chikage….”
“What is it?”
“We should go back there…. To the place…” Hisoka hesitated through his sentence
“During our last show I went there with the Winter Troupe. I wasn’t sure if I could face that place again, but they helped me feel safe. I left some flowers and I was able to finally tell them about what happened… Well, some of what happened. I don’t think they’re ready for the full truth yet…It hurt to be back there…” Hisoka took a deep breath.
“I remember that. The others mentioned how much you cried.”
“... Yeah, I did.”
“You had a dream where you saw August that night.”
“I did… I saw him and I apologized that I couldn’t fully fulfill his wish. But he understood… I told him that I missed him, and asked if we would see each other again one day… He even had some marshmallows for me…”
“That sure sounds like a dream only you could have.”
“I think we should go there again, for his birthday. We can leave him some flowers and sweets… I think it will help him rest in peace.”
Chikage hesitated. He wasn’t there the night August died and Hisoka went missing. It was a shock to him when he was informed the next day. He never got to mourn or process the grief he felt that day. Instead it was bottled up, mostly into the desire for revenge based on the lies he was told. Even after his reuniting with Hisoka, he had never properly gotten to mourn August.
“That sounds like an great idea. I can pick up sweets and flowers after work, unless you’d like to come with me?” Chikage looked towards Hisoka who softly nodded. Chikage gave a soft smile and looked back up to the sky. The clouds were slowly starting to part, and a small part of the full moon was visible. “Let’s go after rehearsal then. Besides, you’d know the kinds of sweets that he liked better than I would.”
“You don’t know a thing when it comes to anything other than spices…” Hisoka said with a small grin.
“Says the one who’s eaten enough marshmallows to turn into one.” Chikage retorted with a chuckle.
The tension has finally dissolved in the air around the two. They sat watching the sky, feeling relieved to have finally opened up to each other. As much as they loved their Mankai family, they couldn’t risk involving any of them in their secretive past. It wasn’t often that Hisoka and Chikage got to speak privately with each other.
Hisoka reached into his bag to grab another marshmallow, only to find it empty. He looked down in disappointment.
“Are you out already?” Chikage said, unsurprised.
“…. Yeah… I should have brought another bag….” Hisoka sighed.
“Or you could try eating something else for a change.” Chikage replied, knowing they’ve had this conversation countless times before.
But Hisoka didn’t reply. He went silent as he shut his eyes. He couldn’t hold off his fatigue any longer and he began to faintly snore.
“...Hisoka?” Before Chikage could react Hisoka slumped over, sound asleep on Chikage’s lap.
“Seriously? Come on, sleepyhead. At least get back to your bed.” He nudged the sleeping Hisoka to no avail. “Don’t make me drag you to your bed.” But as he watched Hisoka sleeping, Chikage felt the unstoppable wave of fatigue hit him.His eyelids became heavy, and before he could shake it off Chikage slipped into a deep sleep. His sleeping body slumped back against the bench. Hisoka’s quiet snoring was the only noise in the peaceful courtyard.
As the pair drifted further into sleep, the sky began to clear. The wind disapated the cloud cover, and soon the full moon shone down with its full brilliance. The courtyard was illuminated by the glowing moonlight. For a brief moment Hisoka woke up. Glancing upwards, he saw what he had been waiting for all night. He smiled and his eyes welled with tears as he saw the bright moon.
“ Thank you for everything, August…” he thought to himself as he drifted back to sleep.