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The Bookman’s Shelves, much like everything else in Il Mheg, was a long-abandoned remnant of the fallen kingdom of Voeburt. Abandoned no more, Thancred thought to himself, since Urianger had claimed the forgotten library for his own use shortly after his arrival in this cursed world.
It was the perfect home for the studious Elezen. Or elf, as they called him in the First, much to the man’s consistent dismay. Perhaps that was why he locked himself away deep within pixie territory, where few were brave enough to venture. It was indeed this very reason Thancred found himself there, as well.
“You could stand to pick the place up a bit,” Thancred mused as his eyes fell upon the scattered mass of tomes strew about the floor. Urianger simply grunted in response as he perused one of the nearby bookshelves.
“Minfilia is outside?” Urianger asked after a moment, his attention still mostly locked on the towering shelves.
“Imbuing my ammunition,” Thancred confirmed with a nod. “We have a few minutes at least before she interrupts us.”
That at least got a slight bit of attention. Urianger’s head turned ever so slightly so he could see his companion out of the corner of his eye. “Tis folly to keep secrets from the girl.”
“She’s barely more than a child,” Thancred mused absentmindedly.
Urianger frowned. “And yet she understandeth more than thou wouldst acknowledge.”
“That’s just it, Urianger,” Thancred returned with a frown of his own. “She understands everything I tell her. She’s barely eleven years old, and yet…”
Urianger stood to his full height, towering a full head over his company. “She is not Minfilia,” Urianger told him firmly. “Not thine own Minfilia, at the least.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” Thancred asked indignantly, turning away toward the mess of books strewn behind him. “I understand better than you think, Urianger.”
The Elezen paused. “T’was not mine intent to imply thou wert…. lesser.”
“Tis never your intent,” Thancred returned, his words biting a bit more than he intended. Urianger clearly felt the full brunt of it, nonetheless.
“My dearest Thancred,” Urianger began, melting the last remnants of ice surrounding the other man’s heart, “mine only intent, I assure thee, is…”
Urianger trailed off, and Thancred was sure he heard a hitch in the younger man’s voice. “Your only intent was what, exactly?”
“Well, mine intent was, of course, simply thy best interests,” Urianger explained with a minimum of stammering.
“My best interests, eh?” Thancred asked, a smirk forming on his face. “And what, pray tell, are my best interests?”
Urianger stared at him for a moment, and while many may have found themselves perplexed by his practiced composure, Thancred could easily read his obvious discomfort.
“Thancred, thou knowest better than most that I am ill versed in the ways of… well, of…”
“Parenting?” Thancred offered with a smile.
Urianger all but sneered. “Minfilia is not our child, Thancred.”
Thancred couldn’t help but laugh. “I have to admit, if she were a dry run for our future, I’d say we’ve done quite poorly.”
“Thancred.” The bite in Urianger’s voice put an end to Thancred’s laughter. “I know, more than most, the pain this situation bringeth thee.”
Thancred sighed under his breath. This wasn’t the first time he’d heard this speech, and despite his best efforts he was sure it wouldn’t be the last.
“But I must remind thee that Minfilia is a whole person, and she is not your Minfilia.”
“Stop reminding me, Urianger,” Thancred told him with a sigh. “I’m well aware.”
“And yet thou hast not accepted it,” the Elezen returned in exasperation. “The girl, though her name might be that of our Minfilia, is not the Antecedent we know.”
“I know, blast it!” Thancred shouted in spite of himself. “She’s not my Minfilia, and what am I supposed to do with that? Every time I look at her, I just…”
Thancred’s voice trailed off, the hint of pain impossible to hide. He knew. He knew that his Minfilia was in there, and that there was no way to separate her from the girl he had all but adopted. He wanted to love her. To love her and treat her the way she deserved, the way Minfilia had asked him to. But every time he looked at her…
“Thancred?”
And there she was. His new Minfilia.
“Done with your imbuing?” he asked without skipping a beat.
The girl nodded enthusiastically, smiling at him the way she always did. He smiled, his heart swelling and breaking all at once. She loved him, and he loved her, but… was it enough? He wanted it to be enough. He willed it to be enough.
“Dearest Minfilia,” Urianger began, smiling warmly at the girl, “wouldst thou wish to select a tome from these halls to keep thee on thy journey?”
The young girl’s eyes lit up as a smile blossomed on her face. “Truly, may I?” she asked. Somehow, she was always surprised, even though Urianger offered this same boon each time she visited.
“Perhaps peruse the tomes upstairs,” Urianger suggested, and Minfilia wasted no time in vaulting up the stairs toward the second floor.
“You did that on purpose,” Thancred accused, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
The Elezen silently approached him, placing his delicate hands on the other man’s shoulders. “Thancred… take care of thyself in addition to thy charge.”
“I have no idea what you mean,” the Hyur returned, moving to break free of his companion’s grip, but Urianger’s hands held fast.
“Thancred.”
“You worry too much.”
Instead of annoyance, Urianger’s features spread into a warm smile. “Tis the very least I can do for the man who hath stolen my heart.”
Thancred felt a warmth rise in his cheek. “Urianger, you’re going to make me blush.”
The Elezen smiled. “Then my work is done.”
A deep sigh escaped from Thancred’s lips. “Once Minfilia returns, we must leave. The Eulmoran army–“
“I understand,” Urianger interrupted. “T’would do thee no good to lead thy enemy to this place.”
“I would pay good coin to see Ran’jit deal with these pixies,” Thancred admitted with a laugh, earning himself a smile from his companion.
“Promise me this, Thancred,” Urianger began.
“I’ll come back soon.”
The Elezen couldn’t help but smile. “Promise me thou wilt treat the girl with love and respect.”
There was a long silence between them before Thancred spoke. “I promise I’ll be back soon,” Thancred told him, his expression stony and serious. “And then you can judge for yourself.”
“Thancred,” Urianger chided, but the bard only laughed.
“You worry too much, old man.”
“Old…?”
Thancred’s grin only grew. “Minfilia!” he called toward the stairs. After a moment, the girl’s head peeked from around the corner. “Make your selection quickly. We need to leave.”
“Alright,” she promised with a grin. “I’ll be right down!”
“Thancred…”
“Don’t worry, Urianger,” Thancred insisted with a smile. “I know who she is, and I know who I am.”
“Thou art certain of this?” Urianger asked with a furrowed brow. “My concern for thee is based in–“
“Love,” Thancred finished for him. “I know.”
“I shall be here,” Urianger told him sternly. “Shouldst thou need it, do not hesitate to call upon me.”
Before Thancred could respond, Urianger stepped forward and placed a loving kiss upon the shorter man’s forehead. Another blush rose in Thancred’s cheeks.
“I’m ready!” Minfilia announced as she bounded down the stairs, a large book clutched to her breast like a bar of gold.
“I suspect thou hast made a wise selection,” Urianger told her with a broad, warm smile.
“I hope so!” the girl responded, grinning up at the Elezen. “I’ll have it read cover to cover by the time we return.”
“I should expect no less from one such as thee,” Urianger returned with a chuckle. “And whenst thou dost return, another tome patiently awaits thee.”
“Well, Minfilia, I think it’s about time we were off,” Thancred interrupted, earning a frown from his charge. Thancred frowned in turn; Urianger always made him out to be the bad guy.
“When will we be back?” Minfilia asked, her eyes flitted from Thancred to Urianger.
“Soon,” Thancred promised with the most earnest smile he could muster. “As soon as we can.”
“No matter the time that transpires betwixt thy sojourns,” Urianger began, “the library shall remain, always, at thy beck and call.”
“Thank you, Urianger, for making it so easy for us to leave,” Thancred said with an air of annoyance. Even Minfilia picked up on it, if her giggling was any indication. “Come, Minfilia.”
“Yes, Thancred,” she replied diligently, doing her best not to laugh.
“Do return soon,” Urianger demanded with a smile.
Thancred couldn’t help but return the smile. “Be sure to keep your neighbors just enough in check for us to make it through.”
“I shall do my utmost to ensure your passage is uneventful.” While the Eulmorans’ is not, were the words left unspoken.
Without another word, Minfilia rushed forward and wrapped her hands around the Elezen’s waist. “I’ll miss you, Urianger.”
“And I thee, my dear,” he replied, returning the embrace with a smile. “And also thee, Thancred.”
Thancred smiled and dramatically rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, and I thee too.”
Urianger ignored his snark and simply smiled. “Pray, return to the Bookman’s Shelves.”
Thancred’s smiled turned to a stony glare. I hate you, he thought. And in the look Urianger gave him in return, he could almost hear I love you, too.