Archive of Our Own ^beta

Deep inhalation infused Kakeru's blood with fresh oxygen. He raised a hand to gently pat his stomach – the paper attached to the front crackled – and breathed out slowly, relaxing his shoulders and back. The light running shorts and jersey he wore – black, in the colours of Kansei’s track team – fitted his legs and torso snugly and fluttered in the soft summer wind that blew through the streets of Sapporo.

Kakeru stood at the starting line, waiting for Joji to arrive and hand him their team’s sash. He faced the spot between an apartment complex and the 7-Eleven where the twin should soon appear as he had been already announced earlier. Kakeru solely focused on that spot and that spot alone, ignoring all of the colourful banner decorating the sides, the shouts of so many names and universities being yelled across the large area of the exchange point, and every other noise the masses made.

Kakeru focused on the air running through his chest, his legs that felt as if they were in the best condition he could ask for, the lone man who was fighting for their team right now, and the road behind himself that would lead him to the finish line. He felt neither excitement nor nervousness, he was calm – inside and out – and looked back to be ready and take the sash; to bring it forth.

He waited, patiently and in silence, exhaled and inhaled, relaxed the very last tense muscle he felt in his shoulder and then, he smiled.

He wouldn’t be alone when he would finish this Ekiden, he knew that there were the twins and the other two members, who had been in the lead pack in their respective sections.

Kakeru knew that he wouldn’t be alone, yet he would miss Haiji being there, waiting for him.

Haiji, who had too much work to take time off and come and watch him; who had promised to watch the Ekiden on TV. But Kakeru knew that it wouldn’t be the same. Haiji wasn’t here, in Sapporo on Hokkaido. He wouldn’t wait for him at the finish line or be there when the results were announced or after to discuss each section and the conditions of the day. Haiji was in Tokyo, working and earning money, and definitely not where Kakeru would take over the sash from Joji. Today, it would be just the five students of them, five men who would fight for a place among the firsts at Sapporo Ekiden.

A sudden thrill shot through Kakeru as he saw a flash of grin and blond approaching the exchange point. Joji increased his pace for the last metres, took off the sash, and extended an arm, ready to hand it over.

Kakeru pushed every thought away and focused on his friend with wide eyes, his arm outstretched. Joji approached and in a split second, Kakeru grabbed the sash and dashed away.

Freely.

If Kakeru would need a word to describe the way he ran it would be ‘freely’.

The streets of Sapporo seemed to broader, more open, compared to the narrow canyons that Tokyo sometimes seemed to resemble. The wind was gentle and swiped kindly through his hair, neither pushing nor pulling. It also wasn’t as cold – definitely not as cold as he had experienced it during high school – but comparing Hokkaido in summer with Tokyo in January were two completely different worlds, not considering his past (it was nothing like that after all).

Sapporo’s warm wind welcomed him, embracing him while he ran over concrete and tarmac, past the crowds of cheering spectators, past giant screens announcing various information about the teams and the race, and only minding the way and the water bottles being shoved into his hands. Taking long measure strides, Kakeru set a steady pace and didn’t let himself confuse by the others trailing behind or passing him. He strode forward, and maybe it was just his imagination, but he felt that the wind grew warmer around him the more kilometres he accomplished. Maybe it was also the blood cursing much faster through his body as it had been fifteen minutes ago when he had taken the sash that was moist by sweat and water.

Kakeru glanced up into the sky, the blue veiled by little clouds, and noticed that this mild weather was perfect for running. Suida-sensei had been right about that, summer on Hokkaido was truly beautiful and Kakeru didn’t regret his decision to participate in this Ekiden.

The closer he came to the goal, the houses seemed to accumulate on both sides of the streets. Being the final runner of Kansei, Kakeru’s leg guided him through the even grounds of the north leading to the very centre of the city. When he passed a shopping area, he could see the glimpses of the TV Tower, its bright red colour glistening in the afternoon sun. Somewhere at the edge of his mind the tower vaguely reminded Kakeru of Tokyo Tower, but once he looked ahead again, the thought was gone and he only concentrated on where he was going, how his legs felt, his shoulders, his back. He breathed steadily and when a water bottle appeared next to him, he grabbed it and emptied it over his head, huffing.

One kilometre later, Kakeru noticed that more and more people seemed to be gathering, and although he ignored the crowds and loud shouts, he could see that most of them were standing near the finish line. A wide field opened up, green and fertile, giving direct view on the red tower, and then Kakeru felt it.

Something was there, waiting for him. It tugged at his insides, pulling him closer, despite the wind not increasing in strength.

Where was it?

The finish line came in sight, less than a kilometre away, a bright green ribbon fluttered in the gentle wind.

There it was again, the tugging feeling, familiar and gentle and so, so warm. Kakeru knew what it was before he heard the shout.

The voice was distinct – a voice he would be able to distinguish everywhere – a rough cry of a soft and kind tune that had rocked him more than once into sleep. It was the only sound Kakeru filtered out of all the other noise surrounding him.

He turned his head to the side, following the call.

A flash of brown, two gleaming dark orbs staring at him, amazed and soft and wild, an open mouth ready to shout his name again but it didn’t, an orange coat, light for summer days.

Kakeru stared right back and in a split second, it was over. Haiji was already behind him, fusing with the crowd, and Kakeru focused on the finish line. His speed increased, his legs felt as if they could run forever and ever, a weight was taken off his shoulders and he felt free, free to run wherever he wanted.

The green line broke and the noise around him became deafening.

As soon as he crossed the line, Kakeru whirled around, searching for those brown eyes that had stared at him just a second ago. But he couldn’t find them. Had it been a dream after all? An illusion?

Confused, he stared into the crowed behind him, waiting for an arm to wave, another shout, guttural and hoarse already. But nothing.

Haiji has to work, Kakeru told himself. He said he couldn’t come to watch. My team and me came alone on the Shinkansen two days ago.

Suddenly, someone threw a towel over his back and gently pushed him to the side. Kakeru, realising that he was blocking the way, complied and walked with wobbly legs toward the tents.

Maybe he had made a mistake. It hadn’t been Haiji, it had been someone else, cheering for him for some reason.

"KAKERU!"

The same voice shouted his name, much closer now. A buzz shot through his weak legs.

"Kakeru! I’m here!"

Kakeru whipped his head around and immediately found those large brown eyes of his boyfriend, who approached him with wide arms, fighting his way through the people that blocked his path.

"Ha… Ha…" Kakeru wheezed and gripped the edge of his towel, staring perplexed at the older man. Sweat drops dripped down Kakeru’s sides and his legs were a little wobbly still, but he didn’t mind them, he only focused on his boyfriend.

Haiji came closer and finally he was there, he was here, reaching out for Kakeru to take him into a quick embrace.

"It’s okay, Kakeru, calm down. I’m here now," Haiji’s voice, much calmer now, spoke into his ear. Then he pulled away, threw a quick glance over Kakeru and started to rub his back and arms with the towel that felt soft against his sweaty and sore skin.

"Ho… How," Kakeru finally brought out, still staring at Haiji.

Haiji blinked, but smiled bashfully. "Well," he started, "they shooed me away when I said I wanted to wait behind the finish line for you. I said that I knew you but I’m not a student so they wouldn’t let me. It would’ve been super romantic otherwise, but–"

"No, Ho–Hokkaido… Sapporo. How?" Kakeru swallowed.

"Oh." Haiji realised what he meant despite his inability to string words together. "Well, I just finished my job early and asked a colleague for the few hours missing and took the next train leaving Tokyo station," he explained, grinning widely.

"I watched it. I watched it all, Kakeru," Haiji added then, quieter now, but soon his voice grew in strength again. "You were amazing! You were flying over Namboku! And you even speeded up at the end, incredible. They showed you so often on the screen, I’m so proud of you."

Kakeru just nodded and tore his eyes away to look at the giant screen, showing the results.

They placed second.

A 13 seconds difference.

Stunned by the high ranking in an Ekiden Kansei had never participated in before, Kakeru’s jaw dropped. Just when he read that Sapporo University had taken first place, Haiji’s voice let him turn around again.

"Here, drink."

"Th–thanks." He accepted the water bottle, already uncapped, which was shoved into his fingers and sipped at it, still trying to catch his breath from his flight.

While he was busy drinking and calming down, Haiji continued to rub him down with the towel while he chatted about the train ride, his experience using the tunnel connecting Aomori and Hakodate, and the breakfast he had bought at the konbini before boarding the train, well before any usual breakfast time.

"I swear," Haiji said laughing, "one of the others bought the same and told me it was his late-night dinner."

Kakeru had no air to reply, but Haiji didn’t seem to mind that firstly there was no response, and secondly that Kakeru just kept staring at him. Kakeru tried to register that he was truly there, next to him, a Haiji in the flesh and chatting about his day and the many people had had met on the train.

Cracking a smile, Kakeru’s insides were flooded with happiness and relief. Haiji was here, he was with him. He had known that he didn’t run alone, but now he was certain that the feeling he had had at the beginning had been genuine. He would never be alone.

"KAKERU! YOU MADE IT!" Jota’s loud voice behind them made Haiji and Kakeru turn around.

"Second!! Second place!" Joji shouted right behind his brother, trailing along with the other two team members, who carried Kakeru’s belongings.

"Wha–"

"HAIJI-SAN!"

The twins stood still in shock, then they started running towards their former captain. Haiji hugged them both at once with a broad smile on his lips. When he let them go, he greeted the other two, who were rather shy and reserved, but smiled happily when Joji explained who Haiji was. As if he was never mentioned during training at all.

"Kakeru," Haiji then said and took a few steps back. "You should change into something clean. There are some tents for that, right?" He glanced to the side.

"R–right, I will… uh…"

Kakeru wanted to reach for his bag, but his hand trembled and he gave the first year an apologetic glance.

"Sorry," he muttered when he gripped past the handle.

"Here, let me." Haiji took the bag. "Thanks," he added to the first year – Miyama – and patted Kakeru’s shoulder before announcing, "We’ll be back in a few minutes."

The twins gave him a thumbs-up and the other two nodded before Jota started to celebrate, pulling their team members along.

Kakeru chuckled at the mirthful gathering and hoped that the others around wouldn’t mind too much. He followed Haiji’s guidance and felt a firm hand resting between his shoulder blades, taking him to the tent where they found a calm corner. Kakeru changed into his long jersey, his track coat, and fresh socks, before finally slipping back into his shoes. Later, he would take a shower back in the hotel, for now this had to make do.

Once changed, Kakeru settled on one of the benches provided and took a few sips of water. Then he looked up and gazed at his boyfriend, who repacked Kakeru’s bag.

"You’re really here," Kakeru mumbled, finally having his voice back.

Haiji flashed him a grin. "I am! Drink some more. Oh, and here."

"Huh, wha– oompf."

Suddenly, Haiji’s face had come very close and a brush of lips against his left a tingling feeling on his skin.

"Take this as well," Haiji mumbled against his skin, dark eyes gazing down at him.

"Thanks," Kakeru replied, stunned, but then he giggled. The sudden heat spreading across his cheek didn’t have anything to do with the distance he had just run.

While he continued to drink his water, Haiji finished packing, and when Kakeru was ready, they left the tent and met the rest of the – still celebrating – team members.

It didn’t take long until several interviewers started to gather around them and Kakeru called his team together so they could answer a few questions while Haiji took care of their belongings. The twins were overly excited to be interviewed for a TV channel in Sapporo and the other two smiled shyly as they responded politely to the questions. Kakeru stayed calm and collected and as he talked about the race, the weather, and the general conditions, he noticed Haiji’s gaze on him. His eyes were glowing warmly and there was a calm atmosphere surrounding him as he waited at the side, clutching to the handle of Kakeru’s backpack and having Joji’s messenger slung around his shoulder.

Kakeru couldn’t wait to go finally back to his boyfriend.

But once the interview was done, the whole affair wasn’t over as they were asked to take pictures of the team for the newspapers. Kakeru groaned internally, but let himself get swept away by Joji’s and Jota’s immediate positive response. It wasn’t that they were never in the paper, but Hokkaido did it for the twins and Kakeru couldn’t blame them, they had been dreaming of going to this prefecture for three years.

Once the cameras and tripods and people with microphones left them to attend to the team that had made third place, Kakeru heaved a sigh of relief and smiled when Haiji rejoined them.

"You should take a picture, Kakeru. With Haiji-san!" Joji exclaimed and already reached for his bag to take it off the older man’s shoulder.

Kakeru and Haiji exchanged a look, but Haiji’s soft expression didn’t change and Kakeru didn’t mind, as long as this picture wouldn’t be revealed to the public. Kakeru nodded, then he looked sternly at Joji.

"No posting it online, you hear?"

Joji frowned. "Why would I do that?"

"It’s for your memory album," Jota added, crossing his arms in front of his chest, as if he wanted to look like a professional.

"Memory album?" Haiji repeated, snickering, and pulled Kakeru toward the banner ad that showed a giant picture of runners in front of the TV Tower just below the lettering of Sapporo Ekiden 2021.

"You know," Jota shrugged, "when you’re married, old and wrinkled, one day you will look at it and remember the Sapporo Ekiden as the Ekiden of your dreams."

"If you can remember, that is," his brother added.

"Ma–ma–married?" Kakeru stuttered and glanced at Haiji, feeling his cheeks getting hot.

Haiji smiled. "I like that thought," he murmured just for Kakeru to hear.

"Oh… M–me too, uhm…"

"Okay, get ready, guys!"

Click.

"Yeah, nice one. One more, just to be sure nobody closed their eyes or something."

Another click resounded and Kakeru breathed out; when had he started to keep his breath? He threw another glance at Haiji, who was totally unfazed by the prospect of marrying, and went to Jota to inspect the pictures.

"They’re lovely," he said approvingly.

"And now with us!" Joji demanded, already taking long strides towards the ad. "Jota, come!"

"What am I? A dog?"

"Okay, no fighting! Are you done?" Haiji directed the camera of Jota’s phone on the twins.

"No, Haiji-san, you too!"

"Huh? Oh, uhm." Haiji turned and handed phone and bag over to Kakeru. "Can you…"

"Yes, of course."

Kakeru took the phone, watched his friends arrange themselves and smiled when Haiji put both of his arms around either twin. They all grinned so wide that the sheer mirth they radiated made Kakeru laugh.

"Okay," Kakeru lowered his hands and smiled at the other two team members, "Miyama-kun, Nishika-kun, would you like a picture as well?"

The two shy students looked at him, then nodded fervently. Haiji took over again and the five runners got taken a picture of them.

"For the club room!" Joji shouted and inspected the pictures by peeking over his brother’s shoulder.

"Shouldn’t we use the one they do at the stage when we get our medals?"

"Both is fine, I think," Miyama said quietly and Joji agreed, ruffling Miyama’s hair, leaving it astray.

"KANSEI! KANSEI DAI!"

A shout went through the crowd and Kakeru turned his head to look at the source. Before he could find it, Nishika already said, "They call us for the award ceremony! Kakeru-senpai, maybe it would be good to head over to the stand?"

"Oh, yes. Of course!" Kakeru searched for brown eyes and found them immediately. "See you after?"

Haiji beamed. "Of course! You can give me your stuff."

Haiji, functioning as a temporary hallstand, raised his arms and received several bags. Knowing that his boyfriend was taking good care of everything, Kakeru smiled and guided his team to the stand.

They climbed the stairs and Kakeru – being the captain of the team – felt utterly nervous when he went ahead to see the speaker waiting for them. Joji, Jota, Miyama and Nishika lined up behind him and next to the team of Sapporo University. The third place followed and so three teams stood on the stand, waiting for the speaker to begin the ceremony.

Kakeru looked into the crowd, the many unknown faces and banners and people shouting names of the popular Sapporo University. Lucky to not be called by name directly, Kakeru let his eyes gaze around – mainly to distract himself from whatever he would need to do in a few minutes – and although he didn’t see Haiji among the masses, he knew that his boyfriend was there. The thought of being able to go back to him later relaxed him and he took a deep breath before directing his eyes on the speaker.

The ceremony was short but loud. The third place was called first and many people in the crowd clapped their hands or shouted individual names. The pure cheer and happiness the spectators radiated was beautiful to experience and when Kansei Dai was called out as the second place, Kakeru was relieved that even though they were from Kantou, the people still applauded for them and celebrated their position in the Ekiden together.

The speaker hung each of them a medal around their neck, its material heavier than expected, and once the members of Sapporo University were called to the front, Kakeru took the chance of the lack of attention and took up the silvery medal. There was an engraving at the front, showing landmarks of Sapporo and Hokkaido; there were the TV Tower, the large park, the peak of a mountain and a crane flying across it. The name of the Ekiden and the data were written on the backside.

Kakeru smiled and let the metal flop back against his chest. They were done, they had received a good place and even a medal. The twins compared them as if they were pictures on which they could spot a difference, and Miyama and Nishika gazed at theirs in awe.

Once the ceremony was over – Sapporo University’s team let themselves celebrate some more – they were allowed to leave and Kakeru took the chance while he could to go down the stage. They met up with Haiji, who welcomed him with a wide smile.

"Congratulations!" Haiji shouted. "I followed each of your sections, you were amazing."

"Thank you." Kakeru smiled bashfully and heard the others speaking their thanks as well. They all gathered and Kakeru looked into the round, preparing for a tiny speech.

"You did well today," he said and everybody grinned. "We achieved a really good spot and its thanks to your hard work. I want to have a better look at each leg when we get back, but for today we will take a rest."

The team nodded and the twins grinned widely.

"We should go back to the hotel for now and drop our stuff."

His team nodded again.

"We also need to call Suida-sensei and tell him about the results."

"I think he’ll know anyway, right? Since he wanted to watch it live and all," Jota said.

"True, but we at least need to call him. I will do that. Joji, can you guide us back to the hotel?"

"Yes, captain!"

They got ready to leave, Joji took the lead, and where Jota, Miyama and Nishika joined him, Haiji and Kakeru brought up the rear. Kakeru was glad that Haiji stayed close to him and gave him a smile while he fumbled for his phone.

"You make a very good senpai, Kakeru," Haiji mumbled while Kakeru searched in his pockets for the device.

"I am?"

"Mhm, you are."

"Th–thank you," he returned, suddenly shy about it despite his confidence. "Ah, found it."

He dialled and brought the phone up to his ear, readying himself to talk to the track field supervisor.

"Suida-sensei? – Yes, Kurahara. I just wanted to– – Oh, I see. – Thank you, I–"

Kakeru blinked and put a bit distance between the speaker and his ear, trying to evade the loud cheer that came through it. Suida’s voice was loud and excited and sometimes he resembled the twins a little too much. Kakeru could also make out some chatting in the background and he highly suspected that Suida had invited the whole faculty to watch the Ekiden live in his tiny office.

"Yes, I will meet you next week. – Sure, to celebrate. – We will all come, if that is okay. – Okay, thank you, Sensei. – Good bye."

Kakeru hung up and let out a deep sigh.

"Done?" Haiji asked with a wide smirk.

"Yes," Kakeru groaned in response and put away his phone. "He’s way too excited."

"Even for a second place? This is Hokkaido after all."

"Yeah, even for that. Like Jota and Joji."

Haiji snickered and nudged Kakeru’s arm. They exchanged a smile and followed Joji to the train station, which wasn’t as busy as anticipated. The next subway brought them to their hotel and maybe it was fatigue taking finally over, but Kakeru didn’t remember much of their drive. Haiji was sitting next to him, his body warm and his arms pressed against Kakeru, and Haiji’s hand grabbed his when it was time to get out.

They exited the station and found themselves on a calm street with few traffic and no person that recognised them right away. Kakeru was in a daze and trailed behind, following a tuft of brown hair and animated chatter of Haiji and Miyama. Kakeru looked forward to just sit down and do nothing for a few minutes, when Joji’s voice disturbed his day dreaming.

"Where is your hotel, Haiji-san?"

Haiji faced the twin. "Actually, it’s the same as yours. Kakeru told me where you would be staying and I thought it would be easier to just… go there as well," he explained, happily smiling.

"You got a point," Jota replied, smirking, and winked at Kakeru who then became flustered.

"Wh–why?" Kakeru stuttered, but the blond men only laughed.

"It’s okay, Kakeru," Haiji said now and patted his shoulder, "I’ll tell you later."

Unsatisfied with the postponement, Kakeru frowned, but hummed his agreement anyway. He also noticed that Miyama and Nishika gave them curious looks and Kakeru really didn’t want to explain anything right now since he suspected it had something to do with Haiji’s and his relationship.

A few streets further down they reached the hotel. Everybody was tired and beat, but they all wanted to go out and get some food to fill up their depleted energy. Thus, they agreed to go to their respective rooms, drop their things and refresh, before meeting up again after half an hour.

As soon as the sweat was washed off by a shower and he was changed into fresh clothes, Kakeru felt much better. Being the reliable captain he was, he was the first to be in the lobby of the small hotel to wait for the others, who joined him a few minutes later.

"So, where do you want to go?" Kakeru asked.

"Ramen!" Jota exclaimed, his brother agreeing.

"Soba is actually quite famous here," Miyama said quietly but firmly enough to be heard by the loud brothers and to draw their curious eyes on him.

"Mhm, true, I heard something like that before," Haiji said, nodding. "Are you from around here? Do you know a good place?"

Miyama smiled. "I’m from Asahikawa. I haven’t been to Sapporo that often, so I’m not a good guide. Not as good as Joji-senpai."

Joji puffed up his chest, but Jota’s "He used GPS on his phone" made the pride deflate and the two bickered.

"I see," Haiji mused, ignoring the quarrel of the brothers, and frowned thoughtfully. "But if you know something good to eat, I’m sure we can find a place where to have it."

"With Joji’s phone," Jota interrupted them and Haiji gave him a look that silenced the twins immediately.

Miyama nodded and began to list a few possibilities. Joji gave his brother a mocking glare and pulled his phone to search for any restaurants. When Jota stared over his brother’s shoulder and followed, mesmerised, the many restaurants close by that offered various soba dishes, Kakeru laughed. They finally agreed on one and Joji prepared his phone for directions.

"Okay, let’s go! Kakeru!"

"Sure, let’s go," Kakeru agreed in confusion.

"You’re the captain after all," Joji added with a shrug.

"Ah, right. So, uh, let’s go!" he said laughing and made a gesture for them to head out.

Once more they followed Joji’s lead through Sapporo and ended up at an izakaya two streets away that offered a variety of dishes listed on a large menu outside the front door. Kakeru was the first to enter and went to the front desk to ask for seats. When they settled down, Kakeru heaved a sigh and leaned back against the wall.

Finally able to relax his feet a little, he gazed around and watched his team mates, his friends and his boyfriend discuss the menu and decide on their food and drinks. It was good to see Haiji interacting with Miyama and Nishika, and Kakeru smiled, glad that his boyfriend had taken the train to see him. The many hours it took to get from Tokyo to Sapporo – not considering the costs of the Shinkansen and the hotel; Kakeru would offer Haiji to pay for parts of it later – had seemed like an impossible distance. Kakeru had felt bad for thinking that he would’ve liked to have Haiji here and with him. He hadn’t asked for it directly, but he was glad that Haiji had decided to make the trip and follow his team to Hokkaido. Kakeru wasn’t exactly sure why it was important to him, but the race had been different than those he had run in Kantou without Haiji being present, although he couldn’t really define in which way they were different.

"How about you, Kakeru?"

"Hm?"

Haiji’s gentle gaze rested on him and he showed him the laminated menu. "Did you decide already?" he asked and leaned closer so that their arms touched.

"Uhm, I think I’ll take Nishika-kun’s recommendation, the take-wasabi-soba."

"I see." Haiji nodded, put down the menu on the table, and dropped his arm underneath. Kakeru didn’t think much about it, but when slender fingers touched his elbow, he glanced at Haiji, who continued to look at the menu, smiling to himself.

Their orders were taken and once the food was brought to their table, the six men began to eat. Kakeru was hungrier than he had expected and the smell the freshly cooked vegetables and noodles made his mouth water.

While eating, Kakeru couldn’t help himself by gaze at Haiji from the side. Part of him was still in disbelief that his boyfriend was sitting right next to him, on a chair in an izakaya in the south of Sapporo on Hokkaido. He was halfway through his soba that realisation shot through him that Haiji was, in fact, here. A calm feeling filled him as he watched Haiji’s cheeks growing round when he chewed on his food, the sharp jaw flexing when he smiled, and the brown eyes squeeze shut when he laughed about something Jota said.

Warmth spread through Kakeru’s chest and where he had relaxed at first to finally take a break after the Ekiden, he felt a strong desire taking over. He removed his palm from his thigh and pressed the back of his hand against Haiji’s leg. It immediately got the other’s attention, although it was merely a raised eyebrow and a worried look before a soft smile eased Haiji’s features and he even pressed his leg against Kakeru, seeking his touch.

All this went unnoticed by the rest of the team.

Together, they celebrated extensively, drank beer or juice and ate a lot. Haiji ordered food that was mostly made of carbohydrates for the whole team while talking about nutrients and proteins, to which Nishika listened carefully, eyes round and curious. They chatted freely about the race, each of their legs, the weather, the road, the scenic spots they had seen. Haiji added some comments about his trip and the crowd near the finish line where he had waited most of the time. The team reflected about the parts they thought had went well or not so well and Kakeru was very satisfied with all of them. Kansei had placed high overall in an Ekiden that their university had run for the first time.

They stayed at the izakaya until it got dark and it was time to return to their hotel as they were supposed to take the train back to Tokyo the next morning. Kakeru paid with the money they had received from Suida for such kind of expenses – hushed Haiji who insisted on paying for himself – and led them out of the izakaya, right back into the mild summer evening of Sapporo.

The temperatures weren’t as scoring as they would be in Tokyo right now, thus, walking through the mostly empty streets was a pleasant experience. Neither of them said a word and when Kakeru looked around, he saw into tired faces that demanded a good-night’s-sleep. Where Jota tried to suppress a yawn, his brother let his jaw crack and he didn’t even point out the many banner ads that were distributed around the city. But non of the people they met recognised them as they were wearing casual clothes and Kakeru thought that even he wouldn’t expect today’s Ekiden’s runner crossing his path when he exited the konbini on his way home from work.

The entire evening Haiji had stayed close to Kakeru and he was grateful for it. Even now he didn’t leave his side and Kakeru wondered whether there would be some time once they were back at the hotel. He threw a curious glance at his boyfriend and when their eyes met, he raised an eyebrow as in question. Haiji seemed to understand and smiled softly. He looked tired, but not as much as the others, and Kakeru let out a small sigh as he took the signal. Extending his arm, he let the back of his hand brush against Haiji’s and resisted the desire to interlink their hands in the middle of the street. He was sure that there would be time for this later.

"Finally," Jota groaned and Kakeru blinked, wondering what his friend meant.

They had reached the hotel at last. Kakeru and Haiji trailed behind but eventually joint the group as well.

"I can’t wait to get into bed," Joji said, looking longingly up to the rows of windows, one of them theirs.

"Let’s go, I want to have another shower."

The twins hummed and took a few steps, but Miyama’s voice stopped them when he asked, "Kakeru-senpai? You’re not coming?"

Kakeru hadn’t followed the satisfied grunts from the twins and had remained by Haiji’s side. "Oh, uhm." He looked at his boyfriend, who nodded barely noticeably. "I will go upstairs later."

Jota and Joji exchanged a glance, then they grinned and winked at Kakeru.

"Sure, Kakeru, do as you please," Joji giggled.

"But don’t wake me up," Jota added, raising a finger as if scolding Kakeru.

"I won’t." Kakeru couldn’t prevent the heat creeping across his cheeks when the twins started to laugh mirthfully.

Miyama and Nishika exchanged curious glances, but followed the twins who were already on the way inside. Once they were gone, Kakeru let out a sigh. He wanted to apologise, but when he looked at Haiji, his boyfriend had already raised an eyebrow and there was an amused smile dancing around his lips.

"We share a room," Kakeru explained.

"Ah, I see."

"We all do that to save some money. It’s a small hotel so they don’t have common rooms like for schools. Jota’s with me and Joji, Miyama and Nishika share another room."

Haiji hummed. "I think Jota’s not the type to complain when you come back a little later."

Kakeru smiled. "Yes, you’re right."

"Or," Haiji continued, "not at all for the whole night."

"But my stuff is up there?" Kakeru asked, frowning in confusion.

Brown eyes blinked rapidly, then Haiji chuckled and touched Kakeru’s hand, to which the runner automatically responded by bringing them together. "I mean… If you stay somewhere else."

"But we’re staying in this hotel, we all do."

"With someone else," Haiji added, looking almost hopeful, and when Kakeru thought his boyfriend definitely wanted him to get something, it dawned on him.

"You… You mean your…"

"Yeah," Haiji whispered, nodding. "Mine."

Kakeru swallowed and stared at his boyfriend, who snickered cheerfully.

"But let’s sit down. I want to talk to you for a little bit. Tell me about your race."

"Oh, okay." Kakeru nodded and looked around, trying to find a good seat.

They settled on a nearby bench, legs and shoulders touching, and Kakeru took a proper grip of Haiji’s hand, interlinking their fingers until their palms pressed against each other.

For a while they looked up into the night sky above Sapporo. Stars were scattered everywhere, sparking the gentle blue; they were very faint, but better to see than from Aotake’s backyard or the tiny balcony of Haiji’s flat where they had sat just a few days ago, on the last night before Kakeru had to prepare to leave. Now they were sitting in Sapporo, together and connected, by skin and passion.

And so Kakeru began to talk about the race. He tried to explain what he had felt, how his body had been, how his mind had collected and focused, how he truly had experienced the Sapporo Ekiden on his own while he’d been running through a strange city full of people he didn’t know while carrying the sash his team mates had brought him, one by one, to accomplish the goal together.

Haiji listened to all of it and where Kakeu was sure other’s wouldn’t understand what he meant, he knew that Haiji did. At the end of his words, Haiji hummed to himself before he asked, "Did you like it? Running through these unfamiliar streets?"

Kakeru frowned thoughtfully. "I didn’t think about my surroundings that much. I focused on running. There were many people of course and sometimes I heard them, but… I didn’t really see them. I just… had my legs, my lungs, my feet. Everything was there and I didn’t need to watch the others." He paused. "Sorry, that made no sense."

Haiji smiled gently, shaking his head. He took his second hand to place it on top of Kakeru’s, caressing it slowly.

"I understood perfectly, Kakeru."

"If you say so."

"Why so suspicious?"

Kakeru shrugged. "It’s late, Haiji-san, I’m already bad with words when I’m wide awake. And now you’re here and…"

Haiji looked at him curiously. "And?" he whispered. Brown orbs glistened, a sheen of mirth and curiosity.

"And," Kakeru said, his voice rough and he stared into his boyfriend’s eyes, unable to look away. "Thank you."

A chuckle. "Why do you thank me?"

"For understanding what I meant and…"

"…And?"

Kakeru gave Haiji’s hand a squeeze. "For coming here. For taking the long way, all the way to Sapporo…"

"It’s a weekend, Kakeru."

"That doesn’t matter," he hastily replied and stared bewildered at his boyfriend, who seemed a little startled. But then Haiji’s eyes shrank back to their regular size and he smiled when Kakeru continued, "I mean, it does matter of course. But you’re here. You are really here, Haiji-san, and I… it means… a lot to me. Thank you," he said again and found that he sounded kind of lame.

A few beats of silence passed and when he dared to look up – pretty sure that his skin was on fire – he noticed that Haiji’s eyes were directed at him. The deep brown was warm and soft and twinkling, just like the stars above them.

"When you told me about the Ekiden, Kakeru," Haiji said quietly, "I knew that it meant a lot to you if I would make it and come and watch you. I mean, I do come to the Hakone Ekiden every year, and other competitions around Tokyo if I have the time, but…" And now it was Haiji who squeezed Kakeru’s hand. "This was something more, right?"

Kakeru only nodded.

"I felt it." Haiji smiled. "Somehow at least," he added, chuckling. "You didn’t say anything, but I knew anyway. You were so disappointed when I said that I might not have time."

"Yes. I… I don’t know, I just felt like…" Kakeru bit his lip, wondering which words to chose now. He sighed and tilted his head back into his neck to look up into the sky. "Sapporo," he continued, "is so far away and I wanted to stay close to… to Tokyo. Coming here was really great, though. It was a nice experience with and for the team. But I knew that if you weren’t there… it would feel… weird."

From the corners of his eyes, Kakeru could see Haiji nodding.

"So when you couldn’t come to watch me, it was like… You just weren’t there, with me, waiting for me like you always do. I know that I don’t run alone and it’s alright when you don’t come to a competition when it’s in Tokyo. But this is Hokkaido, Haiji-san, this was… this is different."

"I think I understand," Haiji mumbled, his voice clear enough to be heard.

Kakeru lowered his gaze and looked at his boyfriend’s fond eyes. "Thank you."

"Mhm, you’re welcome." Haiji glanced down at Kakeru’s lips and back up again. "Can I…"

"Yeah."

Kakeru watched Haiji shift a little on the bench, turning his body to be able and lean in, and Kakeru met him halfway. He reached for Haiji’s shoulder, gripping it gently, and angled his head to brush his lips against the other’s. The first touch made them sigh and smile widely, flutter their eyes open and gaze at the other in the dim light of a distant streetlamp before they sought contact again. Kakeru slotted their lips together and as he melted in the touch of Haiji’s hot palm pressed against his cheek, he knew for certain that there would not even once be a time where he would run alone.

"Haiji-san." Kakeru swallowed as his voice nearly broke. "I think," he added, whispering against his boyfriend’s cheek so that brown hair danced in his breath.

"Hm?" Haiji said and didn’t move a centimetre. His hand slowly trailed down from Kakeru’s cheeks over his exposed neck to his shoulder, gripping it tightly.

"I think it’s okay if I don’t go back for tonight," Kakeru continued.

Haiji blinked and a smile tugged at his lips.

"I could just retrieve my stuff before breakfast."

"Mhm, good idea."

"Yes."

"Yeah."

They exchanged a smile and another brief kiss.

"Let’s go inside then," Haiji suggested and got up.

"Yes," Kakeru agreed and followed suit, their hands still interlinked.

"Before it gets too cold."

"It’s summer, Haiji-san."

Haiji looked at him unfazed. "But we’re on Hokkaido," he muttered with a shrug.

"Even summers in Hokkaido can be warm."

A frown dug between Haiji’s eyebrows, seemingly doubting this statement. "Not warm enough. I guess… I’m used to something hotter after all," he said slowly and winked at Kakeru.

Dumbfounded, Kakeru hesitated, but then he laughed and squeezed Haiji’s hand, before he started to pull him inside.