Chapter Text
Sirius sat on the sofa, pretending to watch Remus and James playing exploding snap on the other side of the common room. But mostly, he was focusing his energy on trying to seem disinterested in the girl beside him. The book he’d been pretending to read lay closed and abandoned in his lap, held loosely in his hands.
Lily sat there, flicking through a muggle photo album. Sirius struggled a little to adjust to the stationary pictures. The first time she’d shown him one of her albums, he waited for one of them to just wake up and behave like a normal photograph should. Becoming close to Lily had exposed him to a lot of muggle culture he never expected, and every bit fascinated him.
He felt something nudging his leg and looked down to see Lily prodding him with her foot.
“Yes, Lil?” he asked, raising a brow at her.
She shut the photo album, setting it in her lap as she shifted slightly so that she was facing him properly. “So, who’s the girl?” Sirius groaned, shaking his head.
“Not this again,” he grumbled, trying to hide the pleading tone in his voice under irritation. He should never have told her that he liked someone. But what was he meant to do when she was starting to work out that fact on her own? If he hadn’t said something, then sooner or later she would have worked out who it was he couldn’t stop thinking about.
Because of course he fell for the one person he couldn’t let himself want. The only person in this school that his best friend had set his sights on. Of course, he fell for Lily Evans, of all people.
She nudged him again, trying to pull his attention back. “Come on, give me a hint at least. What is she like?”
Sirius thought for a minute, trying to work out how to put how he felt about her into words, without giving himself away. “She’s beautiful, and… she’s kind.”
Lily giggled. “Oh well that’s descriptive,” she teased. “Let me guess, she gives you butterflies?” she asked as she nudged the boy, and he laughed despite himself.
Sirius pouted a little at the teasing but nodded.
“Well, I hope you’re happy,” she said kindly.
He nodded again, plastering on a fake smile. ‘But not like I would be with you,’ he thought to himself, before internally kicking himself for that thought. She wasn’t his. She couldn’t be his.
“So, how about you and James?”
The pair of them looked over at the boy together, and caught him looking in their direction, before quickly turning back to his game with Remus.
“Oh, there’s nothing going on there,” she said with a shake of her head.
Sirius nodded, but he knew that it changed nothing. It didn’t matter how he felt, or if she had feelings for James. James had feelings for her, and that’s all that mattered. That was why he would take this secret to his grave.
“Anyway, she’s great,” he said, going back to their conversation before.
Lily flipped her hair back, posing dramatically. “Not better than me,” she protested, winking at him. Sirius felt his grip tighten on the book in his hands, his knuckles whitening, glad that Lily hadn’t seemed to notice. He glanced back across at James for a moment before looking back at his best friend’s girl.
“’Course not Lil. Nobody beats you.”