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Why did it have to be Charlie?
Alex frowned as he considered the question as he hurried toward the studio Charlie had booked to practice the duet Kerba was making them do together.
He would have preferred to be partnered with almost anyone else.
Not that Charlie was mean or bad at dancing.
It was quite the opposite. Charlie was new to the Academy and already predicted to win le prix de la liberté, Liberty Dance Academy’s most prestigious scholarship. It was a year contract with the professional dance corps associated with the school—one for a female dancer and another for a male dancer.
Charlie was Kerba’s most promising new student.
Alex had been one of Kerba’s favourites before his suicide attempt had left him with a traumatic brain injury that had weakened his left side. He was slowly getting better—he had gotten rid of the cane—but dancing like he did before almost seemed an impossible task. His new goal was to graduate from the Academy with his friends and retire from dance.
Charlie was a talented dancer, and Alex would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little jealous.
He was also attractive, with his dirty blond hair and bright blue eyes—always full of cheerful hope—Alex had caught himself watching the other boy during practice. There was something about how he moved his muscular, graceful body that drew him in. Alex wanted to hate him and at times he found Charlie’s constant positivity annoying, but much to his dismay, the feeling he felt while watching Charlie dance was quite the opposite of hate. The way his heart would skip a beat when Charlie would flash his easy smile at him was bothersome. How was he supposed to maintain a professional relationship with his dance partner, with his heart doing jetés and his stomach doing pirouettes?
Alex had been putting off practicing for a few days now, giving Charlie various excuses why he couldn’t make the times or places he suggested practicing work. But after Alex lost his temper in practice earlier that day and Kerba laid into him at their last workshop to suck it up and make it work with Charlie because he wasn’t giving him another partner, Alex had no choice but to say yes to the seven pm studio time Charlie had already booked.
When Alex arrived, Charlie was already there, using the barre to stretch. He was barefoot, wearing black three-quarter length leggings and a form-fitting black tank top. Alex felt his eyes trace Charlie’s muscular leg from where his foot came to a perfect point on the barre to where they attached at the hip. He shook his head and made himself look at Charlie’s face, hoping the other boy hadn’t seen him staring at his body. He felt his cheeks flush with embarrassment as Charlie beamed, noticing his presence.
“You made it!”
“Yep, I made it,” Alex deadpanned. He hoped the sarcasm might disguise how he felt. “I, uh, need to warm up though.”
“Of course, that’s what I’ve been doing while I waited.” Charlie almost seemed nervous, but Alex dismissed the thought because Charlie was always so confident and encouraging. There is no way his stomach churned like Alex’s did. “Want to run through the warm-up routine together?”
“Sure,” Alex said. He hadn’t been able to eat dinner his stomach was so knotted from the fear he would make a fool of himself. But running through the warm-up routine with Charlie had the opposite effect. As they went through motions so familiar they could do them in their sleep, their eyes would sometimes meet and Alex couldn’t help himself from smiling back every time they did. Away from the scrutinizing eyes of their classmates and teachers, it was the first time Alex truly felt at ease with Charlie.
Charlie plugged his phone into the stereo system and held his finger about the play button, his other hands on his hip, skin dewy from the warm-up and blue eyes twinkling.
“Ready?”
While he was more at ease than he had been before, Alex felt as though he would never be ready to dance this duet. While he had rebuilt a lot of his strength, his left leg was unreliable, which was what made dancing frustrating. He still loved it, but it never had the ease that it had before.
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Alex said dryly, giving his hands a wipe against the tapered gray sweat pants he wore to practice.
Charlie pressed play and took his starting position at the centre of the room, and Alex joined him.
At first, they moved in unison, bodies in time with the beat. It was a part of the choreography they had struggled with during class, but without an audience, they could pull it off without trouble. The first few minutes of dancing with Charlie felt like it had before his attempt—buoyant and joyful—and Alex wished they could have gone on like that forever. If they had struggled with the first part during class, the next part of the dance they had never done successfully and tonight was no different. It was a second arabesque, meaning that Alex’s weight was on his left leg. Randomly and without warning, Alex would find himself unable to hold the position. They tried it a few times, the anger building up within Alex every time he failed.
His leg gave out once more, and he collapsed into a cross-legged position. He could feel his face go hot and his hands form fists as the rage he attempted to suppress. He could feel tears prick in his eyes and he turned his face away from Charlie, not wanting him to see his frustration.
“Hey—you were doing great there.” Charlie spoke softly as he sat down in front of him. “Listen, you are going to get this.”
Alex shook his head, blinking the tears away.
“I fucked myself up forever—I’ve never going to dance like I did before. I don’t think I can do this,” Alex said, the words tumbling out. “You should just go. Tell Kerba you need another partner.”
Alex felt Charlie’s hand rest on his arm. His first instinct was to swat it away, but for some reason, he didn’t. An electric warmth travelled from where Charlie rested his fingers, and Alex felt the flutter in his stomach intensify and swore his heart stuttered for a moment, pounding against his chest when it resumed. It was hard to stay angry in Charlie’s presence, but his touch wasn’t exactly calming either as his thumb stroked his forearm, it stirred something awake inside him.
“Alex, you know Kerba isn’t going to let us switch.” Charlie was right. In fact, Kerba’s exact words were: For better or worse, you and Charlie will dance a duet together. They sat in silence, Charlie eventually releasing his arm. He cocked his head to the side, as if considering an idea. “What if we change the type of arabesque to one that doesn’t rely on you putting weight on your left leg?”
Alex shrugged, feeling calmer and less like quitting now.
“I mean, we dance together for better or fucking worse—it is worth a try, I guess.”
Charlie offered his hand to Alex, a broad smile stretching across his face. Alex couldn’t help but give him a half-smile.
They practiced the changed arabesque a few times and Alex could consistently hold it. Charlie showered him with encouraging words which Alex couldn’t help but roll his eyes at every time, even though he didn’t want Charlie to stop.
“Why don’t we give the whole dance a try again?”
Alex blew out a breath and closed his eyes, hoping this would be it and he finally wouldn’t fail. The music started, and he did his best to surrender to the music, staying out of his head as over-thinking the moves led to him making mistakes. He almost forgot they had changed the arabesque he was so engrossed in being one with the music and before he knew it, they had soared past the part that had given him so much trouble. They ended the dance by walking slowly away from each other until they were both off-stage. It was almost hard to keep his movements slow and controlled as his heart raced with elation, almost begging him to jump up and down with joy at making it through the dance for the first time.
Charlie had less restraint than him as he bounded across the room, closed the gap between them, and wrapped his arms around him in a joyous hug. Alex felt his breath leave his body as Charlie’s hands pat him firmly on his back as if they were football players and not ballet dancers and they had just scored the winning touchdown.
“We did it!” Charlie said as he released Alex from his grasp. Their eyes locked for a moment before they both looked away from each other. Alex’s eyes dropped to Charlie’s lips so he should have seen Charlie’s grin change as he went in for the kiss—his lips colliding with Alex’s, causing Alex to inhale rapidly, making his head spin a little as if he had just done a bunch of pirouettes without spotting. It was surprising, but a pleasant surprise, something that he had wanted for a while but never thought the feelings might be mutual. Charlie pulled away, and they both gasped for air.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me,” Charlie tried to explain, and Alex wasn’t sure if the slight pink in Charlie’s cheeks was from the exertion of dancing or if he was blushing.
Alex couldn’t help but place his hand on the other boy’s cheek, cupping his chin in his hand. Instead of responding with words, he returned the kiss, this time taking his time. While Charlie’s lips were soft, there was a light roughness of a bit of invisible five o’clock shadow due to Charlie’s fair hair. He could feel Charlie’s hand drop to wrap around his waist and pull him in tighter. Just as they had synchronized themselves in dance, they stood and kissed each movement of their lips in step. Alex inhaled, catching Charlie’s unique scent enhanced by their time dancing layered over the hint of clean citrus of his deodorant. His entire body was tingling as Charlie’s hand traced the small of his back and they continued their embrace, unaware of the passage of time.
“It’s 8:05 people,”—a voice called into the studio which caused Charlie and Alex to jump apart as though electrocuted—"I have this studio booked."
It was Tony.
“Oh,” Tony said as his eyebrows lifted, the corners of his lips tugging into a wide grin. “I’ll just let you two finish up.”
Charlie bit his bottom lip, staring earnestly into Alex’s eyes.
“You don’t think he saw us, do you?”
“He definitely saw us.” Alex raised his eyebrows and sighed, his lips slowly curving into a slight smile. “But I don’t think I care.”
They collected their belongings and Alex surprised himself by grabbing Charlie’s hand, and Charlie gave him the biggest smile as they walked out of the studio together.
For better or for worse.