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Nemesis never thought LS would find someone else. He never thought that day would come. He also did not imagine that it would hurt so much to witness that moment.
Tim was aware of all LS hints at him. Since he started living with him in Korea, he realized that LS took some jokes to the extreme. Nemesis did not mind if they were in private, but if someone else started to mention it he would get angry and deny it. Tim was straight. At least that's what he started saying to himself on a daily basis to suppress any romantic thoughts about LS.
He doesn't love LS, at all. They are friends, nothing more. He doesn't love physical contact. He doesn’t love it when LS leans on his shoulder and calls him Lemon with a soft tone. He doesn't love staying up late talking to LS about random topics, many related to love.
That is what he said to himself every day. Day after day, fooling himself because he was actually afraid. He did not want to accept it, he did not want to accept that he had fallen in love with LS. His stupid jokes, his handsome looks, his personality, how much he cared for Tim, his sweet side when they were alone, his hysterical screams when they watched LCS and someone first picked Renekton...
Nemesis thought it was fine. He did not have to change anything, he could keep denying it. He did not need anything else. As long as they remained friends, everything would be fine. Both could continue single, living together and sharing fun moments.
However, Tim never imagined that LS was so serious about getting a date. It all started as a joke. Nemesis was not at all interested in finding a girlfriend on Tinder —after all, he already had the person he loved by his side. However, LS, with each passing day, seemed more and more desperate to find someone.
Tim had more matches than he expected, but he ignored all of them. And he supposed LS would do the same. But Nemesis did not expect to feel such a strong pain in his chest when LS told him that he had a date.
"Good luck," fake forced words come out of his mouth, pretending to be happy for his friend.
Because he should be happy for him. LS has finally found someone… but all Nemesis wanted at that moment was for the date to be a failure.
Nevertheless, he was a bit unlucky because it was the opposite. The date was a success, and LS looked so happy. He posted on Instagram and Twitter about it and called his friends to talk about how perfect that guy was.
And since Nemesis is his friend, he also had to listen to it. He had to hear how much LS liked that person, how well everything went, the night they spent in that hotel...
He can't bear it. He hates it. He hates how he's feeling. Tim did not need those feelings. He wanted to get rid of them, but he couldn't. Tim never wanted to fall in love with LS, but he did not do anything to try to make it work either. Quite the opposite. He suppressed his feelings even knowing that LS was willing to try something together.
Now he is lying on his bed, wondering what Nick is doing. He has not been home for three days. He is probably having fun with his date at the hotel.
Tim does not want to get up, but he knows he has to stream in less than an hour since he has promised it to his viewers. He feels a lump in his throat and small tears begin to form in his eyes.
He curses under his breath while he closes his eyes. He hates feeling like this.
He hates knowing that he could have had it all, but the only thing he can do now is regret everything.